Whenever You Need Me
Title: Whenever You Need Me
Author: Diane
Prompt: 065 – The Hardest Part
Pairing: Nathan/Haley
Rating: Teen Rated
Disclaimer: Nope, I don’t own a thing!
Spoilers/Warnings: This is set post 5x16 “Cryin' Won't Help You Now” so everything up to and including it. It’s just my take on what might have happened after Nathan’s visit to see Dan.
Summary: Haley bit into her bottom lip to stop the distressed sound she could feel bubbling up in her throat from escaping. Instead, she hugged him tighter and gently rocked him to offer him as much comfort as she could.
Author’s Notes: This has been written for theechochorus, a multi-fandom drabble community, and is dedicated to Krystel as a belated birthday present. I hope you like it. *hugs*
Entering their bedroom, Haley saw him sitting on her side of the bed, his shoulders hunched over and his elbows resting on his knees. She knew that despite what he said, the current situation with Dan was weighing heavily on his mind and her heart ached for him. Climbing up onto the bed, she wrapped her arms around him from behind and rubbed her cheek against his, liking the gentle scrape of his late-in-the-day stubble grazing her skin.
“Hey,” Nathan said softly, bringing his hand up to hold her left one, his thumb running back and forth over the wedding band he’d placed on it almost six years ago.
“Hey,” she repeated. “How are you doing?”
“I’m okay. Just thinking…”
“About Dan?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m sorry, Nathan. I know how hard this must be on you and—”
“I just don’t get why I’m feeling so… so…”
“Sad? Angry?” Haley offered.
“I… Yeah. I mean, he’s a bad guy, you know. He took Keith from all of us but especially Karen, Luke and Lily and now… just because he’s dying he expects us to somehow forgive him.”
Holding him that little bit more tightly, she nuzzled her cheek against his and closed her eyes. “He’s still your dad and it’s natural that you’d be feeling sad about him dying.”
“He hasn’t been my dad in a long time,” he whispered. “When I was younger, a little older than what Jamie is now, and he used to push me so hard with basketball, there were times I hated him so much but then I’d feel bad because at least he was there which was more than my Mom was.”
Haley bit into her bottom lip to stop the distressed sound she could feel bubbling up in her throat from escaping. Instead, she hugged him tighter and gently rocked him to offer him as much comfort as she could.
“The hate I feel for him now though… it doesn’t even compare but then I hear Jamie telling me how great he thinks his Grandpa Dan is and I start remembering the good times I did have with him before everything got so messed up. I just… I hate feeling like this and…”
“Shhh, it’s okay, baby,” she soothed, brushing a hand through his hair and kissing his temple. “Like I told you earlier, if you need closure with him I’ll—”
“No. I’ve already told him that him dying makes no difference…” he told her, his voice trailing off.
“You can change your mind,” Haley said.
Shifting his position, Nathan pulled her around so that she was now sitting across his lap and he wrapped his arms around her, holding her as tightly as she had been holding him. “I know but I’m not going to.” He was quiet for several moments before speaking again. “He knows he’s dying so he’s got time to try and put his many mistakes right but he never gave Keith that opportunity. He didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to Karen or to Lucas and he never even got to meet his daughter. Why should I give Dan that courtesy when he couldn’t even give that to his brother?”
Haley’s tears rolled down her cheek and she wiped them away with the back of her hand as she contemplated her husband’s words. “I threw away the thank you card that Jamie made for Dan.”
He nodded. “Good. He doesn’t deserve it.”
“I just don’t know what we’re going to tell Jamie once he’s gone. If… when he ever finds out that we hid all this from him… I’m just scared he won’t forgive us for not having told him the truth and given him a chance to know his grandpa.”
“Yeah, I know. And, let’s face it, the news won’t stay secret for long in Tree Hill so it’s better he hears it from us than from anyone else.”
“I agree, but what do we tell him? I don’t want him having nightmares about Dan like before.”
“I-I don’t know, Hales… I really don’t know.” Lacing their fingers together, he gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “How about we try and figure something out tomorrow because, I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted.”
Smiling down at him, Haley nodded. “Yeah, I am, too.” Lowering her head, she brushed her lips against his and she chuckled into his mouth when he immediately deepened the kiss. Reluctantly breaking the kiss, she slid off of his lap and taking both of his hands in hers, she pulled him up off the bed. “C’mon, old man, let’s get some sleep.”
“Hey, less of the old, thank you very much.” The teasing tone left his voice a moment later and banding his arms around her waist, he brought her in close to his body. “Thank you, Hales.”
“What for?”
“For everything,” he told her sincerely, his eyes locked on her rich chocolate brown ones. “I don’t know what I’d do without you and Jamie.”
“I don’t know what I’d do without the both of you either,” she replied, her eyes once more glistening with tears. Resting her head against his chest and closing her eyes, she listened to the steady beating of his heart, feeling his fingers threading through her hair.
Across town, Dan Scott sipped his scotch as he stared at a photograph of himself and Nathan, knowing deep down inside that his son would never let him into his family’s life and grant him his dying wish.
The hardest part was wondering what things might be like if he did.
Fin