Scene 3.13 - Goin’ Native
EST: EXT. Asimov’s Island, Old Palacial Gardens - Noonish
(ASIMOV and LEAH look up at the sky, lying on a woven, bamboo-leaf mat stretched across a bed of four-leaf clovers. The two have ditched much of their traditional dress and have added hula skirts, war-paint, loin-cloths and coconut-pasties-or-something-like-that, all respective to gender, of course. ASIMOV could be one of the boys from Lord Of The Flies. LEAH reminds one of the hot chick from The Blue Lagoon -- you know, Brooke Shields, the jailbait who let nothing get between her and her Calvin Klein jeans.)
LEAH
(Smoking a long joint:) That was incredible.
ASIMOV
Vow, you kin git preety vild!
LEAH
Oh, you were the animal.
ASIMOV
Want to go at it again?
LEAH
Again? Already?
ASIMOV
Sure! Ve kin go at it even linger this timm!
LEAH
Longer? Oh honey, I’m plumb tuckered-out. Who knew?
ASIMOV
Yes, who knew I vas sich in innimal?
LEAH
No, who knew that mud-wrestling could be so much fun?!?
ASIMOV
Thit’s whit I used to say. You may have bit me two out of three-
LEAH
Three out of three-
ASIMOV
Ve can do ze best five out of sivin!
LEAH
Nah, honey, let’s just soak-up some rays.
ASIMOV
Okay, I vahnt to do vaht you like me to do.
LEAH
You know what I’d like?
ASIMOV
Vaht?
LEAH
To look good for you, baby.
ASIMOV
You look jist fine iz you are.
LEAH
Yeah, but, hey, why don’t you go pick me one of those flowers so I can put one in my hair?
ASIMOV
(Gets up:) Lick a hippie live-chilled.
LEAH
More like your little island-girl. Do you see one that matches my skirt?
ASIMOV
This von mitches your eyes.
(ASIMOV smells and drinks-in the exotic flower’s wonderful fragrance. Suddenly, poof! Someone blows a puff of baby-powder through a tube leading out of the stem. The powder dissipates and the cloud envelops ASIMOV’S face. He suddenly gets all goofy and happy -- evenmoreso, I mean.)
SOUND FX: Echo-ey, weird, spacey sounds over dramatic music
LEAH
(Eyes closed:) Did you find me a flower, honey?
ASIMOV
Oh yiss, it’s ze vonderful flower. You should kimm and see it fir yirsilf.
LEAH
(Stretches arms and legs:) Oh, you can bring it to me, I’m just getting stretched out and recovering from that ten-minute- (Relaxes, legs going limp, exhales in a breathy voice on:) headlock I had you in.
ASIMOV
You shid veally kimm and lick at it. Eat’s veally steamilleeteeng.
LEAH
Really? (Rolls to a stance without her hands touching the ground and saunters over to spoon him, putting a hand on his arm and looking his direction over his shoulder:) What is it, baby? What did you want me to see?
ASIMOV
Lick it zeez overhear.
LEAH
Those? Yes, they look nice, you could-
(Poof! Repeat music and sounds, like a fugue. LEAH feels a rush; suddenly looks to ASIMOV.)
LEAH (Cont’d)
Oh! Oooooh! Oh, you’re right. This is the best flower of all. We should uproot this whole patch and take them to the ship. I’m sure the others would like to see these.
ASIMOV
Eel git ze nipsick. Yiss, I bit the Kiptin vould ivvin vahnt von fir ze breej.
LEAH
We shouldn’t keep the others waiting.
ASIMOV
I knows a sickrit vay into ze ship zat nobiddy news abit.
LEAH
Really?
ASIMOV
Yip. I finned it vehn I vas treeing to git bick me licky pinny thit fill down a dwain wince.
LEAH
Musta been some lucky penny.
ASIMOV
Yes, eat izz. I kint whit to see their smilling feces when zay see vaht ve brought fir zem. Ze Kiptin mee not even vahnt to keel me innymore.
LEAH
The captain’ll probably jump for joy.
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