Scene 7.10 - The Real World, Part 7
ANIMATION STYLE 2
EST: INT. Mess Hall, Enrapture
(AZALEA is performing stage tricks to a captive audience. Everyone, save BUNION and AZALEA are dressed in military dress formals. RONNIE is speaking with the WELLS, aside, gazing through one of the many porthole windows.)
PYROTECHNICS
WELLS
See? We're on a fixed course, it's just a little delay. The red alert is already back to yellow- (Nods to AZALEA, in the background, making fire.) the show goes on; there's nothing to worry about-
RONNIE
I see any deviation from our course as something worthy of my concern. Call your bridge.
WELLS
(Flicks a button near a small speaker:) George to bridge.
CLARKE V.O.
(Voice from little box:) Clark here, what is it, Doctor?
WELLS
This ion storm's got everyone's panties in a bind, namely, the brass. Why was there a red alert? The Admiral wants to speak with the captain.
RONNIE
Lieutenant Commander Clark, why are we orbiting New Trinity? Where's the captain?
CLARKE V.O.
(Pause.) We're safely orbiting the planet, there is no longer any danger to anyone aboard, Admiral. Please, continue with the festivities and I will be down presently to explain our course alteration and will assist you in getting the ceremony underway.
RONNIE
I'm comin' up there. Where's Captain Sickle?
CLARKE V.O.
Admiral, I will be down presently to explain. Clark out.
CUT TO: Bridge, Enrapture
(There's just CLARKE, RAMONA and ASIMOV. It looks lonely. It's about to get more lonely.)
CLARKE
Mr. Isaac, I will be away, you have the com. Keep her floating. Once Mr. Roberts has received the shuttlecraft from New Trinity, notify me.
ASIMOV
Aye sir.
(He's out. There's a pause. ASIMOV goes back to tedious duties. RAMONA pulls out a nail-file and pops in a stick of bubblegum.)
ASIMOV (Cont'd)
(Measured and slow:) Litinnent Rimmearo-
RAMONA
(Legs propped up on rail, great pantyline, doing nails:) No, don't even think you're gonna pull rank with me, Zachariah. This is MY bridge, and ALL you honkeys know that. You keep flyin' it in a straight line, and I'll keep listenin' in, and if I hear something different, you'll hear something different. Ai't?
ASMIOV
Yessear, E mean yesmim, Eye vas jist... uh, suggisting zat ve use ze commander's replikitter... so ve kin do all ze dooteez ziss -- uh, jour breej requeers.
RAMONA
(Gets up.) Now you're thinkin' Zack! (Crosses to captain's chair, punches-up a Captain-sized, kind-bud blunt with a tap of the magic button. ASIMOV throws it on autopilot and crosses to the ship's hardest toker.) Here, down in the chair, you're in charge now, right? Right. I'll give you a neck massage, I bet sitting slumped-over that panel gets real old, don't it?
(Loving the feel of the chair, the massaging stroke of RAMONA'S strong left hand and the flavor of the Angorian Relaxin' Red Powerhouse Seedless Kind-Bud, he melts into the chair and closes his eyes as he drifts an arm upward to pass the blunt, and as it passes, falls limply into the cushion-ey fabric of the captain's soft-leathery chair.)
ASIMOV
Yiss, yiss, yiss...
CUT TO: INT. MESS HALL
(Everyone is at attention, save BUNION, who stands solemnly. CLARKE and RONNIE are onstage, facing AZALEA.)
RONNIE
Commodore Zale, on behalf-
AZALEA
Wait! One second! I'm not dressed for a medal!
(She zips into her onstage magic closet and returns immediately in her military dress uniform. The audience applauds.)
CLARKE
(Humored, as RONNIE is presented a box from BUNION, below:) Commodore, for valor and humanitarian acts far above and beyond the call of duty, you are awarded The Circle Of Amber, an award that serves as a Universal reminder of the nature of life, and it's transitory mysteries.
(As RONNIE is about to drape the chain about her neck-)
AZALEA
Oh! It's such a pretty necklace! Let me get better-dressed for the occasion!
(She darts into the closet once more and returns in a stunning, formal, sleeve-less, evening gown that matches the color of the polished amber stone perfectly. Her matching silk gloves nearly reach her elbows. Her heels make her two inches taller.)
RONNIE
Well, you're certainly taller!
(AZALEA winks at RONNIE and she places the necklace around her neck. Applause.)
AZALEA
I have one small acceptance speech and a very important announcement, but I first want to thank all of you for coming and before we all get down-off this stage and everybody commences to drinking and dancing, I'd like to thank a few of the people who made this trick possible.
(She darts into the closet. Bach's "Little Fugue" plays from the box. A hologram exits, dressed in black.)
AZALEA 1
(As a traditional magician.) High, I'm the gal you saw cut-to-pieces in the first trick.
(Applause. Another comes forth.)
AZALEA 2
(As a wizard:) And I made myself melt in a vat of acid.
(Applause. An old-school, lav-suit-wearing astronaut AZALEA comes forth.)
AZALEA 3
You saw me explode in space!
(Applause. The militarily-dressed Azalea comes forth from the box.)
AZALEA 4
And well, you'll have to wait until I'm on duty to see my real disappearing act...
(Laughs.)
ALL AZALEA HOLOGRAMS TOGETHER
And now for the lady who is going to make The Enrapture disappear-
(They open the box together. There is nothing inside.)
AZALEA 1
(Checks inside of top hat:) Where could she be?
AZALEA 2
(Waves wand, looks about:) Is she in the room?
AZALEA 3
I could check outside...
AZALEA 4
Squad, form up, we gotta find this girl-
(They all march about the room, occasionally "going through" people, unaware. RONNIE, the plant, stays in place, on her mark, so as to be there when they return from their single-file looking adventure and all "bump-into" RONNIE-)
AZALEA 1
Whoops! Pardon me!
AZALEA 2
Watch where you're going!
AZALEA 3
Make way!
AZALEA 4
My bad, mam.
RONNIE
(Her only real line:) So, we all give up, where is she?
(The holograms turn slowly toward the window-)
AZALEA 1
What's that vibration?
AZALEA 2
Is that what I think it is?
(RONNIE smirks, seeing that the timing is off and there is no vibration from a departing shuttlecraft. The audience is a little confused.)
AZALEA 3
It's a shuttlecraft! It's coming around to see us!
AZALEA 4
Who's aboard?
AZALEA 1
It's the Commodore!
AZALEA 2
But she's where we should be and we're where she should be!
AZALEA 3
Let's trade places with her!
AZALEA 4
Good idea!
(The four holograms suddenly manifest into nearby space, where, instead of exploding, carry-on as if aboard a shuttlecraft flying through space. The invisible craft swings-around and the four holograms give a close-up wave and bow to the crew before fading away, unaware that the trick has gone horribly wrong.)
RONNIE
That's- not how it was supposed to happen.
(A little nervous laughter. The group stands, transfixed. It sure wasn't the ending to the show they were expecting.)
CLARKE
Computer, where is the Commodore?
FEMALE COMPUTER
The Commodore is not aboard this ship, sir.
RONNIE
What? She was supposed to beam into the shuttlebay-
CLARKE
(At monitor:) Clarke to shuttlebay-
HEINLEIN V.O.
Roberts here, sir! I was about to- Nealry all of the crew is boarded, sir. My brother's right here next to me! Only bumps and bruises and they're all in good spir-
CLARKE
Is the Commodore in the shuttlebay with you?
HEINLEIN V.O.
The Commodore? (Pause.) No, why?
CLARKE
There was a mishap in her magic act.
HEINLEIN
No one here but us, sir. What's happened, sir?
CLARKE
I need you to meet me on the bridge. The Commodore has disappeared.
HEINLEIN
Shuttle Two is here and unoccupied. Sir, if she was beaming into Shuttle One, that's been taken by the captain-
CLARKE
Mr. Roberts, please locate the position of the captain's shuttle and report. Computer, visual. (A hologram of CAMEO SEVEN and HEINLEIN close together in the shuttlebay, minor revelry in the background as the shuttlecraft from New Trinity is unloaded.) What is the status of shuttlecraft one, Mr. Roberts?
HEINLEIN
Sorry, sir, seeing my brother again, got m- Sir, sir! Shuttlecraft One has been... destroyed!
CLARKE
Explain.
HEINLEIN V.O.
We were tracking it, but the ion storm get the readings all screwy but now it's a flat pulse, a trailing energy signature of a fuel explosion- no life readings!
CLARKE
The Captain's shuttle has exploded?
HEINLEIN V.O.
I spoke in haste, sir. I need to confirm these figures on the bridge to be sure, find out the shuttle's last position-
CLARKE
Meet me on the bridge -- keep your rescue detail assembled and ensure the crew of the Archemedes finds comfortable quarters. Report to your station immediately after. I need your help to find out what happened to the captain.
HEINLEIN V.O.
Aye, sir.
RONNIE
Look, I don't want to step on your toes-
CLARKE
Admiral, please accompany me to the bridge, I will need your invaluable counsel.
WELLS
I'll tag along. Bumps and bruises don't require my attention -- I want to know first-hand what is really happening here -- and don't go citing those tired old regulations to me, Clark -- you know I won't back down.
CLARKE
Noted, Doctor. Ship, red alert. All hands report to stations. This is not a drill.
BUNION
What do you need me to do?
CLARKE
Look through the log tapes recorded during the magic act, keep this place untouched. The Commodore is somewhere...
WELLS
Well, I for one, could use a tall one.
BUNION
I'll send it up to you. (Produces another mace blunt.) With one o' these.
(They don't wait for anything to get sent up anywhere. Even the few lingerers who were loitering-around the hall with no particular duty station to report to are summoned by the alien herb. CLARKE takes initiative and sparks it like an old-hand.)
CLARKE
We'll take a small smoke-break first and get our heads together. (Heavy toke.) We've got to find the Commodore, and the Captain. We must explore every possibility until the truth is discovered. (Heavier toke, passes to RONNIE as the circle gets a little bigger.) Admiral, we cannot leave any stone unturned.
FTB