Scene 3.12 - Abandon Ship
EST: INT. The Bridge - Noonish
(The ship is right-sided, but in complete disarray. The bridge has never looked worse. CLARKE is still in his suit, helmet off, only the Ming cap remains on his head.)
CLARKE
For the last time, computer, what happened to Ensign Asimov?
FEMALE COMPUTER
Ensign Asimov is not aboard the ship, sir.
SIMAK
Well, he’s not here, that’s for sure.
CLARKE
Computer, where is your hologram?
FEMALE COMPUTER
I have no holographic personas associated with my functions at this time, sir.
CLARKE
What about Leah? The hologram that went to look for- you know, the one from earlier?
FEMALE COMPUTER
I have no record of ever having a holographic persona associated with my functions, sir.
CLARKE
And no record of Mr. Asimov?
FEMALE COMPUTER
Ensign Asimov is not aboard the ship, sir. He was last observed entering Papa section, sir.
SIMAK
Aye, he musta been in the tail section, we lost everything from Romeo to Zulu. There’s no other life signs than ours, Mr. Clarke.
CLARKE
How long until Mr. Heinlein effects repairs on the gravity network?
SIMAK
Simak to Heinlein.
HEINLEIN
(Audio only, distortion due to planet’s effects, see below:) Here, sir.
SIMAK
Mr. Clarke needs an estimate of when you’ll complete your repairs.
CUTAWAY: The Delta Corridor
(HEINLEIN is heavily tethered to scaffolding and is welding huge dark-matter plates into place with a plasma-fusion torch. These plates are moved and held into place by small anti-gravity spheres magnetically-attached to the plates. Each have a handle and HEINLEIN is easily able to move them about when attached. His face is blackened from welding.)
HEINLEIN
(Listening to Beethoven:) I’ve got two in place, only twenty-two more to go, sir.
CUT TO: Bridge
SIMAK
About three hours, Mr. Clarke.
CLARKE
(Raises an eyebrow:) You know what the captain would say.
SIMAK
Robbie-lad, you got an hour, make it count. Simak out.
(He clacks off the intercom. The distortion exists in all transmissions unless linked with the Atavachron.)
CLARKE
Although Captain Verne has given me strict orders not to leave the ship, we were both unaware at the time that Ensign Asimov had fallen overboard. The captain’s quarantine has already been violated by circumstance. The only logical course of action would be to rescue Ensign Asimov while we are still able to do so.
SIMAK
Sir, I can’t let-a you go out there alone! Me guts are all tied and twisted jus’ thinkin’ ‘bout the captain!
CLARKE
Then join me, Mr. Simak. We can quickly modify your environmental suit. There is safety in numbers and our chances of finding Ensign Asimov are greater if we work together. Mr. Heinlein is a capable officer and he can deal with any problems the ship may encounter in the next hour.
SIMAK
Aye, but you forget, he won’t be in charge, the doctor will be, and you know how he can be.
CLARKE
Yes. He may lock us out until the captain returns, just to spite me.
SIMAK
Or he might take-a the ship and pick up Captain Verne while we’re gone.
CLARKE
Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer. Clarke to Dr. Wells.
WELLS V.O.
(Audio only:) Finally getting around to calling me, huh? I sure would have appreciated a heads-up before the ship went all topsy-turvey!
CLARKE
Are you injured, Doctor?
CUT TO: Sick bay.
(The sick bay survived the crash better than any other room on the ship. WELLS looks really stoned, but is smirking all-the-while...)
WELLS
(Holding emptied, wavering hypo aloft:) You could say that... I accidentally shot-myself-up with more quartrazine than ever tested on another living creature, but other than this weird paranoia, like something really bad's about to happen, I'd have to say that the high is quite euphoric... I’m trippin’ balls, man...
CUT TO: Bridge.
CLARKE
It seems Mr. Asimov has fallen overboard.
WELLS
Well, why didn’t you say so? Let’s go out there and get him!
CLARKE
You- you want to accompany us?
WELLS
Why, shore! He might be hurt, and there’s a lot this ol’ country doctor knows about patching up scrapes or doctorin’ a few bruised egos... (Where is he going with this?) Plus, it’s getting creepy in here. I- I need to get outside. Where there’s space... a lotta space, air to breathe... The walls are melting, and they just keep dripping back into place, only closer, closer, each and every time...
SIMAK
(A pre-cursor to the Oy-vey-beam-me-up-already-look:) Are ya feelin’ all right, Doctor?
WELLS
(Half-pause:) Fine, Smokey, fine. Hunkey-dorey. Where do you want to meet up?
CLARKE
I’m sending schematics and a firmware upgrade to your suit’s replication software...
WELLS
Tell you what, just have the computer rig me a med-kit into the whatchamacallit suit and I’ll meet you in Foxtrot-forward faster than you can shake a jackrabbit’s...
CLARKE
(Pause.) Doctor? Doctor? Computer, what is the status of Dr. Wells?
FEMALE COMPUTER
Dr. Wells is staggering to the turbolift, Lieutenant Commander.
CLARKE
Computer, have a suit replicated in Foxtrot-forward for the doctor and add a medical kit to it, and make Mr. Simak a suit as well, suitable for outdoor exploration. We’ll take it from there.
FEMALE COMPUTER
Aye, aye, sir.
CLARKE
And make me another helmet. That other one was shoddy! It did not meet my holo-simulated test of durability. It would be unable to withstand a direct hit from a focused, nuclear implosion mine. How is that supposed to protect me from the possibility of pus of a Nordian Fin-Beast or enhance the chance of surviving a landslide? (Pause.) What are you waiting for, computer?
FEMALE COMPUTER
Aye, aye, sir.
CLARKE
Now what did I just tell you to do? (The computer replays the audio from “Have a suit...” but he interrupts:) No, that’s not what I’m talking about.
FEMALE COMPUTER
I will have a more durable helmet replicated post-haste, sir.
CLARKE
That’s right. You do that. You obey. Now get cracking.
FEMALE COMPUTER
Helmet replication design forty-five percent complete, sir.
CLARKE
Good girl, now that’s what I’m talking about. Carry on.
FEMALE COMPUTER
Yes sir.
SIMAK
Think we’ll find the wee lad, sir? These scans of the planet are just-a showin’ me garbage!
CLARKE
Yes, I call that the Clarke Effect. The scanners are useless here. Concerning Mr. Asimov, scanners or not, we will certainly find him; we have a decided advantage. He is an equal force, and even if he is injured, I know at this very moment, he is working his way toward us, and we cannot do any less than meet him halfway! Negative, I stand corrected, Asimov is more deserving than that. His sharpened discipline, his weathered and tested skills in the face of adversity have not only proven that he is a vital part of our crew, but that he also warrants a doubling of our efforts to bring him back to the ship. We must get to him as soon as possible!
SIMAK
(Occasionally checked his digital watch throughout CLARKE’S monologue, and does so again now:) Mmm. I couldn’t-a agree more, sir. Shall we?
(They exit into the turbolift, we hear the all-too-familiar lute whimsy about to segue into the theme music for another scene, when:)
SIMAK (Cont’d)
I sure hope the laddie didn’t find no bear traps now. He’s a real innocent one, that Isaac.
(Swish.)
CLARKE
Foxtrot-forward.
SIMAK
Hmm. Mmmm. I said, he’s a real innocent one, that Isaac.
(Yes, Virginia, even film actors go up.)
SOUND: Keep playing music after sustained note in swish, it’s starting to get real jazzy...
CLARKE
Yes, yes, where are we going again? Foxtrot-forward, to replicate-
SIMAK
Aye, aye, sir, the computer’s going to make the doctor-a suit so we can go get the laddie, aye, he’s a real innocent one, that Isaac.
(The turbolift wall-lights denote a considerable slowing-down of the lift.)
CLARKE
Hmmm. Yes. Foxtrot-forward.
SIMAK
(Impromptu:) Well, we were going to Foxtrot-forward to retreive your helmet, and my environmental suit, and then we’ll join Dr. Wells there so we can all go rescue Asimov, who, by the way, is a real innocent one, that Isaac.
CLARKE
What is it about that Isaac that gets me every time?
SIMAK
Oh, it might be his charm, wit, character or, perhaps, even out of the blue, his uncanny luck at-
CLARKE
Yes, yes, his uncanny luck at surviving even the most difficult of circumstances in the face of adversity has not only proven that he is a vital part of our crew, but that he also warrants a doubling of our efforts to bring him back to the ship. We must get to him as soon as possible!
SIMAK
(Slowly lights pipe, cherries it, looks at the wall, deeply inhales, enjoys the long silence, puffs a few times more while keeping the first hit in his lungs, and then exhales the following, drawing circles in the smoke at the end of his line with his pipe stem:) I think the turbolift is out of order, Mr. Clarke, it seems like we’re going in circles.
(The lights on the turbolift have been saying so for a while now...)
KEEP ROLLING
CLARKE
Our original heading, it keeps escaping me.
SIMAK
(Knocks on CLARKE’S head lightly three times with his quantum pistol, the skullcap clangs:) That skullcap must be on too tight. I should-a add a part and adjust it.
CLARKE
Perhaps. We should also address the turbolift-problem. I don’t know what to expect from it.
SIMAK
(Quickly gets the turbolift handle machanism completely dissasembled.) Lucky I have those spare parts I picked up in our cell on New Trinity with me. Remember when I had their panel open?
CLARKE
Yes, your finite supply of future technology, built by our phantasms. How many parts in all?
(Gets the Turbolift to stop moving upward. They both perfectly jolt at the same time like two people would in an elevator going up that suddenly stopped. A few of his spare parts fall from his hands.)
CU: Turbolift floor, water-grate.
(Some spare parts roll and fall in a little water-grate/air-duct at the edge of the turboshaft floor and we hear them cling and clang all the way to the bottom of the shaft, which is a ways. Pause.)
SIMAK
Uh, I got six of them now. I suppose I could fish-a more of them out sometime if we really need them, but I think what I got here can do the trick. (Works intently on open device, put a piece or two between his teeth momentarily and keeps talking as he puts a couple pieces into place.) Well, Simak One really knew what all this stuff is really for, but since he assimilated into me, I’ve had to rely more on intuition...
CLARKE
Yes, trace phantasms, hard to believe our entire ordeal was merely a flight-of-fancy gone awry. Any third-rate scientist would have caught that one, why didn’t we see it?
SIMAK
Ah, we’re all prone to forgetting important details now-and-then. It’s the only explanation, of course, how else can we account for suddenly becoming fifteen billion times smarter? (Adjusts spare part here, then there.) There, got it! The turbolift is working again.
(SIMAK slaps the last, tiny, spare part into CLARKE’S Ming helmet.)
ECHO CHAMBER: CLARKE’S voice-over.
CLARKE V.O.
What a facinating discovery! Wireless telepathic communication! This device may have other uses in the future. Truly, this can prove handy.
SIMAK
Don’t want to burn-out your brain, Mr. Clarke. That battery’s only charged for limited use. One turbo-lift crisis is enough. Just ease our ol’ turbo-lift down to Foxtrot-forward, and I’ll take the battery back out and put it on the charger later.
(CLARKE is getting off on the echo-chamber effect without having to move his lips. He moves the turbolift dramatically up, then down, then down some more in cadence with his voice, lightly bouncing them on the way. He moves his hands with the timbre, as if he’s mentally controlling it, and SIMAK grabs the side-rail for support and balance. Eventually, at the end of the line, CLARKE stops playing and the turbolift stops.)
CLARKE V.O.
Okay. Wow, this is really cool! Val-der-ee! Val-der-aah! Val-der-ee! Val-der-rah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!
(SIMAK gets to have his own Captain Nemo glance. We’ll call it the Oy-vey-beam-me-up-already-look. He does it to the camera and there is a sound effect afterwards to top it off.)
SIMAK V.O.
(Echo chamber, no lips moving:) Oy vey, beam me up already!
CLARKE V.O.
(Like a stage-manager flipping through a script:) Now, where were we at, again? I’m totally lost.
SIMAK
(Spoken to CLARKE:) Mr. Clarke, we should get moving and get to Foxtrot-forward, we need to rescue Ensign Asimov. Aye, he’s a real innocent one, that Isaac.
CLARKE V.O.
(CLARKE has found a hair or a scab or something on the edge of his nostril and is trying to pinch it away and keeps examining his thumb and finger to see if he’s got it. He doesn’t get it. Flat, read-through-ish:) Foxtrot-forward. Yes, Mr. Simak, Ensign Asimov’s charm, wit, character and his uncanny luck is why we count on him.
FEMALE COMPUTER
(Bell dings:) Second Floor, Area 17, Foxtrot-forward, freight and cargo loading dock.
(CLARKE roughly wipes his nose, giving up. SIMAK pulls the little doo-hickey out of CLARKE’S skullcap. Normalcy returns.)
CLARKE
(Confident:) Truly, we need a fleet of men like Ensign Asimov. Our nation can’t find a better and more disciplined young officer.
MUSICAL LUTE SEGUE TO THEME MUSIC
DISSOLVE TO: