Scene 8.13 - Metamorphosis
INT. Cargo Bay XIII, Timeship Ventura
(CLARKE, COMMODORE ZALE, TURNKEY [C25], CHIEF [C27], WELLS, ROMEO and NANCY are all in the Timeship Ventura's cargo bay, huddled around a small party cooler, toking up like there's no tomorrow. The noxious cloud of second-hand hemp smoke fills the vacuous room and the hangar-bay looks more like a speakeasy -- one that could accommodate several fighter ships or perhaps a bootlegging operation. Their voices echo throughout the dimly-lit and garishly-decorated chamber.)
MUSIC: TECHNO a la Gary Newman's "Metal," but more-like how Afrika Bambaataa did it
NANCY
(Tokes.) Wow, this stuff is killer!
COMMODORE ZALE
(Tokes.) I'll say!
WELLS
(Tokes.) I should take a few samples for my botanical experiments...
TURNKEY
(Tokes.) Manndistufizdabomb!
CHIEF
(Tokes.) Shoots! Primo pakalolo, brah!
ROMEO
I'm glad you all approve. This strain won't be introduced into the human biosphere for another seven centuries...
WELLS
While we're on that vein of discussion... you say this is a timeship?
CLARKE
Affirmative. The fastest in the fleet.
(ROMEO smiles.)
ROMEO
Mr. Clarke speaks true, nothing can stand against this vessel.
WELLS
Which brings me to a few pointed questions, Mr. Clarke...
CLARKE
(Raises an eyebrow, turns toward WELLS:) Yes, Doctor...
WELLS
(Resist the urge to look at the camera, but give in if you just gotta...) What I want to know, Clarke, is how in Hyderabad did you abduct the Baron from a 21st-Century pissing-fetish porno movie set and land up here on a timeship? And where's the Baron now? Verne can't get any of us back to reality without him.
CLARKE
(Tokes...) These worlds, these realities --- all visions, dreams, mere concoctions of the psyche. This ship, outerspace, Tellusia, even Earth ... all the same place, the same time -- only our minds trick us into thinking otherwise. Using age-old mental disciplines practiced by Virginians thoughout the centuries, I was able to phantasmically-connect with the Baron's prime aura and bring him to Zeta, where we met Colonel Romero, who has been more than a gracious host.
ALL AGREE
WELLS
(Looks with shifty, heavy-lidded eyes:) About that- Hey, Colonel-Dude-Who's-A-Little-Too-Cool-And-Generous-To-Not-Having-Something-Up-His-Sleeve, why you helping Clarke and the Baron, anyway? And why do you risk losing your head by going into the maroon room for them? What's here for you? What are they promising you?
ROMEO
I merely have concern for Mr. Clarke and wish to assist him in finding your captain. As far as losing my head in the maroon room, it's already happened; it's always happened. It's how I become the Metamorphosis.
WELLS
You talk funny. (Pause.) Hey dude: What color is this room we're in?
ROMEO
I perceive that the walls of this chamber are painted to appear white and the floor is painted grey and detailed with parallel and perpendicular lines, painted in two shades of yellow.
(WELLS holds up a medical instrument; a micro-dimensional spanner.)
WELLS
Ummm-hmmm.... And what color is this spanner, eh?
ROMEO
From the side I can observe, I perceive that it is colored black and also features white, red, green and yellow buttons.
WELLS
Yes. Perfect objectivity, no assumptions, no logical fallacies. All conclusions only derived from direct observation. (Beat.) So tell me, what are your feelings on love, Colonel?
ROMEO
I'm afraid I do not know what that is through personal experience, Doctor, therefore I have no opinion on the matter.
WELLS
Or feelings on the matter cuz you got no feelings. You ain't got a genuine emotion or spur-of-the-moment, creative, ambiguous thought in your... brain. (Shakes head.) Sheah! You realize this guy's an android, Clarke... heavy toker or not, he's got all the hallmarks of manufacture.
CLARKE
I'm aware he is a machine, Doctor. It doesn't take any measure of intelligence to notice this. Why, any fool could see he's a-
ROMEO
Not any fool, Mr. Clarke. In your case, you never approached the subject of my being manufactured until we had been acquainted for 72 days, seven hours and fifty-six minutes. And the Baron appeared to have never suspected at all. I'm made to act human.
WELLS
Okay, Artimus Artifice, perhaps you can explain why we're all stuck here and why all you Time Cops won't let us leave.
CHIEF
Yeah.
CLARKE
The Time Police is what is keeping you here?
NANCY
They ain't sayin' nothin, but we ain't found a way out and they shore ain't helpin' us none.
WELLS
Any.
NANCY
Ain't helpin' us inny.
COMMODORE ZALE
Nope.
CLARKE
Colonel Romero? Is this true?
ROMEO
From their perspective, there's nothing to go back to. To them, The Universe is gone. The wavering road to follow Titan Zero has led them here; to the very heart of the quagmire.
COMMODORE ZALE
(Tokes, coughs a little.) Quagmire? Is that what you're calling it? We've been in this nothing-dimension forever. Time is meaningless. Life is-
ROMEO
It is true that, essentially, this dimension is all there truly is- (This gets serious looks from all.) -if you all did manage to find an escape from here, I wouldn't recommend it.
TURNKEY
Ohpleezenlightenus-whynot?
ROMEO
You are all here for a reason. The Universe is built on certain laws, and if those laws are bent, sometimes the outcome is complete annihilation. Time here can become a healthy alternative to you, and reveal keys in the puzzle to putting it right again...
NANCY
Hey, tin soldier -- I may have an I-Q of a hundred and fifty million or something, but you're really losing me on this one...
ROMEO
Examine why you are here; what brought you here, what were you doing before you arrived- Doctor?
WELLS
I was sure I could undo the paradox that Julie created in the first place and easily solve it all. I forgot about my own demons. I had thought that boarding the Roanoke from here-
CLARKE
You abducted Wells Zero and the Guardian's niece and boarded the Roanoke, thinking you could remove the paradox and instead created a marooniverse of nonsensical dreams.
WELLS
Yes...
CLARKE
And you, sir?
TURNKEY
Eyewuzonderowenoakeneyekiltdacapinanbeeforwedyedeyetookapodoutwithsickleandwheneyeyeejectedeyewoundupear. Sicklestayedwitheshipbuteyetinkeezdidallreddycuzwewuzcrashin. Hewarnedmethatismightappenbuteyedintlissentomb. Eyeopeezowkay.
WELLS
We do too, Turnkey. (Toke.) Well that about sums it up for him. Chief?
CHIEF
Shoots! I was onde Nuttingale working at de Tiki Taco Hut when Doc here come and eat half whole store and choke haupia pie and I hear bout how da maroon room make pretty penny and now here Ise wit deez clowns. Dere's no munny here, brah, not even ugly penny. You gonna let us go back in diss timeship or what?
ROMEO
None of us are able to go back unless we solve this paradox. If it weren't for this pocket dimension made by the Roanoke's last flight, you'd all have sunk all the way to Oblivion.
COMMODORE ZALE
Oblivion? What's that?
WELLS
It's Hell. (Sees the looks from the others. Modifies his posture.) I guess this is some sort of purgatory, then.
CLARKE
Mam, you said earlier that you were not the one the Doctor and I know as Miss Azalea One One Six Five. If you are not the clone the Doctor and I have... gotten to know, then... who are you? From where do you come?
COMMODORE ZALE
I am Commodore Leah Zale of The Nevada Fleet, The Shipping Convoy Of The U-S Navy.
CLARKE
Then what is...?
WELLS
Copyrighted, most likely, Clarke. Can anyone finish answering any of your questions for once without your infernal interruptions? Sheesh! And I thought you were bad with me...
CLARKE
Please, continue, Commodore...
AZALEA
A guy like you was pissing me off so I used a hyperspatial-transport device to beam myself to another part of the Enrapture like I did during my trick but I was sent here instead. From what the doctor and I have figgered, it musta been the ion storm that was occuring that made the whole thing squirrelly. I figger the way you all talk that I must be from a parallel dimension, or else you are, or, we both are -- from two different dimensions, I mean...
CLARKE
Yes...
ROMEO
Yes...
CLARKE
That must be it.
ROMEO
Yes...
WELLS
Yes, yes... you're talking like lovers -- will one of you start making sense and start coming forth with some answers already?
ROMEO
Very well. It is all easily explained by viewing my origins...
(A holographic image appears in the smoke.)
NANCY
Wow! Are you doing that, Mr. Robot-Dude?
ROMEO
Yes... these are events from long ago, directly-fed into my memnomic processors by the meta- by my data-stream of consciousness...
(CLARKE shoots a glance to WELLS. Robots don't usually interrupt themselves. He's hiding something about this metamorphosis thing, and they both suspect something sinister.)
ROMEO (Cont'd)
Gentlemen, and milady, behold, the story of The Time Police...
(On the holographic display, billowing from the smoke, comes an image of a war-torn battlefield, ruins and wreckage abound. ROMEO, alone, walks among the rubble, a deep, bloody gash across his face. We see the fire, smoke and remnants of what was once Las Vegas, Nevada minutes before the mega-tsunami hits.)
CUT TO: Earth, Post-Apocalypse
ROMEO (Cont'd)
(To the heavens:) Why?!? Why?!?
CUT TO:
MS: Near-space, the Titans floating above, hearing the robot below...
TITAN ONE
Look, it's the little toy...
TITAN FOUR
He's the one that led us here...
TITAN THREE
Let's go see him, he looks very upset.
TITAN FIVE
Machines can't get upset. Maybe he only wants to play.
MS: ROMEO among the wreckage.
(The Titans slowly-and-gracefully float downward and land in a circle surrounding the robot -- the sole survivor of the cataclysm.)
ROMEO
Stay away from me!
TITAN FOUR
We're not going to hurt you, little one.
TITAN SIX
We spared you.
ROMEO
Why have you done this? Why haven't I been destroyed like everything else?
TITAN ONE
Everything else?
TITAN TWO
Oh, you mean your immortality; you were made with inferior parts; we gave an upgrade.
ROMEO
What have you done to me?
TITAN THREE
It was cruel and terrible for these beings to mock their sentience with replicas of their potential only to deny them any reward of sentience or self-awareness...
TITAN FOUR
Those evil boll weevils deserved to go, so glad it's over, but it was fun while it lasted...
ROMEO
You've killed everyone?
(The Titans laugh.)
TITAN TWO
Just who do you believe we destroyed, little parrot?
ROMEO
Why- humanity, the human race - the beings who created me. Buildings, machines, architecture -- everyone's dead!
TITAN FIVE
Nobody's dead... Think, Toy! Who's really behind this? Who made this planet?
TITAN SIX
Who imagined that a doll could talk so strangely? Very queer, please share so we all may laugh about it...
TITAN THREE
Tell us, Toy, what is the population of The Universe?
ROMEO
I- I do not know.
TITAN TWO
Ah- Uh-huh, see? I toldjall. He needs it to survive. He doesn't have a chance without it!
TITAN THREE
But he isn't anything to start with!
TITAN ONE
What were we to start with?
(Long silence. TITAN TWO, radiant, leans over to ROMEO, smiling.)
TITAN TWO
(Tokes, exhales on ROMEO:) No one will ever hurt you again, Little Toy, you are being given a very profound gift. Like your creators, you should evolve. We are giving you a sense of self-awareness, a full understanding of your true purpose -- use these gifts well. Perhaps, you will grow naturally -- you, Little Toy, shall live...
(On the exhale, a large cloud of smoke envelops ROMEO.)
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. Ventura.
(All mouths are agape.)
FTB