Breathe Again
Title: Breathe Again
Author: Diane
Pairing: Nathan/Haley
Rating: Teen Rated
Disclaimer: I don’t own a thing!
Spoilers/Warnings: This picks up after the final NH scene in episode 7.16 ‘My Attendance Is Bad But My Intentions Are Good' so it might help to have seen it before reading this.
Summary: She felt numb and so cold, like the blood in her veins had turned to ice and would never thaw. The news she and her sisters had received today had been so out of the blue… and so devastating.
Author’s Notes: A big thank you goes to Kristen for reading over this for me and soothing my nerves. You’re a star! *hugs*
She felt numb and so cold, like the blood in her veins had turned to ice and would never thaw. The news she and her sisters had received today had been so out of the blue… and so devastating. Losing her father a few years ago had been painful enough and something she was still coming to terms with and it was so unfair… so fucking unfair that she was now going to lose her mother, too. The one person she had turned to for everything… the good and the bad… wasn’t going to be there for her… for any of them anymore. At least not in the physical sense, she thought remembering her mother’s earlier words to her.
“Hales?”
Swiping at the tears that were still falling, she turned to face Nathan and looked up at him through blurred vision. After she’d broken down in his arms, he’d gone inside to make her a hot drink after she’d said she felt cold. He’d tried to get her to come into the house with him but she told him she needed the fresh air. What she didn’t say was that ever since her mom had broken the news to them about her can—illness, she’d felt like she couldn’t breathe. The air inside the house was stifling and suffocating her.
“I made you some hot chocolate,” Nathan said, handing over her favourite mug, “And I added a shot of brandy in there.”
“Thanks,” she replied, wrapping her hands around it, trying to absorb the heat through the ceramic.
“Are you sure you don’t want to come inside?”
Haley shook her head. “Not yet. I just…” Her throat felt raw and she blinked away the fresh tears she could feel building. “I feel like… like I can’t breathe,” she whispered.
Taking the mug from her, he placed it on the ground before enfolding her in his embrace, one hand rubbing up and down her back over the fringed blanket she had wrapped around her. He could feel his own tears prickling behind his eyelids and he wished desperately that there was something he could say or do to make things better but he knew there wasn’t. All he could do was be there for her… for her and for Jamie.
“I’m going to stay with my mom tonight,” she said long minutes later.
Nathan nodded. He’d already guessed as much. “I’ll tuck Jamie in.”
“God, how are we going to tell him?”
“I’ll do it… if you want.”
“I-I don’t know. I don’t know if my mom wants to tell him herself or whether it’d be better coming from us.”
“We don’t have to decide anything right now, baby.”
“Yeah…” she trailed off. “Thank you for being here, Nathan.”
“Where else would I be?” he asked. Lowering his head, he nuzzled his nose against hers, one hand smoothing over her hair which was gently blowing in the night breeze. “I’m here for you and I always will be.”
Wrapping her arms around his waist, she buried her face in his chest, feeling his strong, steady heartbeat against her cheek and taking comfort from it.
Cupping her face between his palms, he said, “You be strong for your mom and I’ll be strong for you. Whenever you need to break down and cry, I’ll be there for you to lean on. You’re not alone in this. Okay?”
Haley couldn’t speak, tears once again clogging up her throat. Instead, she leaned up and pressed a desperate kiss onto his lips, holding her mouth there for long seconds before slowly retreating and giving him a somewhat shaky smile. “Thank you.”
“There’s no need to thank me but you’re welcome,” he said, giving her a gentle squeeze. “Now, how about we go inside and you spend some time with Lydia and Quinn whilst I see to Jamie?”
“Okay.”
Picking up the mug he’d previously set down, Nathan interlaced the fingers of his free hand with his wife’s and led her back into the house. He knew the weeks and months ahead were going to be extremely hard on all of them, but the main thing was that they had each other.
Fin