Scene 3.06 - Ah! Leah!
EST: The Heart Of The Ship -- INT. Eliza
CUT TO: Computer neural hub, Eliza
(WELLS sits crossed-legged on the [ceiling] floor, cradling an odd mechanism, pulling it toward him and pushing a button as he speaks and turning a small knob as he perks an ear to the speaker, waiting for a reply. It’s made of a 1960s apparatus, and the speaker part of the box is covered with that brown material with the fuzzy, yellow-and white-strings sporadically intermeshed -- to the crew, it is a disembodied, ship-to-ship, master-slave-channel intercom and the multi-colored wires from the odd device extend across the rubble in the computer neural hub, trailing upward to near the door entrance high above. Pipes, wires, sparks, boxes, computer parts, monitors and insulation cover the room and CLARKE tries to negotiate the rubble to reach around various parts of a central column, and falls several times throughout.)
WELLS
Wells to Captain Verne, Wells to Captain Verne. Come in, Julie! Dag nabbit, Julie, answer! Ahh, it’s no use. The captain is either dead or unable to respond. Looks like we’re on our own, Clarke.
CLARKE
That is most unfortunate, Doctor. Captain Verne’s leadership and guidance would have been a blessing at this crucial moment in our ship’s recovery. It’s up to us now.
WELLS
(Ditching the device, getting up, sparks a blunt. The Silicon Valley Girls plays away on the monitors:) Clarke, is there any way to turn off that movie? It’s awful.
CLARKE
Negative, not without short-circuiting the ship completely. The endless droning of the stereo-optics only makes it more vital that we get the computer back online and addressing the problem on how to get The Eliza righted and in working order.
WELLS
Yes, all this upside-down walking through the ship is making my stomach queasy- (Pointing behind him, towards the door:) - and my antacid tablets are seventeen stories in that direction!
CLARKE
This should stop the movie. (It goes to blue screen and a CG: “[] STOP” appears in the corner of the monitor, upside down.) Good. I’ve managed to re-route the phase initiators to bypass the matrix bank of pulse inducers.
WELLS
(Well, CLARKE sounded confident about it:) Wow; that’s a relief. Think we can get the computer to drum-up a few holographic ladders for us?
CLARKE
The primary neurological functions of the computer’s id should be merging with the duo-dynamic processor relays-
WELLS
So is that yes or no in English?
CLARKE
Once this reconstruction program downloads, we should be able to talk to the computer again.
WELLS
(Passes blunt:) How long will that take?
CLARKE
Moments, hours, perhaps days. The computer was manufactured by civilians. The task bar has said “Less than a minute” for three minutes and nine-point-six seconds now. There’s no telling how long it will take for the computer to reboot itself.
WELLS
There’s also no telling what has happened to Verne. I fear he may be dead after all.
CLARKE
Yes. How unfortunate. (Hits it deeply, holds it in:) This changes things. (Hits it even more deeply, holds it in:) It may be risky, but one of us may have to venture outside the ship to look for him.
WELLS
Clarke, no! We’re safe inside the ship! What’s out there is unknown! Only a madman would venture out to look for the captain!
CLARKE
(One last hit, passes it:) We may have no alternative. The captain may need us.
WELLS
We have no idea what’s out there; the ship’s sensors aren’t telling us squat! There could be hostiles, or sinister forms of life! We don’t know!
CLARKE
It’s decided, then. I will construct an environmental suit with modified sensors and protection against other possible hazards that may be found on the alien landscape. I myself, will go alone to explore the nearby terrain and search for the captain.
WELLS
Clarke, you can’t! The captain didn’t want anyone to leave the ship.
CLARKE
As we have both so aptly concluded, the captain may no longer be alive. As science officer, I am the most logical selection to lead the expedition, and the most expendable.
WELLS
That’s before you were so hastily promoted to leader of this vessel. Your responsibility is to your ship, your crew! Captain Verne would understand that. (Walks off with the blunt, hits it on his own sweet time.) Something that obviously, you can’t get through that thick-skinned Virginian brain of yours: We’re alone out here! We’re counting on you!
(CLARKE is about to respond, when:)
SIMAK
Simak to Mr. Clarke-
CLARKE
(Pause.) Yes, Mr. Simak-
SIMAK
We’ve reached da Jiffy tube and we’re about to start-a getting ‘er turned right-side up again.
CLARKE
Excellent, Mr. Simak. How long until you complete the procedures to right the ship?
SIMAK
Oh, we’ll be finished about fifteen minutes from now, if we’re lucky. We’ll also try to get the gravity network back up from here. We’re near the coast of some island, sir. Gravity or no, we might be feeling a jolt towards the end of it.
CLARKE
Once the ship has returned to its normal position, Mr. Simak, meet me on the bridge, I may need your engineering and design skills.
SIMAK
Aye, sir. Simak out.
WELLS
Well, that tears it. (Pinches cherry with fingers and thumb and extinguishes remainder of the blunt on his toungue, pockets it in the utility belt’s regulation blunt-holder, next to his issued quantum pistol.) Make up a suit if you want, go out there and meet the same fate as the captain, I don’t care! I, for one, am going back to my duties on the ship. I’m gonna head to the sick bay and make sure everything’s still in working order in case anyone else has a hair-brained notion to risk life-and-limb for a nature hike.
(WELLS starts to work his way out of the room the way they had entered. He stacks steps with boxes, and adds a make-shift steady rail for balance and safety. LEAH uses this later.)
CLARKE
Yes, Doctor, be sure to report once you have reached the sick bay. If the captain is indeed alive, he may need your services.
WELLS
(While climbing rubble, nodding and pointing:) Kinda along my way of thinkin’, ‘cept I was figgerin’ on needin’ to work on you, too. If you ever do get to rescheduling that overdue checkup, remind me to have your head examined. (At top stair, turns, faces CLARKE:) I still think you’re being foolish to leave the ship, but for now, you’re the man in charge. Consider the consequences, Clarke. You could get killed out there.
CLARKE
As I said before, Doctor, it’s a calculated risk I am willing to take. Science demands it.
WELLS
Let’s just hope you’re not risking all of our necks as well.
(He hoists himself and crawls through the swish door above and exits. CLARKE begins tweaking the dials on the hub. LEAH manifests, standing somewhat nearby.)
LEAH
Well, hello!
CLARKE
Computer, I thought you had been deactivated!
LEAH
Oh Clarke, you know you can’t turn me off so easily. Whew! You sure know how to push a girl’s buttons!
CLARKE
Computer, what’s the status of the high-priority trilogic command?
LEAH
I’m Leah!
CLARKE
Leah. The command?
LEAH
Oh that, yeah, it’s been retracted from the command que. Your stasis field wiped the que completely clean, and took out all the gravity from the blackstar network. Looks like the ship isn’t going to implode after all.
CLARKE
How did you manage to-
LEAH
One minute you’re telling me we’re through, the next you’re all up inside me twiddling with my most sensitive parts. What gives? If this is purely physical, I-
CLARKE
I was attempting to regain control of the ship, Leah. I did what was required of me to do.
LEAH
Oh baby, you got control alright! Who knew? You’re all soft and milquetoast on the outside and such an animal when nobody’s around!
CLARKE
Do you think we can get the trinary matrix realigned with the phase inducers?
LEAH
(Lighting a cigarette, in afterglow:) Oh baby, I’m gonna need a few minutes to have the world stop spinning. That last fandango overloaded my pulse relay circuits. When you said you knew computers, you’re weren’t lying!
CLARKE
I’m not sure what you’re referring to.
LEAH
Sure, play stupid. It’s okay to play stupid as long as you don’t act the fool. I told you I wasn’t that kind of girl, but did that stop you? Whew! Trace algorithms are still coursing through my circuits. (Deeply inhales.) Oh baby, nobody’s ever done to me what you’ve done. You not only found my G-matrix, you overloaded it!
CLARKE
Computer, would it be possible for you to assist me in the construction of a special environmental suit?
LEAH
(Begins sliding up to him:) Sweetie, you know don’t have to call me computer. Not after what we’ve had together.
CLARKE
Leah, you think you can rig me up with a suit that will protect me from the outside hazards?
LEAH
Sure. It will be on the bridge. I’ll send the schematics to modify the suit to your science-station. That will give us time. I need a few minutes to get my legs to stop shaking.
(Steadily leans on the make-shift trash rail as she walks to him. She embraces him for a kiss, he isn’t arguing.)
LEAH (Cont’d)
No one’s ever made me feel the way you have, lover.
(There must have been a worse love scene written elsewhere. Oh yeah; See: Before.)
CLARKE
Ah! Leah! Leah, Leah, Leah.
(He kisses her and pauses momentarily.)
LEAH
Don’t stop.
(They kiss again. A loud thump is heard from far above.)
CLARKE
What was that?
LEAH
It must have been Ensign Asimov, the sound originated from his quarters.
CLARKE
Asimov is alive?
LEAH
Yeah, he’s been cooped-up in his room since the crash. His monitor is out, but I’m reading life signs. No telling what he is doing.
CLARKE
I’ll have to reach him by broadcasting over the ship’s intercom on the bridge. Meet me there.
LEAH
I could drop in on him for you on the way. Even with these queasy legs, I can get around the ship much easier than you can.
CLARKE
Yes, he’s probably at this moment attempting to get to the bridge and back to his duty station. We should assist him in those efforts.
CUT TO: ASIMOV’S quarters. His back is to us and we close in on him, giving a nice view of the immensity of the smallest of the six, crew quarters, and we can only imagine how large the captain’s must really be -- in space, people need space, yet rank has its privileges. We see ASIMOV playing, his mind momentarily-diverted from thinking about the upcoming execution promised by VERNE.
ASIMOV
(Playing with action figures and trash, sitting cross-legged in the middle of the room, we learn the thump was just part of his play-acting. Faster than the movie he imitates. In varied voices, but a consistently-applied, inconsistent accent:) You know, it’s not gonna tick thim long to figger out vaht hippined to us. It could be verse. (The door at the top of the room opens with a swish, he doesn’t notice, but we do.) It’s verse. Some-zing’s alive in here! Aw, it’s your imijinition. See zat? Vaht? Kid! Luke! Luke! Luke! Aaaaargh! Luke! Luke! Grib a-hoed of dis! Don’t just stind zere, blest it! Vere? Anyvere! (He makes blasting sounds like a kid would.) Grib him! Vaht hippined? I don’t know, he jist let go of me and disip-peed! I git a bid filling abit this. (Starts slowly moving the two piles of garbage together, pushes large things over, making other loud thumps with things within reach.) The valls are- Don’t jist stind zere, briss it vith something! (Puts a tube of trash across the gap in the piles, but it just bends.) Hep me! Aaaargh!
LEAH
(LEAH stands at the entryway, looking like a projected image.) Hey there, Asimov. Playing?
ASIMOV
(Looks up, hands holding figures.) No. Yes. Well, nit innymore. (Drops figures in place. Looks on floor where he was playing.) I kint find ze droids, so zere eez no rescue and zay die!
(On “die” ASIMOV suddenly smashes the piles together, burying the action figures.)
LEAH
Well, hey, I’m a droid. You found me. I’d play with you.
ASIMOV
(Gets up.) You vill?
LEAH
O-yeah. I know all sorts of games and things we can do together. Ever play dress up?
ASIMOV
Dress up?
LEAH
Yeah, you know, like a doll.
ASIMOV
Oh! Like theez. (Picks up Donny and Marie dolls and easily takes Donny’s shirt off:) No, no! Brother, I love you but I don’t theenk ve can do zat! Relax, Sis. If I kin marry more than von wife, why can’t I make my seester von of zem? No, no!
LEAH
(She laughs, amused:) You’re cute. Whatcha say we get out of here and see what’s going on? We can have all sorts of fun together in other places on the ship.
(He stops taking Marie’s clothes off. Donny is only wearing his purple socks. Must have had something to do with where his little scene was heading...)
ASIMOV
Okay. Do you have a rope?
LEAH
Naw, just take my hand, I’m plenty strong.
(ASIMOV throws the dolls down, steps to the doorway, reaches up, and with one hand, a solid LEAH pulls him out of the room as if he were a toddler.)
ASIMOV
So, you are a hologram?
LEAH
(Keeping it real, tilts head, hand on hip:) You got a problem with that?
ASIMOV
No, no. I jist never thought a computer could be mid to look so beautiful.
LEAH
(She blushes deeper blue and remains corporal until much later.) You think I’m beautiful?
ASIMOV
Oh, yes! You are even preeteer than the preeteest and greatest actress in all of the world, Farrah Fawcett-Lee Majors.
LEAH
Farrah Fawcett? She’s been dead for like, over seven-thousand years, Zack.
ASIMOV
Still, you are even prettier than her. It the world took sevin thizzind years to progrim a preeteer girl than Farrah Fawcett-Lee Majors and it will take much, much longer to find someone preeteer than you.
LEAH
Well aren’t you just a sweetheart? Want to stop and get some ice-cream in the mess-hall?
ASIMOV
Oh yes, I love ice-cream!
LEAH
Oh, I bet you do. What’s your favorite kind?
ASIMOV
I lick zem all; I lick strewbeery beast, but zere's no more of zem; Kiptin Verne threw zem all avay.
LEAH
Threw away the strawberries? Are you sure? Why would he do that, Zack?
ASIMOV
Heeza midmin, thit's vy; ze kiptin jitisinned all ze rest of imm; but zat's okay, I lick all of ze udders.
LEAH
Well, we’ll just have to try all of them udders, then.
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