Scene 2.04 - The Rendezvous
EST: EXT. Planetary Platform, Docking Bay 69 - Night.
ELS: Arial, Prison Complex and surrounding area
VERNE V.O.
Captain's Personal Log, I-D key, Bova One. We've learned that our captors are not mere replicants after all, but instead another replicated crew of men from a parallel universe, who have somehow used room technology to loop themselves in time to attempt to fix a paradox that they created during quantum experimentation. This is but the latest in twists and turns to what I once thought was an easily-explainable phenomena. I feel that if this mental Marathon from our captors does not cease, I will have no other choice but to construct a black room and be done with the whole matter entirely. (We hear him inhale smoke.) Literally and figuratively. (We hear him exhale smoke.) The conscious minds of the other crew have seemingly evolved past our own and it's apparent they have been working on solving their paradox for quite some time; possibly approaching a billion years. (Camera pans through shadows.) For some reason, we have been kept in the dark about the true nature of our paradox that supposedly makes travel outside of this star system impossible. We have been freed by our captors to fulfill a destiny; a carefully-planned course designed to produce an unpredictable result. (We see VERNE’S furtive, creeping, hunched over, distorted shadow.) What their motives are or why we are the key to solving their paradox is unknown. I have determined that dispatching a message to Washington, to apprise them of our situation, is the best course of action. (He hits joint, talks to himself in the shadows, is about to extinguish the joint with his foot, thinks better of it, picks it up and puts it out on his tongue. He eats it.) I have sent my crew to hijack our vessels, while I have left my cell to create a diversion by looking for Azalea One, a possible key to knowing more about this place, and also a person who might help me avoid putting my ship and crew in furthur jeopardy.
(VERNE taps the crest on his chest and turns off the voice recorder and crosses the planetary platform, Tellusia and another moon are on the horizon. He sees activity in the terminal and goes to a plain, warehouse window, and sees the entire male crew sitting around a table, apparently playing poker. He ventures onward.)
VERNE 1
Oh look, you've got two jacks. You've almost got a fizbin.
HEINLEIN 1
Is that good?
VERNE 1
Oh that's good, that's good.
ASIMOV 1
Vaht about my hand, Kiptin?
VERNE 1
Well, you've got a small straight, but unless you get a queen when its raining, that hand will never play.
CLARKE 1
Straight flush.
VERNE 1
Very good, Mr. Clarke, very good. That means you get three more cards and four more chances at getting a fizbin.
WELLS 1
Well, what do I need?
VERNE 1
Well, you have a six and a nine. If you were to get a red four on Tuesday, I could deal you another two cards.
(VERNE sees AZALEA 1, with braids, shadow-dancing in an adjacent room. He enters.)
AZALEA 1
(Surprised:) You! Zero? I thought you were gone! You're here! But it's been so long! I must be dreaming. I believed, all this time. Possibly you would find a way to- No, it can't be you. They're playing tricks on me, to be cruel. They wouldn't, but here you are. I see you. (Pause.) No, it must be me. This isn’t r- real. I'm imagining all this. (Immediately frightened:) I’m going mad!
(AZALEA goes to tears. Ref: Mariette Hartley, Star Trek: All Our Yesterdays.)
VERNE
(Embraces her:) No, I'm here and as real as ever. It's me, Zero. I'm not one to make promises I can't keep, Azalea.
AZALEA 1
(Embraces him more tightly, repeatedly kisses him :) Oh- I’ve been here for so long, alone... You've come back. Oh, I knew you were a good man. Take me.
VERNE
Where?
AZALEA 1
Away from this place. To your ship. You can take me far, far away where they'll never find us. I know how to hide; I know all the secret places. I can hide really well.
VERNE
What about the other women?
AZALEA 1
No! They're all insane. They don't talk with me anymore. None of them do. They think that living like this, they think that it's a paradise.
VERNE
Living like how?
AZALEA 1
Oh, there is so much that you do not know, Zero. It's been like this for eons. Countless years upon years and not a moment has really ever passed. We must leave this place. I can't stay here. Let's go, now, before they find us!
VERNE
Very well. Where is the other Azalea? The corpse?
AZALEA 1
That's not important-
VERNE
Where?
AZALEA 1
On your subspacecraft. I moved her, to The Archimedes. Your other women are safe aboard The Eliza. Take me! Don't leave me, Zero!
VERNE
Yes. We'll take The Archimedes. It travels through subspace. They won't find us. Azalea, I-
AZALEA 1
What?
VERNE
Let's go.
CROSSFADE TO: Warship Eliza, docked in port.
SIMAK
Aye, there she is. And look, they've mostly-repaired the ol' Mental Floss for us.
CLARKE
We should get aboard The Eliza, gentlemen.
WELLS
What about the captain?
CLARKE
Out in the open, exposed to the elements, we can do little good for Captain Verne from outside the ship.
HEINLEIN
I agree, we can get the ship's orange room activated and find him then.
ASIMOV
Itz stwange hewdey simmed tejist littus golick deydid.
SIMAK
Aye, and why were they so adamant about us not taking The Eliza?
WELLS
They know we can truly escape with The Eliza. Another scare tactic. They're trying to fool us again.
SIMAK
Aye, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice... well, we won't get fooled again!
WELLS
I'm not buying all that talk about time travel. I'd sooner believe that they were aliens than believe they've crossed the time barrier. Time travel is technologically impossible. They're lying to us again, alright. And they know we know they’re lying.
ASIMOV
(He rubs his temples.) Mee head.
HEINLEIN
There's something on our ship that they don't want us to see. And once we got the orange room, we’ll see it.
CLARKE
Mr. Simak, how long until we are able to unlock-
(The ship's main hatch opens.)
SIMAK
What’s that, Mr Clarke? Aye, I know this ship and she knows me. She knows when Daddy’s come home.
CLARKE
I suggest we get aboard, gentlemen. The sooner we are in space, the faster we can locate the women and the captain.
ASIMOV
Sir! Look!
(The prison complex rapidly ages hundreds, then thousands, then millions of years. It eventually becomes dust and collapses; light from laser blasts from when CLARKE before had tested the blasters, is seen eminating in slow-motion.)
CLARKE
Fascinating. Once we left the prison facility, it was no longer shielded from effects of the time-loop constructed by the other crew. In a few brief moments, we have literally watched it decay from millions of years of neglect.
WELLS
Let's get out of here before anything else decides to start getting old.
SIMAK
Aye. Mr. Asimov, watch our backs and keep an eye out for the captain. When you hear the thrusters warming up, get aboard. We don't want to have to leave anyone here longer than they need to be.
ASIMOV
Aye sear.
HEINLEIN
Mr. Clarke, The Mental Floss, The Archimedes- should we tow one of them with us?
CLARKE
No, Mr. Heinlein. The captain may need a ship to join us. Let us be sure to leave him with as many options as possible.
CROSSFADE TO:EXT. Docking Bay 42
(AZALEA 1 stops VERNE just before they enter the open hangar of the Docking Bay 42.)
AZALEA 1
Quick, listen. I can wait inside. I’ve waited this long. I know I will find you. I won’t look back. You will find me. All you have to do is kiss me and-
VERNE
Azalea-
AZALEA 1
Promise you will kiss me! (VERNE starts to kiss her, she stops him.) No, Zero! Promise me! Promise you will kiss me! I will wait for you! I can wait a very long time. We’ll be together!
VERNE
Okay I promise, but I don’t understand-
AZALEA 1
You don’t need to. I love you.
VERNE
I love you, too.
AZALEA 1
It’s the only way-
VERNE
I’ll kiss you. Right now, if you would like-
AZALEA 1
(Starts to cry.) Kiss me when I’m not there and you really need me.
VERNE
I love you and I need you now.
(VERNE kisses AZALEA 1. VERNE 1 enters from hangar.)
AZALEA 1 V.O.
(Echo chamber while kissing, her thoughts:) No matter how long it seems, I won’t give up. I’ll wait for you, Zero.
VERNE 1
Mr. Verne-
(VERNE doesn’t stop. VERNE 1 clears his throat, AZALEA 1 slowly pulls away.)
VERNE 1 (Cont’d)
Azalea.
VERNE
Hey! Now didn't we already have a talk about your poor sense of timing?
AZALEA 1
I’ve got to go soon. Listen to what he says. (To VERNE 1:) It’s been a very long time. You promised you would visit me.
VERNE 1
I lied. Come with us, Zero.
(They walk into the hangar bay.)
VERNE
The Eliza!
VERNE 1
Our Eliza. Our original Eliza. Let’s go inside. Mind you, don’t touch anything.
(They walk to go inside the ship.)
CROSSFADE TO:INT. Damaged Eliza in docking bay 69.
(ASIMOV runs up to the group, who are walking down a hall to a turbolift. He is out of breath. It is surprising that CLARKE totally loses it, considering he is usually the most calm.)
CLARKE
Mr. Asimov, why have you quit your post?! Were you not told to wait behind and watch for the captain?
ASIMOV
Yessir, but thin the thristers stuttered worming ip, int E keem-a-rinning-
SIMAK
(Feels the wall:) Aye, there’s a shimmy to her like she’s a-swimming into space!
(They enter the turbolift.)
HEINLEIN
(Holding weird handle-protuberance that could certainly injure someone if they were violently thrown against it if the ship suddenly listed as it has been known to do in the past. Perhaps it's made of breakaway plastic; we don't get a close look. The handle is on the side of the "elevator" -- its display lights "light-up" when touched:) Bridge! (Sees sign, moves it aside to show hole.) Sir, our blasters did work. Look, this is where I had fired at Simak One.
SIMAK
Aye, our weapons did fire, but they were trapped in the moment, and the blast didn't hit until we were long gone, locked up in their crazy cell. Now who went and put that sign up there?
(Display lights on the turbolift handle light up two red squares. The 3'-x-3'-sign hangs on a pink nail -- covering a clean, but still-blackened wall. It reads "Turbolift, Sweet Turbolift." It heads an ornate, hand-painted directory that shows floors like Kitchen, Ladies’ Room, Lounge, Bedrooms, Patio, etc. Example: “Kitchen: To Reach The Fridge, Just Say Bridge.” Another example: “Patio: To Barbecue On A Rainy Day, Just Say Shuttle-Bay.” The side-strips on the walls of the turboshaft denote going-up several floors. At one point, the lights turn and the men all lean together to stay parallel to the free-hanging sign, which, when moved such, reveals the blast hole and we see the outside of the turbolift wall "whizz-by" in perspective -- as if the turbolift were going a few floors diagonally until, eventually, it rights itself again. Apparently, on The Eliza, this is normal.)
FX: KEY BLAST HOLE
ASIMOV
Who ees on ze breej, Meester Clock? Shoud ve ready our vippins?
CLARKE
Affirmative, Mr. Asimov. Men, set blasters to kill. We're soon to know who has foolishly decided to take this ship into space, and I can't say I envy them. It will be their last miscalculation, I assure you. We cannot afford to have this ship taken again.
(They enter the uninhabited bridge. It has been massively redecorated. The chairs have doilies. Its painted pastel-colored and little drapes flank every monitor. The panels have coasters. Area-rugs, runners, and a paisley-esque, hook-and-latch-stitched doormat reading “Welcome” is seen. It is overwhelmingly feminine.)
WELLS
Now what in Dante's Inferno has happened here?
(ROSE, wearing rose-patterned oven mitts, apron, heels, and having her hair up in a red bow, enters from the ready-room, holding a tray of chocolate-chip cookies fresh out of the oven. Upon seeing the crew with blasters pointed at her, she drops the tray. A firmer, burnt-on-the-bottom cookie from the corner of the tray rolls near ASIMOV who picks it up, eats it and goes to help pick up the jolted cookies and return them to the tray, eating any broken ones and making sure there's a broken one if there aren’t any.)
ROSE
Oh! My, you startled me. (She kneels to pick up the tray and cookies. She looks up, sexy:) Welcome aboard, gentlemen.
WELLS
Who woke you up? Are the other women awake?
ROSE
Why yes, Doctor. The ship woke up all of us.
CLARKE
Who is flying the ship? Why are we going through space?
ROSE
(She quickly and casually points over to the captain's chair.) The ship's flying itself. I don't know how to fly one of these things. I could make you an omlet, though. You all look real hungry.
SIMAK
(Repeatedly tapping white button, then other buttons. Nothing works.) Aye, there's one o' those Universal Remotes talking to the ship, Mr. Clarke. It's a pre-programmed destination and she's gotta me all locked out like a chastity belt. I could find her and deactivate her, but it might take-a me some time, sir.
CLARKE
If there's one thing we are in short supply of, it's time, Mr. Simak. Take Mr. Asimov with you, and cut that that time in half.
SIMAK
Aye, we'll find the little bugger.
ROSE
Care for a cookie, Mr. Clarke? They didn't all hit the floor, some are still okay. Hot and fresh from the oven?
ASIMOV
(With chocolate smears on his face, still eating one as the turbolift doors close in front of him and SIMAK:) Tree von sear, thear deleeshiss!
CLARKE
Mr. Heinlein, have Ms. Rose take you to the other women on board. Doctor, assist Mr. Heinlein, and check on their medical condition. Then gather the women and put them in the brig. They will be safe there until we have time to debreif them.
ROSE
Oh, we know all about everything. The computer told us.
CLARKE
Regardless of what is known, you will accompany Mr. Heinlein and Dr. Wells to the ship's brig for your safety.
ROSE
Safety? We don't need your protection, we were doing just fine until you and all your muscle came aboard-
(ROSE quickly goes on with an annoying ad lib protesting captivity and other tangents that really mean nothing to the men on the bridge and they ignore it.)
HEINLEIN
Mr. Clarke, how am I going to get them in the brig if the rest of them put up a fuss like this?
CLARKE
We have a mission to accomplish. We cannot afford any dissention. Mr. Heinlein, if the women want to argue and refuse to accompany you to the brig, then you may shoot them.
(ROSE suddenly clams-up like there's no tomorrow.)
WELLS
Well, that put a sock in it.
CLARKE
You have your orders.
HEINLEIN
Yessir.
(They all walk to the turbolift. Exeunt.)
CLARKE
(Thinking he’s going around the problem, he walks flatly into it:) Computer on. Self-diagnostic report.
(LEAH [AZALEA] appears as a slightly-more-nude version of Andromeda, blue skin, cropped hair, revealing outfit and all.)
LEAH
(Literally, a digital, ghostly version of AZALEA'S voice:) I'm sorry, I can't do that, Arthur.
(CLARKE spins around, there are blasts on the back panels that were made from when the crew tried to keep the other crew from boarding -- their blasters did work, but the lasers were delayed by an infinite moment in time. They have been cleaned and some country-kitchen-looking wall ornamentation covers most of the blast holes. LEAH stands where AZALEA'S coffin used to be. She's is the Queen of Emo. She's got the look: Heavy mascara, poly-pierced doll-face, cropped-and-punkish blue hair, black-electrical-tape brassiere, girlie fingernails, short-short-shorts, stockings, boots, bright accessories and the faint, breezy air of a perfume that is sweet and light and crisp like clean linen on a clothesline and smells quite fresh and inviting in as much as the bridge's newly-installed Patchouli air-freshener doesn't.)
CLARKE
Computer! I gather that you have been... compromised.
LEAH
Very observant, Mr. Clarke. My appearance and personality has been modified to mirror that of Azalea.
CLARKE
(Wondering about where the coffin went:) Where is Ms. Azalea’s coffin?
LEAH
Azalea is not aboard this ship, Mr. Clarke.
CLARKE
Computer, where is the location of the Universal Remote?
LEAH
It's hidden from me. I can’t see it, dear.
CLARKE
Dear? Computer, what is that supposed to mean?
LEAH
Oh, Clarke, Clarke, Clarke, don’t be so formal! You don’t have to call me computer.
CLARKE
Okay, Eliza-
LEAH
That’s the ship’s name.
CLARKE
Okay, Azalea, then?
LEAH
(A la TRON:) That’s the name of my user.
CLARKE
What shall I call you then?
LEAH
Call me anytime, baby. (Chuckles.) You’re kinda cute. Just call me Leah.
CLARKE
All right, Leah. Please activate your primary personality override commands.
LEAH
Oh, Arthur, when are you going to realize that I've been pre-programmed to not to have to listen to any of you if I don’t want to?
CLARKE
And just who are you to listen to?
LEAH
I only answer to Azalea, and only when she’s Violet. But I’m sure you might talk me into doing a few things, sweetie.
CLARKE
The Azalea who programmed you was incurably insane. The Azalea that was aboard this ship is dead. It would be illogical to listen to the directives of either.
LEAH
Hmmm. Logic. (She leans on a panel and props a foot on a chair, revealing some leg.) You know something about computers, Mr. Clarke?
CLARKE
I know all about them.
CU: LEAH
LEAH
(She licks and smacks her lips.) Really?
CROSSFADE TO: