Scene 3.28 - A Call To Washington
EST: INT. Bridge, Eliza - Afternoon
(A holographic display shows a graphical presentation of CLARKE’S announcement.)
CLARKE
Isaac, we are now passing to the point of no return; into a white zone.
ASIMOV
Vaht?
CLARKE
An area of space around the anomaly that is does not fall under the Clarke Effect, we must take advantage of this brief window of opportunity.
ASIMOV
Vaht are you talking about?
CLARKE
An eye of the paradox hurricane. A few moments, perhaps, when we may be able to resume normal communications with the outside world.
ASIMOV
Oh yeah? Cleo-ford, see if you can patch iss to a line to Vashington. I vahnt to tell zem ve are coming.
SIMAK
Strange, now. Arthur’s right. We can talk to the outside world. Line to Washington secured, sir. (Pause.) I’ve got the President. (Touches ear lobe, although no device is seen.) She sounds anxious to talk to you, laddie.
ASIMOV
Onscreen.
(No one sees the insanity of the following scene. To them, it is normal space and time. It is a glimpse of the world they have always known and loved. It is the place they call home. On the screen, THE PRESIDENT sits in a modified chair in the oval office. She is a dog. Literally. The dog who periodically seems to have a cameo in nearly every chapter, it’s her, the one who was running with the PREPUBESCENT VERNE in front of a twister, except now with a slight aura about her. We never hear her bark, or yowl or move her jowels. She has futuristic apparel and is seated. We hear her speak in voice-over/echo-chamber.)
THE PRESIDENT
Captain Verne-
ASIMOV
Kiptin Verne is did, Middimm Prizzident. I'm In-sin Eye-Zick Izzimahf, ze new commander ahviss wessel.
THE PRESIDENT
Verne's dead? (Paws.) I see. I'm sorry to hear that. Well, he was getting old anyway. Hmmm. I read the remnants of a massive quantum paradox coming from your ship. What happened?
ASIMOV
Kiptin Verne vent all crizzy ind tried to pit Ze Universe on hold and git iss all tripped in ze Phintimm Verled.
THE PRESIDENT
The Phantom World? Sounds frightful.
ASIMOV
It izz. Vee are on ear vay out of it izz vee speak. Ve shid bee zair veal soon.
THE PRESIDENT
I see. Ensign, where is your conditioning collar? What's happened to it?
ASIMOV
Kiptin Verne destroyed zem, madman thit he iz.
THE PRESIDENT
All is forgiven, Ensign. We’re sending you a digital beacon. Ensign, come home.
ASIMOV
Yiss, ve vahnt to kimm home. Ve have a very spishal prizzint for you.
THE PRESIDENT
A present, for me?
ASIMOV
Yiss, Maddimm Prizzidint. Ve brought you simm flowers from anither verled.
THE PRESIDENT
Flowers! Awww, how thoughtful. You must make your master very proud.
ASIMOV
Yiss, I kint vait to see me master again. I miss her very much.
THE PRESIDENT
I’m sure she misses you, too. Bring the Eliza home, we’ll get you all in a quarantine-kennel and you’ll all be back-at-home with your masters in less than a week.
ASIMOV
Core-in-teen kinnil?
THE PRESIDENT
Oh, just a standard procedure for humans who’ve been outside of territorial space. Just a formality. Your crew has done much in the past year. I’m sure you all are looking forward to some extended shore leave.
ASIMOV
Yiss, ve are.
THE PRESIDENT
Well, I would like to be the first to thank you for all you have done in service for your country. After the memorial for Captain Verne at the Arlington National Pet Cemetery, perhaps we could have a ticker-tape parade on Wall Street, in your honor, of course. (Paws. Leans in.) Are those the show-girls you were shipping to Halceron? They’ve already missed the pageant finals, they're supposed to be going back to working The People-Park in Vegas. Why are they awake?
ASIMOV
Ze kiptin voke zem up vahnting to conduct unnichearil breeding ex-pier-imints wit zem. Luckily, vee vere ibble to save zem from zat fit in timm.
THE PRESIDENT
Hmmm. Well, I’m sure there will be many awards and commendations waiting for you when you come back. Perhaps a promotion. Does that sound good to you, Lieutenant?
ASIMOV
(Beaming:) Oh yiss, Middimm Prizzidint!
THE PRESIDENT
When should we expect you?
ASIMOV
Ve shid be zere inny mimment new. Vere going through a timm-pirtle!
THE PRESIDENT
(Nods, OFF:) Oooh, that sounds exciting! Keep your homing beacon activated. We want to watch your progress.
LEAH
Hmm. They’re attempting to override our controls from Earth.
ASIMOV
Let thim do so, zair bringing issinvith ze digital beekon.
LEAH
The ship won’t let them. The anomaly's hard-coded the flight plan. We’re all locked out.
THE PRESIDENT
Uh, Lieutenant, we seem to be having a problem re-directing your ship. Stand-down.
ASIMOV
An innimilly his tikkin ovear ze controlz, vee ear licked-it if ze see-stim!
THE PRESIDENT
I see. (Paws. Looks OFF.) Standby, Lieutenant. Admiral Rex is conferring with Commodore Spot. They’ve figured it out. We’re sending some additional instructions. Standby.
LEAH
Zack-
ASIMOV
Vaht?
FEMALE COMPUTER
Attention: Self-destruct sequence activated. Black-star coil circuits activated. Godspeed gentlemen, may you find more hope, guidance and acceptance in the afterlife. Dark-matter implosion will commence in seven, six, five, four, three, two, one...
(The rest of the dialogue is over the previous redundant message.)
SIMAK
Oy vey! Not again!
ASIMOV
Vaht are you doing?
THE PRESIDENT
We can’t allow you to fall into the hands of the enemy. Good day, gentlemen, and thank you for your selfless act to preserve the stability and sanctity of our nation. Your sacrifice will be an inspiration to puppies and children for many generations.
(The screen goes off. An image of The Guardian Of Infinity replaces it.)
ASIMOV
Vaht dizz this mean?
SIMAK
Aye, nothing.
(Pause. Nothing happens.)
ASIMOV
Very will. Arthur, ve should pritict our cargo. Ve kinnit afford to risk having ze flowers licked ip with us in a kinnil.
CLARKE
I agree, Lieutenant, I'll house them in the ship’s quantum replicator. We can use the array to saturate the Earth with a maximum dispersal of replicated pollen and seeds.
ASIMOV
Mick it so. And git simm pillin circuliting in ze air. (No accent:) I’m jones’n.
LEAH
How do we know that once we go through that anomaly that they won’t just blast us out of the sky?
ASIMOV
Ve don’t. All ze more reason we must put up a gid fight and hold-out as ling as ve are ibble. Ve mist pritict ze flowers at all costs!
LEAH
We are beginning our decent, Zack.
ASIMOV
Gid. Sivir all priticles vith Vashington, sind out a dark-mitter pulse, and reverse ze blue-room imminations. Lezzem sink vee have implidded. I don’t vahnt zem knowing vaht vee ear ip to.
LEAH
Links severed, homing beacon deactivated, pulse going out now, Zack.
ASIMOV
Vealy good. Now sivvir ze master trinsmission link, I don’t vahnt inny trinsmissions to ziss ship giving avay our piss-sis-shun.
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