Scene 1.15 - Dress Right Dress
EST: INT. Penthouse - Noon
(The women are in PJs, nightgowns and teddies. They are drinking, smoking pot and playing a board game. A stack of 45s sits on a turntable. A new record drops and begins playing an arcane tune.)
BESSIE
Puff, puff pass, baby.
BETTY
Hey, ain’t this Donovan’s new one?
BAMBI
Nah, it’s old news.
BARBIE
I want to hear some Stones.
BONNIE
Oh, that Mick Jagger is so hot!
(Squeals of agreement.)
BOBBIE
He’s on deck. Whose turn is it?
BRANDI
Mine. Come on box-cars! Whew-hoo!
BUNNY
With luck like that, I think you’re gonna win.
BRANDI
Luck has nothing to do with it.
BETTY
Category: The silver screen. Okay, Brandi, what’s your wager?
BRANDI
I’ll bet fifty.
BETTY
Okay. Who was the producer for Our Gang and The Little Rascals?
BRANDI
Easy; Hal Roach.
BOBBIE
Man, all these questions are too easy.
BONNIE
Yeah, I haven’t missed one yet.
BARBIE
Me either.
BESSIE
Hey, I don’t think any of us have. It’s like I’m thinking so... clearly.
BAMBI
Yeah, what’s with that? I thought these questions were supposed to be hard.
BUNNY
I dunno, I thought so too. I never knew that I knew so much.
(Ad libs of agreement.)
BETTY
At this rate, I think we’re gonna tie.
BRANDI
Maybe we’re not drunk enough or something. I’ll make some more drinks. Holler at me when it’s my turn again.
BOBBIE
Come on, snake-eyes! Yeah!
BONNIE
If we could keep being this lucky with the dice, I bet we’d make a mint in Vegas.
BUNNY
I got something better than Vegas. Any of you ever play the stock-market?
(Mixed responses. When nothing is out there to stop you and you’re not going anywhere, you’re stopping yourself. Some women love the submissive position because it fills their lives with convenient truths. Some women instead think they are kingmakers and can control the ship if they can only ride its helmsman. However, Bunny’s a different type of woman -- among the ones with no expectations; only goals. She’s like the majority of single women, trying to go the legit route first, as if being privileged was a chore somehow. Bunny was involved in Junior Achievement during her freshman year of high school and subsequently worked at a local bank where she learned what it takes to get an equity loan, which led to her securing legal emancipation at the tender age of fifteen. Shortly after gaining legal autonomy, she doubled her parents' nest-egg through investment stock options, and was able to convert her own sizable monthly allowance into a heavy stock portfolio that rivals her multi-millionaire uncle and certainly surpasses the total wealth of the rest of her family. All this in two meager years while still attending a Catholic high-school for girls, eating flesh and drinking blood every Sunday and making every C.Y.O function and heading the poster committee of her Student Council. For those of you who appreciate trivia: Bunny drives a white 1969 Austin Healy Sprite Mark IV. She gets a manicure every Monday. She is the smartest and most popular girl in her school and is relatively unknown in the world otherwise. The only boys she knows are her classmates. The only man she trusts is her father, who currently works overseas. Her mother owns the "Curl Up And Dye" salon where she gets her weekly manicure. It's the most significant amount of time she spends with her mother during the week. Bunny has three stockbrokers and a corporate lawyer at her disposal. Bunny's net worth in 1969 dollars is $23,987,651.17 -- and steadily growing. She embodies the American Dream. [Okay, maybe the American Pipe Dream. You’re a trusted friend, Gentle Reader, I can be honest with you.])
BUNNY (Cont’d)
Well I do. In fact, I outta call my broker right now. Settle a few things up. This time next week, we’ll all be millionaires.
(That certainly got the ladies’ attention. They know Bunny is very rich. She drives to school in her own new car wearing clothes they can only see on models in magazines. Her penthouse is large. Bunny has two television sets -- a 1969 RCA Victor Console Television and a 1969 RCA Portable Color Television. She rents three telephone lines to include the only private line at the school. BUNNY picks up a newspaper, shows the others the financial page showing the July 3rd index, buried under Independence Day hulla-balloo.)
BUNNY (Cont’d)
See how easy it looks? It’s an easy system, child’s play. As easy to predict as... a weather-pattern. See? There’s going to be a barometric pressure-drop in the Midwest and then a tropical storm will form just South of Haiti. And see how this stock went up yesterday? That means the commodities will fluctuate, these will go down while these four will go up. Silver will level-off while gold will be worth-more the day after tomorrow. And see this Narvis-Segille stock? We should get a put.
BOBBIE
What’s a put?
BUNNY
It’s a wager that the stock will drop; and boy will it ever! Look at this; Kodak, I-B-M; they’re gonna jump-up a few points this week because Ma Bell isn’t moving. See? If we buy it when it’s low, then sell the Narvis-Segille when it’s way up next Friday, we won’t lose any cash when it drops real low again three Mondays from now.
(Ad libs. It’s obvious to everyone somehow. They see the pattern.)
BUNNY (Cont’d)
Yeah, I’m calling my broker now, he’s at the marina, thinking he doesn’t have anything to do today. Anyone want in? I’ll cover all of you until we can sell the options we’ll buy from the profits made from the Coca-Cola stock we’re gonna get, then you can pay me back.
(They all do.)
BOBBIE
Better write this stuff down; it seems too easy.
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