Alone
Title: Alone
Author: Diane
Entry: 09
Fandom: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Pairing: Grant Ward/Skye
Rating: Teen Rated
Genre: Angst
Disclaimer: I don't own a thing!
Spoilers/Warnings: This takes place after episode 1.05 “Girl in the Flower Dress”.
Word Count: 1,138
Summary: While she knew she more than deserved it, Ward's remark about being off the clock when she had suggested he come with her to see Coulson had stung and the last thing she wanted right now was to see the disappointment written all over his face.
Author's Notes: This has been written for The October Writing Challenge.
Nursing her drink, Skye stared out of the plane window at the inky darkness. Her mind was a whirlwind of emotion and she knew she wasn't going to be getting any sleep tonight. The bunk had felt too closed in for her so she'd decided to come and sit out here. When she had seen the bottle of scotch sitting on the counter the temptation to pour herself a couple of fingers of the amber liquid had been too strong to ignore.
She'd been relieved to find the living area of the bus deserted. While she knew she more than deserved it, Ward's remark about being off the clock when she had suggested he come with her to see Coulson had stung and the last thing she wanted right now was to see the disappointment written all over his face. The memory of him snapping the handcuffs on her wrists made her stomach roil even though she was well aware he was following his boss's orders.
“Yeah, keeping telling yourself that,” she mumbled to herself before bringing the tumbler up to her lips and taking a sip.
“Talking to yourself, huh?”
Skye inwardly groaned. Great. Just what she didn't want. “Well, I figured I might as well since no one else is talking to me.”
“What do you expect?” Ward asked somberly, dropping down into the seat opposite her.
She shook her head. “Nothing.” Her eyes watered and she closed them in an attempt to keep the tears at bay. Crying wasn't going to solve anything. The grip she had on the glass in her hand tightened as the silence between them grew more awkward. “Just say it okay... get it over with so you can go back to bed and leave me alone.”
“Say what?”
Her laugh was humorless. “You know what.”
“Fine,” Ward said, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. “Why did you do it? Why did you betray us like that?”
Skye swallowed past the lump that had formed in her throat. For some reason, she hadn't been expecting that particular question. “I-I don't know.”
“You don't know,” he repeated incredulously. “We took you in and I—we trusted you and this is how you repay us.”
A tear rolled down her cheek and she quickly brushed it away. “I'm sorry.” Her gaze was fixed on her lap but she could feel his eyes boring into her.
“Great, you're sorry. I guess all is forgiven.”
Meeting his hard stare, she was sure she saw a flicker of hurt in his eyes and it made her feel a hundred times worse than she already did. She raised her wrist to show him the electronic bracelet she now wore and said, “I guess this means I'm no longer training to be a field agent.”
Ward shrugged. “Coulson hasn't told us what he's decided about that yet.”
“Right.”
“Do you even want to be a part of S.H.I.E.L.D.?” he asked. “Was any of it real or was it all just another part of your act to infiltrate us?”
Draining the rest of her drink, Skye set the glass down on the table in front of her. “It was real,” she whispered. “It is real.”
Looking into her face, he wanted to believe that she was being honest with him but after everything that had happened... he didn't want to get burned again. “Forgive me if I don't quite believe you.”
She bit her lip. Picking up the bottle, she poured herself another shot and then downed it in one mouthful; wincing as it burned a path down her throat.
“Getting drunk isn't the answer,” he told her, taking the bottle from her and screwing the cap back on.
“Maybe not,” she replied. Settling her bare feet on her seat, she wrapped her arms around her knees and hugged them to her chest. “But it might help me forget for a little while.”
Ward schooled his features and called on every ounce of his training so as not to start feeling sorry for her. Even as he did so, he recalled their game of Battleship and how much he'd enjoyed the teasing banter between them. It was hard reconciling that with what had then followed at Miles Lydon's apartment.
“So, how long have you two been together?” he couldn't help asking.
“It's not like that... we were never...” she trailed off. “It was more of a friendship than anything else.”
“Friends with benefits, huh?”
Skye inwardly cringed at his disapproving tone and chose not to respond. Other than what she had told him about growing up in foster care, he didn't really know anything about her and she wasn't about to share personal details with him while he was so pissed off at her even if it was warranted. She wondered if Coulson had told Ward or the rest of the team about what she'd confided to him about her parents. Going by her SO's remarks she had a feeling he hadn't... not yet, at least.
Uncurling herself, she got up from her seat and stood in front of him for what felt like minutes but, in reality, was probably only a few seconds. She opened and closed her mouth a few times as she tried to vocalize her thoughts. In the end she simply said, “I'll make this up to you... to all of you.”
He watched her closely, hoping she was being sincere and that it wasn't just another lie. “Skye—”
She raised her hand and cut him off. “I'm not expecting you to believe me... I know actions speak louder than words.”
“Yeah, they do,” Ward agreed.
She wanted to say more but suddenly she felt exhausted and all she wanted to do was crawl into her bunk. “I guess I'll see you in the morning.”
“It's already morning,” he said, tapping his wristwatch.
“Then I guess I'll see you later.” She felt a smile pulling at the corners of her mouth at the slight teasing tone his voice held but she managed to reign it in when she saw the mask come down and he, once more, returned to his stoic self.
Ward watched her leave but before she got too far away, he called her name. “Skye?”
Skye stopped but didn't turn around to face him.
“I'll talk to Coulson in the morning and find out what this, uh... situation means for your training schedule.”
She gave a small nod before hurrying away to the solitude of her bunk. Once inside and with the door firmly closed, she let her tears fall.
Fin