Coercion

Listening With Empathy: Key To Common Ground

Rodger Dean Duncan

MAR 1, 2018

"Giving other people sufficient psychological breathing room—even those who weren’t very eager to talk with a reporter—seemed to work wonders. When I bridled my natural impatience to “get on with it,” they seemed more willing to disclose, explore, and even to be a bit vulnerable."

"Don’t misunderstand. I’m not trying to equate dialogue with a news reporter’s interviewing approach. But I am suggesting that listening with empathy requires patience. It requires a willingness to allow the other person to take the conversation in fresh directions (serendipity can pay dividends). It requires letting go of your own needs and focusing on the other person’s needs. It requires mindful attention to the subtleties of tone, mood, temperament, and the spirit of the moment. It’s all about listening to understand rather than to control or to coerce."