The Fear Of Not Knowing
Title: The Fear Of Not Knowing
Author: Diane
Prompt: 081 - Fear
Pairing: Nathan/Haley
Rating: Mature Rated
Disclaimer: I don’t own a thing!
Spoilers/Warnings: This is a follow on from episode 6.05 ‘You’ve Dug Your Own Grave, Now Lie In It’ so you might not want to read this until you’ve watched it. Story contains references to violence.
Summary: Haley’s heart was racing wildly in her chest, guilt coursing through her veins as she sat in the back of the car and cuddled her son’s trembling body against her own. She could feel the fear radiating from him and her hold on him tightened that little bit more. “It’s okay, baby... Momma’s here...”
Author’s Notes: This has been written for Kelly (dareNALEYtomove) who wanted an extension to last week’s episode. I know this isn’t exactly what you requested but I hope you like it anyway.
It’s also been written for theechochorus, a multi-fandom drabble community.
A big thank you goes to Lori for helping me out and reading over this for me. Love ya, hon! *hugs*
Haley’s heart was racing wildly in her chest, guilt coursing through her veins as she sat in the back of the car and cuddled her son’s trembling body against her own. She could feel the fear radiating from him and her hold on him tightened that little bit more. “It’s okay, baby… Momma’s here...”
“She was gonna take me away again,” he whispered.
Her heart broke at how timid his voice sounded and she blinked away the tears she could feel prickling behind her eyelids. How much more was her little boy expected to go through? “Shh, it’s okay, buddy... She can’t hurt us anymore.” The image of Dan shooting that... that maniac was something Haley knew she’d never forget and one thing she was grateful for was the fact that Jamie hadn’t witnessed it, although him hearing the gunshot was bad enough.
“I wanna see Daddy...”
“I know you do, baby. I want to see him, too.” Having already checked her phone, she knew Nathan had been the one to call her when she and Jamie were hiding in the cornfield but she hadn’t yet called him back. The last thing she wanted to do was freak him out while he was several hours away but she knew he needed to know what had happened.
“How about you stay here with Nanny Deb for a few minutes while I give him a call and find out when he’s coming home?”
Jamie shook his head and wrapped his little arms around her, preventing her from going anywhere. “No! I wanna stay with you, Momma!”
Looking into his blue, tear-filled eyes, Haley’s heart broke all over again and she rubbed her hand up and down his back to try and soothe him. “Okay… I won’t go anywhere.”
“Can I speak to Daddy on the phone?”
She nodded, giving him a soft smile. “Of course you can.” Shifting onto her side, she grabbed her cell phone from her pocket and took a deep breath as she selected Nathan’s number from the top of her list of contacts. He answered it on the first ring.
“Hales… Is everything okay? I called before and I thought I heard—”
“We’re fine,” she quickly interrupted, hoping that Nathan wasn’t picking up on the shakiness she could hear in her own voice.
“What’s wrong?”
Haley bit her lip as she tried to work out how to answer his question. “Um…”
“Haley, what’s going on?”
She could hear the fear now in his voice and she felt a tear roll down her cheek. God, she wished he was there right now, holding her and Jamie. “Something happened today but I promise we’re okay…” Swallowing past the lump that had formed in her throat, she continued, “Can… can you come home?”
“I’m already on my way to the airport, baby.” On the other end of the line, Nathan was going crazy as all sorts of scenarios played out in his mind. When he’d called her a short while ago and the call had suddenly disconnected, something hadn’t felt right about it… something he hadn’t been able to put his finger on and after making his excuses to Bobby, he’d rushed out of the arena and managed to flag down a passing taxi. He’d been trying to get hold of Haley ever since but without any success. When he’d called the house as well as his mom’s cell phone and received no answer, his uneasiness had deepened.
“Momma…”
Ruffling Jamie’s hair, she smiled as she spoke into the phone. “I’ve got someone who wants to say hello to you,” she told her husband, handing her cell over to the little boy.
“Daddy?”
Nathan immediately heard the difference in his son’s voice. Before he’d left that morning, his boy had been full of happiness and excitement and now… he sounded so scared. “Hey, buddy? Are you okay?”
“When are you coming home?”
“I’ll be there as soon as I can, I promise. I’m on my way to the airport right now and I’m going to see if I can get an earlier flight so—”
“Nanny Carrie tried to take me away again!” Jamie suddenly blurted out.
“What!?”
“She hurt Momma and Grandpa Dan and she was chasing me and… I was so scared.”
Nathan’s heart was beating double-time and his blood ran cold as he listened to his son’s words and then heard him start to cry. “Jamie… Are you and Mommy okay?”
“Yeah…” he hiccupped. “Nanny Deb saved us.”
He ran a shaky hand through his hair and breathed a deep sigh of relief. God, how could so much have happened in such a short period of time and on a day when he wasn’t there to protect them both. “I’ll be home soon, okay, buddy. Can you give the phone back to Mommy?”
“Uh huh… I love you, Daddy.”
“I love you, too, little man, and I’ll see you very soon.”
“Nathan…” she whispered when Jamie had handed her back the phone. Wrapping her arm around him, she held him just as tightly as he was holding onto her.
“I’m so sorry I wasn’t there, baby,” he told her as soon as he heard her say his name. “You’re really both okay, right?”
“Yes.” She kept the fact that she might be in need of a few stitches to herself, not wanting him to feel even more anxious than he already sounded. “Your mom’s going to drive us to the hospital to get che—”
“The hospital? God, Haley…” he trailed off as his voice grew thick with unshed tears.
“I promise we’re all okay,” she quickly reassured him. “I love you, Nathan.”
“I love you, too, baby… so much. I wish I was there with you both.”
“I know… I wish you were here, too but we’ll see you soon.”
“I’ll call you again once I’ve sorted out an earlier flight.”
“Okay. And, Nathan? Try not to worry.”
“Easier said than done,” Nathan told her. Looking out of the taxi’s window, he was relieved to see the airport coming into view, cursing under his breath at the amount of traffic in front of them. “I’m almost at the airport. Hopefully there’ll be a flight leaving soon that I can get a ticket for. If not, I’m tempted to hire a car and drive back.”
“Don’t do that, baby. I’ll be worrying about you driving for so many hours, especially when I know you’re anxious to get back to us.”
“Haley…”
“Please, Nathan.”
“Okay,” he finally capitulated, although he wasn’t going to make any promises. His scheduled flight back to Tree Hill wasn’t for a good few hours yet and if he couldn’t change his flight to an earlier one, then there was no way he was going to hang around the airport terminal when he could be making good progress by road.
“I’d better go. The sooner Jamie gets checked out, the sooner I can have him home.”
“How is he really?”
Looking down at their baby boy, she saw that he’d thankfully managed to doze off and lowering her voice a little more, she replied, “Petrified. H-He’s finally stopped shaking but that’s only because he’s fallen asleep.”
“Please tell me the police have her this time? Haley?”
“Your, uh… Dan shot her,” she whispered, the sound of the single gunshot still echoing in her ears.
“Good!” Nathan exclaimed. “Is she dead?”
“I don’t know… Once I’d gotten over the shock, I ran to the car to check on Jamie and that’s where we’ve been ever since. Your mom’s with Dan… I… I didn’t want Jamie to see him that way.”
“What way?”
Feeling their boy stirring against her, she said, “Can we talk about it when you get home? I think Jamie’s waking up.”
“Sure. Give him a kiss and a cuddle from me and tell him I’ll see him soon. I’ll kiss you when I see you,” he told her.
Haley couldn’t help smiling at that. “I love you and if you do drive home, drive safely. Okay?”
“Okay,” he said, shaking his head at just how well his wife knew him. “I’ll speak to you again in a little while.”
“Uh huh. Bye, baby.”
“Bye, Hales.”
A few minutes later, the taxi pulled up outside the airport and as soon as Nathan had paid the driver, he jumped out and as he quickly made his way through the terminal, he mentally crossed his fingers that there would be a flight back to North Carolina before his scheduled one. His family needed him and he needed them.
Haley also crossed her fingers that Nathan would be able to catch an earlier flight. She needed to see him so badly and she knew Jamie needed that, too. The sooner they were all back together, the better.
“Haley, honey? Are you ready to go?” Deb asked as she opened the driver’s side door of her car.
“Yes… Nathan’s on his way home… Well, he’s at the airport now trying to get an earlier flight.”
“Let’s hope he can. Uh… Dan’s going to stay here and wait for the police and ambulance.”
“Shouldn’t we wait, too?” Truthfully, Haley wanted to get as far away from this place as possible but it seemed strange to just disappear without talking to the police first.
“We probably should but since we don’t know how long it’ll be before they get here, Dan and I both agreed that we should get you and Jamie checked out at the hospital.”
“Okay,” she mumbled, still not entirely convinced. As gently as she could, she maneuvered Jamie into the car seat that was already strapped into the black SUV.
“Momma?”
“Shh, I’m here, buddy.”
“Is Daddy back yet?”
“No, not yet. He told me to tell you he’ll see you soon and to give you a kiss and a cuddle.” Leaning down, she pressed a soft kiss to his cheek before wrapping him up in her arms. “Nanny Deb’s going to take us to the hospital so they can make sure we’re both okay and then we’ll go home.”
Making sure he was securely strapped in, she nuzzled her nose against his and lightly tickled his tummy. Reaching behind herself, she grabbed her seatbelt and pulled it across and clicked it into place.
“You all set back there?”
Haley met Deb’s eyes in the rear view mirror and gave her a small nod. “Yeah. Let’s go.”
Taking Jamie’s hand in hers, she gave it a little squeeze, not looking behind her once as they started on their journey home.
Fin
Sequel : Better In Time