T E N Writing 11

Delft, 11/02/1996

Although I planned to go to a concert in a few hours, I did not want to miss the opportunity of being with You for the purpose of a possible journey. While waiting in my chair, the issue of projection was again on my mind. I keep being concerned that all this 'journeying', and all the writing I've been doing lately, is expression of some, mainly hidden, desire or need in me. You, as You did before, affirmed that our human ability to project can be used for reaching, touching and actively connecting with, the Real Reality. So using its techniques in a technical sense is helpful and promising. It's actually the only way for me to create a 'working' relationship with Your world. Yet the real issue is, You let me know, to check from where the desire to activate my projective potential comes, and what its motivation and intention is. In other words, what do I want to achieve? If the personal choice to find You comes from an honest seeking of the truth for its own sake, and from the remnants of real love for You in me, then I don't need to be concerned about which mental tools are used to communicate with You and the other realms. You added that from the Positive State's perspective, all earthly humans' efforts to reach out are pathetically inadequate. The only aspect that nevertheless makes it a genuine occurrence is the purity of intention. And that, You stressed, originates on the spiritual level within us. We could say that we have to dare to enter our inner sanctuary. When we do it, this provides not only access to the source of the full truth of life but also to a personal encounter with the I Am. It will let us know we are 'at home' in life.

I asked You why I didn't have this discussion with the man Wisdom. You didn't answer. I wondered if You hesitated to do so. Did my question irritate You? I'm so aware of my clumsiness in spiritual matters.

Suddenly, I was in the house I visited on yesterday's journey. I looked at the walls and columns. They impressed me as very elegant and at the same time so sturdy. You told me that nothing, even on the level of matter, was 'set in stone'. Everything that is brought into existence is done so by spiritual means. It originates in the most internal realm of life. This doesn't mean that just a thought automatically produces a structure. Every aspect is carefully considered and calculated, willed, in other words. The result of this preparation makes any product reliable, functional and appreciated. After its use, nothing is 'thrown out'. Nothing crumbles either. "Like so much does in your cities," You remarked. "Changes are normal and desired; they happen in order to 'update' splendor. Readjustments take place because fresh situations arise. 'The best possible' is the motivation for a continuous process of improving, experimenting, as well as intensely enjoying all the beauty. "So," You concluded with a big smile, "that keeps all that's in the universe busy!"

Again, I realized that it's only in Your presence that I really learn. I must set aside time forvisiting with You if I don't want to get stuck in my own and other people's guesses. Our external life here, comfortable, familiar and normal as it may feel while we're a part of it, is indeed light years removed from the real, true, spirit-inspired and lasting state of affairs.

I notice that some experiences, like this one today, hardly can be called a 'journey'. But I'm not going to worry about it. At this stage, I'm still approaching this as I did the first time. I've no idea where it leads to, how long it will go on or what to expect. I just, consciously and by free will, make myself available. I observe what happens and then write it down.