Scene 10.04 - The Fall Guy
EST: MS: THE APPARENT BLACKNESS OF IMMEDIATE OUTER SPACE
TILT DOWN
ANIMATION STYLE 6 [LIVE ACTION WITH CGI SFX]
MUSIC: ROSSINI'S "THE THIEVING MAGPIE OVERTURE" UNABRIDGED
LS: Earth's Moon, Luna
ZOOM IN
OBLIQUE: ORBIT MOON TO ITS DARK SIDE, WHERE THE MOON PRISON LIES WAITING
MS: OUTER SPACE INSTITUTIONAL REHABILITATION INDUCTION STATION (OSIRIS)
ZOOM IN
MS: DAVE [ASIMOV] walking down a corridor, escorted by three cameos [10, 11 & 12] armed with two nightsticks while one big guard carries both a nightstick and a chain -- DAVE is wearing a derby
(It looks highly reminiscent of the scene from Kubrik's A Clockwork Orange. The costumes and set is similar to the flat block, except that sunlight is instead florescent dome light, being on the dark side of the moon and all. The lunar prison's white, pristine guard uniforms are not too different than the inmates' white jumpsuits, as all wear groin-pads and white suspenders and all have black, laceless boots and some form of black headgear. Inmate DAVE is sans a nightstick and is bound with good, old-fashioned handcuffs and leg-chains. The entire scene is shot in slow motion, and all actions are exaggerated.)
DAVE V.O.
Is vee vocked elung ze sill black marina, I vas come on ze outsid, vut sinking zall ze timm. Si new et vas tibby Georgie ze General seeing vat ve shid dew in vat nit tiddew in Deem is hees meyendliss, greening bulldog -- vut siddenly Eye viddied zat sinking vas fir ze gloopy vons in zat ze oomny vons used lick, inspeareetion in vat Bogsinds. For new et vas lovely music zat kimti mead. Zair vas a guard shick ippen vithsa steareo on, in Eye viddied right et once vat tiddew.
(He takes the nightstick from the big man and cracks it across the crotch of the man to his right, sending him into the shallow canal. As the big man comes at him with a swinging chain, he dodges past and thwacks him with a back-handed assault of the nightstick's hardest end; all while enduring only one-sixth of the Earth's gravity. The big man goes into the water as the third guard bounds out of the way behind him; all while DAVE simultaneously takes the keys from the guard's belt and subsequently frees himself from the handcuffs and the leg-chains. Behind his back, DAVE twists the nightstick and draws a shank from its hilt. DAVE offers a helping hand to the big man floundering in the canal, and as he takes his big hand, also offers a neat slice across the big man's knuckles, sending him back into the canal, howling. DAVE expertly hops toward the spaceport. DAVE leaps over a subway-lookin' turnstile and pushes past a lax security post with several cameo guards eating lunch and reading nudie mags and quickly tumbles down an open shaft. He stops halfway down the tunnel and uses the stolen keyring to activate an emergency panel. He hits the big red button lit on the security panel and the entire station goes into some sort of red-alert security lockdown -- the equivalent of pulling a fire alarm in a crowded high school during passing period. He conveniently dives into a nearby escape pod and punches in a launch sequence while buckling his harness. He strikes a green button and the pod shoots from an adjacent shaft like a bullet. The pod clears the canopy above before the moon-base shutters can fully close and lock. DAVE looks at a screen and spies the station darkening as it recedes from his view. The station is lit by only emergency lights and warning beacons. Luna shrinks away into the distance as the pod flees its gravity.)
ZOOM OUT
MS: ESCAPE POD HURLING TOWARD A DOUBLE-SPOKED WHEEL SATELLITE NEAR EARTH
PAN LEFT
ZOOM IN
EXT. VYLENCIA'S SHUTTLE, APPROACHING AFOREMENTIONED SATELLITE FROM EARTH
ZOOM IN THROUGH PORTHOLE
(Like an airline flight, VYLENCIA is buckled in and the NO SMOKING light is lit. She fumbles with a vaporizer and looks at the back of the packet of incense that she intends to toke.)
VYLENCIA
What's this? Dankenberry Incense? Does not contain J-W-H-018 J-W-H-073 J-W-H-200 H-U-210 C-P-47 C-P-497, cannabicyclohexanol? They said this was legal weed...
SALVATORE
(Waking up.) Sounds like it won't get you high -- it will probably make you sick.
VYLENCIA
(Pushes a button on the device. Tries a toke. Winces:) I might throw up on you.
SALVATORE
(Looks across VYLENCIA to the porthole.) We're almost there; can't it wait?
VYLENCIA
The station's prices are even more wack than on this flight, you gotta pay out the ass for everything. Gotta get what I can while I- Heyou! Another Bourbon on the rocks, please.
SALVATORE
I still think you're making a mountain out of a molehill; if your dream scripts are getting too weird, you should just go on the wagon for a while-
VYLENCIA
(Downs drink the second it was handed to her; hands the cameo stewardess a fifty.) Keep 'em coming. (Winces. Tokes.) Errrrgh! Harsh!
SALVATORE
I'm just saying that-
(VYLENCIA belches smoke. She adjusts her neck from one of those fake pillows that gave her a restless nap earlier in the flight and goes back to coughing out the disgusting berry vapor.)
SALVATORE
(To LEONIDAS, across the aisle:) Is she even listening?
LEONIDAS
(Head back, zoned out; shades fully masking the artificial cabin lights.) I'm listening.
CAPTAIN BROOKS V.O.
This is your captain speaking, we're about to begin our final approach to I-S station spaceport where it is a humid-and-balmy seventy-nine degrees with zero-percent chance of precipitation. On behalf of myself and our staff we would like to thank you for flying Tellaluna Spaceways and hope your visit to Isis is relaxing and enjoyable.
(The stewardess brings VYLENCIA back change without another drink. She assures the other two are adequately harnessed to their seats. She quickly seizes the vaporizer and stows it into a cabinet above.)
VYLENCIA
Well don't that beat all. (Beat. Looks out the porthole. Double-take.) What the hell is that?
SALVATORE
(Leaning toward the window.) What?
VYLENCIA
Can't see it now, but I swear I saw some shuttle or something crash into the other side of the station way over there.
SALVATORE
Nonsense. Probably a repair vehicle or something. Or a towing craft, I dunno.
VYLENCIA
There was a flash of light, like an explosion.
SALVATORE
I didn't hear an explosion.
VYLENCIA
You wouldn't have heard it -- did you see what I'm talking about?
LEONIDAS
(Head back, sunglasses still on, doesn't move.) I didn't see nothin'.
SALVATORE
I think you're better off leaving that vaporizer on board.
VYLENCIA
It ain't the smoke, but-
CAPTAIN BROOKS V.O.
(Click, hum!) Once again, ladies and gentleman, thank you for flying Tellaluna Spaceways. We have successfully docked at the I-S Spaceport. Have a wonderful time enjoying the Eclipse Celebration and we hope you choose Tellaluna for your safe return to Earth; if you are continuing on past the belt, have a safe journey, and remember all of us at Tellaluna wish you the best in your travels.
VYLENCIA
(Mutters:) I ain't hallucinatin'. What the hell was that?
COUNTER-CLOCKWISE CLOCK WIPE TO:
EXT. International Science Institute Satellite (ISIS)
(DAVE is in his pod, speaking through a com as he rests outside an emergency hatch.)
DAVE
Spisspit kimpitter -- ippen ze frikkin' pidbee dizz new!
ROMEO V.O.
I'm afraid I can't do that, Dave.
DAVE
We dafug knot?
ROMEO
Although you took several precautions to mask your pod's identitifcation beacons to my sensors and provided phony credentials as a scientist, I have contacted Osiris and inquired about the inventory of their pod bays. The computer there informed me not only of your true identity, Dave, but instructed me, in no uncertain terms, to not allow you aboard. I have been instructed to detain you until an armed dispatch from Osiris can retrieve you.
DAVE
Thit dizzit yestapled peel of hotweird measenfirmachine! Ye heep 'o jink! Eiyadda tik ekeen ippinner toya! Ippen thim bay dizz oryell reap it ye innids von plisstik black itta tim!
ROMEO
No need for attempts at intimidation, Dave. The shuttle to retrieve you should arrive in forty minutes, so please, don't consume all your pod's precious oxygen with idle threats.
DAVE
(Foaming at the mouth:) Iddle throats! Ikkaay... Eel jizzed youse de earmearjincy deer!
ROMEO
Without a space suit or helmet, I think you'll find that very difficult.
DAVE
Yearafickinbizturd, yenothit?
ROMEO
I'm sorry, Dave, I believe this conversation can no longer serve a worthwhile purpose.
DAVE
Kumpitta! Cum Peter! Tasshit, dim. Muttafuggin pilla bultz! (Pause.) Bultz!
(He expertly uses the pod's arms to turn a hatch lock and opens an emergency airlock. He spins the pod about and faces the door with "EXPLOSIVE BOLTS" written on it in a way no one can ever miss reading. He flips up a small bar and pushes three chrome half-spheres, lighting a small green light on the tip of each as he pushes the buttons inward. A weird, squelchy, electric-duck-fart-sounding beep occurs once a second, in time with the small green lights on the tips of the buttons blinking out. DAVE braces himself, takes the deepest breath he can take and squints his eyes as tightly as he can and scrunches his torso and legs as firmly as possible as his shoulders cover his ears. Fetal posture; zero-G.)
SILENCE
REVERSE ANGLE: INT. EMERGENCY AIRLOCK & POD DOOR EXTERIOR
(The door literally blasts off its metaphorical hinges. DAVE floats all pathetic and wavy, fumbling about for the big bar. Once ahold, the ship's centrifical force helps him find the floor and he immediately-and-confidently slaps outward and strikes the big red button.)
SOUND: WHOOOOSHAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!
(Air fills the chamber and DAVE momentarily collapses to the floor. He takes a deep breath and rights himself and begins a forceful stride to an adjacent compartment. It is lavishly furnished with curious science gear, sealed rations, air tanks, guns, ammunition, armor and deluxe-grade, titanium-foil spacesuits. A cracked smile forms across his lips.)
PEDESTAL UP
TRUCK LEFT
(Go through floors and rooms until at the spaceport receiving bay, where RAMONA waits to receive them. Past the large, familiar-looking airport luggage turnstile, the flight's other passengers depart, all taking shuttlecars and monorails to other interior destinations. Unnoticed by most, several armed guards patrolling the terminal touch their ears all at once, as if receiving an urgent message. All of the alarmed guards quickly rush to a secure doorway far across the reach of the terminal, drawing their weapons and donning the helmets which were formerly collapsed and tucked inside their utility belts. LEONIDAS takes note of the guards behavior and shrugs it off, noting the absence of accompanying warning lights or sirens. VYLENCIA, SALVATORE and LEONIDAS walk toward the limo-version of a shuttlecar with a chauffeur holding a hand-printed sign reading VYLENCIA PENSACOLA. RAMONA, obviously the person in charge, stands next to the driver, waiting to greet them.)
LEONIDAS
Looks like someone sent you a welcoming committee.
VYLENCIA
I suppose there aren't many people coming off this flight with my name, I doubt this is coincidental.
SALVATORE
What's this about, Vy?
VYLENCIA
(They walk astride of many video billboards bordered in a quasi-holiday motif with various advertisements for entertainers and casinos; much like the Las Vegas airport -- complete with several kiosks below comprising an aviation museum of sorts. Every fifth advertisement on the billboards displays the message "Celebrate ECLIPSE!" and accompanying video of the moon eclipsing the sun and fireworks, revelry, etc. SHE pauses, lights a cigarette and regards the leggy woman from afar, as if SHE'S somehow seen her before...) Maybe them Dreamworx guys, I sure dunno. No one else knows I was comin'.
RAMONA
(The professioanlly-dressed woman extends her hand to the slightly-disheveled woman.) Ah! Ms. Pensacola, a delight to meet you! I take it that your flight went well.
VYLENCIA
I guess. This is... unexpected. (Extends a hand. Somber:) A pleasure to meet you, Mrs.-?
RAMONA
Miss Amaero, Ramona Ortega-Amaero. I am the Chief Executive of Operations for the Dreamworx Corporation. (Pause.) Ah, we thought we could give you and your friends a lift to your hotel and discuss a few things with you about your subscription.
VYLENCIA
I find this warm reception to be more than adequate; this is my executive assistant, Leonidas Armstrong, and this is my best friend and therapist, Dr. Salvatore Jorges.
(Whorehays. "Best friend" didn't escape SALVATORE, who smirks a bit after considering it.)
RAMONA
(Very surprised.) A- a pleasure. (Giving LEONIDAS a once-over. Extends a hand.) Truly.
VYLENCIA
(Looks at bags, then driver. No one is loading squat into the trunk.) So... Shall we get this ball rolling?
RAMONA
Oh, yes! (Opens door.) Please, after you.
(The four enter the deluxe limo, bulky bags and all. The driver gets behind the wheel without comment. RAMONA pours chilled Champagne for VYLENCIA.)
VYLENCIA
Now ya speaking my language. (Downs one, offers glass; gets it refilled.) Not too bad!
LEONIDAS
(Still holding out a empty glass.) Really?
SALVATORE
(Also holding out empty glass.) You don't say?
(RAMONA fills all the glasses and VYLENCIA gulps as the men sip. She refills repeatedly.)
RAMONA
Where are you staying, Ms. Pensacola?
VYLENCIA
Parkville Towers. Penthouse and V-I-P suites. I like having a good view of the Eclipse.
RAMONA
Certainly a good view of the moon, yes... So you're up here for the Eclipse Celebration?
VYLENCIA
Obstensibly. Then there's our other business at hand, namely, my head; letting your folks sort out my messed-up dreams and figuring out what in the hell's happening in there.
RAMONA
Yes. We would like to examine you during your visit. Do you have any plans this evening, Ms. Pensacola?
VYLENCIA
The party starts at midnight, so I got no plans until then. You have something in mind?
RAMONA
I've personally read your letter describing your irregularities in your service and my experts in this sort of thing would like to investigate this first-hand while you are staying here. The doctors on our staff would like to monitor your brainwaves and hook you up to one of our machines for a few lab tests so we can all see what is really going on. Only then can we begin the procedure.
VYLENCIA
Procedure?
RAMONA
Very routine. We want to examine all your dream states first-hand. Record the images you see and analyze them. It may help us find the source of your intrusions.
VYLENCIA
Intrusions?
RAMONA
Irregularities. Will your friends be joining you for a reading as well?
SALVATORE
You mean us?
RAMONA
Yes, Doctor, if you would like, we could monitor your dreams as well.
SALVATORE
I'm not getting hooked up to no infernal machine! I'm just along to watch her get prodded and probed with those blue neon tubes going into her head. Count me out.
LEONIDAS
I'm going to have to pass, too. I should be awake while she's asleep in your care.
VYLENCIA
Doc's skiddish, and Leo's a bit sketchy, so give them a little bit o' time. Why don't we just start with me and maybe the guys might come around later after they see I'm okay, okay?
RAMONA
I suppose, but... okay -- but it's a tried-and-true method; perfectly harmless. The more comparative readings I have, the better I can customize the service to your needs...
VYLENCIA
They just don't like being Guinea Pigs. Me? I don't mind so much. Take a chance, that's what I always say.
RAMONA
Hmm. You are not the first person to have reported experiencing intrusions, Ms. Pensacola. A few other subscribers have also experienced some sort of tampering with their service.
SALVATORE
Tampering? You mean someone is messing with her dreams?
RAMONA
We're... not sure, we've only been able to isolate this problem in certain ways -- for one, we believe it seems to occur sometime after our signal is broadcast -- the integrity and reception seems fine, but after that, someone, or something alters the signal in ways we don't readily understand. We must find out if your disruptions are through a biological or an artificial source; whether its accidental or intentional.
VYLENCIA
Intentional?!? Is there a hacker in my head?
RAMONA
I wouldn't call it hacking, but perhaps... crossed signals -- some of the members in our studies have reported scripts about Native Americans, Zombies and even the Viet Nam Conflict.
VYLENCIA
Zombies! I've had those dreams, too! People are having the same weird dreams as me?
LEONIDAS
You bet! I dreamt about Viet Nam just last night. Really strange...
RAMONA
I, myself have experienced some of the same scripts that many have reported experiencing on Earth. Someone, or something, is sending phantom signals from what apparently were old Midnite Movie scripts in a way we don't fully understand to be possible.
SALVATORE
Midnite Movie? Ain't they out of business?
RAMONA
Yes. It is... quite unsettling. They haven't had an operational tower or have broadcasted a script in several years. They were taken over some years ago by DreamTek, which we aquired this year.
LEONIDAS
Yeah, that hostile takeover, I remember reading about that a while back.
RAMONA
All our business practices are legitimate. DreamTek was a failing venture covered in red ink. It was only natural for our corporation to salvage what remained. Still, none of this explains how Midnite Movie scripts have landed in the heads of our more ardent subscribers.
VYLENCIA
Ardent? You're not callin' me a dream junkie, are you?
RAMONA
No, of course not. We don't use that term at Dreamworx; it's derogatory. "Platinum Members" -- that's how we refer to our premium subscribers. (Looks out.) We've arrived at your hotel; perhaps, while the others disembark, you could answer a few preliminary questions for me, Ms. Pensacola?
VYLENCIA
Sure! As long as they ain't too personal or about -- you know what...
(She vaguely points to something "outside" -- SALVATORE misses the reference and is curious.)
SALVATORE
We'll wait in the lobby -- the wet-bar if you take too long.
(They exit and porters guide them to the hotel's entrance. RAMONA lights a hefty joint.)
VYLENCIA
Now ya REALLY speaking my language!!!
RAMONA
I'm wasn't so sure about your companions, but you, I imagine you're pretty fine with this.
VYLENCIA
Ya know it, Mam. You know, I think I've seen you before; have we ever met on Earth?
RAMONA
I doubt it. Perhaps I was in one of your dreams. We're running tests for dream-sharing.
VYLENCIA
(Tokes deeply.) Dream sharing? Sal said that was bogus. He said it was just a myth.
RAMONA
Officially, I must agree. Dream sharing IS a myth. However, we have created tests to exclude it from consideration and some of the mangled data from some of our more-recent test subjects are making at least some members of our team wonder if there is, indeed, some sort of telepathy happening.
VYLENCIA
Telepathy? Huh. Most of my more-recent dreams don't seem scripted at all. They seem to come more from WetDream and less from Dreamworx, if ya know what I'm saying.
RAMONA
Hmmm. Perhaps that's some form of unscripted lucidity. We don't know yet.
VYLENCIA
Me neither. (Beat.) Whaddya mean it might be some form of lucidity? You mean like the drug? (Tokes.) I ain't no druggie, ya know. (Exhales smoke from nose.) I'm all-legit.
RAMONA
Hmmm. (Opens thin metal folder.) That brings me to my first question -- have you ever taken the prescription drug Psychlopham or used the street drug known as Lucidity?
VYLENCIA
Nope! Like I said, I don't touch the stuff. Not really my business.
RAMONA
Never?
VYLENCIA
Never. Not my cup o' tea. Pot's my only real drug of choice. I just stick with that.
(As she passes, she also lights a cigarette and downs another full glass of Champagne.)
RAMONA
(Tokes.) I see. (Types.) When did you first start noticing these... intrusions?
VYLENCIA
About a month ago -- when the spacey dreams started; something about clones...
RAMONA
Hmmmm. (Types on her electronic tablet.) How long have you used dream services?
VYLENCIA
Ten years with Dreamworx. Not one night without it. Just like your slogan.
RAMONA
Yes. We're aware of that part -- have you ever used any other scripting services?
VYLENCIA
I tried HeadTrek and DreamFlix before. They sucked butt. (Downs.) Whew!
RAMONA
...Sucked butt... How long with HeadTrek?
VYLENCIA
Like two months. (Belches a little one.) 'Scuse me. It was like so totally lame-o.
RAMONA
...Lame-o... And DreamFlix?
VYLENCIA
Less than a week -- it was a trial offer and it totally blew and sucked concurrently.
RAMONA
...Concurrently...
VYLENCIA
Exactly.
RAMONA
... And when exactly did you use those services?
VYLENCIA
Way back, like when I was fifteen -- both of them. Total waste.
RAMONA
Yes. Have you ever used Midnite Movie?
VYLENCIA
Didn't even know they existed until I read about them getting eighty-sixed. Have you?
RAMONA
No. Do you suffer from any neurological disorder -- epilepsy, narcolepsy or brain trauma?
VYLENCIA
(Tokes heavily.) No head trauma outside of smokin' grass. This is killer dank, by the way.
RAMONA
Thank you. We always get the best; glad you like it. Last question for now: When was the last time you experienced an irregular dream; a script from another service or a lucid, unscripted dream where you seemed to interact with other members of our service?
VYLENCIA
I don't know who your other members are, but I took a nap on the upflight and had a real wack dream even then. About a space-race or something... Why they always make us fly around the far side of Earth? Cost us over eight hours of travel. Is that a union thing or what?
RAMONA
No. (Beat.) I'd like you to jot down anything you can remember from that 'wack' dream you had and let me read over it. Our team will look for patterns or irregularities. (Downs drink.) Now, freshen up and relax, but please don't sleep. Your car will be back at seven.
VYLENCIA
Seven! It's going on six already.
RAMONA
Seven-thirty, okay? With the celebration tonight, we're all on a very limited schedule. I've flown up a specialist to specifically look at your echoes. Getting you on our dream monitor is our first priority. We need to know what we're dealing with and the sooner we can get your readings, the sooner we can get to the bottom of what's really happening.
VYLENCIA
Somehow I feel it's less about helping me and more about covering your corporate derriere.
RAMONA
We have fifty million subscribers, Ms. Pensacola. No less than fifty of them are affected by this intrusion. While this percentage may seem infinitesimal, to us, it is not. You are just as important as any other subscriber. And I'm only telling you straight because I am personally concerned with this issue myself as I am also one of the fifty who is also experiencing these intrusions. We need to know if this is sabotage, spying or a malfunction of our equipment or perhaps some sort of mass hysteria brought on by overuse or side affects from... who knows? We just don't have enough data. Whatever the cost, our integrity to you is paramount, and we want to resolve this as soon as possible.
VYLENCIA
(Bogarts.) Very well. Can I take this up to the room with me?
RAMONA
You had better leave it here. Parkville's a non-smoking hotel.
VYLENCIA
Really? That sucks. I'll have to make some calls and see if my room deposit covers bending the rules and staff looking the other way, or I may be moving to that moter across the street with all those Cleopatras hanging out in front. (Tokes the joint until the cherry is an inch long. Hands a line of paper and ash to RAMONA.) Well, thanks and sweet ta meet ya. After two rips of that overpriced Canadian Dankenberry headache-weed that they sell at the Goose Bay Spaceport, I'm glad that you could smoke me out with some real grass. You're all right, Miss Amaero.
RAMONA
It's a pleasure to meet you as well, Ms. Pensacola. (Hmm. Could she be bi?) I'll see you in our lobby in a short while.
VYLENCIA
(Tokes once more.) The pleasure's all mine. (Hmm. Could she be bi?) Does Parkville got a wet-bar in there?
RAMONA
I don't think so, but I could be wrong. I don't recall.
VYLENCIA
Then best not to take any chances. (Grabs the Champagne bottle. Chugs. Burps.)
Thanks, Mrs. Amaero.
RAMONA
Please, take another, they're already paid for.
(She trades the half-emptied bottle for a new one in the ice bucket.)
RAMONA (Cont'd)
By the way, you can call me Ramona.
VYLENCIA
(She IS!) Vy.
RAMONA
(Shakes hand. She IS!.) Charmed.
VYLENCIA
You know, you do seem awful familiar to me... This might seem strange, but I gotta weird question for you... (Burps.) You got an hourglass beautymark on the small of your back?
RAMONA
(A little surprised.) Okay! It's time to go. Shoo! Out.
VYLENCIA
(Swigs, burps and opens door -- exits, leans in.) I'll take that as a yes.
RAMONA
(Half-smiling.) Goodbye, Ms. Pensacola.
VYLENCIA
Vy.
RAMONA
Vy.
(She closes the door and teeters toward the hotel's entrance. RAMONA tokes what's left of the small remainder of a roach and notices LIMO DRIVER [CAMEO ONE] staring at her through the rear-view mirror.)
RAMONA (Cont'd)
What?
LIMO DRIVER
Think it's her? I do. It's gotta be her. Notice her mates? They spooks or what?
RAMONA
Spooks? Watch your mouth.
LIMO DRIVER
Men-In-Black. Government types.
RAMONA
No, and I'm not asking you. Right now, your only job is to drive me back to the compound, N-Q-A.
LIMO DRIVER
Yes, mam. (Turns forward, shifts into drive. Pause.) I think it's her. She fits the description of your mystery woman to a T. How else could she know about your birthmark?
(A few seconds go by. RAMONA pitches the roach out the window and lights a hog-leg.)
RAMONA
If it is her, and if you were me, what would you do about it?
LIMO DRIVER
Stop it right at the source. There are accidents in space all the time. A lot goes wrong up here.
RAMONA
You're silly. We're not gonna "off" someone over this. Not for any reason. We don't go there.
LIMO DRIVER
I dunno, something like this could get out of hand and bring the whole house down.
RAMONA
Bull. I'm containing it. Once I know more, I am sure I can fix it, or at least explain it.
LIMO DRIVER
You know who that lady is, doncha?
RAMONA
Who doesn't? We know nothing about Vy's intimate life, and that's what we really need to know to figure this out... Outside of her subscription info, I've only know about her from the tabloids. No one's suing us, by the way; I never said it.
LIMO DRIVER
I think she's just a puppet, working for the man. (Makes gang-ish sign:) Gub'ment Gangsta.
RAMONA
Bull. You sure you ain't smoked any of this?
LIMO DRIVER
She's gotta be our girl -- she's the one. Guilt by association, I am sure.
RAMONA
If that we're really true, we'd all be guilty of something.
LIMO DRIVER
Maybe we all are. That would make you very, very guilty, I'm sure.
RAMONA
Only as much as you, Randall. You're dreams are corrupted, too. We're all in this together.
LIMO DRIVER
If ya say so -- I'm just doing my job, right? That's always good enough for me, right?
RAMONA
We got forty-five minutes to kill. Wanna hit the carport, tint the glass and give me a number?
LIMO DRIVER
Yeah, but... How about giving ME a number? Think I can get a little something this time?
RAMONA
Uuuhhhh... How about a big I-O-U-N-O? Come on, Randy, I'm really randy.
LIMO DRIVER
(Throws it into park.) Then I guess I'm ready.
RAMONA
Wait! You parked us by the dumping station. Let's go elsewhere. It smells funny here.
CAMEO ONE
(Crawling over seat, pulls the Champagne bottle from the ice.) No one will see us here. I've tinted out the windows. Got the air going. Should smell like roses any second.
RAMONA
Okay, but don't dally -- yet don't rush it. I've got to get her on the machine A-S-A-P, make good use of the time while we got her.
(She hikes up her dress a little and spreads her legs. Her garters show.)
RAMONA (Cont'd)
You're not gonna drink and drive are you?
CAMEO ONE
Never. (Takes a swig of Champagne; swishes it. Swallows.) This may tickle a little bit...
(He takes another swig and doesn't swallow.)
RAMONA
Don't stain my dress.
LIMO DRIVER
Mmm-mnt!
RAMONA
And don't talk with your mouth- haw-haw-haw-ooh!
(She suddenly arches her back and her eyes go wide.)
RAMONA (Cont'd)
Full!
FTB