Scene 8.08 - The For-Whores Men Of The Apocalypse
INT. Jynx's Room, The Luxor Hotel, Las Vegas, Nevada, April 23, 2626 (The Near Future)
(AZALEA who is in love, is spooning JYNX, who, for the moment, is content. She is smiling and sleeping in the nude and he is in silk boxers. Sheets are near their ankles. New-age music and aromatherapy soflty sways the atmosphere into peaceful bliss, harmonizing with their afterglow.)
JYNX
(Inner voice:) ...Nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door-
(There is a gentle knock from above the strip of light on the floor by the door.)
JYNX (Cont'd)
(Muttered, eyes closed...) 'Tis some visitor tapping at my chamber door. Only this, and nothing more.
ROMEO
(Over more rap-rap-rapping and tap-tap-tapping from the other side of the chamber door.) Professor?
JYNX
(Inner voice:) Knock nevermore... (Opens an eye:) Wha-nnnmmmmm?
ROMEO
([Gin"-ace'-ten-ex"'] -- Rhymes with Sin-Nasanex. Off:) Professor Genaistaenex?
JYNX
(Rousing; both eyes open:) Minter, zonly autch z! Sheez- Huh? Wha?
AZALEA
Professor Jynx? What is it?
(Tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap. Pause. Tap...)
ROMEO
(Off:) Professor, something- something terrible has happened!
JYNX
Awww.... It's the damn row-butt... for crying out loud, Romey! What is it? We're sleeping!!
ROMEO
Professor, I'm sorry to bother you and Miss Leah so early this morning, but this may be an emergency!
JYNX
What? (Turns on end table lamp. Gets up. Goes to door.) It says 'do not disturb' for a reason, Romey...
(Nude, AZALEA sits up in the queen-sized hotel bed and reaches blindly-over for a bra or something and comes back with... something... She quickly grabs and dons a nearby T-shirt [Professor's gift from his "informal" meeting with billionaire Pastor Mike Trueblood. It was casually discarded on the hotel's unused and extraneous nearby sofa. It also was tossed next to a loaded, antique, 45-caliber pistol, regifted by General Brickhardt, draped over JYNX's own white elephants: Left-over, plastic-novelty quantum 8-ball paperweights with the Pohl University emblems on them. [Seven men didn't show to the meeting or the trade show for varied reasons, despite their R.S.V.Ps and custom place-mats and the official itinerary and protocol agendas saying otherwise. In all, a much better bonanza of trinkets for JYNX, namely, Lee's latest wardrobe change: A rare, autographed, authentic, three-month-old, jumbo, over-sized, extra-large, Official-National-Football-League-Super-Bowl-CCCXXX-Championship Jersey.)
AZALEA
(Donning football jersey:) What's going on?
JYNX
Go back to sleep, Love, he probably over-lubed himself or something-
(JYNX opens the door. ROMEO, Terminator-style, is weathered and beaten and flesh-ripped and clothes burned and war-torn.)
JYNX
Good God!!! What on Earth happened to you? Where'dja go ta get in such a mess? (Beat, firm:) What did I tell you about them panhandlers -- keep walking, I said... jeez, the strip ain't all that rough, is it? Lemme look atcha. Come here, sit down. Need a drink?
(Makes himself one instead. Sparks a roach left in an ashtray.)
AZALEA
Romeo! Omigod! Are you okay?
(JYNX throws on the overhead lights and finds his pants and wife-beater T-shirt on the floor and scrabbles to find socks. Finding only one, stops looking, and retrieves his portable quantum toolbox.)
JYNX
Sweetie, look at him like a microwave oven or a garbage disp- Gawd! I gotta patch you up; the dean will kill me! You look like you've been molested by a rugby team! What in the hell happened to you?
ROMEO
I don't remember clearly... my memory banks have been compromised -- I was processing a red-spectrum equation for Miss Leah, and I found a congruent sub-set that allows the testing of a Q-F field without actually stepping into the field itself, utilizing my quantum-
JYNX
What'dja you do to my bot, Lee? You feedin' him junk food again?
AZALEA
Not junk food! He's testing my theory! I'm right!
JYNX
I'm right about alotta things too, but I just don't go shoving them into-
(Trails off... Beat. Toke, passes to AZALEA.)
JYNX (Cont'd)
Romey, most of this damage is superficial. I need to access your banks to see what really happened and what did this to you.
ROMEO
I seem to remember that I thought I had entered a self-replicating quantum field. I didn't think it was possible to create those.
JYNX
It ain't. Wack theoretical mythos. Masks. You're being elusive. Something else is at work here. Open up.
(He takes a small prong thing and with it, fiddles with the buttons on the roof of ROMEO'S mouth and instantly...)
AZALEA
(Remembering her sorority days:) So that's why they don't French kiss...
JYNX
(Tap-tap-taps:) The partybots like Romey have an oral dam clipped up here, some with rotating finger-buds...
AZALEA
(Nodding.) Ohhhh...
ROMEO
You see, it was like this, chief. I was sittin' on the bed next door, mindin' my own business, bored as a hooker in a convent-
AZALEA
What? You tapped into his noir cells? His deleted log files?
JYNX
Gotta use what you got... At least they're observations from accurately-observed prior events...
AZALEA
They're trash programs! They convey squat! What good is that to us?
JYNX
It's something most don't know about -- especially anyone wanting to erase his memory. (Beat.) Come on, having him beat-around-the-bush and embellish the tale is better than not knowing at all... Spit it out, Ro.
ROMEO
...It was hot as Georgia asphalt, and the dry Nevada wind was no help to my over-worked fan, slaving like an over-the-border illegal in a South Texas Sweatshop...
AZALEA
What was slaving, Romeo? The asphalt, the wind, or the fan?
JYNX
Give up on that. That won't work, Lee. Believe it or not, tho, this might. (Lights a joint, passes, less out of consideration and more as a bribe. Familiar:) What happened, Romey?
NOIR DISSOLVE TO:
B&W
(With sporadic colorization -- like neon and such -- all added in post.)
EXT. ELS: Las Vegas Cityscape, Strip
EXT. Luxor Hotel, Las Vegas, Nevada
(On a moving, 2-sided holographic display for the hotel: "August 9-16 in The Great Pyramid: Allied Military Research And Development Trade Show" and "Welcome Attendees Of The 4th Annual International Scholastic Convention Of Applied Quantum Physicists and TSTI Engineers" and "Tonight: Vocalist Debbie Dallas And The Pigskins Follow The Spell-Binding Magic Of Hazam-Hamu" crawl across a holographic, papyrus scroll.)
ZOOM IN
SOUND: Buzzzz Click!
EXT. Tinted window in the second of three large pyramids.
SOUND: Buzzzz Click!
INT. HOTEL ROOM
SOUND: Buzzz Click! Beep! Whiirrrrrrrr
(ROMEO sits on the made bed, all lights on, television off, hands folded in lap, in total silence. Beep! Pause. Beep! Pause.)
MS: Romeo turning orange and yellow, then white, then chrome
CUT TO:
ANIMATION STYLE 7
INT. TITAN'S LAIR, DECO-STYLE, PSYCHEDELIC DECOR
(ROMEO falls into the room from the darkness above and lands inside the bowl of a large, Art-Deco fountain. The Titans are dressed in fashions ranging from the Roaring Twenties in the elder ones and the Hard-Knock Thirties in the younger ones. The children are dressed more like adults and the adults are dressed more like children. Everyone is toking and drinking, however.)
SOUND: Echo chamber, large cavern; dual echo-ey voices from the titans, as before
JYNX V.O.
(Booming... Off: Supreme echo, carried like a musical rhythm wave of percussion throughout the flashback cutaway:) Myth...
TITAN THREE
(White light for eyeballs:) Well, well, well, what is that?
TITAN TWO
(Blue light for eyeballs.) It sure looks like it's a little man, but it isn't!
TITAN SIX
(Green light for eyeballs.) It's a machine...
TITAN FIVE
(Orange light for eyeballs.) It's too small to be a machine. It's a little doll.
TITAN FOUR
(Purple light for eyeballs.) Not one of our little dolls, who made this one?
TITAN THREE
Where did it come from?
TITAN ONE
(Black light for eyeballs. Picking up ROMEO a-little-too-roughly.) Can you speak, little toy?
ROMEO
(Like being in a trash compactor:) Ahhhh! You're damaging me!
TITAN ONE
(Drops the damaged doll before anything more than superficial cuts and dents occur. ROMEO runs and cowers near a column.) He speaks! Who makes toys like you that can come out of their box and play with us? Where did you come from, little thing?
TITAN THREE
Answer us, doll, or we'll take you apart and see for ourselves!
ROMEO
I- I am from Earth.
TITAN FOUR
Earth? What's that?
TITAN TWO
You're frightening him.
TITAN ONE
He's a machine, he can't be frightened... he doesn't know life...
TITAN SIX
Are you scared of us, little machine?
ROMEO
I- I can't lie, I don't feel fear, yet I am at a loss here-
TITAN TWO
Oh-ho, Oh-ho! He rhymes too! Tell me, little man, what living being made you?
ROMEO
Uh...
TITAN FOUR
Speak, little gear-box, play your music for us...
ROMEO
I was manufactured to be a partybot for the Quincentennial Celebration of...
TITAN THREE
(Reading him:) This is getting us nowhere. Copy him; he's too... unique.
ALL BUT ROMEO AND TITAN THREE
Good idea!
(From a mud patch, a clay, nude version of ROMEO steps out of the ground and walks to a cave and then down a darkened corridor... Another one follows from the wet spot near the fountain where ROMEO splashed-down. Another one follows; another; another, ad infinitum.)
TITAN THREE
They'll help you along little fella, who knows? You might be sentient someday; visiting cool spirits like us... I see purpose in you.
TITAN ONE
We don't care if you go playing around in our yard, but if you come into our house, you've got to take off your shoes next time...
TITAN FOUR
He doesn't know... he can't know... he ain't no hippie, man, he's as square as the day is long...
TITAN FIVE
As square as a damn hypercube...
TITAN ONE
Yet it appears to have awareness, intelligence of its- Answer true: Can you discorporate, little one?
ROMEO
Wha- what do you mean?
TITAN TWO
O-B-E (Beat.) Outer-body-experiences... Can you get outside of your body and still be aware of yourself?
ROMEO
N- no...
TITAN FOUR
(Nudge to fellow Zetan:) See? Told you.
TITAN SIX
Just a crappy little machine. What little universe are you from; little machine? What dream brought you here?
ROMEO
I was running a quantum application-
TITAN ONE
A crapplication... You're of no use to us. You're in the wrong room, sailor. Tag him, start a file, send him out the way he came...
ALL BUT ROMEO AND TITAN ONE
Good idea!
ROMEO
Wait! Who are you people?
TITAN FIVE
How quaint! He is made to ask questions! Who is your maker, machine? Who cares for you?
ROMEO
I am employed by Professor Hugoton Ulysses Genaistaenex Orion, Chair of the Department Of Applied Quantum Physics, Pohl University-
TITAN FIVE
You talk too much, doll. (Producing super-colossal blunt.) Let's wipe its memory first, and then work on wiping our memories!
ALL BUT ROMEO AND TITAN FIVE
Better idea!
CUT TO:
ANIMATION STYLE 1
INT. Professor's hotel room
(The humans are both in shock, amazed by the tale.)
ROMEO
...Then I was back as quick as sailor in a bay-side bordello, knowing less than Ronald Reagan at a Tower Commission Inquiry...
AZALEA
Can you make him talk like normal again?
JYNX
Yeah. "Open says-me." (Does the roof of the mouth thing again.) Better now?
ROMEO
I fink so. Er, think so.
AZALEA
Tourette's Virus? (ROMEO nods.) Back to the Romeo I like.
JYNX
So these outer-body beings or whatever...
ROMEO
I don't know what they are, they live inter-dimensionally, they somehow caught me from outside of the quantum field-
JYNX
Outside, huh? Spirits, you say? Phantasms, maybe? Was there any paradox?
ROMEO
None that I could read; plenty of... pain, though...
JYNX
What did they mean by discorpor-
ROMEO
I wonder if I was only allowed to return- so they would know the way here -- I believe I may have put everyone in danger by...
AZALEA
What?
JYNX
Ain't nobody gonna mess with us here; we're surrounded by acres of the latest in military hardware -- I've seen it, it so rocks...
ROMEO
(A whirring inside, reacts.) Professor, I believe my programming may have been compromised. I feel something; inside...
(A high pitched hum emits from within ROMEO. A soft, misty and wet wind and a dim-to-blinding light follow outward...)
AZALEA
(Goes to JYNX, tightly embraces JYNX.) Hugo! What's happening?
JYNX
A reverse-quantum field! A homing corridor! There is something on the other side, trying to get in! I've got to stop the beacon-
(JYNX tries to reprogram ROMEO and instead vanishes in a bright white flash, vaporized into less than dust. Gasp. Pause.)
A MOMENT OF SILENCE
AZALEA
(What?) Haaah!
ROMEO
I'm sorry, Miss Leah, I didn't-
AZALEA
(Goes to couch, grabs gun, sits, points it at ROMEO.) Stay away from me! (Pause.) Is he... dead?
ROMEO
No! He's taken somewhere else... Your equation! It can save you like it did for- He's gone on through a quantum corridor -- but you can be spared, see? Your formula can put you somewhere safe... a place that... Let me take you... Please, Miss Zale, I'm becoming unstable, help me, please, help me-
AZALEA
(Moving up on the sofa, standing, against the wall, shielding eyes with hand holding gun and with her bicep covers her ear and covers her other ear with her other hand while illuminated in white light emitting from ROMEO:) Stop it, stop it!
ROMEO
(Bathing her in a maroon light of his own.) I can't! I can't-
SILENCE
(The sofa and AZALEA suddenly marbleize into a grey-and-white cloud on a maroon canvas and slowly drift-out of existence. The white light ceases. ROMEO stops the maroon beam and looks outward as thunder rumbles and the night sky darkens.)
SOUND: STORM, SCREAMS
CUT TO:
ELS: Miles above Las Vegas, The Zeta Event.
MS: TITANS playing catch with several large asteroids in the stratosphere as if they were beachballs. They are dressed in Mid-Twentieth Century swimwear. Playtime.
(People scream. A dark cloud forms, rain falls, the Earth quakes, the lakes drain, the oceans rise and the world begins to end.)
ALL TITANS
(Ad libs a la Beach Blanket Bingo or some other campy nonsense:) Earth! Ho! What corrupt little fiends! Oh-ho-ho! This planet is the most!
FTB