Powerless
Title: Powerless
Author: Diane
Pairing: Nathan/Haley
Rating: Teen Rated
Disclaimer: I don’t own a thing!
Spoilers/Warnings: This is an extension to the final NH scene in episode 7.20 ‘Learning To Fall’.
Summary: Turning to her after he’d managed to put out the fire, her unresponsiveness had chilled him to the bone and her chocolate brown eyes, which were always so expressive, were blank and it was almost as if she was looking straight through him.
Author’s Notes: It feels like forever since I’ve written anything for my beloved Nathan and Haley but after watching this week’s episode, I suddenly found myself feeling inspired. Here’s hoping that feeling sticks around for as long as possible!
A big thank you goes to the fabulous Kristen for all of her help and support with this, as well as with that pesky final paragraph which was troubling me. You rock, girlie!
Powerless.
That was the only word he could come up with to accurately describe how he was feeling right now. Well, that and scared, of course. Seeing Haley sitting behind her piano, watching as flames consumed it… it had seemed so surreal. He’d almost wanted to pinch himself to make sure he wasn’t in the middle of some weird nightmare. Immediately realizing it was actually happening, his first instinct had been to pull her to safety… to make sure she was okay.
Turning to her after he’d managed to put out the fire, her unresponsiveness had chilled him to the bone and her chocolate brown eyes, which were always so expressive, were completely blank and it was almost as if she was looking straight through him.
He knew she was still grieving and he was well aware that Lydia’s passing had hit her harder than it had done with some of her siblings. But, until tonight and her final words to him about needing to call her mom, he hadn’t realized just how grief-stricken she was. It hadn’t even occurred to him when he’d seen her snap at Jamie earlier that day. Sure, he knew it wasn’t her usual behaviour but he’d done as she’d requested and given her some space. God, how could he have been so blind not to have picked up on any of this before now. After everything they’d been through in the past, he should’ve known she was trying to put on a brave face for him, Jamie and everyone else that loved and cared about her.
Waking up to an empty bed as he’d been doing fairly regularly recently wasn’t a particularly unusual occurrence since Haley had always been an early riser but now, looking back over the past several weeks and thinking about her behavior, he wondered if he should’ve read more into it. If it had been one of the early warning signs. There’d been more than a few mornings when he’d come downstairs only to find her sitting outside by the pool, just staring at the water and when he’d gone to touch her, her skin had been ice cold; letting him know without words that she must’ve been out there for some time.
Whenever he’d tell her he was there for her, that she could talk to him about her mom, she’d smile softly and kiss him on the cheek before saying she was fine and that he shouldn’t worry.
Deep down, he knew she wasn’t fine but he figured she’d talk to him when she was ready and there was also the fact that he didn’t want to push her. She was just as stubborn as he was when she wanted to be and he knew that backing her into a corner and forcing her to talk to him wouldn’t have worked.
Now though… he really wished he’d tried a little harder to get her to open up to him. Or to Quinn, for that matter.
One thing he knew without a shadow of a doubt was that after tonight’s events, something needed to be done and soon. He didn’t even want to think about what could’ve happened if he hadn’t come downstairs when he had.
Nathan started pacing the hallway again, running a hand through his hair and releasing a heavy sigh as he waited for Skills to arrive to watch over a sleeping Jamie. Haley had been gone for a little over half-an-hour and he was getting more and more worried with each passing minute. He’d been calling her cell phone every five minutes but it kept going straight to voicemail and that was only adding to his worry. He just wanted to get out there and start looking for her. He was fairly sure she hadn’t gone to Quinn’s or Brooke’s although he had left messages on their respective voicemail/answer-phones just in case she had turned up on their respective doorsteps.
He was just about to dial her cell phone again when he heard a knock at the front door and he quickly opened it, expecting to see his friend. Instead, he saw Haley standing there and he felt almost dizzy with relief at seeing her safe and sound in front of him. “God, Haley…”
Wrapping her in his arms, Nathan held onto her tightly but something didn’t feel right and in that split-second he realized she wasn’t holding onto him the way she usually did. Her arms lay limply by her side but he took comfort in the fact she wasn’t pulling away from him. Just as he’d thought that, he felt her draw back from him and move around him. “Hales, I—”
“I’m tired,” she replied, her voice a quiet whisper. “I’m going to bed.”
Before he could say anything else, she started climbing the stairs.
Watching his wife disappear from view, Nathan picked up his phone and speed-dialled Skills and as he spoke to his friend, in the back of his mind he was trying to work out the best way forward with Haley.
Things couldn’t carry on as they were, especially after what he’d witnessed this evening, and whether she wanted it or not he was going to do everything he could to help her.
Haley had always been the strong one; the one who kept everyone and everything together whenever life threw yet another curve ball their way but now it was his turn to be there for her. He just had to figure out how.
Fin