Part 1



The wall and door where there the moment I was prepared to continue where I left off yesterday. I paid attention to the door. It was made of solid wood, with some stylish markings. It opened easily when I pushed. The bright light engulfed me but it was less dense than yesterday. I was less tense and more confident that through this kind of experience I really would be able to observe the goings-on in the Positive State. In spite of my intellectual doubts, I deep down 'knew' that world does exist.

I noticed that I was in an enormous dome-type of space, spreading to the horizon in front of me. The skies were lit by bright yellow and red stripes. Otherwise, I saw nothing discernible. I wondered about it.

The Presence suggested I do as yesterday, just observe what my senses register.

"When you look to the right, what do you see?" I looked in that direction. At quite a distance, I recognized the familiar tall figure of Wisdom. With him was a mass of entities, people I guess, dressed in white garments, moving around. Closest to me, although still far away, was a group of definitely human beings.

"And behind you?" She/He asked.

I turned around, expecting to see the wall and door. Instead, I looked into the smiling faces of my male and female eternal, parallel, dual, or whatever it is called, alter egos; about a hundred feet away. Like when I first became aware of them years ago, they were standing next to their horses, holding on to them. Behind them, lined up like troops as far as I could see, were hundreds of other people on horseback. The two looked smaller than I am. They very visibly radiated a self-reliant happiness and excitement.

(Years ago, when I reviewed my beliefs about what most people in my world call 'God', in terms of finding out whether direct communication with that force or presence is possible - in case there is one - many things happened; mainly on my spiritual level. Most of this exploration I recorded and put on paper. I did not analyze or explain my experiences. I will not do that here either. I just mention that once I was confronted with a sort of parallel existence of my person on 'another' level. It still presents an extremely puzzling situation for me. I don't know what to do with this knowledge, so I don't do anything with it. This is even more true for what I will report now, that I saw my 'offspring' here. I must say, however, that there are no negative connotations whatsoever attached to this.)

"Why don't you look up?" I was asked.

I did, but could not make out anything there. I said so.

"Do you think you could go there?"

I thought about it and responded that I think I could. I guessed that, like yesterday, the ground, or whatever it was I stood on, would help me with it.

Then came the suggestion to look to the left. For a moment, this threw me for a loop. (I had been taught that when guided imagery is used professionally in therapy, the left was the direction from where negative things appeared.)

I half-expected to see unpleasant or scary shapes, watching eyes or something menacing. But that fear instantly disappeared when I noticed a mass of figures that looked like enthusiastically waving and dancing young people. The one who was leading them addressed me and, clearly enjoying the surprise he was going to spring on me, announced that he did not expect me to recognize him, but that he was the one 'born from' me during a visit several years ago in this realm. (At that time, as a complete surprise, I was invited to journey to another world. There were about fifteen of those (Writing 11, Journeys). On one of them I 'merged' with a person, blacked it out and when I came to, I was presented with a newborn child. It was not a baby and looked about six years old.)

I immediately protested. I considered what then I saw and experienced as not real, concrete. It caused earthly sensations but the whole setting was like a dream.

The young man seemed to understand my hesitation but stressed that it was really him and that he was fully aware that he originated from a love situation in which one partner, me, was only partially involved. He indicated that it was a challenge for him to capitalize on his quite special 'birth'.

I asked for his name and he said, 'Lucifer', which turned me off to no end. (I seriously considered to not report this. The literal meaning of the name, 'bearer or bringer of light', is far overshadowed by the use of it in religion and literature for a 'fallen' top angel.)

The Presence reacted to my negative thought by saying that seeing the young man in person showed that lovemaking and bringing about new life was not dependent on typical earthly prerequisites like sperm, genitals, intercourse or fertility.

Then came, "And what do you see when you look down?"

I saw I had bare feet. The clothes I was wearing were of a rather thick fabric, less transparent than yesterday's, although again feather-light.

"What do you see in front of you?"

The space in front of me looked like a giant stage on which bright lights were blinking. The colors interacted, changed from yellow to red, like during a beautiful sunset. The scenery was far away and I did not see anything between me and there.

"Just accept it", He/She said. "Let it be. It indicates the openness in all that exists, particularly in what you call future, horizon, space, cosmos, eternity and the like, all with their limitlessness."

I asked, "What do I do now?"

"Go slow! Listen!"

From the multitude of people on the right a sound rose up. I listened in utter fascination. It had no particular melody and was very nuanced and colorful. It was not loud yet very strong; it seemed to penetrate all space, including me.

"Do you realize that the singers do not use their vocal cords? They radiate the sound. The sound 'is' them. They are the sound. Singing is for them one grand expression of joy and fulfillment. Mind you, it is not for you that they make music. It is primarily for Me. They marvel at seeing Me directly involved in restoring for your person the universal harmony."

"Now, what sound do you hear behind you?"

I listened and heard a sound that I cannot describe. To me, it was not at all beautiful like the voices. It hit me as a clicking of metal parts, sharp, with deep resonances. I could not see at all how it was produced.

"And what if you turn to the left?"

I did turn and although the almost cacophonous noise from behind me seemed to carry over into the space to my left, the sound waves now coming towards me were overwhelmingly agreeable, strong, fulfilling. But, again, I could not place it in any category of music I know nor could I figure out if instruments were used.

I mentioned that I would love to be able to join this making music, even if I didn't comprehend it. I knew that if I tried to use my vocal cords now, what would come out would sound horrible.

"Why don't you let it come from within and just join in anyway?" She/He said.

And somehow that happened! I don't know how I managed to get a sound out, but for a while my whole body seemed to join the jubilation this music was.

Then the question came to pay attention to what I smelled. I tried, but did not pick up any fragrance. What I did notice, though, was freshness in the air, like after a thunderstorm. It smelled pure.

"And what about your breathing?" I was asked.

It came as a shock when I realized that I did not breathe! Yet the air seemed to be not just in my lungs but everywhere in my body, as if it were feeding every part of me with energy that made all functioning effortless.

"Yes," He/She said, "what you call 'air' is Me, is My spirit, is My presence, is life itself. Your lungs do not need to pump and your heart never has to do overtime. You live Me!"

She/He then said, "Why don't you talk to Wisdom? He is Me in a form you are acquainted with."

Wisdom had already stepped away from the crowd he had been part of, came over to me and greeted me warmly. He is taller than I am. He was dressed in a wide white robe.

"Let me hug you," he said. He put his arm around me and asked how I felt.

It is hard to find words to express what I felt. There was a sense of energy and warmth, of erotic vibes, of losing boundaries and merging; as if I became him and he me.

He disengaged and asked me to put my arm around his shoulder. We both were sitting now.

"What do you feel?" he asked again.

To me, it felt as if my whole soul was in my arm that touched him. It was a 'total' experience, as if nothing of me wanted to feel anything else ever again.

He said, "From moments like these new life is created. You should know that."

I thought he referred to my earlier experience of having somehow 'produced' offspring. But he meant it more in general, he said. This moment of fullness was setting the tone for all I was looking for in my desire to connect with the real reality.

"This is what we call 'time' here," he added. "It is the mark of love occurring in any move anywhere. Remember this. Later you will see it in more detail."

He then asked me to put my right hand on the rock on which we were sitting.

I saw that, again, it looked like crystal, but more greenish than yesterday.

"Is it cold?"



"No, it has the same temperature as my hand. It feels good."

"Are you willing to consider that this rock loves the touch of your hand and that it wants to give you the most precious thing it possesses, its love?"

I had the sensation that, indeed, the rock 'held' my hand and 'wanted' to accommodate my body.

"Would you like to go anywhere?" he asked.

This was a difficult question. I would love to take a closer look at the multitudes to my left, right and behind me that were still there. I sensed I was free to go in any direction I wanted and that he had no 'agenda' for me.

I chose to go forward, into that strange empty 'void'. The yellows and reds were more subdued now. I stood up and moved forward. Nothing became visible.

"Look at the ground," Wisdom suggested.

I did look down but saw nothing that I would call 'ground'. No soil or rocks. No color or substance. Yet my feet felt as if they firmly interacted with something that held up my body comfortably.

Wisdom started to talk about how 'things' are made and are alive. He explained that all touching and togetherness is a two-way street. Being available as material gives as much pleasure to 'matter' in its space as using and shaping gives to the one who does the using, on his or her level.

I ventured, "Being used and using both validate being in existence."

"Splendid!" Wisdom laughed. Was he surprised? He probably knows that I am not one for making smart remarks.

"Would you like to make something?"

I heard him, but for a while drew a blank. I am not a creative person. I can re-shape or embellish something that is already there, but I am not an artist who has original ideas and gives them form. I told Wisdom that many of my friends are artistic and that I wonder why.

"Yes, why?" he asked.

I said that it for sure was not because I could contribute anything artistically.

"Well, they must feel respected by you," he commented.

I became really uncomfortable with this discussion, as it was about me, but Wisdom did not seem to let me off the hook. He asked, "What would you do if, say, the rock you just sat upon, or what you now stand upon, would let you know with human words that it wants to make you happy?"

I said that, probably, I would feel flattered and that I hoped I could give them a good time in return.

"Now, there you have it," Wisdom said. "When you are going to see during your visits here what people do and how they spend their 'time', you will realize that every move or contact is always a matter of giving form to a love they have inside for everything around. This is so for the tiniest and for the most complicated unit; for you, too. In everything, the focus is not on expectation or performance but on how together they can make joy and beauty increase."

I felt like bending over to scoop up some of what must be soil and discover how we can relate. But I decided against it as, again, I wanted to get away from personal things and do more 'objective' observing in this strange world. I still consider that to be the main purpose of my being here.

My walk was almost over.

Wisdom said, "To change the subject, do you realize that you can freely access this world whenever you want? The reason is that all of reality is, in principle, present in everything and, therefore, is within reach for everybody and anything. However, you are one of the few people on earth who choose to pursue finding out about this personally."

I ignored these remarks. The implications seem too gigantic.

My mind went to the crowds I had seen. I asked what they are going to do now, after I leave the scene.

Wisdom laughed, "You think they interrupted their 'normal' work just to see you? No, my friend. For one, interrupting in your sense does not happen here. It has a slightly negative slant, doesn't it? No, all these crowds of humans use your visit to celebrate the progress in the restoration of the universal oneness. You, being a recipient of information about that while still living on earth are an important factor in it. They want you to see them. The 'young' group feels connected with you as a co-player in advancing the new cycle of being. Your dual alter ego and their societies are thrilled to have you 'back', even if it is temporary and you are still separated on almost all levels. The ones in white you saw with me are elated to be able to express in sounds their praise for I AM who is so intimately involved in the resurrection to normalcy of what seems lost.

We all here belong to the human species. So not your person as such was the focus of their gathering. Celebrated is that through the words you write down, the splendor of I AM extends into the isolated areas of the Negative State and expands there. It makes you a token of what I AM is all about. Your presence gives us humans here an opportunity to mark a new phase in the development of our species' endeavor. You couldn't pick it up, but all the sounds you heard were actually music expressing awe for the enormity that I AM still fully honors the unique pursuit of our human race."

I wondered about the personal treatment I am receiving. Will each individual person get this kind of attention? It seems impossible. Thoughts like that make me want to give up on all this. It is too 'far out'. But there was no time any more to share.