APPEARANCES Writing 5
In what a world You bring me now! This is beyond my comprehension.
But when I asked, You let me know it shouldn't stop me from reporting.
So I will try to be coherent and clear about the territory I just entered
while I waited to see Your sixth aspect, with the name 'Manifestation'.
I did somehow already know that Your sixth and seventh faces belong
together as a pair, like the others. They'll show us Your external realm,
although I had no inkling at all of how You would now present Yourself,
I guessed it could be from a different angle, would be more personal.
This seems logical, as all in existence relates to life's one totality: You.
I happen to exist in this life, I can't be an outsider or just an observer.
I sit down to visit with You and wait for ideas about how to proceed.
Then, suddenly, I felt this would not be a 'regular' session like before.
It seems my mind got prepared for a situation where I've never been.
I stopped trying to figure what it meant. Yet I definitely felt being lost.
You ask me to recall how, years ago, I came to know Your sixth name.
I do. The beginning of searching spiritual truth I remember very well.
Then, representing Your sixth and seventh name, I did witness two
simultaneously appearing warriors, both sitting high on fiery horses.
It was a long time ago. Those images I practically forgot. Yet because
of those appearances, I gained a clearer insight into the composition
of Your nature. The two were humans representing Your externals,
visibility and power. Where they tread Your Person acts and shows.
Gender-wise, one was masculine, the other a female, looking alike:
a shining armor, proud disposition. They said they were Your image.
I figured that through their image, as by those earlier, You were
being explained to me. Which since You confirmed, over and over.
At the time I saw Your faces as Love, Truth, Proper and Healing, I
learned the warriors stood for You as Manifestation and Energy.
Now I'm invited to see You as Your external totality, I'm at a loss
how I will experience what these two names are going to reveal.
I wait a long time. Then the two warriors I just mentioned appear.
The young man jumps from his horse and is walking toward me.
He greets me, removes his helmet and armor plates. I don't like
any attribute of war. Also, this is distracting me from seeing You.
The man poses as a film star. I almost scream: 'This does not help.
'He's just a plain, average human.' I back off when he comes close.
I don't know what to make of it. You indicate to stay with it. You
want to show me now how You as all-Manifestation involve me.
Then, while I critically watch him, he stares straight at me, says,
'I am you! You are not just the one you know. We also are you!
Of course, this shocks me to no end. It throws me off, I panic:
What? Another me is in existence? (Another you - for you, reader?)
It is later now. I'm still perplexed. So when I say, 'I this or that,
even when I am right, my other self may tell a different story.
I can't really think objectively about a doubling of my person.
I feel that my relating to him/them will be extremely delicate.
I've had some flashes of being 'more'. It may be related to this,
unbeknownst to me. But this is truly totally out of this world.
Do all other people have a 'double'? If 'yes', can we, if we want,
discover our other, eternal self? But what about the me here?
I do look at You for insight. 'He-who-is-me' stands next to You.
I see Your other four faces; they smile, enjoying the surprise!
I'm bewildered. But also deeply in awe. I'm honored that You
give me information that I, the me on earth, completely lack.
After I wrote this, I took a long walk, because I really wanted to talk.
I'm on completely foreign ground, like breaking the barrier of sound.
What do I with the crazy idea that my person here isn't the only me?
It's unsettling, unplanned, much too new; I've not the faintest clue.
Yet for now showing me also this, My admiration boils over for You.
I must now believe all this is true; what the other 'me' already knew.
I hope and trust I can keep seeing You. That may keep away my fear.
Well, all You show me I will report, unless my life here gets cut short.
The shock of yesterday's encounter still reverberates in my mind now.
I draw a blank when I try to guess where my writing will go from here.
From my studies in the past I know about dual personalities, dopple-
gangers and the like. But for this, these qualifications do not fit at all.
What I consciously seek, is just being able to communicate with You.
I know well my personal hang-ups, mental quirks and so so intellect.
All this happens on a level that's accessible, otherwise I never could
write about it. It is very weird, yet not out of control or forced on me.
Perhaps there are more people who have experienced this kind of a
fullness in similar personal ways. Yet I feel very ill-equipped for this!
Today, I sit down and, as usual, the comfortable chair is in front of me
where I normally perceive Your presence Who patiently waits for me.
Instead of Your presence, there stands the person who yesterday told
me he is me; a faint smile is on his face. He stands in a sort of meadow.
I told him I have not the faintest idea how I should or can relate to him,
but also, that my interest goes to meeting and conversing with I AM.
He said he knows that, but that his presence is making a point.
'I'm, as you are, an expression, a life-form, an entity, willed by I AM.
'What is for you impossible to grasp, is I AM's sharing and showing
'His/Her full nature as integral part of Her/His being all life's I AM.
'Love, as you write about now, is an eternal, visible and shared-by-
'all state of joy before Him/Her. It is how and Who I AM is for us all.
'Her/His love is never not there, or alternates between more or less
'as in your earthly love situations. I AM's Self is that He/She 'is' love.'
He bends over, picks a flower and hands it to me. It's a spontaneous
act of wanting to connect and share. I do not feel any other motive.
I meekly say, 'Thank you.' Yet I do feel no particular affinity to this person at all.
He does remain a stranger, laid-back, unassuming and, yes, with nice manners.
He said, 'I am here to show Who I AM is as Manifestation. You and I
'are both covered by that name. We represent Her/His external side.
'I AM does not discriminate in favor of us because we're both human.
Like other life-forms we humans mirror His/Her nature's all-beauty.
'On our inner level, it means we feel beloved, wanted and respected.
'There will be always warmth, inspiration and excitement in our love.
'For showing you Her/His face as Manifestation, I AM asked me to
'show you your whole self. Love knows no separation. We ll share it.'
I let him know that for an earthling like me, all this is very hard to
fathom. He nods, smiles, seems to warm up to this weird occasion.
'You've heard it,' he explains, 'that creating the 'hells' by our
'human species required a monumental amount of energy.
'You wrote the story yourself, of what they endured, turning
'from the all-love center with their self-initiated revolution.
'I AM wanted the issue addressed, what happens if love has
'an alternative and is replaced as all life's source and energy.
'Initially, there was a desire to enrich life with their findings.
'But then they began looking to externals for an alternative.
'It took millions of years - your time - to experiment with an
''unknown'. Their pursuit was not flaky. They were serious.
'It caused pain to emerge, when giving up I AM's closeness.
'Most accepted getting isolated. Some stopped. Others pursued.
'I tell you this, so you know that I, we, are aware of what you are
'exposed to on earth. We are aware of earth's isolation's impact.
'My coming to you can convince you, you're not lost. Much that
occurs, your writing can't cover. Love's complexity is enormous.'
I can't say I warm up to him, although I don't feel negative.
It's foreign to see myself in him. I've no idea how to react.
If I am him, it means that, at least part of me, dwells in an-
other dimension. I've no tool to process this; I feel stupid.
'I'm here,' he goes on, 'to affirm that only in love is oneness.
'It applies also to us as a unit. If 'not-love' enters, I am gone!
'For you, it is normal to be awe-stricken, because you're not
'wired for truth. Know, however, that this may be corrected.
'Any negative idea you keep can make you lose our contact.
'Knowing me, can inspire to stay unconditionally with love.
'I am not I AM. Yet I am so close that I represent Her/Him.
'You can join My position here after your mission on earth.'
Now what do I do? Keep my head in the clouds? Block it out until the next session?
Let my brain do overwork? Read up on disassociated personalities? I think I heard
his warning. My task is to fine-tune my thinking and all other mental activities as
much as I am capable of. Even if at times my behavior may belie it, the opportunity
is there to cleanse myself from all that's not compatible with love, as that's eternal.
My other self sounds assertive when I sit down, waiting for his comments.
Again, he tells me, it is not by accident, but planned that he should appear.
'I do never block you from seeing I AM's sixth face. I represent it. In order
'that I AM can meet with you directly, you may now taste the scope of it.
'Think of what you call a throne: see all that exists as 'draped' around it.
'In this sense, there's a distinction, a difference between us and the I AM.
'But otherwise, I AM's seven appearances spread to literally everywhere.
'The seven candles brightly radiate Reality, showing I AM's all-presence.
'All emanates from that one life force and mirrors the seven-fold source.
'Only because humans initiated a split, parts of life became complicated.
'You live the consequences of it on earth. Yet I AM's closeness prevails.
'Seeing me as you do now, is placing you within the radiance of real life.
'The way you experience yourself on earth does miss life's completeness.
'For one, the mutilation of your person prevents identification with me.'
I keep sensing the gap between him and me. He's from another planet'.
Yet he is here! And I feel strongly this fits all the other things I learned.
I did not in the least expect this to happen. Yet now I am fully involved.
'The difference with the Negative State is their 'pseudo reality'.
'Not by your standards is life unreal. You are fully in and with it.
'Yet, in terms of the full range of life, your Negative Stat is fake.
'Even so, all of earth remains a part of I AM's all-manifestation.
'My appearing teaches you to give up many familiar concepts.
'On your journey I AM is for you, too, the path and the energy.
'Keep visiting; much damage you caused will be taken care of,
'if you want, as that is crucial. I don't nor won't ask to believe
'me. I'm here to show you in a most personal way who you are.
'It's not, we will be one. We're that. But the 'you' is displaced.
'Many of your choices lead to illustrating what true life is not.'
I struggle with a thousand urgent questions about me being him.
So what to do? He grins when I gesture my frustration and says,
'You'll see what will happen.'
I want to put my brains in gear so that they are prepared for what is coming.
I've no guarantee or even expectation that I'll understand what I go through.
My hunch is that throughout the ages, humans everywhere on earth did go
through similar stages. Whatever their images, colors, shapes and words in
communicating, they also will have met You in this so totally personal way.
I can see now how extremely important it was that I faced the darkness of
negative forces and their minions in a personal way. As individual I had to
learn about their power and the tricks they use on humans on planet earth.
Internally, I can neutralize some of their poison, although in my actual acts
their impact is too deeply ingrained in me to bring about dramatic changes.
In other words, I am not looking for excuses and I do accept my imperfect
human nature. Yet I'll try as much as possible to steer to the positive side.
On my internal and spiritual plane, I learned to make conscious choices to
not fear whatever darkness I was attacked with by the negative forces. In
those encounters they were backing off when I had them face You in me.
Now I reap the fruit of my bravery. I cannot change others, but I can clear
the road on which You meet with me. I've now opportunities to manifest
myself as a more positive person and I can utilize this newly uncovered
part of me that's waiting, evidently with great patience, for me to figure
out things like this crazy situation. Well, I do truly start to smell real life!
It is so comfortable to be in Your direct presence.
Your four faces I saw up till now are all here. Yet
You speak with one voice. You say that You do
acknowledge my rising annoying confusion that
now, instead of dealing only with You, suddenly
there is this person close to You, saying he is me.
You state there is no other way for me to grasp
the reality of true life, than experiencing in this
pure personal way the weirdness of my earthly
position. By seeing what I can't grasp - and yet
it happens - I've the choice to be inspired by it
or continue surrendering to negative illusions.
A full insight in the earth situation is polluted.
Ideas are contaminated, deliberately mislead.
It's like groping in a fog. Yet even if confusion
about my 'alter self' being so close to You, is
not decreasing, it sure did bring me trillions
of miles closer to real life's epicenter, I think.
You say I can again use the images from when I first saw Your sixth face.
It was the appearance of a warrior on a horse and a hug army of soldiers
behind him, covered with a protective harness from top-to-toe, holding
up a big glinting sword. My impression was that of a professional fighter.
'And he is,' You say, 'but you associate power, sword and army with the
'caricatures the Negative State's forces have saturated all of earth with.
'My fire galvanizes all. All express it gloriously. For you I emphasize that
'My 'soldiers' solely and excitedly belong to a proud army of solid love.
'You do realize you live in an upside-down world? Violence is rampant,
'power is used to control others. Remember the flower your other self
gave you? It was the most strong love-attack you presently can handle.
'Can you take his gesture as a powerful charge of goodness, or not yet?'
I'm unable to answer this question. My other self stands to the right of You.
I still see him as a stranger. I've no feelings for him I am aware of. You seem
to show that I as him, he as me, can access Your closeness and full intimacy.
Whenever we here desire to be real, we're gladly welcomed in Your circle.
'Yes!', You say, 'it's true. Don't separate My actions and core. This does
'mean, I'm present where living is. From your perspective, there seems
'to be a distance: you are not Me, but are the emanation originating in
'the love I consist of. When seen from My side, all is close, as in all I am.
'Fire stands for perfecting, for light erupting; stands for the spirit of life.
'It's the beat and heat of the wonderful highest-reaching tone of pure
'existing. It's red from, what you can call, My ever hot-blooded passion.
'As earthly volcano's have endless resources, I'm the magma of being.
'If you hadn't seen your other part so close to Me, you would've seen
'this name as the others. They impress you and you're in awe, yet you
'react on the level of thinking and emotions, instead of realizing your
'being is at stake: you are also with Me here. Puzzling as it is, it's true!'
I jump on this: 'What about me sitting here, writing? That is truly me
'right now, on this planet. I do not sense a closeness to my other self.
'He tells me he and I are the same person, but I am down-to-earth,
not 'prone to magic thinking or fanciful dreaming. I miss something?'
'This is just what I hoped would happen', You answer. 'I like you to
'be stirred up, fired up in the core of your person. You're now able to
'see sharper and your mind, if you want, can adjust to what truly is
'full reality. Otherwise, good intentions and all, you stay in the dark.'
This is more fundamental than anything I encountered before.
I am in complete ..... I can't say darkness; that's not how it feels.
I feel lost. I am confronted with what I cannot measure by any
standard available to me. Yet, I plan to continue living by Your
piercing light. I will not slip back now. Spiritually, I get warm!
You say that this element of Reality, space, is a good illustration for me to
see the distinction between You and Your emanations, humans or others,
here and in rest of the universe. 'I'm Space Itself', You say. 'All that'll
'take place anywhere, is within the range of being in life. So what exists,
'with its place, purpose and reason, will always be part of My all-being.
'You now view yourself in your other appearance, the one in My world.
'He can inform you about many things related to the realm of eternity,
'as far as the human species is concerned. No restrictions apply to him
'or sentient entities in the true world. Each 'society', individually and
as a species, is a fullness in itself. In it is nothing limiting as on earth.
'I relate to and dwell in every part of My manifestations; in any spot
'or space-dimension I am there. All treasure it. Only on earth it's not
'considered 'normal', nor enjoyed. It's the corrupted way of thinking
'in tampered-with human brains. Universally, My closeness is never
'a threat or domineering. Join Reality! Keep embracing Me: it heals.
'Please, do know once your mission on earth is over, this will apply
'to everyone, and the desire is expressed to see another dimension,
'that request will be granted. In My world is just no fragmentation.
'My presence creates an ability for knowing other manifestations
'of My being. So all learn and discover; there is travel and change.
'And all is in the open and free. All forms of life are distinct; they
'have their own personality and what's called, identity. Each has
'its position and the joy in 'perfecting the perfection' is ongoing.
'The wish to change to another form, life style or place, comes up
'if it serves the common good. A not-yet experienced situation is
'never an escape from what one has. You'll accept, for now, you
'are here, by My side, while not yet always and automatically as
'visible? If you want it, you can adjust your mind and spirit to it.
'The 'you' here knows My seven-fold face; you begin to learn it.
'The difference is, his being a full-fledged part of a full realness
'and that he is actively My helper. If you want, model after him.
'He and your female self know earth's story. They manifest Me
'differently than you can; yet, as such, the three of you are one.'
This triggered in me a desire to take a good look at my other self.
He looks friendly; he assures me to never force anything on me.
My life on earth is mine to shape. Am I ready for all this or not?
I just don't know how to process this further. Except that I like
to continue reporting. I will not avoid these momentous events.
I'm glad that one of my nagging questions has been answered.
Now, I do grasp the issue of the boundless immensity of space
and its all but elusive purpose. Everything has You as its place.
Everything has You as its center and core from where to think,
connect, feel, move or expand. So, in You, any position gleams.
I realize that what I experience is not special or supernatural.
It's about time we humans on earth reconsider our place and
find our position and purpose. For me, this happens now. I'm
responsible for my life's affairs here on earth. I notice that it
is already happens that my mind is 'breathing ' free and easy.
'I guess you see,' says my other self, 'that on earth you live in
'darkness about the full Reality and you as actor in its system,
'contribute to its confusion. Yet we're not critical of this at all.
'Our person volunteered for the mission to explore and to so
'answer questions to where an ignoring of the I AM will lead.
'Besides that, being 'critical' is different than on earth as for
'us it signals a knowledge that love is prevented to rule and
'instead, falsity is chosen. We know that the AM is bringing
'the human era to a close by immersing Him/Herself in the
''hells' dark regions. As far as we see it, all is in place for it.'
The concept itself isn't difficult to understand. Because You are the
Center, the Origin, the I AM, from Whom all existence receives life
and the option to develop itself; it is clear that all connects 'via' You.
How I relate to other people or things can't really be discovered by
external 'objective' observation, but by taking in account our close
connection with You. It's from Your touch that I, as all, become real.
For us on earth, it is easier said than experienced to the fullest. We
humans have to go by theories and axioms, even when these days
interest grows for unifying principles that underlie life as we live it.
You noticed that in my mind the question keeps coming up how I am
connected with the one who is me in 'heaven', the realm where You
openly communicate with everyone. What ties bind us, practically?
You answer that I can see myself as a projection from my other self.
One, that leads a life by itself. What my male and female selves did
project was born as me, a human in the realm of the isolated earth.
So it occurred that, from my fullness there, I incarnated in my body.
My person here therefore is participating in a world fabricated by
the Negative State that shows if real life can survive without you.
In a way, my birth is part of Your incarnation, demonstrating Your
dedication to what You emanate. So, indeed, Your love nature has
no frontiers. As You know, this clearly seems not the case here.
My 'other self ' warns that words, concepts and theories for this are
misleading. They easily become sidetracking maneuvers so we'll get
away from experiencing the full realness as the one reliable teacher.
'I recognize the 'distance' we face,' he says. 'It's an abyss between
'us in terms of how your inner system must deal with these issues.
'You're just not coordinated enough to oversee the whole picture.
'On the external level, the greatest discrepancy shows. Naturally.
'Your body is tampered with, mutilated, compared with us here.
'You see the enormity that I AM is still manifested through you?
'My person, whom you observe as being human like yourself, is
'actually unlike it. I do lack all amputations and distortions you
'earthlings are subjected to, in order to be part of the 'rebellion'.
'If I came to you in my full human glory, you wouldn't be able to
'connect with me as you do now on your spiritual plane. It will
'be prohibitively overpowering. You cannot handle full Reality.
'My appearance is similar to how you look. I adopt your level.
'But, believe me, you're the one who'll change when rejoining
'the identity of our presence here and get truly all-connected!'
I tell him what's puzzling me. 'I see you now, alone, yet what
'about friends or activities? Do you, or do I, have more family?
'What is, in other words, the scope of your private social life?'
'Happily laughing, uncontrived, He says, 'You like to know
'too much, too soon. We first must get better acquainted so I
'can show you the intricacies of life as the full person you are.'
Then, he addressed the thoughts that did cross my mind.
'I am your masculine self,' he said. 'The feminine part will be
'revealed to you later. She relates to I AM last name, Energy.
'She will be presented as the seventh candle of I AM's Self.
'She relates to I AM's external, represents that appearance.
'Our male/female distinction portrays I AM's completeness
'The distinction isn't a split. Your 'creators' succeeded with
'isolating them. It led to endless battles between the sexes.
'Yet, the duality generates life. It is the model for contacts.
'Seeing her representing Energy gives you a good sense of
'what you yourself stand for. You're meant to be powerful
'and whole, a fresh challenge. It's the joy of being a person.
'I use your language. Our communication now needs that.
'Here, no misunderstandings occur in contacts. They're in
'total openness and clarity: no 'language' problems at all!
'Our speaking or language does't depend on vocal cords.
'We do that right now, straight from mind to mind. Being
'all-connected has no limits. We're at home with anyone.'
It's clear that from our earthly perspective, we can't understand full Reality
unless we accept that all we see evolving is from potentials granted by You.
In this sense, it's symbolic to see my other part so relaxed in Your presence.
I think I will never know my full self, unless I can do that. Yet it's much more
than symbolic. It is the full Reality. So, am I outside of it or am I really in it?
I like it to happen that I'll make good progress, move out of my narrow cage.
By dying one day and being liberated, will I be able to move on more fast?
The structure of Reality and the way it's processed are based on You being
all Love and all Real. All You manifest shows this. All in existence is of Your
eternal nature. It reflects this and mirrors life's glory. Therefore, yes, all is in
the process of progressing. It makes every second of our living worthwhile.
How different is it from our situation. What craziness we hang on to, while
surrounded by full Reality. We are used to bizarre illusions and limitations.
I look at myself, still next to You. I feel for him no affection, nor feel I close.
It's hard to relate to him; except I marvel when hearing him say that he's me.
I truly believe that at one point this will change. Somehow I'll be 'promoted'
when I come down from the high human horse I'm so comfortably glued to.
I will get wings that make me soar. I wished it could happen during my sleep
at night, that I get 'repaired'. I would lay down for that every evening again!
It would be the easiest way to get going. Probably dying is: waking up and
suddenly seeing all in its true light, full formation and welcoming horizon.
Now, I cannot just switch off my old self I am used to, that prevents'flying'.
Yet, I like to pursue this new experience, without understanding it exactly.
So I continue to report about Your faces that define our twelve elements.
Something in me trusts - no, knows - it will be revealed what this baffling
way of experiencing You means. I see You smile.
My other self steps forward and says, 'I'd like to touch you.'
I stretch out my hands. He puts his in mine. They feel cool
and firm. Is this normal? As in a flash he embraces me and
retreats. It's almost too short to register. He smiles; says:
'I love you as I love myself; which of course you are!'
Am I being reclaimed? I sure would not mind it. My life here isn't bad
at all and I consider myself a very blessed person, possessing so much.
But everything on earth is temporary; is in that sense more symbolic
than solid. Even if we do not like to see it that way, we know it's true.
The content of the multiverse the Positive State is, is transparent as
a manifestation of You. It thrives on being free and operates on the
same wavelength. Here, we're stuck, at least for the time being. I'm
stuck, yet I trust more and more that nevertheless, through all this,
my full nature and identity - and all of the future - can be uncovered.
I now want to forgive myself for having been fearful, stagnated and
manipulative; for the lying, too, I did, instead of being totally honest
with myself. I'm glad that I face my demons and evil sides, the many
connections with the Negative State. I am glad I now can invite You
and everyone to see me changing. Perhaps it's triggered by getting
older, when our judging mellows. Will that facilitate accepting fate?
If so, then I for sure welcome my aging. But I do not see it as reason.
I could have found You much earlier if I had dared then to hear Your
voice and to face Your being in me. Old or young, it doesn't matter.
The truth is the truth at whatever time. I regret all he moments I've
wasted; at least now, I can honestly say that I think I'm moving fast.
I realize I am one of Your willed life-forms. Through me, You manifest Yourself.
For my other self it's a most natural situation. Yet for me it seems the opposite.
Integrating this in my psyche is new and unexpected; I'm unprepared. Even to
challenge my true identity because it is so badly polluted, or will I forget that?
Once I am united with my other self, I may be able to look back with their eyes
and accept what I've done or non-achieved and what I will be able to unlearn.
This compass for my journey can, more than before, guide me to an emotional
detachment from all negative involvements and practice only what's positive.
You tell me, life on earth poses a dilemma that can't be resolved as long as I live
in that world. Yet I can keep checking myself for what remains my deep longing.
I look at my other self. He's relaxed and, like You, not willing to push me or give
solutions. It's up to me what to do with My life. Moving on or not, is my choice.
All is progression, You have said. I want to affirm it. It's scary to enter unknown
territory, with nobody to share it, but I will persist in taking baby steps forward.
Now You visit with me today, I'm aware of Your four faces, the features You appeared
with before; distinct, personal, of overwhelming beauty. I'm aware of them while You
address me. You say that, intentionally, my other self is positioned close to You, now
You are Manifestation. You want me to be clear that for me and for all in life, this is a
given. Our existence means, we express Your nature. We can deny this only for so long.
You let me see that, in a way, being 'effect' is redundant. You being all-manifestation as
the totality of Your externals, how could it all be 'just' there? It's so for that's evolving
from Your innermost spirit and internal self. But also in the externals, Your presence is
a mover and shaker. In other words, on all levels in the universe You trigger reactions.
Nothing is not emulating You or is. therefore, not all the time an action and a reaction.
We see it on earth that all moving causes wide shifts. Visibly or unobserved, it moves,
has effects. Any touch transforms what was. We can, of course, project this in You or
call You the first or supreme cause and effect. Setting You up as ultimate Mover, we'll
then rest our case. But the opposite is true. The way we function as people, as atoms
play or body cells multiply, it's all a result of having the freedom to reflect You. Even
in 'hell' it can't be changed; though its invention of forced deaths seems able to stop
movements. It's mocking Your nature. If they could be truly successful, able to halt
anything from effecting, they, indeed, would all over paralyze Your liveliness. But to
their chagrin they see that You, entering death itself on earth - validated by them as
their highest triumph - turned the tables and has them heading towards losing it all.
You ask me to look at my other self, so my thinking won't get away from
my personal situation. 'Think not of Me, while he is here', You say. I wonder
whether during my time on earth, my other self effected my turning out
the way I did. To whom should I address this question; to You or to him?
My dilemma seems to cause amusement. He says, 'You are free to laugh
'with us. Much more than you think, we are existing together. Much
'more than in your wildest dreams attention is given to your longing
'for the truth; despite your feeling as a 'lost sheep'. Not that the other
'sheep are less precious, but acceptance of being lost is the first step
'to coming home and to realizing you are missed. You, The Negative
'State with its poison, are in the same position: outside the positive
'realm. We, here, know it will end. The 'how' of our parts relating can
'not be described so you grasp it. Us being one remains a puzzle for
'you. For us, it uses our patience. You do cause the effects you have
'on others with Your body and mind. The 'others' include us. We do
'love you; we like to hug you! You saw us laughing. Can you do it?
'In our mind is pride, peace and joy for being able to affect others.
'It thrills us and is filled with results. No meanness or self-serving,
'no secondary gain in contact with other people is for you totally
incomprehensible. But not for too long anymore!'
I ponder the particulars. Will he be my model? Do we relate? Is he a friend,
an inner voice or an inspiring spirit? He cuts in with, 'All of that I am already'.
He continues, 'I AM has asked me to show that you are not alone as individual;
'not even at birth and when dying, because as us, you are never not in existence.
'We are you too, how could you stay lost unless you truly desire that destiny. In
'that case, we let go of you. But I'm sure this will not happen. When people ask
'you whether they have to go the same route, tell them that in spite all all their
'layers of deceit, they, too, are capable to find their full identity.'
I hate to say I'm still at a loss what effect all this will have.
Yet, for sure, You didn't let me off the hook! And for that
I am tremendously grateful. I sense You take me serious.
Among the millions of things I question, is what freedom means for my other self.
Does choosing cause him heartaches, does he make decisions 'against' anything?
You listen calmly and let me know that it is extremely difficult for me to picture a
mind-set or an environment with choices exclusively creative, positive and joyful.
For me, choosing means I have to give up on what I did not choose. But with You,
it's never done against anything. All is in good cheer and all options remain open.
'Choices earthly humans make,' You say, 'often qualify as quite distasteful.
'This abuse of freedom is one-time-only. Universally, it's seen as unnatural.
'Besides this, freedom in 'heaven' is for the human race there, as for others
'in My world, an exciting phenomenon. It is as an always blooming flower.
'The choice to be born on earth as part of its negative sphere is not forced
'on anybody. Participation is offered; it only happens on one's cognition.
'The consequences are grave. Entering slavery means pain; all darkness is
'more than scary. Only My guaranteed blessing carries who volunteered.
'Yet even the perpetrators of evil, the human generation before yours that
'turned away from Me, have as option changing. You're instrumental in it.
'I take this very serious,' You add. 'You don't realize that the reason you
'and others go through changes in consciousness is not just for your sake.
'You can feel lost because forces pull and push your mind when making
'choices. Well, whatever you do, the negative forces monitor that closely.
'You stir up an alarm when they see you change, not falling any more for
'their traps or tricks. They don't see your mind, but are anxious to know.
'Your missions figure in the final confrontations with all negative forces.
'Consider it your 'added value'; this, in addition to being already special.'
You now turn to another question I have. It's wondering whether I will see
a distinct sixth face for You. Or am I 'it', so that I've only to look in a mirror?
You ask to listen very carefully. 'Yes,' You say, 'You will see My 'face' as
' Manifestation. All you want, I understand, as nothing of this is secretive.
'However, you never see My sixth face without seeing simultaneously the
'result of that name, namely, you yourself as one of My manifestations.
'I am the I AM of all that is. All happens in, through and because of Me.
'I am never outside of anything occurring. It's not, I here, and you there.
'We are distinct, sure, and completely so. I am life's source and center.
'Nothing else can say that. All life is in Me, showing oneness' liveliness.'
'I asked the one you are here to join Me in speaking to the earthly you.
His just being here can help illustrating this for-you-so-difficult matter.
'As all that occurs in the universe is based on a free choosing whether
'to love and expand with Me or not, it's normal you can feel excluded.
'Yet your contact with Me became quite direct and stable, you agree?
'I never forced Myself on you, I just promised you will see My fullness.
'The human 'tragedy' is that after an initially healthy focus on external
'events and forms, they began ignoring that all those also portray Me.
'They eventually concluded that it must be possible - tried by them -
'to create and set up another source of life as alternative to My world.
'They did it from their free will, and originally meant it as a gift to Me.
'Yet after 'eons' and several human generations, this pursuit did turn
'against Me. It has led to the pseudo-creation of your isolated earth.
'They preserved some free will, so their realm can be chosen by you.
'You know their miscalculation about a possible disposal of Myself.
'Freedom can be suppressed everywhere, yet it is inherent to living.
'You, and all defectors from their ranks, let them realize this fatal
'flaw weakens the world they built, in spite of any effort to erase it.
'I penetrated their 'sanctuary', taking away for ever their security.
'The more they see free-will-actions, the more they attack them.
'In 'heaven' is no fear of them. When you are attacked, the 'you here'
'will radiate strength to you. Yet they won't take away your freedom.'
Naturally, I ask what I could do now to improve, as that I desire.
Short of dying, what bridges the gap between our two worlds?
'Didn't I just say that?' You react. 'It's up to you how much you will
'choose to behave as one of My severely challenged manifestations.'
In this visit, You indicate that in this element of
life, Joy, You'd like to show Me Your sixth face.
But first You want to address some other issue.
We here recognize joy in countless ways as a strong relief.
I know poets can beautifully describe the joy of sunshine,
waves or flowers or basically all forms of nature around.
Other art forms trigger in their way happy feelings. They
touch us where our sense of goodness and joy does wait.
All humans are capable of smiling; can radiate gladness
and entice others to join the laughter. Most of us know,
treasure and celebrate happiness. In all circumstances.
'Why is that so?' You ask. 'Isn't it because joy can't be eliminated from life?
'It will show, to the regret and anger of your 'makers'. Those smartly cover
'this universal treasure. They let pleasure bloom but hook it up to external
'events and obscure its source. By so re-routing joy in you, you take it that
'happiness is caused by things or people, is unrelated to Me. It is a clever
'deception. Fact is, in true joy My nature surfaces, on earth, too. Laughter
'is all-out wholesome. It's Me, sparkling silver; it will never lose its luster.
'Everything manifests Me; all that is has features of lightness, humor or
'pleasure. In life's structure, joy brings out the best. Right now, you see My
'sixth face. Not just your other self's, but your happy smile shows My joy
'and My light! Yes, as Manifestation, I am the twinkle in the eyes of all in
'existence. All life arises from happiness. To see My face, look in a mirror.
'As Truth, I am laughter and as Love I am sparkling.
'Smiles, joking and fun reflect the joy of all that is.
'You know you see Me when you feel like grinning.
'This seems not a concise image to hold on to; yet
'when My presence has you feel light and relaxed,
'then you experience Me as all in the 'heaven' do.
'Those humans who deserted Me did only cause
'gloom. The Negative State breathes heaviness.
'It shows that outside of Me no lasting joy lives.
'Your two selves here, as all presences in life, do
'never hesitate to join in whatever celebration.
'Nothing is fresher than mirroring My pleasure.
'I repeat it for you that My sixth face activates
'your happy side. Even when in pain or moody,
'do find the chuckle inside you. That's Me there.'
I ask another question, pertaining to 'him'.
How does he feel seeing me operating in
negative ways; that's no laughing matter.
'I like to answer,' he said. 'Our separation is
'by choice, for a certain 'time' and a specific
'purpose. I am aware of your non-love spots.
'Yet forgiveness stands, as promised to you.
'You'll be cleansed, resurrected to 'normal'.
'I am rich in being you. In I AM, we are one.'
I thank him for this. He looks peaceful and I do believe him, even if
I still do not know what it practically means, outside our meetings.
'Now you've seen, sense and felt Me as all-manifestation, also that externally
'I am as a candle lightning up existence, you are in a perfect position to grasp
'life's eleventh component 'all is different'. Let me use you as a good example.
'You saw your other self here next to Me. Well, when I show others My sixth
'face, they do not see you, or 'you here', but their special individual life-form.
'I speak to you in a language you're comfortable with. So I do with everyone.
'Everything is always at home with Me, as I'm on their level and within their
'framework, as much as I am the ALL. So, differentness does reflect My all-
'presence, outside Whom nothing exists, inside Whom nothing is the same,
'repeated or duplicated. All emanations together approximate My fullness.
'I want to take this one step further. You remember how you saw yourself
'here?' (I do. I clearly remember him as the polite, harnessed warrior
on his horse with a whole army behind him.) 'That, you should recall.
'He, as you, is never alone. As on earth, everyone is distinct, is on all sides
'surrounded by other entities that have their unique niche in existence.
'You saw him and her as almost identical, likewise spirited and dressed.
'With those behind them, they formed a unit, a family, a distinct group.
'They clearly spearheaded their army. But this didn't mean they're the
'highest among their ranks. Differentness means, they all have certain,
'exciting functions. 'Heaven' lacks your complicated systems of power.
'The only 'hierarchy', if you use that word, is in the density or closeness
'to Me. It doesn't create the least distance or tension between entities.
'All want the same. It is wise to digest this, as you did complain about
'your urge to compare yourself with others who are 'better' equipped.
'You see the falsity of that evaluation? Actually, each entity is a leader
'in its group of similarly positioned and committed friends and family.
'The whole human species was so, before the dramatic split occurred.
'The Negative State tried, rather in vain, to downplay this component
'by infusing in their products a need to be accepted, to belong, be as
'others and conform to common standards. Yet, in the universe all do
'stay free and delight in being able to offer and add their specialness
'to the overall joyous effect of making love with Me and with others.'
I know it is true that when I meet with You, my happiness increases.
Thinking about those around me concerns me less, when I see them
also walking the road towards You. I do have opinions about issues
I consider to be negative or wrong, but try to respond to slavery or
evil around wisely and with love; not with any anger or accusation.
All have a distinct spot in existence; including the road our human
ancestors took. How awesome that You allowed the rise of denial
and corruption of Your perfection. But this abomination is ending.
Its freed-up energy can now mirror You clearer and multiply the
songs that praise the restoration of Your ever-fascinating nature.
It was a difficult conversation I had with You, in the presence of my other self, about the
harmony in Your being always a Manifestation as one of Your faces, spirits and candles.
You helped me to sort out my worries and confused feelings. When with You, all is right.
Your graciousness stirs me noticeably and at those moments I dwell on a 'higher' plane.
Then, I come down to earth, to concerns about health or other practicalities. I wonder
how these two spheres relate. Practically, they seem so separate, but are they? Will a
closeness to You bring out the best in me and activate spontaneous healing? You see
My frustration, and that You have been adding to it with introducing my other selves.
'You operate on three levels; all do, being of My nature. Your external part, your body,
'chemistry and psycho-somatic functions will eventually be replaced. Your illness and
'what's not harmonious in you, as a result of manipulations by the 'makers' of earthly
'humans, is temporary. It portrays the Negative State's failure to create a 'fine' reality.'
'Your happy, healthy moments transcend earth's fragile status and darkness. They're
'a foretaste of life as it truly is and will be. It amounts to touching Me. Your thoughts,
'emotions, intuition and instincts, all your mental faculties can be taught to be tools
'for a harmonious course. It will help to carry your burdens while you're still isolated.
'Being introduced to yourself here is so new that you are at a loss how to integrate it
'in daily living. Yet, let its realness sink in. Accept it. Don't try figuring it out. Hearing
'what I tell you leads to more Reality being uncovered. You now know of him. What
'for you is a nasty split situation, does in fact herald a wholeness and completeness.
'I know this doesn't answer your questions. Full harmony is absent on your physical
'and mental levels. Only occasionally, hints or flashes of Reality occur. People think
'seeing Me is impossible. Yet you searched for it and found it! You see Me. All can, as.
'enlightenment can take place in anyoneand darkness can be detected everywhere.
Friendly, You say, 'Don't ignore externals, your health, all social contacts and daily
'tasks. The harmony in My manifesting Myself is a model to follow. You play a role
'beyond what you are conscious of. If you practice what you learned, harmony will
'show up. You can be an agent of beauty and justice. It has you glow despite what.
At this point, my other self speaks. He says that being separated may seem strange, but having
met his person is a promise and a guarantee for my individual completeness. He says that when
I die, I won't automatically merge into him. I will, however, learn fast to see things with his and
our feminine side's eyes. Everything will then fall in place and we will celebrate again being one.
'I am grateful, satisfied, proud and honored,' he said, 'that your mission did materialize.
'Your bothersome external part will be replaced. As one entity we will show off.' When I
ask whether this is the same for all humans on earth, I notice in him, and in You, hesitation
to respond. It immediately raises suspicion in me about the realness of all this. As so often.
But then, something in my head says my question is wrong. I asked it as an observer, as if I
am not in Your direct presence. Your being with me matters, not what happens to others.
It's another new lesson for Me to learn that I can trust You implicitly and should focus on
for my space and place relevant issues. To be harmony myself is where my energy can go.
I may over and over fail in this, yet I do wish to align with You. As long as I'm close to You,
I will hear that I am all right. It's up to me to focus on the golden signs of the true Reality.
Speculating about the destiny of others isn't my business. I can invest in my own honest
efforts. You care for all, but that doesn't bring me home. I have to follow Your humming.
At the end of Your showing Your sixth face, I'm still in shock of it being so personal: I am
a manifestation of You and I have another existence! It sure makes our living incredible'.