PRELUDE
Wisdom was there. I shared my ambivalence about how to proceed now I had finished reporting the visits (Part 1). At first he/she stood before me as the wise older gentleman, but then her/his appearance started changing back and forth between that and looking young, lively, bursting with energy.)
He/she invited me to hug him.
I did, and we embraced. For a while I was very aware of her/his body. We seemed to merge. I can't describe how safe and complete it felt. We just stood there. I felt that from this position I would be able to handle anything coming my way in my daily life. We didn't talk. It seemed to last a long time. When we let go of each other and sat down, the glow remained.
I asked some questions about how to proceed. Should I continue visiting other people and places here? Somehow, I didn't believe that to be the right thing. But what then?
Suddenly someone appeared. (I will describe this encounter later. The comments of this person fill almost all of the second part of this booklet. What the visitor told me at the first two visits seems an outline for topics he elaborated on later. As also something else was going on during this visit, I report that first.)
I hadn't noticed them right away, but a whole group of people was standing at some distance. They were all the people I knew! My thoughts went in the direction that this might mean a farewell; that they had come to say goodbye. Or was it the opposite? Did they know that I was going to join them for good, meaning I was making the transition from earth to here; would die, in other words?
(It was amazing how fast my mind worked. If this was a farewell and I would not come here anymore and it would be the end of my reporting, I figured I would have time to arrange and edit for printing the two unpublished volumes about my earlier experiences with the spirit realm. But in case the group standing there meant I was in the process of physically dying and was going to join them, I realized I didn't mind giving up my earthly life, despite its many fulfilling and happy aspects.)
What I actually found myself doing, was standing up, addressing the group more or less formally, thanking them for being part of my experience here. I told them that I didn't think I ever did thank them for putting up with me. I could see they listened and, as always, radiated a warm friendliness. They didn't speak and soon their presence 'faded away'.
I AM was also present, as invisible as tangible. I sat down between Wisdom and the visitor and put my hands on theirs. Nothing was said. The moment seemed too powerfully peaceful for words. We, at least I, just let it linger. (This is the way, I thought, I would like to die when my time comes: everything in complete harmony. Or was perhaps my body giving up right this moment?)
One thing was clear to me. Whatever I still may have to go through, it can never take away the power of this perfect calmness; if only by way of remembering it.
The next day, when first I was alone with Wisdom, I asked him about our merging the day before that was so incredibly fulfilling. How does it compare with the desire on earth to feel one with a person in his opinion?
He wanted me to be perfectly clear that she was not going to judge any of my earthly desires or actions. Handling those is my privilege and my freedom. He said that, in general, intimacy or having sex on earth do have aspects of lovemaking and merging as it occurs in the Positive State, as I had discovered myself. The enormous difference is that here the physical and emotional deformities and limitations are absent. There never is an unpleasant aftertaste or having to exclude others. I could say however, she said, that sexuality on earth, while by definition fragmented, not only can have a sense of the beauty he and I experienced yesterday but that it even can include awareness that I AM participates in it, as is always the case here. And what can be more gratifying than that?
Going back to the first day, I still didn't know what to expect or how to proceed. But I needn't worry. The visitor took care of it.