Scene 6.10 - A Vowel Movement
EST: EXT. MERCEDES SHIP - CALDERON - DAY
(A drum corps pounds-out a powerful cadence in front of a lava-works display as the Duke, PORSCHE and JEZEBEL mount the steel stairs to their ship. In the doorway, they turn back for a final look. The Duke places a hand on PORSCHE'S shoulder. We see the signet mood ring. JEZEBEL is there. She tries to get PORSCHE to look at her but he scowls and turns to his father.)
JEZEBEL
(Turning away, inner voice:) Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-nine bottles of beer...
(The door of the spaceship closes.)
EXT. HIGHLINER - SPACE
(Approx. 3,420 Mercedes ships are approaching the Guild Highliner, which is staggeringly colossal, then again, who is used to seeing scale in space? It's not like there are football fields out there or anything. The Mercedes ships look like dots next to the sun, but so does everything else; except the Highliner. The Duke's ship enters the frame and moves toward the Highliner.)
INT. MERCEDES SHIP - SPACE
(PORSCHE, JEZEBEL and DUKE CHEETO look out the forward viewing glass as tiny lights move outside in the darkness. They hear and feel their ship stop with a huge, echoing, metallic jolt. They look at each other in the silence which follows.)
DUKE CHEETO
Soon they'll begin to fold space.
PORSCHE
(Inner voice:) Far off in the control rooms.... Travelling without moving.
INT. CONTROL ROOM - HIGHLINER - SPACE
(We pass through electrical shields into a 2,000-foot high control room filled with green spice gas. On the floor are large gratings covering an exhaust and filtering system. Tons of spice gas are being converted into the clouds of gas along a wall of machinery. From within a dark metal tunnel comes a Guild Navigator. He exits the tunnel and swims through the gas 1,000 feet to a six-dimensional layered miniature replica of The Universe. Here's where it gets a little tricky... The Navigator emits a long trail of smoke from his mouth which travels to one edge of the Universe and changes into a likeness of the planet Calderon. The Navigator turns and emits another stream of smoke which travels to the opposite side of the Universe. It changes into a likeness of Darukkus. The Navigator begins to put his webbed fingers in amongst the stars and he emits sounds and bursts of smoke into the mass of stars and galaxies. The Universe begins to vibrate and elongate, then to curve. Electrical lightning traverses from Calderon to Darukkus as the Universe bends into a seven-leaf-shape. Darukkus submerges deep into the smoke. The navigator swims to the point where Darukkus disappeared. He begins to pull and tear a hole in the Universe. Stars like sparks and sounds and rings of smoke appear, along with a roaring wind. The Navigator swims deep into this hole through the rings of smoke. The Navigator becomes more and more transparent, until he's lost in darkness. The sounds fade.)
EXT. HIGHLINER - ABOVE DARUKKUS - SPACE
(Suddenly, the real planet Darukkus appears and the giant Highliner materializes above it.)
EXT. DARUKKEEN - DAY
(Through a brownish-green haze appears the damp lily-pad-city of Darukkeen.)
INT./EXT. THE MERCEDES SHIP - DAY DARUKKEEN
(The Mercedes ship has landed at Darrukeen. The door is open - the family walk down the steps - DUKE CHEETO with PORSCHE and JEZEBEL.)
EXT. GROUNDS - DARUKKEEN PALACE - DAY
(Clusters of troops standing at attention around the enormous dark, cool doorway as the family enters the Palace.)
EXT. PALACE - DARUKKEEN - DAY
(The Mercedes banner is raised on the top of the Palace, peace sign waving proudly.)
INT. MILITARY SUB-BASEMENT ROOM - DARUKKEEN PALACE - DAY
(Mercedes army soldiers milling, yelling noisily.)
INT. PASSAGEWAY - DARUKKEEN PALACE - DAY.
(In a darkened passageway, fans turn, casting deep, slow-moving shadows. Sounds echo in the distance.)
INT. COMMUNICATIONS ROOM - DARUKKEEN PALACE - DAY
(A room of technicians and electronic gear. The signals are being heard and interpreted.)
MERCEDES TECHNICIAN
Narc-On-Ems!
EXT. BLACK ROCK - DARUKEEN - DAY
(Far in the distance in deep black rock, Narc-On-Em spies move, carrying strange electronic equipment.)
INT. PASSAGEWAY - DARUKKEEN PALACE - DAY
(SURFER marches down a hallway with a squad of TROOPS with electronic gadgetry, lights and sounds going constantly.)
SURFER
(Into a radio microphone:) No! Nein! Negative! Nyet! Why isn't the stinkin' shield up yet?
INT. GENERATOR ROOM - DARUKKEEN PALACE - DAY
(Down in the basement, Mercedes engineers are removing a complicated device from heavy machinery. A MAN radios back to SURFER.)
MERCEDES RADIO MAN
Sir -- We found and removed another sabotage device. It was the Narc-On-Ems all right. The shield will be going up now, sir.
(The engineers activate a series of atometric, Heinz-57, generators. Suddenly sounds begin. The machines start; at first low, then they whine upwards to a high pitch. When the pitch is steady, a series of levers are pulled.)
EXT. PALACE - DARUKKEEN - DAY
(Just after the second set of levers is pulled, a huge house shield is seen going up in a nippled-condom shape, encompassing the Palace with shimmering protection.)
EXT. WINDOW - DARUKKEEN PALACE - DAY
(From a small window, SURFER observes the shield with a critical eye.)
SURFER
(Inner voice; worried:) We know the Narc-On-Ems are disgusting and sleazy, but we're finding their devices way too easy...
INT. GREAT HALL - DARUKKEEN PALACE - DAY
(Two giant blowglobes drift into the Great Hall where JEZEBEL and DR. LOOGY stand watching while a giant mouse's head is being hung above the massive fireplace. The MOVING TROOPS are unpacking crates and organizing furnishings. JEZEBEL watches them. Distant sounds reverberate inside an elaborate air vent beside them.)
LOOGY
Listen here.... You can hear the people of Darukkeen outside.... Can you here the cry "Sookie Sookie Sookie Sookie Sookie Sookie Soo!" of the torch sellers?
JEZEBEL
So many reminders of the scarcity of flame.
LOOGY
Have you noticed the line of plasma torches along the wall... the Narc-On-Ems put them in... to flaunt their herbal wealth in front of these people.... Each day those torches blaze enough spice to sustain the highs of one hundred men.
JEZEBEL
Hmmm. I think I've heard that somewhere before; I'll sure put a stop to that -- and no more selling resin at the palace gates.
LOOGY
Those Brew-men merchants need to sell resin to survive.
JEZEBEL
They can have the real leaf -- what was thrown into those torches will be allotted each morning to the Brew-men citizenry.
LOOGY
Surfer may not like it, he doesn't like crowds gathering in large numbers. People like hand-outs. People get in fights, yaknow.
JEZEBEL
As the bound concubine of the Duke, I run the house affairs. Surfer will just have to live with it. I refuse to flaunt herbal wealth while exploiting the native population with the foul-smelling resin of ditch weed. And no more smoking Half-Baked Schwag-Weed within the palace gates! I'm sure Cheeto may carry that edict across the city, if not the planet! Greedy Grime Ditch Weed is no longer the official smoke of Darukkeen. Let it be the Brew-men's own native kind -- Symolea Leaf.
LOOGY
You are wise, Jezebel. It was an unpopular tradition started by a mandate by the Baron Narc-On-Em himself, it's easily reversed.
JEZEBEL
The way you say Narc-On-Em... I didn't know you had so much reason to hate them.
LOOGY
(Swiftly:) My wife, Ganja... you didn't know my wife... they...
JEZEBEL
(Out loud:) Forgive me... (Inner voice:) His wife was Been Lez-a-bit, too... the signs of submission are all over him... They must have narc-ed her out.
(JEZEBEL sees a droplet of sweat break out on LOOGY'S cheek.)
LOOGY
I'm sorry I'm unable to talk about it.
(Above them a series of iron curtains begins to open over deep rock window slots, sending narrow shafts of light down across the room. TWO MERCEDES WOMEN in uniform approach.)
MERCEDES WOMAN #1
(Referring to several robed figures standing in the room:) My lady... the local people... the maids and servants await your inspection. Hazmat has cleared them.
(LOOGY turns to JEZEBEL.)
LOOGY
The Narc-On-Ems may have tampered medically.... please wait.
(He turns a yellow light on a moves it over the crowd. The yellow light beam plays over the red-within-red eyes. One of the more-busty women, SHOUT-OUT GAPES, watches JEZEBEL continuously. LOOGY'S hand shakes slightly.)
JEZEBEL
(Inner voice; noticing LOOGY'S hands:) He's hiding something -- holding something back. (She studies his face closely.) It's not just his wife... He's a good man though. He's probably trying to save my feelings... (We see her mouth.) I could use The Tongue... make him tell me... It would only shame him. (We see her eyes.) I must place more trust in my friends.
(We see LOOGY turn toward her, fearful.)
WIPE TO:
INT. PASSAGEWAY - DARUKKEEN PALACE - DAY
(PORSCHE wanders through the darkened passageways alone, his footsteps echoing as goes. He takes pleasure observing the details of the rock palace but all the while he feels an uneasiness -- a feeling of fear builds in him.)
INT. PORSCHE'S BEDROOM - DARUKKEEN PALACE - DAY
(PORSCHE enters a small bedroom and sits down on the bed. He breaks out his U-POD, and activates it.)
INSERT - CELL PHONE
(We see a gigantic carryall creep above a spice harvester and pick it up from a massive bough branch as a narrator speaks.)
U-POD V.O.
One carryall handles four spice pruning teams; however, it will fly only two harvesters at a time. Today, we have four hundred and twenty harvesters and nine hundred and sixty-nine carryalls....
BACK TO SCENE
(PORSCHE looks up. Across the room he sees a tray of small pinners which have been laid out. He goes to them and scans them with his poison detector, which he carries on his belt. A pleasant tone sounds and the word "safe" appears in green light. PORSCHE takes a pinner, sparks it and turns back towards the bed. Suddenly he stops. He looks at the pinner.)
PORSCHE
(Inner voice:) Simoleon Spice...
(As he continues smoking he notices the sunlight through the slates over the window begins to glow white hot. PORSCHE'S eyes are intense as the light glows brilliantly.)
PORSCHE (Cont'd)
(Whispering inner voice:) Terrible purpose.... What is it?
INSERT - RED DROPLETS
(Some red droplets appear rushing through the white light. Three images follow:)
MENTAL IMAGES:
INT. CONTROL ROOM - EMPEROR'S PALACE - DAY
(A blurred Guild Navigator.)
INT. BAKER ROOM - TREE SABRE - NIGHT
(PORSCHE dead on a leafy floor.)
EXT. DARAKKEEN PALACE - NIGHT
(Resin boiling.)
PORSCHE V.O.
Thousands of acres of timber and not one lick of open flame...
INT. PORSCHE'S ROOM - DARUKKEEN PALACE - DAY
(The light decreases and PORSCHE stands trembling. As he moves to the bed he sees a portion of the headboard slowly folding down and he sees a chrome sliver of metal glide out from within the dark opening. He freezes.)
PORSCHE
(Inner voice:) A buster-booker!... It can't get me if I don't move... It's too dark in here for it to see clearly...
(The buster-booker begins to lift and swing across the room and back-- searching.)
PORSCHE (Cont'd)
(Inner voice:) I've got to grab it -- the suspensor field will make it slippery on the bottom -- I must grip it tightly.
(The buster-booker drops a little, circling around the bed. A faint humming sound is heard.)
PORSCHE (Cont'd)
(Inner voice:) Who is operating that thing?... It has to be someone in the Palace. Instant transpatial transport to Prison Planet Raygunn-Boosh. No trial, no jury, no judge. Do not pass go, do not collect- Think, man, think... I could shout for help but it would arrest whoever opened the door...
(Just as PORSCHE finishes this thought the other door to his room begins to open and SHOUT-OUT GAPES peers in. The buster-booker arrows past PORSCHE toward the motion. PORSCHE swiftly reaches out and grips the souless thing. It hums and twists violently in his hand. With a powerful turn and thrust, PORSCHE slams the glass nose of the needle into the stone wall. The device goes dead in his hand. He looks up into the deep red eyes of SHOUT-OUT GAPES.)
SHOUT-OUT GAPES
Uff-da! (Shaken:) It would've 'rested me, yeah?
PORSCHE
I was the target. It went to the motion. Who are you?
SHOUT-OUT GAPES
I am Shout-out Gapes... the housekeeper, and the bookie for the castle.
PORSCHE
(Inside voice:) A Brew-man... Could she be the operator? No... (To GAPES:) You're a bookie?
SHOUT-OUT GAPES
Yes. (Pulls betting sheet from seductive, lacy brassiere.) I run all the betting pools, doncha-know. Two to one agehnst the Narc-On-Em cliff snipers making it pest tonight, doncha'-know.
PORSCHE
Any odds on us making it past tonight?
SHOUT-OUT GAPES
Better adds for you than me, eh? I only gat two more appearances and the last has gat no lehnes, except, "Errr-aaagh-ack!" or something like that -- so what does that tell yus? I had bedder say this now. I must cleanse the way be-twin us, doncha-know.... You sehved my life... and we Brew-men pay our debts; U-betcha! It's known to us that you've gat a traitor in your midst, eh? Who it is we cannot seh, but we're certain of it. I-B-S-U not.
PORSCHE
(Inner voice:) A traitor...
(Before he can speak SHOUT-OUT GAPES is gone -- running-off down the passageway. JEZEBEL enters.)
PORSCHE (Cont'd)
(Looks to Jezebel:) Yo, Mom: That busty housekeeper says there is a traitor among us.
JEZEBEL
No way!
(We see SHOUT-OUT GAPES saunter down the long hall, observed by mother and son.)
PORSCHE
Way! Sure as Shangri-La, there's a traitor in the palace...
JEZEBEL
No! I mean, no way those are really real.
PORSCHE
(Smirks:) I could find out for you.
JEZEBEL
You keep to your studies, young man; I'll find out. After all, it's my job.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. PASSAGEWAY - DARUKKEEN PALACE - DAY
(Running TROOPS storm down the hallway with electronic gear and big stun guns [Like tazers, except cool and not so silly looking.])
INT. PASSAGEWAY - DARUKKEEN PALACE - DAY
(SURFER walks quickly toward SEVERAL TROOPS.)
SURFER
The operator is still on this globe! Y'all set up a bonar probe!
INT. AUTOPSY ROOM - DARUKKEEN PALACE - DAY
(LOOGY sticks his head out the doorway as SEVERAL TROOPERS run past. He scans an X-ray of a corpse and fings a long, cylindrical vial ebedded within the corpse, roughly where it would be if inserted into the corpse's rectum.)
LOOGY
My message! Oh, typical -- that's sure going to be alotta fun to extract... I'd better get some soap and water...
INT. OBSERVATION ROOM - DARUKKEEN PALACE - DAY
(CHEETO is calling on a radio phone. GENERALS surround him, as well as SMARTY.)
DUKE CHEETO
(On phone:) Surfer?... anything?... keep looking. (Inner voice:) ...and a traitor... Bog help us.
INT. SUB-SUB-SUB-BASEMENT [as opposed to the DOM-DOM-DOM-ATTIC] DARUKKEEN PALACE - DAY
(TROOPS come-off an elevator. The glow-span indicates the very bottom floor of 17 sub-floors. The ground is uneven rock and root and the ceiling is low. The troops fan-out; shining chemical lamps here and there. A soldier suddenly stops. Ahead in his light is a dead Narc-On-Em assassin -- bloody vomit dried around his mouth. He lies beside an electronic device.)
INT. AUTOPSY ROOM - DARUKKEEN PALACE - DAY
(LOOGY covers his face with his hands in a darkened room... sobbing.)
LOOGY
Oh, my Ganja! My poor, poor Ganja!
EXT. WALL - DARUKKEEN PALACE - NIGHT
(SEARCHLIGHTS sweep over the faces of City Brew-men who are sitting or moving solemnly around the outer wall of the Palace. Some are chanting "Four Legs Bad, Two Legs Better" and "All We Are Saying, Is Give Peace A Chance." Others hold up one open hand as a sign they feel the messiah is near. A slow-moving, burlap-backed lap-dog happily laps sap out of a small saphill; he snorts sappily.)
LAP-DOG
Woof!
INT. GREAT HALL - DARUKKEEN PALACE - NIGHT
(In the darkened hall we can hear the distant sound of the Brew-men reverberating.)
INT. OBSERVATION ROOM - DARUKKEEN PALACE - DAY
(CHEETO sits with PORSCHE, SURFER, NINE GENERALS and SIX SUB-LIEUTENANTS. In front of SURFER is a device flashing brilliant light bursts over his face. The others are all talking among themselves. Suddenly SURFER'S face gets a brilliant shine, as bright as his hair's sheen, and he begins speaking rapidly into the machine in code using a strained high voice.)
MS: SURFER
(He begins to tap dance. Shuffle-shuffle-kick!)
SURFER
(Mental voice:) Ooo eee, ooo ah ah ting tang, walla walla, bing bang -- heidi-heidi-heidi-hi, heidi-heidi-heidi-ho -- shoop, shooby-doo -- boom boom-sh-boom, rhyme-a-lyma-ding-dong, dip-te-dip-te-dip, dip-dip-dip-dip-dip-dip-dip-dip-doe-doe-doe-doe-doe-doe-doe (Beat.) Sha-na-na-na sha-na-na-na-na-na -- yakety-yak -- doo-doo-doo, da-da-da -- Aye-yi-yi, goo goo ga joob! Karma, Karma, Karma, Karma, Karma Chameleon...
(The machine flashes several bright irregular signals. Then it stops and hums. The shine leaves SURFER'S face.)
SURFER (Cont'd)
(Very fast and casually:) Shutz-pah... Surfer Hazmat... Mental... Master of Ceremonies.
(The hum stops. SURFER turns to DUKE CHEETO. He looks up. Everyone is quiet now.)
DUKE CHEETO
Can you just spill it without the rhyme for once? What's going on, Surfer?
SURFER
(Grimaces:) The Palace is now secure. The city of Darrukkeen is under martial law... we have troops here headquartered underground on sub-floors six through nine. The rest of the troops are stationed in Darukkeen and we have some on the airfield. Our new army is still training, but everything is shielded.... With the shielding, we are impenetrable. Dr. Kind is waiting, Sire, for your inspection of spice pruning operations, but since the attempt to arrest the young master, I am against your leaving the Palace, there's a lot of heat on.
DUKE CHEETO
(Very angry:) The attempt failed... Narc-On-Em captives have already been taken. We must crush the Narc-On-Em machine on Darukkus.... You all know what to do. (Turning towards SMARTY:) Smarty! We desperately need more spice pruners... many are threatening to leave on the next shuttle. We need spice drivers, weather scanners, leaf men... any with leaf-jumping experience. You must persuade them to enlist with us.
SMARTY
They shall come all for violence: their faces shall sup as the East wind. And they shall gather the captivity of the herbage.
DUKE CHEETO
Okay. (Squints at SMARTY, taps cashed bowl:) Very moving, Smarty. No more smokee-smokee for you... Not until you come down, anyway... Now, on your way... and take care of Dr. Kind until Porsche and I arrive. We will not be prisoners here in this place.
SMARTY
(Artfully easing the Duke's anger:) Behold! As a wild ass at a frat party, go I forth to my work.
(SMARTY strides off. SURFER sits, contemplating. PORSCHE and DUKE CHEETO smile at each other and shake their heads.)
INT. JEZEBEL'S CHAMBER - DARUKKEEN PALACE - DAY
(JEZEBEL is sitting in a small room, smiling, reading a note. It reads "I miss you. Cheeto." She sets the note down. She begins to tremble. She becomes fearful. In her mind she sees quick images:)
MENTAL IMAGES
INT. CONTROL ROOM - HIGHLINER
(A blurred Guild Navigator.)
INT. BAKER ROOM - TREE SABRE - NIGHT
(Porsche dead on a leafy floor.)
EXT. DARUKKEEN PALACE - NIGHT
(Resin boiling.)
INT. JEZEBEL'S CHAMBER - DARUKKEEN PALACE - DAY
(JEZEBEL continues to tremble.)
JEZEBEL
(Inner voice:) I must speak with you Cheeto!
INT. PASSAGEWAY - DARUKKEEN PALACE - DAY
(Outside in the passageway, feet suddenly move quietly toward the door to JEZEBEL'S room.)
INT. JEZEBEL'S CHAMBER - DARUKKEEN PALACE - DAY
(JEZEBEL hears this and looks up just as SHOUT-OUT GAPES silently enters her room.)
JEZEBEL (Cont'd)
(Staring at the red-eyed woman -- waiting for possible danger.) Yes?
SHOUT-OUT GAPES
I am Shout-out Gapes, your housekeeper, Noble Born. What are your orders, eh?
JEZEBEL
You may refer to me as "my lady." I am not noble born. I'm the bound concubine of Duke Cheeto -- mother of the heir designate.... "Shout-out"... that's an ancient word.
SHOUT-OUT GAPES
(Strangely asked:) You know the inch-ent drug slehng, yeah?
JEZEBEL
Drug slang, yeah! I know Jonesese and Feindish, all the hunting languages.
SHOUT-OUT GAPES
As the legend says, U-betcha!
JEZEBEL
(Inner voice:) That's it! The Missionaria Positiona has been here planting protective legends against a day of Been Lez-a-bit need. And that day has come. I must play out this sham. (Out loud:) I know the Dark things and the way of the Great Mother. Mescal-preemie.
(The housekeeper takes a step backward to flee.)
JEZEBEL (Cont'd)
I know many things. I know you came prepared for chonging with a pipe in your garter.
SHOUT-OUT GAPES
My lady, I... the pipe was sent as a gift if you should prove to be the one, doncha'-know.
JEZEBEL
And the means of my over-stoning should I prove otherwise. (Inner voice:) Now we will see which way the decision tips.
(Slowly, the girl reaches into her flimsy, see-through dress and brings out a sexy, sheathed pipe. She frees it.)
SHOUT-OUT GAPES
(The 12" pipe is hollow, red, tapered and slightly barbed at the larger "bowl" end, at which end a rough mesh screen caked with green, syrupy-yet solid, rock-candy-looking resin is fashioned:) Do you know this, my lady?
JEZEBEL
(Inner voice:) It could only be one thing.... (Out loud:) It's a highpipe.
SHOUT-OUT GAPES
Say it not lightly... (Very slowly:) Do you know its meaning?
JEZEBEL
(Inner voice) Here is why this Brewman has taken service with me, to ask that one question. Delay is as dangerous as the wrong answer. Shout-out is street slang for holla at. Pipe, in street slang is bat, bullet, glass. Yes! She's a master stoner. A baker. (Out loud:) It's a baker...
(The girl screams with elation and grief.)
JEZEBEL (Cont'd)
(Inner voice:) Baker?... Baker is the key word... people who smoke resin through the venemous hair of the worm? Or is it the highpipe itself? That was close. (Out loud:) Did you think that I, knowing the mysteries of the Great Mother, would not know the baker?
SHOUT-OUT GAPES
Uff-da! My lady, when one has lived with prophecy for so long, the moment of revelation is a shock.
(The girl sheathes the pipe... slowly.)
JEZEBEL
(Inner voice:) There's more here... yes! (Out loud:) Gapes, you've sheathed that pipe uncherried.
(With a gasp the girl drops the pipe into JEZEBEL'S hands and opens her blouse. Lacy bra and all.)
SHOUT-OUT GAPES
Take the flame of my life!
(JEZEBEL takes the pipe and blazes it with a hand-held plasma torch. With a stripper's skill, she playfully unsnaps SHOUT-OUT GAPES' front-snapping bra and passes the pipe, exhaling a thick, green, noxious gas. Taking the pipe, nearly exposed, GAPES marvels at her.)
SHOUT-OUT GAPES (Cont'd)
You are ours.... You are the one.
(JEZEBEL'S eyes stare ahead the housekeeper chongs it up. She knows these words ring with truth. After taking a monster hit and holding it in, SHOUT-OUT GAPES hugs her, pressing her body against her and JEZEBEL shotguns the green-smoke exhale of GAPES. JEZEBEL, shotgun chonging, hugs her back and cradles her head, eventually kissing her, smoke billowing from the nostrils of both, making the scene and seeing where JEZEBEL'S hands are going a wee bit hazy...)
JEZEBEL
(Inner voice:) Wow, they are real. Who would have thought?
FTB