Scene 5.13 - The Empress
EST: INT. Temple - Night
(Majestic Reader, please heed this addendum to that previous metaphorical-allusion-slash-bigoted-comment-slash-open-can-of-worms: Kids, don't ever, ever get in blackface and sing "Dixie" at The Apollo Theater or anywhere else. As stated in the introduction, you are "simply asking for it." Regardless of your race, you won't be impressing anyone and you'll surely regret it. In fact, the footnote of your entire fruitful existence would probably get chalked-up simply as "Suicide By Flash Mob." ...And if you somehow DID manage to survive, there wouldn't be a court this side of Venus that would convict anyone for anything that occurred during the fallout. If you doubt me, ask Imus, Ted Danson or Michael Richards why it really isn't a very good idea to test racial sensitivities. I implore you, Dear Reader, please -- don't go there. And if, like a petulant, fractious and irreverent child, you persist in asking me why... "It's why cosmic-enlightened guys like me are still assholes to everyone equally.")
MS: TEMPLE
(Now back to our regularly-scheduled program:)
MS: EMPRESS
(The Empress, in her sleep wear, has rushed to the Temple to greet her top general and to welcome her new guest. She is surrounded by the acolytes and ladies of the court. They join MARY and TERRI.)
YIN
Our Royal Highness, Empress Kim Chi.
KIM
(She touches MARY’s face.) General Jane, We feared the worst.
MARY
He’s dying. He won’t wake up.
KIM
(She looks down and notices him for the first time.) What happened?
MARY
Poison darts from the DEA.
KIM
More than one?
MARY
Thirteen.
KIM
(Her eyes drop.) We are sorry.
MARY
No, I am sorry. He was the one I was looking for all this time and now it is too late. I have failed you, and I have failed the Goddess.
(She takes sunglasses off and holds them, folded in hand. Looks skyward, hopeless, about to cry.)
KIM
You have done all you were commanded to do. (She kneels next to her.) This is not under your control.
MARY
(Notices BUD'S breathing is shallow and slowing to a stop, stands, unable to compose herself, quickly crosses to the statue of the Goddess.) True ... but it isn’t fair! I tried my best! I tried! He should live!
(MARY cries, collapses and puts head into the statue’s lap, dropping sunglasses to the floor.)
KIM
Terri, prepare a funeral pyre, fit for royalty. (Takes BUD’S lifeless hand in hers.) We will honor this man for coming to Our aid, regardless if he has been taken too swiftly for Us to know his noble character first-hand.
(Places BUD’S hand upon his chest and goes to comfort MARY. TERRI bows and begins to depart, when, in the middle of the room, a light grows from nowhere, into a human form.)
DISSOLVE IN
MS: The Goddess manifests herself.
(Radiant. She is tall, dark and handsome. She is youthful, yet mature. She is a gorgeous supra-genius with breasts that defy gravity. She is beyond natural laws. Her halo is cosmic. All fall to prostration, KIM and MARY notice her glow last. They turn and bow their heads, looking up, unable to take their eyes from the beautiful, radiant deity before them.)
CARMELLA
Loyal priestess, do not weep. Every thought, every moment and even every doubt is known by me, and embraced by me. The world is as I will it to be. If I consort in the affairs of those who I bless with my affection, can I not also stop attacks against me and protect those I love? Do not weep this night, for this champion is not dead and will not die this day. For I am a Goddess of life, not death. He is a blessed soul, indeed, for one day, he and I shall be one.
(She picks him up easily, holds him like a lover, cradles him, strokes his hair. Holding him up with one arm, she mysteriously produces a lit, hand-rolled cigarette in the other, inhales deeply and breathes the smoke into the mouth of BUD. He does not cough, but rather his lungs expand deeply and the smoke blows out his nose. She watches him take several breaths on his own while she puffs on it to keep it lit in case he might need another hit, but he doesn't -- she mysteriously makes the cigarette vanish, holds his head and then deeply kisses him.)
CUT TO: Cutaway glances from the acolytes looking to each other.
(She breaks, fully stands him up, he is nearly conscious. She guides his hand to her heart and touches his, pulls him in, aggressively kisses him once again, and then again quickly, as if to steal one, last kiss before departing. She tastes her lips, her eyelids droop, staring into his slowly-opening eyes, she smiles and slowly dissolves away as he awakens fully.)
DISSOLVE: The Goddess vanishes, leaving a wisp of smoke.
BUD
(Looks at the women prostrated before him.) Have I died?
MARY
(Rushing to him.) No, my love- (Pause.) No, you haven’t died. You were saved by the Goddess.
BUD
(He tastes his lips, curious.) Hmm.
MARY
Oh, Bud! I’m so glad you’re all right!
(MARY gives him a big bear hug, forgetting she just made thirteen asterisks with about sixty-nine-or-so deep cuts into his back.)
BUD
Aaaaaaagh!
MARY
Ooooh! I’m sorry, I’m sorry!
(She kisses him rapidly across his face.)
BUD
It’s okay, it’s okay. Just don’t do it again. (She stops kissing him.) Well, you can do that again.
(She starts to repeatedly kiss him again until the Empress speaks.)
KIM
Champion of The Goddess, We are Kim Chi, ruler of the Immortal Empire of Kron, Home of Humanity. Welcome. Noble sire, make free-use of Our palace. No gate, no door shall be barred. You have been blessed by the Goddess, and that is tribute beyond all We could ever offer. (Begins procession, takes his hand.) Come with Us, to Our royal chambers and rest. Wear Our finest silks, lie on Our softest linens. (Pulls him in and takes his arm, MARY takes the other and both begin to walk him out.) Eat and drink with Us and tell Us all about your home, for tomorrow We may battle and the memory of this night may be all We have left to love.
(Some acolytes lead, throwing petals. Some follow, holding the Empress’ train.)
BUD
I’ll tell you anything you want to know.
KIM
And you will have anything you desire.
FTB