Scene 6.18 - Ship Of Fools
EXT. NARC-ON-EM HORNITHOPTER - NIGHT
(The small `thopter climbs toward the Shield Wall.)
INT. NARC-ON-EM HORNITHOPTER - NIGHT
JEZEBEL
(Inner voice:) Loogy's sign. He's left us an Imperial stash bag.
(JEZEBEL and PORSCHE, bound by cabin straps, lie in the back, the two guards at the controls. One is deaf and signs all-rude-like to the other. Everyone knows what he's insinuating. Outside, `thopters and ships fly past them toward the city. JEZEBEL spies LOOGY'S stoney-eyed "Kilroy Was Here" graffitti scratched in the cabin roof.)
NARC-ON-EM GUARD #1
I'd sure like to have some fun before we kill her. That chick on Dag'slist keeps leading me on, it gets me all worked up.
NARC-ON-EM GUARD #2
(Signs, it's only in the subtitles:) [You'll never meet her, Bo-Gartt. Really, girls a person might chat with online are either looking for an impossible knight in shining armor to compensate for the love they didn't get from their last sugar daddy or they are so insecure they feel they can never truly actualize a deep interpersonal relationship at the level needed to maintain healthy co-habitation with another, so they compensate with either the illusion or the actualization of anonymous sexual fantasy. Sounds like you're getting the illusion side of it. Look elsewhere, man. I mean, she'll never meet you in person. A woman like that never dares find out that her dreamboat is just a randy guy ready to put it to anything warm and wet; no way, bro. Surely, she can't afford for you to learn she's fifty pounds heavier than her last uploaded picture -- with the emphasis on load -- and still coping with the awful rash that she picked up from the last guy she met with her MySlut page. Truly, you'd have better luck with a Grimean Stork.... at least they'll stay loyal as long as you feed them... As for this cupcake, that's a different story altogether. Why, she looks all dressed up with no one to... Yeah, yeah, I know what I wanna do... I wanna put my index finger into my other hand's fist repeatedly...]
NARC-ON-EM GUARD #1
(Reaching back for a thigh, breast, drumstick -- whatever's there:) Buzzkill, for a mute, you sure talk alot. And although you might not be able to hear a stinkin' word I say, you sure can catch my drift, man... Like we can take turns, man. You drive, then me... She looks like the kind of gal who likes it rough...
(A gagged JEZEBEL looks to PORSCHE, concerned.)
PORSCHE
(Struggling to use The Tongue:) Don'tchoo talk about my mama...
JEZEBEL
(Inner voice:) Jumping Jehoshaphat! He's trying The Tongue. The Reverend Mother said it could save him.
NARC-ON-EM GUARD #1
Did you hear a noise from the little one?
NARC-ON-EM GUARD #2
(Shakes head and points to ears:) [I didn't hear anything, dude.]
NARC-ON-EM GUARD #1
No?
NARC-ON-EM GUARD #2
(Squints, tilts head:) [What, now YOU ain't listening? I said no!]
(GUARD #1 turns and hits PORSCHE in the shoulder with a stun gun. PORSCHE recovers and starts taking long, calming breaths.)
JEZEBEL
(Inner voice:) The chonging exercise. Deep breaths, Porsche, deep breaths!
NARC-ON-EM GUARD #1
The little one!
(They laugh sickly. [Perhaps if this chapter was shot reverse-gendered I'd watch it and sickly laugh myself to death but I'm already close enough to that in life so let's all pretend I didn't say anything about getting creative with it...] Suddenly, GUARD #1 reaches around and puts his hand up JEZEBEL'S skirt. He starts breathing hard. PORSCHE clears his throat.)
PORSCHE
(Using The Tongue:) Remove her gag!
JEZEBEL
(Inner voice:) Excellente! Supremo!
(GUARD #1 finds himself removing JEZEBEL'S gag. GUARD #2 turns away from his controls but seems powerless to stop him. Once it's off, JEZEBEL seductively smiles and writhes on the `thopter floor like an exotic dancer at a bachelor party, or one of those drunk co-eds found abandoned on the internet somewhere...)
JEZEBEL (Cont'd)
(The Tongue:) Oh, boys! There's no need to fight over me.
(The two men stare at one another a moment. Then GUARD #1's hand, glinting silver, flashes into GUARD #2's chest, killing him. GUARD #1 pulls the knife out, smiling. The hornithopter begins to veer-off into a dangerous nose dive.)
NARC-ON-EM GUARD #1
Now, baby?
JEZEBEL
(The Voice:) First, cut my son's bonds.
(A drooling GUARD #1 slowly cuts PORSCHE'S big straps, never taking his eyes off JEZEBEL. The hornithopter gets closer and closer to the top jagged surface of the Shield Wall.)
JEZEBEL (Cont'd)
(The Tongue:) That's it, baby... oh yeah... kinky... keep going, lover...
(The blade cuts through the strap holding PORSCHE'S legs. PORSCHE kicks upwards extremely-powerfully and his foot breaks through the man's chest cavity and drives his heart up into his head, spewing blood out the man's mouth. PORSCHE grabs the controls but it's too late. The ship falls into the rock, tumbling below -- hitting the edge of a massive, upper branch on a gargantuan tree. They continue to dive into the darkness of the deep jungle.)
EXT. NARC-ON-EM HORNITHOPTER - JUNGLE - NIGHT
(The `thopter slides across another large bough, shearing off a wing. Suddenly, they are beyond the tree -- hundreds of feet below the tree tops and plummeting fast toward the massive leaves, bushes and brambles below.)
BACK TO SCENE
(PORSCHE pulls desperately on the controls and manages to keep the ship aloft and flying into the deep jungle. We see the trunk of an even-more monstrous tree ahead; covered with several different types of luminous mosses and ivy.)
JEZEBEL
Aw, snap!!!
CUT TO: