Part 1

VISITS INTO THE REAL REALITY Writing 4

18. CONDITIONING

Wisdom was there, reminding me he would meet with me any time I wanted him to come.

I suggested that today I would scrutinize him again: from feeling the texture of his robe to figuring the color of his eyes. While I did this, I realized I could not get a clear picture of him. The harder I tried, the more elusive it became. I admitted to him that his presence was very real to me, but his features were not. It troubled me, because how can the real reality be less real than the pseudo one I am used to?

His comments made sense. He asked how long I have been living on earth compared with the time I have spent in this positive realm.

"Do you see that after you were born on earth, literally everything was conducive to hook you, as baby, as youngster and as adult to the external world as 'the' place to focus on? So isn't it logical that all the ins and outs of the external world seem normal to you? Your senses don't know better than to pick up those and let your mind process them.

Discovering the existence of the spiritual realm you basically had to do all by yourself. What your parents, mentors or literature told you about it was coming from the outside, with no proof of its being true. When you started to pay serious attention to your 'within', you found a world open-ended, unstructured, rife with confusing images --and with impostors. Fear of unknowns, enjoying the familiar, catering to your ego, anything tried to interfere with finding the truth. Overcoming those obstacles is not easy for anybody.

Three more things about this. You are poorly equipped for observing the spiritual world. You had to develop your own learning methods, like sharpening your honesty, listening to your innermost longings and, the most crucial, checking that you only act out of freedom and not because you think you have to. Finding reality is a purely individual, private and often lonely pursuit.

Number two is that, while your external world is 'everywhere' and even the working of your mind can be traced to brain functions and chemistry, the remnant of true life in you is infinitesimally small. You could say there only is the tiniest possible opening for the truth to enter your awareness.

On top of that, as true reality is such a shocker, your systems resist to being exposed to its pure energy, even if it comes in small increments. It does upset the conditioned ways of dealing with life. As you now see, this world is indeed quite unlike the one you know. And contrary to what most people on earth tend to think, nothing of it is vague, dull or iffy. Your earthly world is."

I asked about other people. When they visit the real world like I do, do they have the same experiences as I have? Like sitting comfortably on this gem-type of rock?

"Maybe," Wisdom said. "The nature of whatever they see and encounter is similar, but as no person is the same, the appearance of it can differ."

(How, for goodness sake, trillions of people will all privately explore this new world after they die is a mystery to me. This time I decided not to bother Wisdom with that question. Actually, the answer may lie in that strange phenomenon that all living creatures feel and act as if the world is draped around their individual interests. So what is new? In whatever way he would answer the question about other people, I know it was not going to alter what I experience.)

I asked him about my desire to feel more alignment with this world in my daily doings so that I can represent it better. Or - scary thought - why am I not more like that Jesus figure who became me?

(I think I am honest in this desire. I don't think I try to feed my ego by becoming really 'good'. I now see so much more clearly what is 'normal' and is reflecting true life. Yet, evidently, that does not stop my being jumped by the pseudo-logic and -realities of the Negative State I still am so very much part of.)

Wisdom did not answer directly.

I was sitting opposite of him. He asked me to look at him. "How do you see me?"

I was very surprised to see him looking much younger than usual!

He said, "Yes, you usually approach me as being the one who knows, who has insights and is wise. So I look old. But what you just did was leveling with yourself by wondering about and correctly evaluating your uncomfortable situation. So now I can look younger, because you are the wise one!"

I did not I agree.

He tried to encourage me, I felt, when he mentioned that we belong to the same human species despite the deformities of my generation and my person.