In Name Only - Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Fifteen
The drive home was made in silence as both Nathan and Haley struggled to make sense of what Deb had done.
One of his hands gripped the steering wheel while the other held his wife’s hand, his thumb stroking back and forth over the back of it in an attempt to offer her some comfort. He could sense the hurt and…betrayal she was feeling and, not for the first time that night, he wished that he had gone to see his mother alone. That way he would have been able to shield Haley from discovering she had been followed and investigated.
Once inside the house, he watched her closely as he tried to come up with something to say to her but she beat him to it.
“I’m gonna go and take a bath and I, uh, think I’ll have an early night.” Her words were quiet and he could easily hear the suppressed tears in her voice.
“Haley, I--”
She gave him a watery smile and said, “I’m okay… I just need some sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.”
Nathan watched her begin to climb the stairs and again, he tried to think of something to say but he came up empty. The only thing he kept coming up with was to ask if she was hungry, but he knew she wouldn’t have an appetite so he refrained from asking the question. He just hoped that she would come and talk to him when she was ready. Heading into the kitchen, he grabbed a bag of potato chips from one of the cupboards before getting a beer out of the fridge and then making his way into the living room. Flicking on the TV, he settled down on the couch and found a basketball game playing on ESPN. His mind couldn’t focus on it though as all he could see before his eyes was Haley’s tearstained face after having heard what his mother had done.
* * * * *
Instead of taking a bath, Haley decided on taking a shower knowing that she could cry without fear of Nathan hearing her due to the sound of the powerful water spray drowning her out.
Despite the heat of the water, she still shivered and knew it was a direct consequence of the words she had heard fall from Deb’s lips. She couldn’t believe that the other woman distrusted her that much that she would have hired an investigator to look into her background. While she could understand her having her son’s best interests at heart, it still hurt that a woman she regarded somewhat of a friend could do that to her.
Finally getting out of the shower, she snagged the towel off of the heating bar and wrapped it around herself. After wiping away the steam from the mirror, she saw her reflection but she looked right through it; instead seeing the angry, twisted scowl on Deb’s face as she angrily confessed to what she had done and showing no regret or remorse for it.
Haley squeezed her eyes shut, determined not to cry again and let the other woman have the satisfaction of knowing how much she had hurt her. She splashed her face with some cold water and after making sure her towel was nice and secure, she opened the door to the bathroom and made her way to her bedroom.
Quickly drying off and slipping into a pair of pale blue sleep shorts and an oversized T-shirt, she pulled back the covers on her bed and climbed in, hugging one of the extra pillows to her chest. Lying there in the dark, her mind replayed what had happened just a short while ago and once again, she felt her eyes fill with tears. She bit her lip and hoped that sleep would come soon so she could forget everything…just for a little while.
* * * * *
Just after midnight, Nathan was lying in bed propped up against his pillows, the covers pooled at his waist while he read over some papers that had been faxed over to him earlier that day. He just happened to glance up and he saw Haley standing in the doorway and he felt a sharp stab in his chest as he took in the sad look on her face.
“Hey,” he said quietly, breaking the silence. “Can’t sleep, huh?”
Haley shook her head. “No.” She shifted from foot to foot before whispering, “Um…do you think I could, uh, sleep in here…with you? I-I don’t want to be by myself.”
“Of course you can,” he told her without a moment’s hesitation. After placing his file on the nightstand, he pulled the covers back in invitation and he watched her come towards him.
Just before she climbed in, she asked, “I’m not disturbing you or anything, am I? I noticed you were reading and…”
“It’s nothing that can’t wait until morning,” he told her, giving her a smile. “How are you feeling?”
Getting into bed, she snuggled down and turned onto her side so she was facing him. “I’m okay… I was hoping I could go to sleep and forget everything but I’ve just been lying there with it all going around and around in my head.” She paused for a moment before continuing.
“I-I can’t believe she had me investigated, particularly as we’d only gone on one date before she did it. Maybe I could understand it if she’d done it after we’d told her we were married.”
Nathan shook his head. “Even if that had been the case, it would’ve still been wrong. She had no right to do that and I don’t think I can forgive her for it.”
She placed her hand on his forearm. “Nathan, she’s your mom and…she probably thought she was doing the right thing.”
Reaching over to the nightstand, he switched off the lamp and then shifted down so he too was lying on his side facing her. He rested his head in his hand while the fingers of his other one intertwined with hers. “You always try to see the good in everyone.”
“I can’t help it,” she said shyly before adding, “I know what she did was wrong and I’m not trying to justify it, but--”
“There is no justification for what she did. You know, I thought now that I was an adult she wouldn’t be able to get to me anymore, but I was wrong.”
Haley’s hand came up to gently caress his face. “Nathan…” Her voice trailed off as she tried to think of something to say but nothing came to mind. His parents had really done a number on him and it was a wonder he’d turned into the man she had come to know.
“It’s okay.” He forced himself to smile at her and he had a feeling it looked as fake as it felt. “Hey, can I ask you a question?”
“Of course you can. What is it?”
“Uh, one of the photos in...the file my mom showed me…”
“Yeah?” she prompted a moment later when he still hadn’t voiced his question.
“It showed you walking into Temptation but you’d already quit working there by the time my mom knew about our first date so…”
“You wanna know what I was doing back there?”
Nathan nodded. “Yeah.”
Smiling at him, she replied, “I was picking up my final pay check. When I handed in my resignation they hadn’t yet sorted it out and they asked me to come back. What with one thing and another I didn’t get around to going back for a few days and by that time Deb’s investigator must’ve already been following me. It shows how observant I am, huh, that I didn’t notice some guy tailing me.”
“I’m sure she hired the best company she could find so don’t even think that,” he told her, his fingers finding hers again and squeezing them gently.
Their eyes locked for a long moment before Haley felt her face grow hot and she knew she was blushing…as per usual. Glancing into his face again a few seconds later, she couldn’t fail to notice how his eyes had suddenly darkened and she felt a shiver run through her.
“You okay?” he whispered, having felt her body tremble against his. He didn’t know if she was aware of the fact that her toes were running up and down his calf but he wasn’t going to say anything in case she stopped doing it.
“I’m fine,” she whispered back and she watched his lips curve upwards into the smirk she had come to know and love.
“Yeah…you sure are.”
She giggled. “Nathannnn.” She went to playfully punch his shoulder but he caught her fist in his hand and used it to pull her even closer to his body before he shifted so he was lying on top of her.
His head seemed to move almost in slow motion but when his lips finally met hers, they both released a sigh of relief which was also tinged with the pleasure they instantly felt.
Haley parted her lips wider, accepting his questing tongue into her mouth and feeling it glide along hers while her arms slid up and around his neck. She could feel the heat from his bare chest through the thin fabric of her sleep shirt and a part of her wanted it gone so that she could feel his skin against hers with no barriers. One of her hands cupped the back of his head while the other roamed up and down his back and she couldn’t help but love the feel of his strong muscles sliding around beneath his soft skin.
Breaking the kiss several moments later, Nathan buried his face in the nook between her neck and shoulder and breathed in the scent of her skin as well as that from her hair, a few strands of which were tickling his face. He sucked in a lungful of air as he fought to get his breathing under control, but the feel of her delicate fingers stroking up and down his back wasn’t helping matters. In that moment, he’d give anything to strip her shirt and shorts off of her and show her just how much he wanted her but he knew he couldn’t…not yet, and definitely not tonight. Not after what his mother had revealed to them. He would be taking advantage of her and that was the last thing he wanted to do.
“Nathan? Are you okay?”
Her voice broke into his thoughts and pushing himself up onto his forearms, he gazed down into her face and gave her what he hoped was a reassuring smile. “Yeah, I’m fine.” He made to move off of her but she shook her head.
“Don’t…don’t go,” Haley whispered shyly.
Moving onto his side, he cupped her cheek. “I’m not going anywhere,” He paused for a few seconds before adding, “It’s been a long night so maybe we should get some sleep, huh?”
“I-If that’s what you want.” For some reason, she suddenly felt the need to cry and she turned her head away, so he couldn’t see her eyes.
Nathan sensed a change in her and couldn’t fail to notice her turning away from him. “Hales, what’s wrong?”
Turning onto her side so her back was to him, she shook her head. “N-Nothing… I’m gonna go to sleep now.”
“Hey, c’mere.” Wrapping an arm around her waist, he pulled her back towards him so her back was pressed against his front and leaning forward, he rested his head on her shoulder. His fingers slipped under her shirt and he lightly caressed the soft, downy skin of her stomach.
Haley closed her eyes as she felt his fingers touching her bare skin and she tried to suppress the tremor that ran through her body without success. She held her breath as she silently willed him to slide his hand higher even though she knew he wouldn’t. While she liked the fact he wanted to take things slowly, another part of her was desperate to take things further…to finally experience more than just a hot and heavy make-out session with him but she didn’t know how to vocalise her wishes. She knew her age was most likely a factor in his reluctance and while, yeah, she was pretty innocent in certain things, especially in comparison to his other…conquests, she wasn’t a child and didn’t want to be treated as such.
Shifting her body further against his, she immediately became aware of a certain part of his anatomy pressing into her and she bit her lip to stop herself from moaning. The fact that she had that effect on him gave her a warm feeling deep inside and she couldn’t help but push back against him.
Squeezing his eyes shut, Nathan tried as best he could to calm himself down but Haley’s movements weren’t exactly helping the situation. His hand splayed on her stomach and he couldn’t resist sliding it upwards, stopping when he came into contact with the underside of her breasts.
“Nathan…” she murmured, her head falling back a little which meant the side of her face now rested alongside his. When his hand hadn’t moved from its position a few minutes later, she placed her hand on top of it and moved it so he was now cupping her breast.
“Haley, I…”
“Please,” she said interrupting whatever he had been about to say. Turning her head to the side so she could look at him better, she smiled. “Please.”
Rolling her onto her back, his body covered hers and he looked deep into her eyes for a long moment, making sure this was what she wanted and when he was satisfied that it was, his lips captured hers in a long and deeply intense kiss.
Nathan’s hands wandered all over her upper body beneath her shirt and he marvelled at the soft, silky skin he was touching. He smiled against her mouth when she moaned after he had tugged on her erect nipples, so he repeated the action. He kissed a path from her lips down to her throat and lower still to her neck whereupon he sucked a patch of skin into his mouth, determined to make the mark he had already created on her skin from an earlier make-out session even more pronounced.
For her part, Haley’s fingers threaded through his thick hair before one hand moved lower and stroked up and down his back before reaching the waistband of his boxers. She let her fingers graze just underneath but she was too nervous to do anything more than that and it was in that split-second that she realised she still wasn’t ready to completely be with him.
Having literally felt her withdraw from him, Nathan pushed himself up onto his forearms and looked down into her face, noticing the way her teeth were biting her bottom lip. “Hales?”
“I’m sorry…I-I can’t…” She glanced away from him, not wanting to see the disappointment in his eyes.
“Hey, it’s okay.” Cupping her cheek, he directed her gaze back at him and he gave her a reassuring smile. “You probably won’t believe me, but I wasn’t going to let us go all the way tonight. I figured I’d be taking advantage of you after what happened at my mom’s place.”
Forcing herself to keep looking into his eyes, she knew he was telling the truth. “You wouldn’t have been taking advantage of me, Nathan.”
“Maybe not but it would’ve felt like it. When it happens, I want it to be something that you’re completely ready for… Heck, something I’m completely ready for.”
Tilting her head to one side, Haley regarded him curiously. “What do you mean? You know, about you being ready, too.”
He took a deep breath before speaking. “My relationship with you is…it’s different to anything I’ve had before. I told you when we first met that I’d never intended on getting married and I meant that. The women I’ve associated with in the past were definitely not marriage material and that’s the reason I was with them. But from the moment I met you… I don’t know, something just clicked and…”
“And what?” she whispered.
“And it felt right,” he confessed. “I usually keep things so private and I don’t give much of myself away but with you…I like having you know about me, about my life. I never feel like you’re judging me or that you think less of me.”
“That’s because I don’t, Nathan. When I first moved here and your mom and Brooke would be telling me stories about you, for some strange reason I never took any notice of them, except that I remember thinking it was weird that your own mother and your cousin-in-law would be telling a total stranger these negative things about you.”
He smiled at her. “I remember you saying that not long after we met.” Lowering his head, he nuzzled his nose against hers before kissing her lips softly. “How about we try and get some sleep?”
Bringing her hand up, Haley trailed her fingers along his cheek. “Okay. Uh, are you sure you don’t mind about us not…you know? ‘Cos I could go back and sleep in my room if yo--”
“I’m positive, Hales,” he said interrupting her. “We’ve got all the time in the world and it’ll be nice to just get to know each other more than we already do. This thing between us… I just don’t want to spoil it.”
Smiling back at him, she said, “Me either.”
“Good.” After one more kiss, Nathan rolled onto his back and wrapping an arm around her, he pulled her in closer to his body so that her head rested on his shoulder. The feel of her fingers tracing patterns on his bare chest was lulling him to sleep and tilting his head to the side, he rested it against hers.
“Nathan?”
“Hmm?”
“What do you think your mom might do next?”
His arm, which was still wrapped around her, pulled her in tighter and he squeezed her gently. “Let’s talk about it tomorrow, okay? Just try and forget what happened tonight and get some sleep. I don’t want to give her the satisfaction of us losing sleep over her.”
Kissing his jaw, Haley snuggled into him again and she let the thumping beat of his heart beneath her hand coax her to sleep, doing her best to do what Nathan had suggested and forget what Deb had done, at least until tomorrow.
* * * * *
Nathan was the first to awaken and checking the alarm clock on his nightstand, he was surprised to see that it was almost eleven. Although given their late night, maybe it wasn’t that surprising.
Glancing down, he saw that sometime during the night Haley had shifted slightly and that instead of her head resting on his shoulder, it was now on his chest. His fingers brushed the hair out of her face and his smile grew wider when she burrowed further into him. The last thing he wanted to do was wake her up but he knew she must be starving since she hadn’t eaten anything since yesterday afternoon.
As carefully as he could, Nathan managed to slide out from underneath her without waking her up and after throwing on a T-shirt, he went into his adjacent bathroom to use the facilities. A few minutes later, he was downstairs preparing a breakfast tray for the both of them so that they could eat together before they had to deal with the issue of his mother.
Entering his bedroom a short while later, he saw that his bed was empty and he frowned until he saw that the door to his bathroom was closed and he could hear the sounds of running water. Placing the tray on his dresser, he waited for her to come out which she did not long after.
“Morning,” he said, smiling at her and taking in her tousled hair which, he noticed, made her look very sexy. “Did you sleep okay?”
“Uh huh. You make a really comfy pillow,” Haley teased. “Where did you disappear to?”
Picking up the tray, he showed her what he had prepared. “I made us breakfast. I figured you’d be hungry considering you didn’t have any dinner last night. Hop back into bed and we can get started.”
Haley’s heart melted at his kind gesture and she returned his smile. Getting back into bed, she sat up against the headboard, her pillows propping her up and she took the tray off of him as he took a seat on the bed and faced her.
“This looks great,” she told him before popping a strawberry into her mouth. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. I guess it’s also my way of apologising to you.”
“Apologising for what?”
Swallowing his sip of orange juice, he replied, “I shouldn’t have taken you with me last night. I-I knew she wouldn’t take it well but…”
Placing her hand over his, she lightly squeezed it. “You have nothing to apologise for, Nathan. And anyway, she told you about having me investigated before you even mentioned us having gotten married.”
“Yeah, I know but I still feel awful about it.”
“Well don’t because it’s not your fault.”
Nathan shook his head. “How can you say that? If it wasn’t for me you wouldn’t be involved in all of this and--”
“And we’d never have met,” she pointed out. Her hand moved up to his face and cupped his cheek and she smiled when he leaned into her touch. “As weird as our situation is, I wouldn’t change a thing because…” She trailed off, feeling self-conscious at what she wanted to reveal to him even though she had a strong sense that he felt the same.
“Because what?”
“Because meeting you has been the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” Her eyes flicked between his and the comforter as she waited to hear his response.
Nathan’s hand covered hers which was still on his face and interlacing their fingers, he rubbed his thumb back and forth across the back of her hand. “The same goes for me, Hales.” Leaning forward, he kissed her mouth softly before retreating a moment later. “I just hate that I’m dragging you into this mess with my mom.”
“Hey, I knew what I was getting into when I signed up to help you and, okay, maybe I wasn’t exactly expecting this kind of reaction from her, but I knew it wasn’t going to be easy.”
“I wasn’t expecting her to freak out so much either about the two of us being together,” he told her.
Haley paused briefly before speaking again. “I know we still have lots to learn about each other and stuff, but there’s something I need to say.”
Nodding, he said, “Okay, what is it?”
“I need you to understand that I can take care of myself. I love that you want to protect me and stuff, but…”
“But you don’t need me to speak up for you?” he guessed.
Yeah,” she replied quietly. “Tonight pretty much left me speechless but once you get to know me better, you’ll see just how feisty I can be. Growing up the youngest in my family you needed to be that way.”
Kissing her lips once more, he leaned his forehead against hers and smirked. “I’ll look forward to seeing your feistier side.”
Haley blushed but she didn’t pull away from him. “Don’t worry, I’m sure it’ll surface before too long.
They finished their breakfast while chatting about this and that, making sure to avoid a certain topic until they felt better prepared for it.
A long while later, after having both gotten showered and dressed, they were sitting in the living room at different ends of the couch sipping their coffees while reading different sections of the newspaper. Haley’s feet were in Nathan’s lap and one of his hands was absentmindedly rubbing them in turn while he read the sports pages.
The ringing of the doorbell broke the silence and they both looked at each other. Seeing the nervousness on his wife’s face, Nathan knew just who it was she thought might be at the door. Giving her a smile, he squeezed her foot lightly before raising her legs up and getting up from his seat.
“I’ll get it,” he told her, bending down to press a kiss to the top of her head.
Opening the front door, he saw an unfamiliar older couple standing on the doorstep and, smiling at them politely, he greeted them and asked, “Can I help you?”
Neither of them returned his smile and it was the woman who spoke first. “We’re looking for Haley James. We understand this is her new address and--”
Nathan wondered why the woman had stopped talking and looking behind him, he saw Haley standing there with a shocked expression written all over her face.
“Mom... Dad…”
In that second, Nathan knew just how much further his own mother had gone.