Scene 9.16 - Resolutions
EST: INT. Sick Bay, U.S.S.S. Enrapture
(SICKLE and CLARK enter from the glowing obelisk while LILY waits.)
LILY
What happened sir? You only left a moment ago...
CLARK
We were successful.
SICKLE
Something's happening.
MS: VERNE
(The room morphs slightly. CLARK and LILY disappear and DOCTOR GEORGE and ADMIRAL JEREMY replace them. They are all huddled over an unconscious COMMODORE ZALE. SICKLE is prepped for surgery. JEREMY and GEORGE are also masked and gloved and are attending. A hailing whistle sounds.)
GEORGE
Julie?
SICKLE
Strange, I just had a strange chill... like a fleeting thought, not exactly a deja' vu...
(RONNIE pats SICKLE'S sweaty brow with a gloved hand and gauze.)
GEORGE
Hmmm. I've never seen you sweat during surgery.
SICKLE
Not like this, I suppose... Does everything seem all right to you, Doc?
GEORGE
Looks like you're doing fine.
SICKLE
No, I mean... never mind.
(The hailing whistle blows.)
SICKLE (Cont'd)
What is it?
(On a small monitor on the wall of the sickbay, a pointy-eared CLARK appears, bearing good tidings, having no recollection of the alternate reality that he had helped correct.)
CLARK
Captain, we have brought aboard the last of the crew of the Archemedes and we are prepared to leave the sector.
SICKLE
Oh yeah? What of that pesky ion storm that has us all pinned down? She gone?
CLARK
Departed as quickly as she arrived, Captain. It seems the ship is out of danger, for now.
SICKLE
Then let's skidaddle. Plot a course to Halceron. I should be up there soon enough.
CLARK
(COMMODORE ZALE'S pink dog leaps upon the lap of CLARK and licks at his face. He pets the dog and grimaces a little, trying to keep in good humor about it. The dog sends out a few playful yips.) Very well, sir. Clark out.
JEREMY
She's holding stable, Doctor, but is still not responding to the stage one treatment.
SICKLE
No? Gotta be something else... You say she collapsed during her magic act?
GEORGE
Yes. We came straight here with her. It appears to be from a seizure. I didn't witness it.
SICKLE
Hmmmm. She hasn't responded to any of the traditional methods. I may have to risk a little... dream therapy.
GEORGE
I'll start her up...
JEREMY
Dream therapy? Dr. Sickle?
SICKLE
A special use of the quantum prism, Admiral. Though I'm not well-versed on quantum physics, I've seen this particular equation do wonders beyond belief. Perhaps Admiral, you may want to incorporate it into your own procedure; once you see how well it works.
JEREMY
Just how does it work, Doctor? Is this the infamous equation that's made you notorious?
(The room goes red. GEORGE returns.)
SICKLE
The very one. Command calls it unethical just because it doesn't seem to work for them.
JEREMY
You mean towards... evil ends.
SICKLE
Call it what you want. Butterflies, not bombs. It's the way it works.
GEORGE
Scale perameters are set; you're all set to go, Julie.
SICKLE
Thank you, Doctor George. What this red equation does, Doctor Jeremy, is three-fold. One, it narrows down all possible outcomes of any particular dilemma to only the best outcome, or the worst. The second thing it does is makes the worst outcome better and lastly, it makes the best outcome a reality if it is something that can actually be realized.
GEORGE
Like our kiss earlier...
JEREMY
But that was natural. You didn't have to force me to kiss you.
SICKLE
Sponge. That's the beauty of it. Scalpel. I allows an artificial and contrived conclusion to appear natural by allowing nature to conform to it -- like a stream following a channel or the turning of a windmill. But you can't abuse its power. Many, many have tried. Clamps.
JEREMY
I'm afraid you've lost me.
SICKLE
It's all good. I'm taking all the garbage in this girl's brain and turning it into productive tissue. If she wakes up from this, she'll be sane, happy and fully healthy. Finishing now.
JEREMY
Not fully healthy. She has a terminal case of-
SICKLE
Not anymore. I tell you, it's a cure-all. If you can believe it can happen, it can happen.
JEREMY
(Looks at the electroencephalograph.) Hmmm. Whatever you're doing, it's working.
SICKLE
I'm giving her something to dream about while I convince her that she's going to be fine.
GEORGE
Is she?
JEREMY
It appears so.
SICKLE
I know so, and that's how this works. I'll have to show you how this works later.
JEREMY
Please, I'd love to learn this technique.
GEORGE
You could give me a few pointers too, while you're at it. You make it look so easy.
SICKLE
In a way, it really is easy. All done. Close her up.
JEREMY
Magnificent.
GEORGE
Computer, end pi over zero and defabricate the red equation.
COMPUTER V.O.
(Lights return to normal.) Dream Therapy Complete.
JEREMY
No trace of the-! You cured her! How did you do that?
SICKLE
It only seems like magic at first. I'll teach it to you.
JEREMY
Think she's going to be okay?
GEORGE
I suppose you could ask her yourself, she's coming 'round.
ZALE
(Small guaze bandage taped on top of forehead, less than a scratch and a butterfly stitch.) Where am I? What's happened?
JEREMY
Something wonderful, Leah, something absolutely wonderful!
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. Warship Eliza, November 1, 9969
(The GUARDIAN OF INFINITY is floating in space; we see stars and what-not moving with incredible speed, all moving away. The crew is in the "Bad Starfleet" attire, belly-button rings, sashes and all. No collars or talking dogs, tho, as The Universe has been marginally righted... Is that a human-eared CLARKE sporting a familiar goat-tee? The GUARDIAN throbs with a rythmic glowing as it addresses the craft from the nearby sea of space.)
GUARDIAN
(On screen:) Time has resumed its shape; all is mostly as it was before.
RAMONA
Mostly?
GUARDIAN
Everyone is reassimilated, your breeding problem has been solved, the Board are locked away into Oblivion and I've put your Universe back the way it was as much as Zero could remember it to be -- I did all the dirty work. If anything, it's better than how I found it.
AZALEA
Everything seems back to normal to me. All that interdimensional mental garbage seems just like a passing thought, like a forgotton acid-trip or something.
(Ad libs from all. True that! She's right! Absolutely!)
GUARDIAN
Yo, it's how I roll.
POPPY
What about you, Guardian? You gonna 'roll' with us?
GUARDIAN
Nah, I gotta hit the cave and cast some seemly shadows... wah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!
VERNE
(Superslow, googly, almost-frightened wide eyes looking sideways:) Okay...
GUARDIAN
I gotta blind date with a cosmic snowglobe. She's in-between dimensions and boyfriends. I met her online on star-crossed-lovers-dot-com. Maybe gonna bring'er flowers. (Beat.) Maybe not... Think that's too much?
VERNE
Probably.
IRIS
Hey dude, you sure everything is really back to the way it was before? I don't seem to ever remember these uniforms being so skimpy. I mean, mini-skirts? You sure this is the way it was? How's this story go again? Are we love-slaves or something?
ROSE
(Aside) Better have some money on this yacht, know what I'm sayin'?
LOTUS
(Aside) No doubt!
GUARDIAN
...Ah, kinda-sorta. Zero decided not to dominate The Universe under his unyeilding will, and instead chose to resume life in a droll-and-imperfect corporal form. Perhaps he may have taken some creative license when shaping your destiny. Men are quite imperfect.
DAISY
Hmmm, my teeth seem like they're all straight. That's a change for the better.
LILY
Huh. (Sweeps her little medical scanner thingy across her ample cleavage.) I weigh seven pounds less than before and I'm a C-cup now. Seems my destiny got shaped pretty good.
VERNE
What more could anyone ask for? (Charismatic as a Kennedy:) I'm rich, endeared, perfectly sane and everyone is exactly the way they've always really wanted to be. (Bong rip.) Say... (Clears it.) What about... (Exhale.) Them continuum folks with no continuity? The crazy ones that didn't make the final cut... You know, the "baddies" we threw out?
FX: CG Morph
(The obelisk becomes a silver image representing JYNX, NANCY, ROMEO and CANDY -- all on a hubless wheel. ROMEO at three, NANCY at six, CANDY at nine and JYNX at midnight. All are dead, yet speaketh. Spokes emanate from various sections and fall into the blackened center -- toward blackness. The spokes of light slowly twinkle as they fall away.)
JYNX
(Toking greatly.) Baddies? In the collective continuum, I remain unaffected, impartial, omnipotent and extremely curious on exactly where you think you are going with this... human-experiment thing you have kept going all up in here on a lark or something...
VERNE
You talk too much. You also sound like me a bit more than you should. (Tokes.) I'll consider it flattery that at least some trace of my impeccable character has somehow rubbed off on even the likes of you, Professor Genaistenex. Find sanity in your solace, bro -- it's your only hope.
JYNX
Laterz, Cleo. Later hawnyocks.
VERNE
Peace out, Hugo.
JYNX
Et tu, Julian Oberon Nighthorse Epsilon Sickle.
VERNE
Nice to know that finally someone's got it right. Verne. Vern Jones. Vaj. Whose turn?
NANCY
Mine. And all-y'alls' mental Dutch-Rudders aside, if there's anyone who could understand my importance in the Universe, I thought it would be you, Zero. You have all I have to offer. I can't believe- only a lunatic would write-off my assets.
VERNE
It's that I can't really ever know you, Nancy. We're from different centuries, completely different lives -- I'll dream with you -- won't that be enough?
NANCY
Apparently, it's going to have to be. I'll be closer to you than you think, Zero. It's inevitable; a matter of true fidelity. I'll be inside your head, and you'll be inside my-
VERNE
As for you, Candy, in my dreams, you've always been nobody to somebody; and now you're somebody to a whole bunch of nobodies.
CANDY
Yes! You have made it so: You've left our minds to explore freely. Large and in charge.
ROMEO
That's only partially true. He's got something on us, he can always flip the switch.
JYNX
It has never been anything different, despite what anyone disbelieves. We are part of everything, always. Dead, alive, a whisper in the wind: I always make the cut. We'll be back again someday, Cleo.
VERNE
Hmmm... (Pause. Clears. Another pause.) Well, I've certainly learned something here. I may not really know exactly what, but I feel like I've picked up something along the way...
(He checks the bottom of his boot. All clear.)
NANCY
Perhaps you've learned that absolute power doesn't corrupt absolutely; you've proven to be quite an exception, Zero.
CANDY
You've given our collective mind much to consider; we will observe and continue to reflect on what transpires here. You may not see us, but you'll know we're only a dream away.
JYNX
You had it all, Zero, you had the brass ring...
VERNE
(Shares.) I still do, Professor -- I always will. Farewell, spirits -- until we meet again.
FX: The wheel spins away.
(Pause.)
AZALEA
(Clears, scratches scar, oddly resets the pipe. The bowl repacks itself with green bud.) Hmmmm..... That was totally weird.
VERNE
A shared opinion, yet irrelevant, Madam. Beings, experiences as this; it's why we're here. Aliens, phantasms, ghouls, cosmic guardian angels- Our purpose isn't to judge, but to live.
LILY
(Hits deeply. Ponders.) Our lives, this reality -- is this all really only some chaotic dream?
VERNE
(Clears, resets, passes.) That and much, much more, Lily.
RAMONA
Truly, Sir? (Takes a mega rip. Thinks about it.) Us? Today? Life? All from forgotten and recurring thoughts of a collective oneness of spirit? It seems too fantastic; like a dream-
VERNE
(Mondo rip.) Life is a dream, Mona -- we learned that in nursery school; no philosopher has ever said differently.
CLARKE
(Puff.) Yet, you remain our captain, and we remain in this... slumber-of-sorts. Surely, when offered limitless power, you chose the love of a crew over the love for tyranny...
SIMAK
(Bowl-cashing green hit. Beats chest while holding in.) Aye. And for that, we thank ye. You chose to be a servant in the Lord's heaven rather than a master of your own hell, now.
VERNE
If I was meant to be King Of The Universe, Mister Simak, I would have been born with bells for balls. (Hits magic button and blazes a furry Angorian Blue-Tooth blunt.) I'm content with living the illusion of mortality. (Aside.) I'm aware of my station, Smokey. I don't try to second-guess The Almighty; I figure if he's got the past and present worked out for me, I'll keep trusting him with my future. Come, ladies. Carry on, gentlemen...
(Verile VERNE exits with his concubines to retire for the evening. The women appear happy. The men go back to passing the phat blunt VERNE abandoned for the male crew members' enjoyment.)
MUSICAL END NOTES
SOUND: SWISH
FTB
RUN END CREDITS VOLUME TWO CHAPTER NINE