Scene 7.08 - A Call For Help
INT. Third Orbit Hilton, Mall Entrance
(CLARKE ONE and VERNE arrive at the Hotel, from inside the mall. The lobby is expansive. The hotel is gargantuan.)
CLARKE ONE
I have a High-corder in my room with all the details; I'll show you what I mean about the type-four paradox based on pi-
VERNE
You're staying here?
CLARKE ONE
I always stay at the Third Orbit Hilton when I'm in the Zeta System.
VERNE
Dee-Lux!
(They board a glass elevator. CLARKE inserts his card. Others board and leave throughout [Bus Patrons #4-10 and CAMEO TWENTY-SEVEN]. The men pay the tourists no mind; the riders shoot curious glances. One rider, however, is intently listening...)
CLARKE ONE
I believe that somewhere, in an alternate reality, there is a problem; a time ripple -- and this ripple is causing a fracturing of realities across The Universe.
VERNE
Causing us to step in and out of other worlds -- or to create them at will -- we have powers, here. Maybe elsewhere. What do you know about the paradox?
CLARKE ONE
The Phantom World is a product of the paradox and the realignment of order in The Cosmos depends on our solving its riddle.
VERNE
What caused the paradox? What event caused it? Why are the Time Cops involved?
CLARKE ONE
As far as the presence of the Time Police, I am unsure. However, I first noticed a flux in the quantum fold seven months ago. Shortly before our departure from the Rhea system, I detected an inverse yellow-room echo when we went blue.
VERNE
I recall you mentioning that before- That could have be caused by anything; anyone.
CLARKE ONE
I thought as well and initially dismissed its readings until it expanded on its own with no clear pattern to its expansion. It was not incremental or exponential -- We had not restocked our supply of Ellisonium yet; the inverse numbers eminating from the echo were astronomical -- beyond those found in a singluarity.
VERNE
Yeah, yeah, I got a yellow spike too, before New Trinity's Terraformation, but I dismissed it as well. It was astronomical on a negligible scale -- hardly measurable at all, yet a speck of something else -- what was it? A ghost? We weren't capable of creating anything like that at the time of my reading it; we didn't have full use of our blue room-
CLARKE ONE
Yet, the scale of the quantum sphere that I detected would coincide with the measure of fuel needed for a planetary terraformation-
VERNE
And mine would certainly fit the glass slipper of red-room quantum neurosurgery- if it was us, than those events are linked by yet another inverse paradox, in time -- something that hasn't happened yet.
CLARKE ONE
Or something that happened long ago. The dependency factor is what is relevant. The planetary Terraformation may nor may not have actually occurred at all and may have brought us to the Phantom World de facto--
VERNE
(Here's news.) Huh? What do you mean?
CLARKE ONE
Inadvertently. Casting us to the Phantom World may have been an expected or desired result --
VERNE
Huh?
CLARKE
In another reality, New Trinity may already be colonized-
VERNE
(Never suspected it, yet sees the truth of CLARKE ONE'S analysis -- it has to be, there's no other rational explanation:) Yes! Of course! That's it! Yes! That's why the fuel was vaporized and why we were replicated! The terraformation pre-existed elsewhere!
CLARKE ONE
It seems to be the only logical conclusion. Which makes one wonder why Washington sent us to terraform a planet that was colonized in another reality; knowing it would have dire results for all involved.
VERNE
If we were in a paradox, we would never perceive it, and neither would a colony in another reality- if somebody gave me those orders intentionally to cause a mishap-
CLARKE ONE
Routine orders that apparently were not so routine -- we should look into who sent those orders.
VERNE
(Searching memory:) They sure looked legit -- they were eyes-only. We were aboard the Eliza, and they used my old name and rank, Ensign Julian Sickle -- of course I thought it was legit. It was from Jeremy -- Admiral Jeremy.
CLARKE ONE
The father of modern-
VERNE
The same -- I've never met him, but I've heard of him enough to double-check the authentication -- I didn't even know he was still alive. It couldn't have been a prank; there were a thousand attachments to that order...
CLARKE ONE
A conspiracy, then? Why would an admiral intentionally order a captain to create a paradox?
VERNE
It doesn't make any sense. It can't be an oversight-
CLARKE ONE
Surely not. We should be cautious, Captain. We do not know how high this could go.
(We certainly know how high the elevator goes -- what are we on, the 200th floor? ...Still going...)
VERNE
The dog paradox, that was a splinter from my initial return to normal space back in-, well, most of that's resolved, anyway -- (CLARKE ONE raises his Nemoean brow.) -- it's not The President; she was involved negatively.
CLARKE ONE
There is something else we haven't discussed.
VERNE
(Sparks a blunt. This elevator ride is obviously going to take a while. The other patrons of the elevator don't mind the herb and join rotation and a couple even pass their stop just to get-in on it. Who cares if they talk like madmen? "Got Dank?") What's that?
CLARKE ONE
If we solve the original paradox, the results of subsequent actions may be also affected.
VERNE
Actions like what? Being imprisoned? Fighting Nazis? Watching bad movies? I'd love to forget the whole damn thing.
CLARKE ONE
Beyond your destruction of the known Universe from within the Quantum Sphere, there are other factors which need to be accounted for -- I was referring to the person we currently know as Azalea.
VERNE
(Pause.) What about her?
CLARKE ONE
The operation that saved her life was successfully performed by Verne One.
VERNE
Yes, and I assimilated him and I know all his secrets, and I understand why I was kept in the dark for so long. Also, Azalea One is now in the body of my Azalea, nature saw to that.
CLARKE ONE
In reality, the dead Azalea. Certainly a moot point if she never has a life-saving operation-
VERNE
Equally moot if she never gets her head sliced in half-
CLARKE ONE
Point taken. (Reserved, sensitive:) To solve that one, we must find an earlier, maroon-room paradox.
VERNE
Oh yeah? You thinkin' time travel? Hah! You gotta bead on it or something?
CLARKE ONE
No, I do not. Verne One was avidly pursuing a way to negate the paradox with a new application of the white room: To sustain the benefits of maroon room use without causing a green room depletion. He knew there was something about the maroon room that could help, but he was unable to reach it from The Phantom World and was equally reluctant to discuss its particulars with me. I am surprised you are not aware of this.
VERNE
The maroon room is taboo in my mind; I always think it's better to not know everything. Lemme guess: Verne One stayed mum?
CLARKE ONE
He kept it a secret for a billion virtual years; all I've deduced is that he thought a solution could be drawn from altering a past event, an event that both you and he had in common.
VERNE
He was wrong. You can't undo jack; what is done is done and what is gone is gone; you can't conjure something out of nothing.
CLARKE ONE
He believed one could -- from Oblivion.
VERNE
No, you can't. I probably don't remember his cock-a-maney theory because he was wrong. Believe me, I know. We were stuck in Oblivion. Well, not you. The other Clarke was stuck there and he'd agree with me. Seems you've only been stuck in five-star hotels.
CLARKE ONE
There's a complimentary breakfast-in-bed and also free room service.
VERNE
Wonderful. Couldn't we have just squeezed into the dumb-waiter and beamed into your room? This is a long ride up.
CLARKE ONE
The panorama of the Zetan orbits is one of the best I've seen. I should get a photo on the way back down.
VERNE
I'll be sure to send a postcard to Clarke Zero -- your host. You outta get back with him, you know. He's probably just dying for you to reassimilate.
CLARKE ONE
In time. Right now, we need to focus on finding your remaining clone.
VERNE
If you're talking about The Baron, then maybe you and I do have the same goal.
CLARKE ONE
When we find our other halves, I'm sure many answers that have been elusive will suddenly become apparent.
(Bing! Finally on their floor. VERNE takes a mondo hit and hands the half-smoked spleef to a Hawaiian-looking guy [CAMEO TWENTY-SEVEN] wearing a big smile.)
CLARKE ONE
Keep it, brah. If you're going up to the penthouse, you're only halfway there.
CAMEO TWENTY-SEVEN
Shoots! Mahalo!
VERNE
(They exit, the doors close.) Huh, that guy looked kinda familiar...
CLARKE ONE
With a trillion clones in The Universe, everyone looks familiar...
VERNE
Yes, but... oh well, never mind. Back to our problem. (Sparks a joint this time.) I could use a drink...
CLARKE ONE
That's your problem, sir, not mine.
VERNE
Oh, no, no. I was talking about-
CLARKE ONE
If it makes you feel better, I have a fully-stocked wet-bar in the room.
VERNE
Music to my ears. (Pause, passes.) Clarke, obviously this Baron clone didn't come from the same mess of mishaps that spawned guys like you and T-K-Four-Twenty. Any clue from where he came?
CLARKE ONE
I have my suspicions.
(They proceed down a short hallway. Music up. Kinda like 2001: A Space Odyssey with horns and kettle drums and all.)
VERNE
Oh yeah? What?
CLARKE ONE
A common event in both of your histories-
VERNE
No, no. I see where you are going with this. Clarke Zero has money-melded that theory to death already. The Baron's crazy. He just thinks he's a clone from the Roanoke; he's not. I was alone on that ship and I was cloneless, not clueless. Believe me -- No one else made it out.
CLARKE ONE
There's only one way to find the truth -- we should find The Baron. We could make a green room, and look for him ourselves.
(They round a corner.)
VERNE
Sure. Sounds better than what I thought you were gonna say -- I'm certainly not going to make a maroon room and-
MS: Guardian at the end of a long hallway; man-sized.
(Duh-Dum! Boom-Boom-Boom-Boom-Boom-Boom-Boom-Boom...)
CLARKE ONE
Captain, something is very out of place here.
VERNE
You can say that again.
CLARKE ONE
Captain, something is very out of place here.
VERNE
Guardian! What in Hollywood's Hinkey Hankey are you doing here?
GUARDIAN
I have come to... ask for help.
(The men approach.)
VERNE
Help? What kind of help?
GUARDIAN
Things are not as they seem.
VERNE
(A quick Nemo look.) You can say that again.
GUARDIAN
Things are not as they seem.
VERNE
Do you always talk with an echo like that? (Pause.) Tell you what, Cupcake, why don't you morph your butt into Clarke's room and we'll pour ourselves a couple of shots and smoke a few blunts and you can tell your buddy Jules all about it.
GUARDIAN
I need you to stop him -- he's a madman.
VERNE
If I don't get my drink on, you'll be seeing a madman right here.
GUARDIAN
Please. Your doctor, he's taken my niece hostage.
VERNE
Huh? Neice? You got a family? And what about Doc? What you sayin' about Doc?
GUARDIAN
I meant, his Doctor.
VERNE
Clarke's do- You mean Wells One? What's this about a hostage? Where's he at?
GUARDIAN
He is trying to change what was. He is in what you call -- a quantum conduit -- a room.
(The two men look to one another.)
VERNE
Okay Guardian, we're intrigued -- we'll help you. Grab your Highcorder, Clarke. And bring whatever stash you got, we might be away a while.
CLARKE ONE
Yes, Captain.
(It just sounded natural for him to say it. He dashes into his room nearby, near the end of the hall.)
VERNE
Where's Doc One now?
GUARDIAN
He had me send him to the... maroon room.
VERNE
The- To do what? Who is with him?
GUARDIAN
Your doctor, and my neice, Nancy.
VERNE
Is he armed?
GUARDIAN
Only with knowledge. He might create a paradox there that none may survive...
VERNE
Yeah-yeah. Enough with the scary talk, where's he going, specifically?
GUARDIAN
I do not know -- he said little about his intentions and told me not to track him.
VERNE
I think I might know. (Sighs. CLARKE ONE returns.) Forget what I was about to say earlier.
CLARKE ONE
That's easy, since, as usual, I have no idea what you're referring to. Should I retreive the deployment case, Captain?
VERNE
Absolutely. Go back into your room and have the hotel replicator call-up a med-kit and at least a dozen oxygen masks.
CLARKE ONE
Should I make weapons? Where did the Guardian say he went?
VERNE
He doesn't know, but I have a good guess. We probably won't need weapons, but having them can't hurt -- but we'll definitely need lav-suits.
CLARKE ONE
Lav-suits? Are we going into space, Captain?
VERNE
That, and more.
CLARKE ONE
Sir, an E-suit is a much-
VERNE
E-suits aren't compatible for where we're going, Clarke -- we'll need the old-school style get-ups -- the suits with them non-metric hoses. (CLARKE is off.) Okay, Guardian, I'll go in and get your niece for ya, but what's in it for me?
GUARDIAN
What do you mean?
VERNE
You're asking me to visit the one place this side of Oblivion that I never wanted to go to again to risk my neck saving someone and you think I'm gonna do this out of the goodness of my heart for some relative of yours that I haven't even met?
GUARDIAN
Well, yes. Your Doctor is also there as well.
VERNE
So?
GUARDIAN
I- I thought you were one of the good guys.
VERNE
I am one of the good guys, but I still got to look out for number one; it's my butt that's gonna be on the line. So what's in it for me?
GUARDIAN
What do you want?
VERNE
I'm tired of chasing-down equations. If I get through this and get your niece back, I want you to promise that you'll use your powers to do something for me.
GUARDIAN
What do you want me to do?
VERNE
Set it all right again; ease my mind -- wash-out all this paradox that's been haunting me for a thousand years and get me back into true reality so I know who I really am and what in Harriet's Hotel For Hobnobbing Hobbits I am supposed to be doing in the first place -- get all this time-anomaly crap out of my universe and make everything okay again.
GUARDIAN
That's a tall order. I have limitations, but I will try to assist you in making the time-stream right again, I promise.
VERNE
Good, good. Also, I want the drop on whatever's in there, I know the maroon room is all about surprises and secrets --
GUARDIAN
I have a secret, and I can ensure you will be pleasantly surprised.
VERNE
I won't even bother to probe -- your word's good enough for me; you've played fair so far -- so am I gonna have the drop on whatever's in there? I don't need to worry about using my blaster immediately, will I?
GUARDIAN
I'll send you to the most isolated point of entry, a gateway that hasn't been used in...
(CLARKE ONE wheels-in a cart, loaded with supplies.)
CLARKE ONE
I managed to call up two functioning, space-proof blasters, regardless if you think we'll need them or not. I also have some antacids, a fifth of whiskey and some Saurian Brandy.
VERNE
Good man! You know best, Clarke One. Do the voo-doo that you do, Guardian...
GUARDIAN
Excuse me?
VERNE
Your gateway-time-portal-thing, do it.
GUARDIAN
Oh, that.
(GUARDIAN turns maroon and begins to hum -- like a machine; not like a whimsical person.)
CLARKE ONE
We're going into the maroon room?
VERNE
Yes. A time-closet in the maroon room.
CLARKE ONE
A time-closet?
VERNE
For clues. The laws of science operate differently there-
CLARKE ONE
I am familiar with the maroon room, sir. However, these outdated lav suits may not serve us at all-
VERNE
We'll use them enough, as soon as your Highcorder finds what I know is in there.
CLARKE ONE
What are we looking for, Captain?
VERNE
Doc. Where we'll find the doctor, we'll find The Guardian's niece. Where we'll find Doc, I suspect, is inside the remnant of a dirty little secret I told him years ago over a cheeseburger.
CLARKE ONE
What secret, Captain? Where are we going?
VERNE
(Sighs.) There's something in the maroon room that nobody but Doc and I know about. I wish now that I wouldn't have told him. (Pause.) Doc's the kinda guy who thinks he can talk a problem out of happening or thinks he can reason his way out of a nightmare. I know better; follow me. (Pauses at doorway.) Clarke, we're going to the place where all this madness began. (Pulls off a lav suit. Puts a blaster in a gun belt.) Hang on to those supplies and get ready for a very bumpy ride.
CLARKE ONE
Where are we going? What is in the maroon room, Captain?
VERNE
(Prepping to dress in the suit. CLARKE follows suit.) To most people who don't know what to look for, nothing. To us, a doorway to hell.
CLARKE ONE
I'm not following you. Is this why we need the space suits?
VERNE
(Suiting up:) Yeah. And the plasma torch, don't forget that; we may need it right away.
CLARKE ONE
What is your plan? What are we going to do?
VERNE
We're gonna change reality, you and me. We're gonna sneak into the maroon room and visit a place I left long ago.
CLARKE ONE
Where, Captain?
VERNE
Where else? (Dons gun belt. Pause.) A sunken ship in a graveyard of lost worlds. We're gonna hitch a ride. (Deep sigh as his helmet's visor slowly closes. From inside the helmet:) Ghost Ship Roanoke.
(VERNE walks into GUARDIAN and disappears within. A suited-up CLARKE ONE and his cart follow without comment.)
FTB