T W E L V E Writing 11

Delft. 11/05/1996

I had a question on my mind about the way I relate to people. Especially in regard to doing this writing and gaining so much insight while I'm only minimally involved in imparting with any of it. With friends, family and in my work I act and socialize like before. It vaguely concerns me that I see no 'market' on the horizon for sharing the great things I experience.

I felt relaxed, though. No images came. So, in a free-floating way I let thoughts come. I realized that the part in me that has been structured and conditioned to do so will use any excuse, opportunity, rationalization and what have you, to keep me away from getting closer to You. I'm so relieved and grateful that I know what to do in case the negative presences in me act up. I learned that telling them to back off is effective.

I saw before me a wide plain. Was it ice or sand? Looking down, I noticed it was sand. I started walking. I passed some dry bushes and some heaps of rusting steel. At one point, I noticed that I wasn't walking anymore but that I was flying, horizontally, slowly, comfortably. By stretching out my arms I could steer myself. I stayed about six feet above the ground. I crossed the plane. At the end of it were low hills. Crossing those, I saw that on the other side, higher up, were meadows and green mountain areas as I saw in Ecuador and Peru. Further down were ice-capped mountain ranges. I kept flying in their direction and eventually I flew over them. I went through clouds and light fog. Coming out of that, a huge beach spread out in front of me, ending in the water of what looked like an ocean.

While I was flying, I had tried to figure out where my energy to do so came from. I observed that I didn't have to put out any effort. I just moved very comfortably. I landed in the water where it was about half a foot deep. At first I didn't see anything but water. But then, gradually, everything around me began to take shape. It looked as a city of glass. I saw towers, roads, villas. Many people were strolling around. I remembered my thought a while ago about how I fit in with other people, especially in regard of what I have to offer. Did I feel comfortable here? Yes, I did. But at the same time, I clearly was an outsider. A friendly looking man came up to me and offered to bring me to a place where I could learn about myself. I wondered about my wet feet and told him so. He said to look at my feet. I did, and saw that they were like glass. Where they touched the crystal floor the sensation was different than when walking on earth, but not unpleasant at all. When we passed an entrance with shining pillars of clear glass on each side, I touched one of them. My companion remarked that their color could change according to the use they served. They could become opaque, for instance, if need for privacy would arise.

He brought me to a sort of hall with many people, men and women. They were clothed in robe-like dresses of very light, almost transparent material. I didn't take in any details. Several persons chatted with us. They said to me, "We know you just came from earth." But they didn't ask me questions about it, and I didn't ask anything either. With some of them we got involved in making love. It happened by a merging that is very different from just physically connecting. While engaging in it, our space, including our bodies and minds, became one for a moment. It felt as a prolonged ride on the wave of a climax, immensely fulfilling.

I told my companion about the questions on my mind. He responded with, "Come, I'll bring you to your friend Wisdom, the one you saw before." We went outside, and there he was. I had the impression that he just materialized. My companion sort of retreated to the background. I reminded Wisdom that as far as I understood it, he would teach me and answer questions relating to my still being on earth. He did talk, but it sounded all very vague and I couldn't keep my mind on it. I told him that what I heard him say sounded the way 'new age' people on earth talk or write. He laughed and said, "First of all, don't forget that you come from problems, from crises, from complications. Any part of you, as such, has that nature. For us here, that's not so. Here, the Real Reality is. The answers to your questions therefore, in order to have them make sense to you, I have to make them fit into your frame of reference. I'm not limited in my understanding as you are. That's one reason why I can easily talk over your head. Please, keep reminding yourself that my answers come from the truth. And full truth is lost in your world and in your head. Much, therefore, of what you consider to be not concrete and helpful comes across that way because your very situation is a lie: your brain functions are meant to confuse and to keep you away from the real facts. It's the way you are fabricated."

It was perfectly clear to me what he meant. I can't say it was helpful. I remain this earthly human being whether I like it or not. "Now," he continued, "secondly, where you come in as an active participant is there, where you willingly let go of your familiar boundaries; when you take your observations here seriously and when you let the past be the past; which, by the way, is the essence of what you call 'forgiving'. So don't worry about not understanding. Insight happens when with trust you rely on what you see here, on what you hear from me and others, and above all on what you experience when meeting with I Am personally. These 'activities' will help you to get transformed in your thinking and attitudes as much as is possible while in your earthly body. Every time you make this choice, it puts you firmly in the right direction."

At this point, I asked him for more information in regard to these Writings. Basically, I wanted to know what good it does, or will do. He responded with saying that it was the third thing he wanted to mention. "You're only responsible for what you do. Don't aim at having effect, or seeing results. Just be a piece of that truth and of that love while you're engaged in it!" I asked, "Isn't there more to this?" He laughed, "Much, much, more!" I said, "For now, can you tell me one more thing?" He did. "Remember that you're unique. Don't compare yourself with anybody else, let alone copy someone. Don't bend in anybody's direction. That way, you reflect the Most High, by daring to be the special person you are. Of course, that rule applies to everything and everybody."

He said it all in such a friendly way. I asked if making love to or with him would be appropriate, in view of the fact that he was my teacher. He spread out his arms for me and I embraced him. Again, there was a timeless moment in which I experienced something as a complete, total orgasm in my whole body and in all of my mind. Afterwards, without me having any of the negative 'after' feelings that accompany human lovemaking, he explained that I couldn't yet grasp the actual coupling we did since I'm only wired to be aware of the workings of the mutilate human sex organs and behaviors. He added that, at least, I now have some sense of what the open-ended scope of making love is.

He offered to walk with me to see me off. I was in the water again. Almost automatically I started flying again. It felt completely natural. However, after only a few feet, I flew through some kind of dimension barrier and left the other world behind.