Scene 8.14 - The Concert
EST: INT. Onstage - July 4th, 1815 - Mid-Evening
(Three girls onstage with cowbells dance to a hip beat and sing in harmony much like the Andrews Sisters.)
BACKUP
Lord Casino was a merry old soul and a merry old soul was he, he called for his pipe, and he loaded his bowl and he called for cowbellers three...
(Segue, like the credits to a rockumentary or the lead-in of a band promotional video -- cowbells used throughout onstage:)
MUSIC: MIX-MASTER MC HIP-HOP EDIT SAMPLE OF NUMEROUS RECYCLED COWBELL CLINKS AND CLUNKS
PYROTECHNICS
PSYCHO SOLO
(MONTY, In the vein of Fat-Boy Slim, A la The Cock-a-doodle Stank w/cowbell:) R-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-right about now, the hash is cookin', check on it now, yeah it's still cookin', right about now, at one-hundred fifty, check it out now, it's gonna get trippy, right about now, the hash is bakin', check it out now, brownies I'm makin, right about now, the hash I'm tokin', check it out now, the weed I'm smokin', right about now, we'll smoke a bowl brutha, check it out now, tell ya sista and ya mutha, right about now, can't think-up anutha, right about now, about now, about now, about-
DISSOLVE
MUSICAL SEGUE TO OVERBLOWN ACOUSTICAL ORCHESTRATION AND MOODY HINT OF ODD PERVERSION
PYROTECHNICS
DYNAMIC DUET
(ALBERTA and MONTY a la rock-ballad w/cowbell in the style of Poison:) We get high on the hill when I give you a light, Though we broke it up together, there's still some seeds inside, was it something I smoked or something you toked, did I roll the joint too tight? Though I tried not to bogart, though I tried, But I guess it's why they say every bull's got its horn, just like every pervert's got his porn, like all those cowbell bands that keep rhy, rhyming wrong, every bull's got its horn...
DISSOLVE
MUSICAL SEGUE TO HOME-SCHOOLED KEYBOARD BEAT-BOX DRUM-KIT ELECTRONICA
PYROTECHNICS
TECHNO TRIO
(VERONICA, CHONGI and POKE In the 1780s techno-style of Ace of Base w/cowbell:) Whoah, ah, oh, oh, Yeah! I, I gotta new high You would hardly recognize it it's so good How could a person like me pull for you? (Why?) Why do I hit pipes When you're always good to me Ooooo, is it full enough? I hit the bong and it opened up my mind I hit the bong The high is heavy-toking without over-choking I hit the bong and it opened up my mind I hit the bong Everyone's gonna hit you up to get to light your magic bong... But who's gonna clear the bong? Ah! Hittin' a green bud For so many years I wondered what you are How can a water-pipe ever bring me joy? Gettin' a light head Where I see a lot of stars Ooooo Is it full enough? I hit the bong and it opened up my mind I hit the bong The high is heavy toking without over-choking I hit the bah-ong and it opened up my mind I hit the bong Everyone's gonna hit you up to get to light your magic bong... Did you fully cash that bong? Oh! Oh, oh, oh...
DISSOLVE
MUSICAL SEGUE TO HIP-HOP POP WITH EMPHASIS ON "HIP"
PYROTECHNICS
QUAINT QUARTET
(ADELE in mid-riff showing pirate outfit, resembling in-voice a younger, red-headed Britney Spears, sans pregnancies and shaved head. The other ladies dance back up w/cowbell.) Baby, can'cha see? You're campin' A bowl like that I should be tampin' It’s burnin' down I’m waitin’ There’s no time to waste I can’t wait I need a hit Baby, give me it It's burnin'-down You're wastin' it Get high Don't be a clown It's in your hand Burning down and down Will you hit it now? What a waste on your lips It's fully parked, Hot-boxin' you're really campin' Wastin' flame, I'll hafta re-spark yet I’m waiting on you Don’t you know you gotta pass it? That joint ain't all for you, Don’t you know you gotta pass it? It’s getting late I'm givin' up It's on your lip, that's so dicked-up, Slowly, it's burning to a roach Get high Don't flap your lips It’s wasted air, just take a hit Will you pass it now? When you're chompin' gums no one gets high, hot-boxin' you're pissing off all my mates who really wanna try my indica too so why ya hot-boxin'?
DISSOLVE
MUSICAL SEGUE TO PSYCHEDELIC ELECTRO ORGAN W/COWBELL
PYROTECHNICS
QUIRKY QUINTET
(MONTY with ADELE, VERONICA, ALBERTA and CHONGI as backup vocals. CHONGI, topless as ever, only lip-synchs. The drum kit is dwarfed by the cowbells surrounding it. Keep that in mind. In the manner of Jim Morrison:) At first flash of Endo We race down to sew bee Standing there on ganja's shore Waiting for the blunt Waiting for the blunt Waiting for the blunt Can you feel it Now that Summer's come That it's time to toke this tasty bud Waiting for the blunt Waiting for the blunt Waiting for the blunt. Waiting for the blunt Waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting Waiting for you to toke along Waiting for you to dig my song Waiting for you to hit that bong Waiting for you to tell me its my turn to chong This is the greatest high I've ever known- (Scream) Can you feel it Now that Summer's come That it's time to toke this tasty bud. Waiting for the blunt Waiting for the blunt Waiting for the blunt Waiting for the blunt Waiting for the blunt, waiting for the blunt, waiting, for the blunt.
SLOW DISSOLVE TO: