Scene 3.21 - Nature’s Way
EST: INT. Eliza, Sick Bay - Afternoon
ECU: WALL - A man being thrown back to a wall, pinned by two others
SILENCE
SOUND: Struggling, grunts
CUT IN:
CU: SIMAK
(SIMAK, having put up a pretty good fight, is finally pinned to the wall by the doorway, two girls holding each arm and leg as HEINLEIN pulls SIMAK’S mask away and ASIMOV holds a flower to SIMAK’S face. SIMAK struggles, and twists and turns his head, but the cloud soon takes him. Spacey sounds again.)
SIMAK
Aye, now there’s a scent as sweet as me mudder’s finest perfume. Can’t be leaving this side of space without taking a few samples back to Earth, now.
(They hold a flower over CLARKE, who quickly has his helmet removed and has that weird spider-looking, alien thing plastered across his face with its meaty tail around his throat. The cloud appears, and suddenly the alien-looking thing yelps, leaps off of CLARKE and tries to scurry away, but staggers a little and flips over, dead. CLARKE starts to cough and sits up as a second cloud of pollen dusts him.)
ASIMOV
Feeling bitter, Meester Clarke?
CLARKE
(Smiling:) Yes, yes. I feel much better now. We shouldn’t waste any time. Let’s get to the bridge and get this train rolling.
(They all happily move out the door, flowers in hand.)
CUT TO: AZALEA on bridge.
(AZALEA sits in the captain’s chair, hits the ship-to-ship button, it lights up!)
AZALEA
(Lowered voice, leans forward:) Azalea to Verne, come in Verne.
VERNE
(Seemingly drunk, worried:) Yeah, baby?
AZALEA
Are you done playing with yourself yet? We got a problem here.
VERNE
I’m almost done, sweetie. I just gotta get a ride back to the ship.
AZALEA
Are you drunk? Should I try to come and pick you up? I really can’t drive this thing very well, and parallel parking is a real pain in the-
VERNE
No, no, I’ll get one of those auto-piloting...
SPECKLES
Water-sliders, Mmmm!
VERNE
Water-sliders. It will bring me back by itself, right?
AZALEA
Is that Speckles? Is Verne One playing with his doll again?
VERNE
We’re completing my Red-Eye training.
AZALEA
(Pause.) Oh, that. That’s the load he tried to feed me when he tried to put me under.
VERNE
Huh?
AZALEA
(Not caring if she imitates him closely or not:) Tried to take advantage of me, feel-me-up with a puppet, he did. Tried to make me pass-out, did he.
VERNE
Pass-out?
AZALEA
Yeah, back when we were dating. Yeah, he said he was gonna make me a famous actress. Hmmmph, porn-star was more along the lines of what he was after. Luckily, he’s the lightweight, not me. I grew up in Vegas, what did he expect?
VERNE
(Looks at SPECKLES:) This is just a way for him to try to get the upper-hand with me?
AZALEA
I dunno, maybe he wants you to do webcam. Look, are you going to come help me or not?
VERNE
I’ll get back as soon as I can.
AZALEA
Great. When you’re looking for me, I'll be the body all hacked-apart in your ready-room.
VERNE
My ready-room?
AZALEA
Yeah, I know you got a secret closet in there. It’s the only place where I can hide.
VERNE
How do you know about-
AZALEA
I can’t lock them out, and I hope you get here soon, because they’re on their way to the bridge. Help me, Zero. You’re my only hope.
VERNE
Hey, that sounds like the message you sent me before we crashed.
AZALEA
Oh, you got that? Cool. Listen, it was (Unconsciously said differently, as if it is a new nickname for on old nemisis known by another name --) Verne One’s idea to sabotage the ship. I had nothing to do with it, honey.
VERNE
What about that hologram?
AZALEA
What hologram?
VERNE 1
(No echo, partially materializes for a second:) What hologram?
AZALEA
Someone would need my personnel codes to make a hologram of me, and believe me, no one else knows them.
VERNE 1
How can that be? The black queen. Hmmmm. She disabled all the escape pods.
AZALEA
Speaking of escape, I’m the only one left, wanna help me? They’ve got everyone else.
VERNE
Who?
AZALEA
The rest of your crew has gone mad. Affected by the outside life here. They want to take over your ship.
VERNE
Super. What kind of life? What are they planning to do with my ship?
AZALEA
Well, if they’re hopped up on Tellusian joy-juice, they’ll probably just make a mess of the place, not to say it isn’t pretty trashed already.
VERNE
Azalea-
AZALEA
But if they’re totin’ around the Fellopian Cactus, chances are they’ll try to fly the ship back to Earth to introduce the species to Earth’s biosphere.
VERNE
They can’t leave, we’re in a paradox.
AZALEA
I could try to tell them that, but I’m sure they won’t listen, even if we are stuck in The Phantom World.
VERNE
Who told you about The Phantom World?
AZALEA
Why don’t you ask your buddy Speckles? He was the one who hosted The Miss Phantom World Beauty Pageant.
VERNE
Hmmm. Okay, I will. I got a few other questions for him, actually. Get back to you.
AZALEA
Hurry, Zero. The turbolift is active. I gotta go hide.
VERNE
Hey! Wait! There’s a trapdoor in that closet you were talking about, the one in my ready-room. The code is 6-6-6. Open it, it leads to the Gamma Corridor, which will take you to the solar plexus.
AZALEA
Solar Plexus?
VERNE
Something only the ship’s captain gets to know about, so keep it under your hat. It will take you to a secret hatch that opens over the Foxtrot section. While you’re in there, the ship can’t read you, and neither can they. There’s a little terminal inside the corridor with cheat codes. You can mask yourself from the ship and make your way about Foxtrot section undetected. There, you can get spare ammo and supplies. I’ll be there soon.
AZALEA
Okay, love you baby. They’re coming, I gotta go. I’ll call you back.
VERNE
Keep the channel open, sweetie, I want to be able to hear what they say.
AZALEA
Bye honey, I love you. See you soon, I hope.
CUT TO: