Scene 6.01 - Opening Credits
ANIMATION STYLE 2
TILT UP FROM NOWHERE
(Dearest Reader, please, peruse the following: This is a long paragraph that on the surface says nothing of consequence but inwardly says everything of importance; for it is the truth. Very few people have any love for a writer. Perhaps only you, Dear Reader, and then perhaps for only the exalted author who has long passed from this world. When I'm seeking visual artistic stimuli through painting and the occasion occurs where a friend visits me, he or she can see the progress right there on the easel: one can see the efforts made, one can witness the result of long, lonely hours of sacrifice. This is never the case for a written draft. It isn't easy to write a book, and it certainly isn't easy to write a good one, and it's even harder for an author to keep it good once it has been written in draft form; for the good author is also a good editor -- and is forever cursed with maternal, Medean eyes: Alone, the author sees a third-trimester monstrosity that could either be a triumph or a travesty, and merciful miscarriages come easily to the discerning writer -- as there's little difference between tact and fact; a mere inversion of a stroke of a letter. I write only for you Dear Reader, and for future readers who will read this long after I have passed from this world. If an author or a poet writes to receive immediate encouragement or imminent praise, then certainly that author or poet has grand misconceptions about the industry. The masses conservatively reserve their applause for the actor, or for the musician. Praise and support seldom comes to a writer when a writer needs it most -- when the writer is actually writing the work. This appreciation for a writer is seldom found in critics and publishers, but there are notable exceptions. Therefore, out of artistic respect, I must point out a few little contributions to the world of writing that make the endeavor of creating this book possible. Five of the ten most-ripped-off fantasy and science fiction world-views are cited below -- I, however, don't intend to rip them off as others seem to do without constraint; I choose to merely parody these works and provide homage under fair use; and invite readers to purchase and enjoy the original works as I have done. Give to Caesar what is Caesar's: Attribute to Christ what was said by Christ...)
PAN LEFT TO NOWHERE
(Thanks to: The Ancient Greeks for Greek Mythology; J.R.R. Tolkien for The Hobbit, or There and Back Again [Book Series] 1937-; STAR TREK [Television Series] By Gene Roddenberry, 1966-; STAR WARS [Film Series] By George Lucas, 1977-.)
PEDESTAL DOWN TO SOMEWHERE ELSE
(There's four of the five... now for the fifth:)
ZOOM IN FROM SOMEWHERE ELSE
(This chapter is drawn from a specific work created within an established pantheon of science fiction; known by many, but not by all: I write of the diverse and intricate world known as DUNE. After many failures by many other directors, David Lynch wrote a complete screenplay of Frank Herbert's best-read book and after many others had failed, he was the first to be able to get it produced and released in theaters, so let's give him credit -- even if, like me, you're not exactly a big fan of his dark artistic weirdness. To best enjoy the humor found in this chapter, please feel free to consult the original, copyrighted works through which this critique aims to parody: DUNE [Book Series], By Frank Herbert, 1965-; DUNE [Screenplay, Seventh Draft] By David Lynch, 1983-; DUNE [Film], By David Lynch, 1984-. This work is completely transformative -- and if you haven't read or seen the works from which I am drawing material, please know that the "green" slant is solely and soulessly mine. Happy reading!)
BLACKOUT
SILENCE
(From studio black to video black)
ANIMATION STYLE 4
FADE IN
SLOW, SUSPENSE MUSIC UP
(Gold azalea petals fall from the skies. We see a field of gold things; money, watches, trophies, medals, teeth, etc.)
CG1: Part Six - Man vs. Marijuana.
PAUSE: Three seconds.
CG2: Welcome To The Jungle
PAUSE: 120 Frames.
FX: The CG letters get smoked away. Pause.
FULL ORCHESTRATION, GRANDIOSE THEME MUSIC UP
(Waving in the breeze is a GOLD DRAPE.)
CG: Directed By [Director’s Name]
CG: Screenplay By Jynx
LOSE CG
(Dissolve in: The Universe, clocks, horizons, rocketships, waving U.S. Flag, Americana, etc.; all projected-on the gold, rolling drape. Music is at three-quarters, softer and lighter. Super-impose hot pics of the cast, circa 9969.)
CG: Starring: [Run additional credits.]
BLACKOUT
CG: This story is true. Names have been changed so no one gets busted.
LOSE CG
SILENCE
FTB