Chapter Four
November 7, 2010
"What's up?" Nathan asked his girlfriend when he saw her worried expression.
"Nothing," she replied, lowering her head and hoping her hair would hide her from his curious gaze.
"You've got that look on your face, Hales. You know, the one that tells me something's bothering you but you don't want to say."
Her cheeks flushed and she cursed herself. "You shouldn't know that look… not yet anyway."
Laughing, he said, "C'mon, just tell me. You know you want to."
Haley paused before biting the bullet and asking him the question that had plagued her for the last few days. "Okay, well, I was just wondering… are you going home for Thanksgiving? Back to Tree Hill, I mean."
"I, uh, I'm not sure right now," he lied. His mother had called him the previous night asking him what his plans for the upcoming holiday were. He'd wanted to wait until he knew what Haley was doing before he committed himself to anything. "Are you going back home?"
She shook her head. "No, not this year. I somehow got lucky and managed to book Christmas off at work this year so I'll be going home then and staying in New York for Thanksgiving." Twirling a lock of hair around her finger, she forced herself to keep her eyes locked on his. "It's just… I thought if you were going to be here in the city too, that maybe we could spend the holiday together."
Nathan smiled and did his best to ignore the niggling doubt that suddenly popped into his head. He loved the thought of spending the holidays with her but, at the same time, he couldn't help feeling anxious about it.
"It's okay if you don't want to," she said, cutting into his thoughts. "I know we haven't been together all that long yet."
"No, I do. I really do. It's just… I hadn't really given much thought to what I'd be doing, to be honest."
"You're telling me Deb hasn't called yet and talked you into coming home?" Haley asked, her tongue firmly in her cheek.
Nathan had never been one to blush yet he could feel his face heating up. "Fine, you got me. She actually called me a couple of nights ago to see what my plans are. I guess I was wanting to find out what you were doing first before I agreed to anything."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Is that okay?"
She nodded shyly. "Of course it is. So you were also thinking about us spending Thanksgiving together in the city?"
"Uh huh. I'm not expecting you to cook for me or anything," he made sure to tell her. "We can book a table at a restaurant or something."
"I don't mind cooking," she told him. "Besides, a lot of restaurants close for Thanksgiving so it would probably be easier for us to stay in. It'll just be the two of us anyway since Lindsey is going with Josh to visit his parents."
"Right... okay." Nathan swallowed nervously, his anxiety kicking up a notch at that piece of information. At least when her best friend and roommate was around he had an excuse for not being intimate with her. Of course, now having his own apartment didn't help in that regard and some of the excuses he was coming up with for not wanting them to hang out there were sounding even more pathetic. They were dating now so the natural progression of their relationship would be for them to spend as much time alone together as possible… yet here he was doing the exact opposite of that.
He knew at some point he was going to have to be honest with her and tell her the reasons behind his weird behavior but right now he couldn't. Getting involved with her was probably a bad idea… especially considering all the baggage he was carrying but he had always been a selfish bastard and the thought of not being with Haley… yeah, it didn't bear thinking about.
"Nathan… are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," he replied. Reaching over, he covered her hand with his own and gave it a gentle squeeze. "I guess I'd better give my mom a call later and let her know I won't be home until Christmas now."
"Will she be okay about it?"
He nodded. "Yeah, it's not the first time I haven't been home for one of the holidays."
Turning her hand over, Haley intertwined their fingers. "If it does turn out to be a problem, just tell me. I'll understand."
"It won't be," he reassured her. "I'm pretty sure when I tell her who I'll be spending Thanksgiving with she'll be more than fine about me not coming home."
"Maybe it'd be better to wait to tell her about us," she said, her eyes focused on their joined hands.
"Why?" he asked. "Haley?"
"I don't know… I guess, I just don't want her or any of your family blaming me for keeping you away from them or something."
"Believe me," he said, chuckling, "that's the last thing that'll happen. They'll probably be relieved I'm actually in a relationship with someone they know and approve of."
"Hmm, is that right?" she asked, shifting closer to him on his couch.
"Yep." Lifting his arm, he wrapped it around Haley's shoulders. "My mom already pretty much loves you for helping me graduate high school so she'll probably throw a party when she finds out we're together."
Haley smiled. "A party, huh? Tell her to make sure there's cake," she teased.
"I will and for your sake I'll make sure it's a shop bought one," he quipped.
"She still can't cook, huh?" Haley remembered the stories he would regale her with during some of their tutoring sessions about Deb's culinary disasters.
"According to my dad she's gotten better and I'm sure that's down to Karen giving her some pointers but she's still pretty hopeless. It's a good job the holidays are spent with everyone together and that Karen does the majority of the cooking."
"I miss her cooking. I remember when I used to work in the café and she'd be out in the back baking and the smells coming out of the kitchen would make my mouth water."
"Your mom's an awesome cook, too," Nathan said. "I used to love coming over to your house for tutoring sessions 'cause I knew there'd be a good chance she'd feed me. I still dream about her chocolate fudge brownies."
Haley made a face before she cracked up laughing. "Okay, that sounded kind of dirty."
"You, Haley James, have got a filthy mind," he told her, joining in with her laughter.
"So, it looks like we'll be spending the holidays together, then."
He nodded. "Yeah." Pressing a kiss onto her temple, he said, "I'm really looking forward to it."
Snuggling into his side, she whispered, "Me too."
* * * * *
November 25, 2010 - Thanksgiving Day
"You sure you don't need any help in here?" Nathan asked his girlfriend for the third time since his arrival that morning. Leaning on the door-frame, he couldn't take his eyes off of her as she busied around the kitchen. She was wearing a knee-skimming black lace skirt which she had teamed with a plum colored top and her hair was pulled back into a messy bun, a few loose curls framing her face. It was dressy while still being fairly casual and, as was always the case with her, she looked gorgeous.
"Everything's under control," Haley told him, flashing him a smile, "but thanks for the offer."
Smiling back at her, he entered the room and his mouth was practically watering at the delicious smells filling it. "Well, can I get you a drink at least?"
"That I won't say no to," she replied with a giggle. "There's wine in the fridge."
Nodding his head, Nathan busied himself with retrieving and opening the bottle of white wine before pouring some into the two glasses he'd grabbed from the overhead cupboard she'd directed him to. Picking them up, he handed one to her and then said, "Happy Thanksgiving, Hales."
Haley lightly clinked her glass against his. "Happy Thanksgiving to you, too, baby."
They each took a sip of their wine before they both leaned in at the same time and shared a soft kiss.
"Okay, you go and carry on watching the game while I finish in here." Seeing that he was about to protest, she added, "There's not much left to do, I promise. In fact, we should be eating in about fifteen minutes."
"Okay, okay," he capitulated, chuckling. Making his way back into the living room, Nathan placed his glass onto the coffee table before he took a seat in the middle of the couch and carried on watching the Cowboys who were playing the New Orleans Saints. Football wasn't something he was all that into and as the game progressed, his mind began to wander to other things.
As much as he was trying not to think about it, he couldn't help worrying about what was going to happen that night. With it being a holiday plus the fact Lindsey wasn't at home, Haley would be expecting him to stay over, even more so since neither of them were working the next day. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her feelings but he just wasn't ready to take that next step in their relationship and definitely not when he wasn't being open and honest with her. For a second, he regretted not going back home to Tree Hill and putting a little bit of distance between them but that thought passed as quickly as it had arrived. He loved being with Haley and he hated the thought of her spending the holiday alone.
"Nathan?"
Haley's voice broke into his thoughts and turning his head to the side to look up at her, Nathan saw the concerned expression on her face and he mentally kicked himself for yet again spoiling her good mood. "Sorry, I was miles away," he said sheepishly. "Were you calling me?"
"Yeah, I was just saying that dinner's ready."
Hearing that, he was surprised to realized he'd been lost in thought for that length of time. "Okay," he said, pushing himself up off of the couch and following her into the kitchen where the dining table was. It was laid beautifully and he could see the effort she had put into making their first holiday together special. His stomach growled at the sights and smells of the awesome spread she had put on for them both and he smiled broadly as he pulled her chair out for her. "This all looks so good, Hales."
"Thanks... I hope it tastes as good as it looks," she quipped, taking a seat and then laying her napkin across her lap.
"I know it will," he said as went over to his seat and then sat down.
"Uh, I know this is probably something you don't do but would you mind if I said grace?"
"No, of course not."
"Okay," she said, giving him a grateful smile. Placing her hands together and slightly bowing her head, Haley began the blessing, "Lord, for this food and all we need, we give thanks for what we receive. Amen."
"Amen," Nathan repeated.
"So, would you like to do the honors and carve?" she asked him, chuckling at the nervous look he shot her.
"Uh... sure, if you want me to. I've got to warn you though, I haven't got much experience of doing it."
"You'll do fine."
"Okay," he replied, "but don't say I didn't warn you." Picking up the large fork and carving knife, he did his best to picture how his father and uncle did the job before he began to carve the golden turkey; placing the sliced meat onto their two plates.
A few minutes later, he sat down and shook out his own napkin and laid it across his lap.
Smiling over at him, she said, "Help yourself," before she picked up the dish of mashed potatoes and placed a generous serving onto her plate, passing it to Nathan when she was done.
He already knew Haley was an excellent cook but she had outdone herself with her Thanksgiving feast. "I know I keep saying it but this is amazing. I can't remember the last time I ate anything as good as all this."
She blushed at his compliment. "Thank you," she practically whispered.
"You need to learn to start taking compliments, babe," he said teasingly before popping another forkful of turkey and cranberry sauce into his mouth.
Ignoring his words, Haley instead asked, "So, what are you thankful for this year?"
"You," Nathan stated simply. As he knew it would, her blush intensified. "I'm so thankful that you've come back into my life. I wasn't expecting it at all but I'm beyond grateful that it's happened."
"Me too, baby," she replied when she'd swallowed past the lump that had formed in her throat. "Me too."
* * * * *
After dinner, Nathan and Haley worked together to clean up; storing away any leftovers and then loading up the dishwasher. He had offered to do it himself while she relaxed but even as he'd made the suggestion he knew she wouldn't take him up on it and he was right.
Now, here they were, curled up together on the couch; an old black and white movie playing on the TV though neither of them were paying any attention to it. Haley's hands were in his hair, her blunt fingernails scratching along his scalp and down the back of his neck. Her lips danced their way up his throat until she arrived at his mouth but she made no attempt to kiss him. They hovered there for long lingering moments until he couldn't take it a second longer and he captured them with his own. Before he knew what was happening, he had her pinned beneath him as he kissed the hell out of her; one of his hands caressing her cheek.
Curling her tongue around his, Haley drew it into her mouth and sucked on it. The entire length of him was pressing her down into the couch cushions and she loved it. Slipping her fingers beneath his undershirt, she explored his back, savoring the feel of his muscles sliding around beneath his warm skin as he moved against her. "Nathan..." she moaned, moving one arm to curl it around his neck.
Hearing his name brought Nathan back to the present and he froze when, upon opening his eyes, he saw Haley lying underneath him. Breaking the kiss, he drew back from her but forced himself not to pull away the way he wanted to. He didn't want to scare her or, worse, have her think that she'd done something wrong when that wasn't the case at all.
"Nath—"
Before she could finish, the telephone suddenly rang and Nathan inwardly sighed with relief. Pushing himself off of her, he helped pull her up and then watched as she went over to the end table and grabbed the phone.
"Hello? … Hey, Linds... Thanks, Happy Thanksgiving to you, too. How's it going up there?"
Nathan tuned the conversation out, hoping that it would go on for a little while and that maybe Haley would forget about what had just happened. Yeah, wishful thinking, he knew that. No doubt her first questions to him would be what was wrong and if he was okay. He didn't know what to tell her. Okay, that was a lie. It was more that he didn't know how to tell her.
Today had been a really great day and the last thing he wanted to do was spoil things.
Giving Haley what he hoped was a reassuring smile as she continued to chat with her friend, Nathan left the room and headed for the bathroom. Closing and locking the door behind him, he went over to the sink and turned on the faucet, splashing his face with cold water. He didn't know what he was hoping that would achieve... maybe it was just another way of buying himself some more time. Patting his face dry with a hand towel, he stared at his reflection for a few minutes, taking long deep breaths as he did so.
Knowing he couldn't hide in there forever, he exited the bathroom and went back into the living room where he saw Haley was now off the phone.
"So, uh, how's Lindsey doing?" he asked, taking a seat in the armchair opposite the couch where she was sitting.
Haley noticed this but chose not to say anything. "She's good. She wanted to call me earlier but Josh's family have been keeping them busy so this was her first real opportunity to do it."
"Right."
The silence that followed was awkward and uncomfortable and they both felt it.
"Do you want something to drink?" Haley asked just as a way of breaking the quiet.
"Uh... sure."
"Hot chocolate?" she offered.
"Yeah, that sounds great." Nathan gave her a small smile as she got up from her seat and headed into the kitchen. Leaning forward, his elbows on his knees, he placed his head in his hands and couldn't stop another sigh from escaping. The night had been going so well and while he was pretty anxious about what would happen as the night progressed, he'd been having a great time with Haley. Now, things between them felt strained and weird.
An idea suddenly popped into his head and he inwardly cringed at his cowardice but he didn't know what else to do. Tonight so wasn't the night to have the conversation he needed to have with her and while this would make him feel even more of a dick, he decided to go with it.
Making himself as comfortable as possible in the armchair he was sitting in, he laid his head back and closed his eyes; doing his best to relax his breathing. By the time he heard her walk into the room a few minutes later, he was well on his way to falling asleep.
Holding two steaming mugs, Haley's heart sank as she stood by the couch and saw that Nathan was fast asleep. So much for them picking up where they'd left off before Lindsey's phone call, she thought to herself. Even though there had been this strange awkwardness afterwards, she had hoped that would dissipate while they drank their hot chocolate.
Yeah, apparently that had been too much to ask for.
Setting the mugs down onto the nearby coffee table, Haley went over to the hall closet and grabbed a spare comforter before walking back to him. As gently as possible, she covered him with it and unable to resist, she bent down and pressed a kiss onto his forehead. Straightening up, she stood and watched him for a moment. He looked so peaceful and, not for the first time, she wished he was in her bed where they could, at the very least, cuddle. Whispering goodnight to him, she picked up her beverage and made her way towards her bedroom, hitting the light switch as she did so.
It looked like the only thing accompanying her to bed tonight was her mug of hot chocolate.
* * * * *
Haley groaned when she opened her eyes and was confronted by the sun streaming in through her window. She cursed herself for forgetting to close her drapes before she went to sleep. Pushing herself up into a sitting position, she rested against the headboard as memories of last night played through her mind. Knowing she couldn't hide out in her bedroom all day, she threw back the covers and climbed out of bed, pulling her robe on over her pajamas.
After a quick stop in the bathroom, she made her way towards the living room. For all she knew Nathan had already left but she hoped that wasn't the case.
The comforter she'd covered him up with was folded and had been placed onto the armchair he had slept in. A wave of disappointment washed over her but it quickly evaporated and was replaced by a sense of hope when she heard a noise coming from the kitchen. When a few seconds later she saw him standing over the stove, his back to her, she released a quiet sigh of relief.
"Good morning," she said quietly as she entered the room.
Hearing her voice suddenly coming from behind him, Nathan startled slightly before turning around to face her. "Morning," he replied. "How'd you sleep?"
"Not bad. What about you?"
"Same." Glancing to the stove and the pan of eggs he was scrambling, he said, "I was going to bring you breakfast in bed."
Haley couldn't contain the smile that broke out on her face. "That's so sweet."
"It's the least I can do after falling asleep on you last night." The lie felt bitter on his tongue.
"You can't help being tired," she told him even as she remembered lying in bed and wondering whether he was genuinely asleep or faking it.
"Yeah… The wine we drank with dinner probably didn't help matters," he joked.
She smiled. "So, what's for breakfast?"
"Scrambled eggs, bacon and toast," Nathan replied. "Unless you'd prefer yesterday's leftovers." He laughed when she grimaced at his suggestion.
"Uh… no. Leftovers can wait until later… much later."
"Are you sure? I won't mind if you'd rather have some turkey and stuffing," he teased.
"If you're wanting me to throw up all over your shoes keep going," she retorted, giving his arm a playful slap.
"Okay, okay," he said, surrendering. Placing his hands on her shoulders, he ducked his head and popped a quick kiss onto her lips before turning her and gently pushing her towards the table which he had already set. "Take a seat and I'll bring our breakfast over."
Pulling out a chair, Haley sat down and smiled as she watched him comfortably move around her kitchen.
A few moments later, he was seated across from her and they were digging into their food.
"Thanks for doing this, Nathan," she said before picking up her glass of orange juice and taking a sip.
"You're welcome. I wanted to apologize for last night but also… I, uh…"
"You what?"
"I wanted to do something nice to celebrate our one month anniversary," he said shyly.
Haley clamped a hand across her mouth as she realized what today's date was. "I'd completely forgotten," she told him. "I'm sor—"
"Don't apologize," he interrupted. "It was only when I checked my watch this morning and saw the date that I remembered.
She breathed a quiet sigh of relief. Leaning forward slightly, she covered his hand which was resting on the table with her own. "I'm glad you remembered," she whispered.
"Me too," he answered, turning his hand over and lacing their fingers together.