Scene 6.22 - The Iceworm Cometh
EXT. BRANCH - JUNGLE - NIGHT
(PORSCHE and JEZEBEL are in spleefsuits. A leather bikini and a set of leather swim trunks, black rubber tubes and some netting to hold it all together, studded, dreaded collar and all. Very Emo. PORSCHE is looking through a Brew-kit. He finds a paper with DR. LOOGY'S mark on it.)
PORSCHE
(Inner voice:) Loogy's left the plans for the weirdo modules.
EXT. MOONS - DARAKKEEN - JUNGLE - NIGHT
(The moons have moved further across the leaf-obscured sky.)
BACK TO SCENE
(Suddenly, PORCHE turns and studies his mother. A stronger wind comes up.)
PORSCHE (Cont'd)
We have to get to the tree trunk. We have entered the time when all will turn against us and seek our lives...
(JEZEBEL gets up. They make their way up the branch of the tree toward a large knot-hole.)
PORSCHE (Cont'd)
It's further than I thought... a worm is sure to come.... I'll plant a humper, that should divert it.
(PORSCHE moves off into the shadows. Suddenly, JEZEBEL sees a burst of lightning illuminate the luminous, ivy-and-moss-covered tree trunk in the distance before them. It's gargantuan.)
JEZEBEL
(Inner voice as PORSCHE leaves to light the humper:) The night is a tunnel... a hole into tomorrow... if we're to have a tomorrow...
EXT. DEEP JUNGLE - NIGHT
(PORSCHE plants the humper which begins a powerful rhythmic noise. He turns to his mother.)
PORSCHE
(Returning:) Remember... walk without rhythm, and we won't attract a worm... it'll go to the humper.
JEZEBEL
(Puts in her noseplug:) I'm ready.
(PORSCHE and JEZEBEL move into camera and exit right.)
EXT. DEEP JUNGLE - NIGHT
(Another burst of lightning. The distant trunk seems to have grown no larger. Their muscles begin to ache. Suddenly they hear the humper start behind them.)
PORSCHE
Vamanos... keep going, mi madre...
JEZEBEL
(Inner voice:) Forty-four bottles of beer on the wall, forty-four bottles of beer...
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. DEEP JUNGLE - NIGHT (LATER)
PORSCHE
Keep going, Madre, pronto!
JEZEBEL
Seven bottles of beer on the wall, seven bottles of beer...
(Their breathing becomes very labored. The leaves move like slow water, forever rolling down and up. Then they hear the worm, the low thundering sound of massive wooden beams snapping like toothpicks. The humper stops. PORSCHE turns.)
PORSCHE
Faster!
JEZEBEL
(Faster inner voice:) You take one down, you pass it around, six bottles of beer on the wall... Six botlles of beer on the wall... (Screaming:) It's deafening!
(Their bodies ache and they feel like dropping, yet the knot-hole is still a good distance away. Sounds from the worm grow louder and PORSCHE turns to look.)
EXT. WORM - JUNGLE - NIGHT
(A flash of lightning. The worm is now coming toward them. The worm is enormous and is approaching at a terrifyingly fast speed. The power of this worm is awesome -- like totally awesome, dude.)
EXT. DEEP JUNGLE - NIGHT
PORSCHE
(Screaming:) Run!
JEZEBEL
I can't... I can't.
PORSCHE
You can and you will!
(JEZEBEL falls. PORSCHE stops and drags her up. They run again. The worm sound becomes unbearably loud. Static electricity sparks giant bolts of pure white lightning and the air turns to ozone. Finally they find reach the knot hole. Behind them the sound of the worm changes. They turn. The gigantic head of the worm is just reaching them. The mouth begins to open in a display of teeth and darkness. The mouth arches forward searching for them.)
EXT. BASE OF THE KNOT HOLE - LARGE TREE - NIGHT
(PORSCHE and JEZEBEL climb up and up inside a narrow slit at the bottom of the knot hole's rim.)
INT. KNOT HOLE CREVICE - TREE TRUNK - NIGHT
(The worm's mouth scrapes but it cannot penetrate the narrow opening in the knot hole's rim.)
EXT. KNOT HOLE - NIGHT
(PORCHE and JEZEBEL have crawled inward, perhaps ten feet into the large crevice.)
EXT. WORM AND KNOT HOLE - NIGHT
(Still, the worm reaches out to them. Suddenly the worm ends the rim-job and begins knocking on the knot hole. Huge shudders drive through the trunk. Over and over again the worm mindlessly hits at the tree trunk.)
EXT. KNOT HOLE BASE - NIGHT
(PORSCHE and JEZEBEL crouch further back in the tiny passageway of safety, but a wall of dried sap prevents them from moving back any more.)
INT. KNOT HOLE - NIGHT
(The breath from the worm is like a hurricane of wind.)
PORSCHE
(Inner voice:) That fruity taste... the spice! (Out loud:) Do you smell it?
JEZEBEL
Yes...
PORSCHE
(Inner voice:) I know the secret. The worm is the spice... the spice is the worm.
EXT. JUNGLE - NIGHT
(Suddenly a colossal chunk of the tree's bark cracks and topples off into the worm's mouth. Instantly the worm pulls back. A huge plasmic fire roars deep within the near-transparent worm, consuming the bark.)
INT. KNOT HOLE - DEEP JUNGLE - NIGHT
(The worm now can get even closer to PORSCHE and JEZEBEL. It looms up again and scrapes its mouth up against the rim of the knot hole.)
EXT. KNOT HOLE - DEEP JUNGLE - NIGHT
(Another fissure opens, and suddenly half the bark protecting them splits off entirely and falls... taking PORSCHE with it.)
EXT. WORM AND ROCK - NIGHT
(...against the worm.)
EXT. TREE TRUNK - DEEP JUNGLE - NIGHT
(PORSCHE is knocked off the worm onto the tree's sloped trunk and slides straight down the trunk a hundred feet. His feet skid along the face of the bark. He bounces and brakes. He hits and jumps. He careens from one rut, flies upside down, rights himself then tumbles and skids into a lower branch. Unhurt, he jumps up and scrambles up to another part of the trunk to safety.)
EXT. KNOT HOLE - DEEP JUNGLE - NIGHT
JEZEBEL
Porsche!
(She presses against the narrow ledge that is left after the worm assault.)
EXT. BASE OF KNOT HOLE - DEEP JUNGLE - NIGHT
(The worm is just coming up again when distant humping is heard. The worm, as if charmed by the sound, turns and moves off towards it.)
PORSCHE
(Inner voice:) A humper.
EXT. TREE TRUNK - DEEP JUNGLE - NIGHT
(JEZEBEL climbs further down and manages to get over to a place where she can meet up with PORSCHE, who is now climbing back up to her.)
JEZEBEL
(Crying:) What's happened?... Why did it leave?
PORSCHE
(Breathing heavily:) Someone laid another humper.... We're not alone.
(They climb downwards, along the trunk's rut until the rut ends at the mouth of another dark crevice in a large knot hole. PORSCHE and JEZEBEL try to see into the inky black hole.)
EXT. CREVICE - DEEP JUNGLE - NIGHT
(Slowly PORSCHE and JEZEBEL enter, inching forward. A low moan of wind comes up. PORSCHE can see nothing, then suddenly he sees stars through a cracked crevice above and sees the hint of descending stairs cut into the wood interior of the tree ahead of him.)
JEZEBEL
(Whispering:) Man-carved steps.
PORSCHE
(Whispering:) Yes...
(They descend the staircase and enter an extremely narrow dark channel of polished wood, opening to a large, hollow, starlit chamber. As they make their way through the entrance, suddenly there is a burst of lightning which illuminates a whole troop of Brew-men standing silently in front of them.)
EXT. BREW-MEN PLACE - DEEP JUNGLE - NIGHT
(The leader long-hair Brew-man speaks first.)
VAN HAGAR
Perhepps these are the ones Gehps told us of, eh? (To JEZEBEL:) Are you trenned in the wehs of the jungle?
JEZEBEL
No, but many consider my training valuable.
VAN HAGAR
I will tek the boy-toy... he shell heve senkshooehry in me tribe, doncha'-know...
(A low note on a dip stick is blown by one of the Brew-men tribe. JEZEBEL shifts, PORSCHE sees it, and just as VAN HAGAR begins a reach for his weapon, JEZEBEL turns, slashes out, utters a sound, whirls again and with wall behind her holds VAN HAGAR helpless in front of her -- her hand at his throat. PORSCHE moves on her first move. He races up a wood-chip incline.)
EXT. FREMEN PLACE - DEEP JUNGLE - NIGHT
(He then jumps higher-up and presses himself between two planks on a low shelf overlooking the rest of the Brew-men troop.)
EXT. FREMEN PLACE - DEEP JUNGLE - NIGHT
(The troop starts shooting projectile weapons in PORSCHE'S direction.)
VAN HAGAR
Stop! Get beck!! She hez the weirdo whey doncha'-know. Uff-da! Why didn't you tell us, eh? Great Bog... if you ken do this to the strongest of us you're worth ten times your weight of resin. U-betcha! As the leader of my people I give you my bond, eh? Teach us this weirdo way and you both shell hev seckshooehry, doncha'-know. Your resin shell smoke with our resin and we'll be okey-dokey, U-betcha.
JEZEBEL
Then I will teach you our way of battle.... you have the word bond of a Been Lez-a-bit.
A BREW-MAN
It is the legend, doncha'-know!
EXT. FREMEN PLACE - DEEP JUNGLE - NIGHT
(Up on the shelf, PORSCHE turns. He takes a step, then notices a small figure standing in front of him. It is a girl. A hot girl.)
STONI
I am Stoni, daughter of Bud, U-betcha... I would not heve permitted you to harm my tribe, doncha-know.
PORSCHE
(Inner voice:) From my dream... so beautiful. Bud.... is this Kind's daughter?
(PORSCHE stares at her in wonder.)
STONI
Come with me, eh? Alrightyden! I'll show you an easier way down, U-betcha.
(They exit.)
EXT. FREMEN PLACE - DEEP JUNGLE - NIGHT
VAN HAGAR
(To PORSCHE, as they meet:) You have strength... real strength... You shall be known as Coozy, which preserves the cold of the beer can. This is your secret name in our troop. But you must choose the name of manhood which we will call you openly.
PORSCHE
(Thinking:) What do you call the mouse shadow under the nipple of the second moon?
VAN HAGAR
We call that one Poop-A-Doob.
PORSCHE
Could I be known as Porsche Poop-A-Doob?
VAN HAGAR
You are Porsche Poop-A-Doob, and your mother shall be a Say-yadda-yadda-yadda among us.... We welcome you.
(Wind blows a cloud of dust through the wooden cavern. High above the moon with the mouse shadow glows brilliantly. It dissolves into the sun.)
EXT. DEEP JUNGLE - DAY
(PORSCHE, JEZEBEL and the Brew-men march across the branches, from tree to tree, miles above the moss-and leaf-covered ground below.)
EXT. DEEP JUNGLE - DUSK/SUNSET
(Rain and slippery bark and sap-covered leaves. Mysterious sounds echo in the distance as the giant sun is setting. STONI takes PORSCHE to the top of tree. They stare at the sunset and a huge tree, towering above others, looming in the distance.)
STONI
Tree Sabre.
PORSCHE
It's just like a big tree house, ain't it? Like them elves that make them cookies...
(PORSCHE looks at the tree, then turns to her. She's hot, like a girl in a shower. She cracks open a beer, offers him one-)
STONI
Tell me of your homeworld, Coozy.
(These words rend PORSCHE'S soul. He cannot speak. He reaches out and touches her hand - her cheek.)
INT. ENTRANCE - TREE SABRE - NIGHT
(The Brew-men troop enters into a large square room with slot passageways going off in various directions.)
INT. PASSAGEWAY - TREE SABRE - NIGHT
(They all move down one of the passageways which are beautifully but very plainly cut with lasguns. They are like passages in the pyramids, dark with sharp turns and inclines upwards or downwards, some very steep and long, and others descending hundreds of feet. There is a strong, moaning wind.)
PASSAGEWAY/STAIRS - TREE SABRE - NIGHT
(A quiet wind can be heard -- deep and moaning.)
JEZEBEL
Resin... oxygen...
(She looks at PORSCHE. He, too, notices.)
PORSCHE
Oxy-traps... huge ones.
(Down a long, sloping, narrow passageway they go until they reach a stairway cut into the wood. It is very dark and gets increasingly darker as they descend. The wind sound grows. The air grows warmer and drier. PORSCHE and JEZEBEL share another questioning look. At the bottom of the stairs they pass through a narrow slot doorway which suddenly opens out on something so totally unexpected it shocks PORSCHE.)
INT. FLAME RESERVOIR - TREE SABRE - NIGHT
(It is enormous, deep reservoir of black resin bubbling and boiling silently in the depths of the tree and stretches out into the darkness. Flames dance about the surface as the oxygen and the fuel meet the never-quenching, slithering flame.)
PORSCHE
(Inner voice:) Flame on Darukkus! I have seen this place in a dream. (Out loud:) A treasure.
VAN HAGAR
Greater than treasure, Coozy. We have thousands of such ceh-shehz, doncha'-know. Only a few of us know them all, U-betcha. When we heve enough... we shell chenge the fess of Darukkus, eh? Uff-da! Listen!...
(There is the sound of flames licking the boiling resin. The lights are extinguished - the glow shines on PORSCHE'S face.)
VAN HAGAR (Cont'd)
The Trees of Darukkus hold many secrets, eh?
CUT TO:
INT. HALL OF RITES
(Thousands of Brew-men wait below. PORSCHE enters a wooden ledge, guided by two monks, which is crowded with Brew-men and old Brew-men Monks. Below the crowds continue to watch and wait while a giant wind organ moans. A monk steps up to PORSCHE.)
MONK
We sense that you may be the "voice from the outer world" doncha'-know. Both moons told us of you. U-betcha. You must pess tests before we will know, eh? You mest conquer the beast of the jungle, both his outer and his deadly inner powers, doncha'-know. (Moves back) Speak to us, eh? Uff-da! From the outer world!
(PORSCHE turns and gathers courage to address the multitude below.)
PORSCHE
(Inner voice:) I am only a seed. (Out loud:) I am Coozy... Porsche Poop-A-Doob.
CROWD
(Loud murmur:) Poop-A-Doob!
MONK
U-betcha! The legend, eh?
PORSCHE
(Inner voice:) No one ever dreamed there would be so many tokers. (Out loud:) Our shared enemy, the Narc-On-Ems, are once again in control of Darukkus. Van Hagar, your leader, has asked me and my mother to crush the Narc-On-Ems. We must do more than this. We must totally destroy all spice pruning on Darukkus. The Spaced-Out Guild and the entire Universe depends on spice. -- "He who can destroy a thing, controls a thing". -- I will take sixty-nine of your finest pipe-chonging warriors and train them. This sixty-nine will train four-twenty, and the four-twenty will train the thousands that remain. When the spice blazing stops, all eyes will turn to Darukkus. The Baron and the Emperor himself will be forced to deal with us. Darukkus will become the center of the Universe. (Inner voice:) The dream unfolds.
DISSOLVE TO: