Scene 4.19 - Waterfall
INT. Wine Cellar
(AZALEA is sitting on the coffin, doing her nails. VIOLET is playfully swimming in circles. LEAH has a 1930s version of a camcorder with wires and a bulky box attached. VERNE is proudly documenting the experiment, but suddenly pauses and leans on AZALEA.)
VERNE
Hello, I'm Dr. Jules Tiberius Rodham Verne, and I'm standing here in The Baron's wine cellar in his mansion in Rixhoft, Poland, at approximately ten minutes before midnight on October 31st, 1939. I am about to embark on a revolutionary, new method for reintegration of phantasmic personas created via para-prismatic paradox. In this experiment, I will attempt to merge the four latent aspects of subject Azalea into one, complete, dominant consciousness. Outside of the fact that I'm merging a discorporated ghost, a quantum-spectre, a vegetable and a reanimated corpse inhabitated by an evolved, rebel phantasm all into a free-flowing, Internexus paradox and hopefully, one body. Truly, the novel part of the experiment is that I will be sending her exactly eight-thousand thirty years into the future, to a period of one minute before the operation, possibly creating a quandry, but also possibly removing any and all of the existing-
LEAH
Verne? Verne, what's wrong?
AZALEA
Are you all right? What's wrong?
VERNE
(Touching heart:) I felt a great disturbance in the buzz, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced. I feel something terrible has happened. (Back-handed gestures to LEAH and the Art-Deco camcorder.) Continue.
LEAH
Rolling.
SIMAK
Sir! Mr. Slaag's gone!
CLARKE
Gone?
WELLS
How?
VERNE
What happened to him?
HEINLEIN
The Baron; I bet he's assimilated them, to become stronger than you; it's what I'd do.
VERNE
You're probably right. Poor Slaag; I kinda liked the old chap. More easy-going than-
(TK-420? The other clone that was more like he is? The one he assimilated? VERNE trails off...)
SIMAK
Aw, and he had me flask with him! Lady Luck's not gonna like that now!
CLARKE
(Aside:) I doubt we would ever be so lucky to have our Verne get assimilated.
WELLS
Impossible. No, there's nothing latent about our Captain Verne. Nothing at all.
VERNE
...I've reversed the polarity, so I will actually enter the hypercube before the experiment begins to shield myself from the dilution of the fabric of time outside the box. I've scraped-up enough plutonium to replace the Ellisonium I needed to power the generator independently from subject Violet's psychic-conduit; so she may return-
LEAH
Hey hold on, are you, are you saying that this sucker's nuclear?
VERNE
Keep rolling! No, no, no, this sucker's electrical, but I need a nuclear reaction to generate the 1.21 gigawatts of power needed to create a grey room identical to the parameters of the initial red room quantum sphere that I created over New Trinity back when-
THE BARON
(Two fists clenched, angry, ala William Shatner in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan:) Verrrrrne!
(Take time going between them, as if poker faces were an introduction. Still, this isn't the time for our beloved actor to take it too far. That time is coming, I assure you... Finally:)
VERNE
Well look who didn't get a present from his secret Santa. I gather you're The World-Famous Baron?
THE BARON
(Blue glow:) You know who I am. It's finally back to you and me, Verne.
VERNE
(Red glow:) At last. Oh, I'll take you on, Baron, but not here. There's too many innocent bystanders; we'll go into the generator to fight it out.
THE BARON
Since when do you care about innocent bystanders; or anything else for that matter?
VERNE
From what unholy paradox are you? The New Trinity Incident? Are you an aspect or just an ass?
THE BARON
A careless lot of rebels, they. Those were all your creations, I only gave them a way out of your madness. I don’t want to split hairs with you. You know me. I pre-date the whole mess; even before your little Rhean incident. I’ll win.
(Curious glances about. Add music, take time with the reactions.)
WHIP PAN
VERNE
It doesn’t matter when we split-
WHIP PAN
THE BARON
Oh yes it does.
WHIP PAN
(Everyone watches the whip-pans like a ping-pong game.)
VERNE
Whenever you split, you’re going back in me, and that’s all there is to it.
WHIP PAN
THE BARON
Plenty has happened since we became two people. You’d be surprised how long it’s really been. I know something you don’t. We cannot reintegrate unless we assimilate together, on Zeta.
WHIP PAN
VERNE
On Zeta? That’s impossible. Without help from the Titans, no one has ever- Clarke, is he playing head-games with me?
WHIP PAN
CLARKE
As a true, blue-blooded Virginian, you know I am incapable of lying. From this same essential talent, I instinctively can detect when one is creating a falsehood. I see no evidence of doubt in The Baron’s face. Either he is a master of deceit, or he’s telling the unvarnished truth as he understands it to be.
LAST WHIP PAN
VERNE
Well in twenty-five words or less, I guess that’s along the lines of what I’m thinking. You might be speaking true, Baroni-Baloney, but I can’t afford to take the chance if you’re lying. I guess we’re stuck, Baronini-da-meany. Until I know just who you are and just what perverted aspect of me was severed when you came into being; I can’t take any risks. It looks like we’re at a quantum stalemate...
CLARKE
Captain, there is a measure of truth, and there is a method of knowing more.
WELLS
You can’t mean, no, Clarke, you can’t! You shouldn’t!
CLARKE
I believe I must. Captain: A Virginian Money-Meld is the only way to know for certain who The Baron is and whether he’s telling the truth.
(RONNIE begins glowing a subtle blue.)
RONNIE
You don’t have to do that, Baron. I got your back, yo.
VERNE
Ronnie, what's gotten into you lately? Get away from that bad man, he'll give you the cooties.
RONNIE
(More intense blue glow:) I don't have to listen to you.
VERNE
You've fallen to the dark side of the buzz? Didn't I teach you better than that?
RONNIE
It's liberating. I don't have to hide my powers, and I don't have to take orders from you anymore. I'm not a machine. I am female, throughout. I am woman, hear me roar!
VERNE
(To camera, gesturing:) One lesbian encounter and she thinks she's Susan B. Anthony. (To ASIMOV:) And, Isaac, why are you cheesing-up to a clown who thinks a fifty-dollar tux will give him some class?
ASIMOV
He iss ze von smart eniff to reekigknees me true tillints andy icknahllidges me rink too!
THE BARON
Yes, Lieutenant; (As if it were sour coming out-) We’ll discuss all the paperwork behind that... soon. And, Verne, or should I say, Verne Zero? I know more about what you’ve been doing than you’ll ever know about what I’ve been doing. I’m too legit to quit. I’ve got nothing to hide, because the truth comes easily to those who do not lie to themselves. If Mr. Clarke needs to see my paperwork, he’s completely free to have-at.
(THE BARON hands CLARKE a thin billfold. CLARKE opens his own, begins mingling the money. There isn’t any currency from 1939 in either billfold. We’re talking about less than four hundred bucks total, most of it CLARKE’S. There’s Jefferson on the twos, Franklin on the one hundred, Washington on the ones and Lincoln on the fives. Obama is on the 33 1/3 dollar bill. All bills from CLARKE'S wallet are printed between 9964 and 9968. All of THE BARON’S bills are much, much older and much less colorful looking, more like Twentieth and Twenty-First Century bills. THE BARON sports a 66 2/3 T. Roosevelt greenback and a 133 1/3 F.D.R. note. THE BARON’S stack contains bills printed between 6999 and 7009. There’s a small stack’s worth of foreign bills mixed in THE BARON’S modest stack. The foreign bills are small, shoddy and pictured with total unknowns from unheard-of planetary systems. The people pictured are all humans and all of them look very similar to at least one of the crew members or concubines since everybody has nearly the same D-N-A as everybody else. The funny money looks kinda like third-world bucks -- almost like Monopoly money or carny currency. There’s crowns and Royal Jewels and swords and scriptures and quotes and strange buildings on the backs and faces of the tender. They have ludicrously-large denominations like 500,000 Blinzees or 1,500,000 Quardars or One Billion Voutentoses -- altogether, the wide stack of thin foreign currency is worth about fifty-eight dollars. All bills of U.S. currency are the same size, just like the bills are in the Twenty-First Century. CLARKE sorts and faces the bills according to denomination and after having two stacks of cash from each respective participating wallet, he begins a blending into one cryptic pile of paper. The group stands, transfixed, in awe. Music up.)
CLARKE
Baron Verne, my money is your money, your money and my money grow together, as one currency. Yes... One currency with many sources. Yes. Money... Old money. Money from before. Money spent in space. Money from gold. Gold mined in space, taken to freighters. Yes. A freighter. A freighter thought lost to a dark star...
VERNE
(Over previous line:) I don’t think I like this, Doc.
WELLS
(Over previous line:) He never listens to me, I’d have rejected it outright. I’d better dial-up the hypo for smelling salts.
CLARKE
Yes, the paradox. Minted, before, long ago, worlds to be no more... (Fondles coinage:) Unless.... Yes... I see ships, many great ships. Regula...
SIMAK
Regula? Mr. Clarke!
ASIMOV
Dint intearuppedim.
CLARKE
Chimera...
ASIMOV & HEINLEIN
Chimera!
CLARKE
Nightingale...
WELLS
Mr. Clarke!
(WELLS goes to the side of a tranced-out CLARKE; he seems ready to catch CLARKE when he faints.)
CLARKE
Roanoke...
(Mood music, reactions from everyone.)
CLARKE
The Guardian Of Infinity... The Phantom World...
VERNE
What?
CLARKE
Roanoke... Roanoke... Ride The Wave...
VERNE
WHAT?!?
CLARKE
The red wave to... Oblivion... Oblivion... Oblivion...
(CLARKE faints, WELLS and HEINLEIN catch him. The salts don't do it. He's unconscious.)
WELLS
He’s out cold. What now, Julie?
VERNE
Hmmmm. So you remember a few details about our jolly ol’ time on The Roanoke; that means nothing to me. We’re gonna solve this here and now. You and I, Baron. I didn’t hear one scrap of anything that convinces me that I should delay this assimilation any further. Let’s go, you’ve had your smoke-break...
THE BARON
What if I told you that my little box has more than just assimilation properties? More than the red room, more than all the rooms combined!
VERNE
It will make little difference between here and the highway, two of us are going to step into that box, and only one of us is coming out.
ALL EXCEPT CLARKE, VERNE AND BARON
Two men enter, one man leaves.
THE BARON
Very well, I'll take you on, but the prize won't be a mere assimilation.
VERNE
Even if one of us manages to assimilate the other, there will still be a conflict. If what you claim is true then you remember what Chewie said... One of us is the Good Verne, and one of us is the Bad Verne. The soul of what we were is long gone.
THE BARON
Perhaps not.
VERNE
I have no love for lies.
THE BARON
As far as what I know about Oblivion and our soul, it's all spelled out in black and white.
VERNE
Not you, nor anyone knows anything about Oblivion, nothing's ever returned from there.
THE BARON
So you say.
VERNE
(Pointing to Violet:) She ain't there. You know what's there, and it ain't ever coming back.
THE BARON
There’s only one way to ever really know, and if you remember, I made you a promise, and so far I’ve made it okay without you, so in reality, I really think I don’t need you like you think I need you, and instead, I really think you need me. Let’s know for sure once and for all who gets their just deserts.
VERNE
You want to hedge your bet- Is that it?
THE BARON
(Lights a phatty:) No, not quite; I was thinking about higher stakes.
VERNE
Were you now? (Takes joint, hits it, staring all the while:) What do you have in mind?
THE BARON
Winner-take-all. No assimilation. Loser gets thrown out... for good.
WELLS
Thrown-out?
THE BARON
Like yesterday’s garbage. Protocols be damned.
HEINLEIN
No, sir! Without really knowing what he’s doing- You can’t, it's suicide!
VERNE
A resolution between us?
THE BARON
Infinitely.
VERNE
Space?
WELLS
Don't, Julie. We don't know how long a phan can live without its host, or vice-versa.
THE BARON
The confines of a nutshell.
VERNE
Time?
THE BARON
A New-York Minute.
SIMAK
Don't-a do it, sir! The Baron's got this thing rigged-up to change all the equations to-a suit him! He bribed me, wanted me to activate it so you wouldn't have a chance!
THE BARON
Hmmm. I thought you were buttering me up a little thick. You can forget about the The Eliza, Smokey.
SIMAK
You kin-a tick away me ship, but you kint take away me captain now, me real captain.
THE BARON
We'll know soon enough. I don't suppose you've warmed-up the couplings or pre-heated the burners.
SIMAK
She's as cold as a well-digger's wine-cooler. He's the only Verne I'm-a listening to.
VERNE
I appreciate your loyalty, Smokey. So, is it true? You thought you had this rigged?
THE BARON
You know... It really doesn't matter either way if'n you think I got the soul or not. I'm gonna win. Even if Smokey doesn't help me, you're doomed. None of you will ever get to see your ship again. I know I'll win; I've seen it.
VERNE
The buzz only shows you possibilities, never certainties. After you, Baron.
THE BARON
(Blue aura:) Ready when you are.
VERNE
(Red aura:) I'm all here, but I think you're a few quandries short of a Phantom World. You may have planned for the cargo and crew, but what about Azalea? Did you stop and bother to work her into this? You thought she was dead! And what about Violet?
THE BARON
(Not understanding he's referring to the woman inside the tank:) Violet?
VERNE
Never mind, you'll know when you're me again. Azalea, activate the grey-room setting thirty-four to pi.
(The box glows with a dim, grey aura. We hear a distant, rising note.)
THE BARON
What are you doing?
VERNE
Cheating. I've solved it, no matter when we split. I know the setting of the core quandry, something you never bothered to learn. I can quadangulate time and position. I win by nature. You'd have to be the kind of guy who would pick up a scalpel to save a life, not just to end one. Prepare to be assmilated. Resistance is futile.
(During the last line, CLARKE has come to and realizes what is about to happen.)
CLARKE
Captain! What are you doing!?
VERNE
Relax, Clarke, I’m on my way to the final match, I’ll have this wrapped up in a jiffy...
CLARKE
No, Captain, you can’t! There’s something you don’t know! It can’t work! He knows trickery! He’s bound to have thought of it already!
THE BARON
Fool! If anyone has learned how to cheat, it's me! I'm glad you took time to gloat so I can counter with something your can't counter because I won't take time to gloat. It certainly shows the face of the good Julian Sickle, doesn't it? Lieutenant Asimov, Plan B!
ASIMOV
Aye, sir!
(ASIMOV pushes a button on a weird remote control. The coupling on the housing begins to spark like the the time-car does in Back To The Future. SIMAK jumps away from it. THE BARON, ASIMOV, RONNIE, THE CONCUBINES, LEAH, VIOLET, AZALEA and AZALEA'S COFFIN all dissolve away. The room slowly darkens. There is no longer ambient audio in the room.)
KILL NAT. SOUND
SILENCE
(Pause.)
WELLS
So, what, just, happened?
VERNE
(In dim light:) Looks like Clarke saw it coming. I appreciate the warning; I should have listened. Take it from a guy who spent thirteen days hovering over a hole in space, I should know better. I should have heeded your warning, Clarke. I thought I had him, but The Baron cheated. Whether he’s really the Good Verne or not, it doesn’t matter squat between daylight and the Devil’s den. He cheated and won the match before it began. (Sighs, faint red glow:) The Baron didn't realize I was attempting to merge Azalea, so she got caught in the crossfire -- he sure didn’t make it to Zeta, not without taking her into account. She may be one person, or she may not be, I don't know; she was standing on the conductor plate. She's gone on to something better, that's for sure; she's been sent across time and is probably in the thick of whatever life offers right along with The Baron. As far as the rest of his motley crew, he's probably taken Asimov along as a lackey and is creeping around in a fixed point in the future, using the concubines toward reaching some sick goal. It gets me; knowing he's got Ronnie swayed to the dark side; I like Ronnie; it really ticks me off...
WELLS
Julie! We gotta stop them! We need to get this thing working again and follow him!
VERNE
Choa! This thing will never work again. He's depleted its power and he's put himself in a time where we can't get at him no matter what we try. It's totally hopeless; we're screwed.
CLARKE
We could tap the Earth's resources of this time period; aquire enough plutonium to modify these fuel cells and re-create the incident, and instead, this time, we could follow them to the point-
VERNE
(Clacks his lighter shut, dragging deeply.) That's all well-and-good, Clarke, but that takes into account that we have Earth's resources at our disposal.
CLARKE
A small block should be sufficient; a mere five or six pounds...
VERNE
It’s not the quantity to consider, it’s the availability. Gee Clarke, I thought your logical mind knew what was going to happen to us and you were warning me, I guess I was wrong. You don't see it clear as night?
SIMAK
Captain: If it's a question of us being crafty-enough to hoodwink a few of them Nazi-types-
VERNE
Et, tu, Smokey? You -- of all people -- I expected you to have noticed it right away.
SIMAK
Eh? Notice what, sir?
HEINLEIN
It seems a little darker in here, and I can't see the walls of the room anymore. Huh. The ceiling's white...
VERNE
Don't any of you remember your fifteen-second introduction to the Academy's most-feared-of-all excercises? I know you've done it, all cadets sacrifice a mindless, one-celled clone made from a cancerous skin cell the very first week in class so we never, ever forget what can happen if we don't-
WELLS
Clue us in, Julie! What'd'ya know? It is related to the power going out?
VERNE
The power's not out, Doctor, it's in a remote place where we can't ever get to it.
CLARKE
Sir, if you're trying to make this a guessing game-
VERNE
Oh, ho, oh, it's no game, gentlemen, not at all. (Pause.) Don't you guys see? The Baron's gone to the future and pushed us into the black room. (Pause. VERNE takes a deep drag.) We're in Oblivion.
POV HEAVENS: PEDESTAL UP, DOLLY OUT, ZOOM OUT, TILT DOWN
ALL BUT VERNE
(Clenched fists, yelling up to the heavens in the manner of William Shatner; all together now:) Baaaarrrrrron!
FTB