Scene 7.07 - Hell's Island
EST: EXT. Geronimo Bay Dungeon, Way Down South - January 12th, 1799
INT. RECEPTION AREA
(MONTY stands before a voluptuous and beautiful woman, shuffling through records of incoming detainees. A guard flanks her.)
SADIE
Bizkit, Monty. Welcome to Hell's Island, Monty. No one gets voted-off this island, not unless death comes to get ya.
MONTY
I'm an innocent man, my lady! I give you my word as a gentleman I have been charged with treason and I am truly innocent!
SADIE
Even if a man's word meant something around here, which it doesn't, it wouldn't matter what I think about your case. (Pause.) I actually do believe you are innocent, Monsieur Bizkit, find comfort in that. Of course, it's completely inconsequential, for you have been sent here-
MONTY
There was no court! No jury, no conviction. I was only charged; and the Chief Federal Prosecutor said he knew I was innocent!
SADIIE
I don't doubt that either, Monsieur. People are sent here when they are never to be seen again; when they are to be disposed of.
MONTY
Disposed-of? I was only delivering a letter- It's a mistake, a clerical error or something... Ask the chief prosecutor who investigated -- he knew I was innocent and he dropped the charge you could get his opinion-
SADIE
(Sits at desk, finishes a few pen strokes, closes file.) Save it, Bureaucrat. My opinion is all that matters here. (Pause.) I like your necklace. Good thing it isn't silver or it would be mine. (Lights a square.) Look, I don't care if you're here for being a mailman, or a murderer. It is not my job to care. My job is to keep you away from bad medicine and sharp objects and everything else in the civilized world until nothing remains but your corpse. End of story.
MONTY
Until death?
SADIE
Everyone here, the guards, me, you, everyone. One big happy, poopy family.
MONTY
What a monstrous job!
(She gets up and wanders around.)
SADIE
True that, Bureaucrat! Tell me about it: Misery; day in, day out -- had to visit Sing-Sing for my last vacation, Folsom just didn't do it for me the year before, I needed to talk shop with some sick and twisted people like me who had half a brain and who keep up on the latest innovations of our trade like I do -- the union headquarters is at Alcatraz, so where do ya think the regional conference for the shop stewards is held every other year or so? Bingo. Offshore, like here, one big island, you can see Californee, but there's nothing to do there. You'd think we could meet half-way in Panama City on dry land or where the action is or something, but -- hell, the trip itself including the stagecoach though the jungle takes three weeks each way, and they don't even book us a prison barge -- so, I ask you, where's the fun in that? A monstrous job, alright, but somebody's got to do it -- which brings us to what I was just about to mention, Bureaucrat -- just so I can remember how long you've been here, I've got to scar ya, and I got it all systematic and all, so don't take it personal, 'cause everyone here is tortured equally and I add a tatt to my own ass every now and then just to remind me that providence alone made me the woman I am today -- lessee, for you, barbed whips one year, a lit candle another year, and so forth... I start goin' easy on ya 'round year ten... (Shows a few of her small, yet colorful, tattoos.) Scar ya, kinda like rings on a tree, every year on this day I will use my whip, or the butt of the whip or what-not -- just a little bit, not much, just enough to give ya peace of mind on who's in charge here and still plenty enough so I kin blow off enough steam to still wanna keep feeding y'all every day and really, truth be known, it's really so I don't lose my mind in here and go all postal all up in here one day on everybody all up in this place now, cuz it's kinda like being in a cell here myself, and the walls keep getting smaller and the shore-line keeps creeping in, bringing in the deep, dark, cold, silent ocean, closer and closer... (Pause, cutaway to guards eyeballing each other nervously.) Okayden! Let's get this party started, Bureaucrat. I'm as excited about you being here as much as you are, and I can't wait to show you some of the modifications I've made to some of my more innovative weapons of ass destruction...
FTB