Scene 4.12 - Destructobot Battle
EST: EXT. The Isle of Dread - Day.
(THE ORB OF DOOM sits atop a cropped volcano that encompasses 4/5ths of a small floating island. The giant destructobots stand vigilant at the foot of the volcano like two strack U.S. Marines posted at an embassy. Inside, the slotbots haven’t quite gotten the upper-hand with DIABLO, but they’ve made progress.)
DISSOLVE: INT. BRIDGE ORB OF DOOM
DIABLO
...Last, but not least, all liquor stores and bars will be open twenty-four hours, seven days a week, even using moonlight-savings time, and the voting age will finally go back to thirteen like it should have been all along. And the official work week will be four days again, making Friday attendance optional, with dress code being blue jeans and a tight-fitting t-shirt, water optional. Meet these demands or suffer the consequences, sincerely, Lady Diablo, Mistress of The Galaxy. How's that?
PEARL
Oh, Doctor, they will shudder in their moon-boots when they hear it.
AMBER
Mam! A man-o'-war approaches! It's The L-S-D Indica!
DIABLO
Kool? Alive? How? Alpha, Omega! Stop that ship before it reaches the lagoon!
CUT TO: EXT. of Starship Indica, converted to a very large, pimped-out speedboat
CUT TO: Bridge
ROD
(Stressed, maintaining control under difficulty-) Sir, those destructobots may tear us up more than doze bouncin’ beddies did back dare.
JOHN THOMAS
I know. Woody, please report to the bridge. I need that latest project of yours, (His eyes glance.) you know, the one in your wall-locker.
WOODY V.O.
Oh yeah? Right away, chief.
WILLIE
What's up, Jon-Tom? You have an idea?
JOHN THOMAS
The machines are only programmed to be evil. If that programming was altered, maybe enemies could become friends. (WOODY enters with a bizarre-looking gun prototype.) Woody, the destructobots are approaching from the lagoon, fast. Does it work?
WOODY
I may have to make a few adjustments for their size, but, yeah, it works.
JOHN THOMAS
Open top hatch, sight targets and fire-at-will.
CUT TO: WOODY’S POV
WOODY
Roger that. Sighting target one. (Fires, direct hit, sparks fly.) Sighting target two. (Fires, another direct hit, even more sparks fly.) Bull’s-eye!
ELS: The ISLE OF DREAD in perspective
(The floating island is violently-bobbing in the background and tremendous waves are heading-toward the large, yet sleek, speedboat -- all since the destructobots clumsily-stepped from the island to the bottom of the ocean, wading in fathom-deep waters.)
DESTRUCTO BOT ALPHA
Aaaagh! Aaaaagh! Mmmm? Hmmm.
DESTRUCTO BOT OMEGA
Eeeeerrrrrrrgh! Hmmmmmmmm. Friend.
DESTRUCTO BOT ALPHA
Friend. Let’s make snowman.
(Puts arm around OMEGA.)
DESTRUCTO BOT OMEGA
Friend.
(Puts arm around ALPHA. They begin to walk South to the horizon, slowly-sinking underwater as it gets deeper.)
INTO/OUT OF FRAME: The INDICA whizzes-by, across the turbulent surface.
CUT TO: INT. INDICA, BRIDGE - DAY
ALL ON BOARD
Hooray!
WILLIE
(Amazed with gun:) What's it, exactly? What does it do?
WOODY
(Mindlessly caressing it.) I call it the Ganjaray. Machines with pre-programmed electron processors are very susceptible to ion and electron-interlaced interference sent via amplified, supersonic, subatomic waves. (The men lean in, closer.) If a predetermined matrix were programmed, say, set to induce a “working relationship” that can also evolve, then a state of sub-atomic inebriation could be introduced into the machine's individual and intuitive consciousness, constantly overriding original, structured programming (Looks to others, smiling.) permanently! (Pause, continues:) It substitutes nurturing, positive and --kinder, gentler programs that promote harmony and nature over discord and death.
DICK
Woody, it looks like you taught the destructobots to be... buddies.
WOODY
In a nutshell, yes. Buddies with the planet Earth! Now they can help guard the planet instead of putting craters in it!
WILLIE
Sir, we’ve reached the beach-head.
(WILLIE adjusts throwing stars and throwing daggers.)
JOHN THOMAS
Good work, guys. (Gets kinky with his cane and converts his sword and cane into a lop-sided version of num-chucks with accompanying laser mace.) Now let's go!
(They storm the beachhead, the ISLE OF DREAD’S robotic defenses -- trapdoor spiderbots, electric barbed wire, laser monopods and the like activating all at once.)
FTB