Part 1


VISITS INTO THE REAL REALITY Writing 4

11. GENDER/GENERATION

(I am getting used to being able to at will enter this 'altered state' on the spiritual plane. Actually, I realize this state is the normal and universal one: for us humans, that is.)

Wisdom was there. He invited me to walk with him to where the music came from yesterday. Again, I heard sounds, but they were quite different. Not easy-flowing; more staccato, abrupt. I wondered whether the musicians were trying out new combinations. When we walked in their direction, Wisdom put her/his arm around me. It felt very comfortable.

I asked him how come I see and experience him as a man while he is both man and woman. It seemed as if she had been waiting for this question.

He said, "For one, your personal dominant gender is masculine, so you are most familiar with that gender, how it operates, feels and socially positions itself."

I could have protested for several reasons; one being that with my type of work I am quite familiar with the world and psyche of women. But I let it go. She was right anyway.

He asked me to check if I had sensed his feminine side coming through. I answered that whatever that side is supposed to be, he/she was a complete person in my book. Yes, he could be a woman as far as I was concerned. It would make no difference to me, I think.

"Thirdly," he said, "you know me as Wisdom. I am. That name represents the masculine side of I AM. 'Love' is His/Her other side, the feminine one. I could also represent and look that part for you. But it has a specific reason that you see my male aspect as prominent. You 'need' it most right now as part of your learning process to have the wisdom aspect close by while you go through these, for you, so strange events. It relates to your strongest side."

Here, I did protest because I do not agree.

(Over the years, I have 'complained' to myself and also to I AM about treating facts, the truth, too lightly. I think it has come far too easy for me to shape my thinking and speaking according to the effect I want it to have. Truth comes second. Not that I blatantly lied, but I tended to consciously twist the truth to my advantage without too many scruples.

When later in life my main concern became the communication with I AM, this bothered me a lot. I saw how conveniently I had used non- and half-truths to reason my way out of unpleasant situations. I wanted to eliminate this ingrained habit and become more frank and honest, especially with myself and not be so afraid anymore to deal with the truth openly. I made progress, I hope.

Yet, to my surprise, every time I brought this up with I AM, I got as reaction that not so much 'truth' or wisdom, my masculine side, was my problem or weakness, but love was; I missed out on the multi-versity of love, its depth and unconditional nature. As I just couldn't see it that way, I always wondered if it is so. I still do! So, now, it has me wondering why I was not met at the beginning of my spiritual explorations by Wisdom's other side, as in that area I am supposedly 'weakest'.)

Anyway, I understood from what Wisdom said that I best relate to his/her typical masculine side because it makes it easier for me to grasp the newness of all this. Having her love side with its creativity and liveliness dominate, our contact could confuse me even more.

He nodded and added that I should never divide the two sides as they were completely, happily and effectively integrated in his/her what we would call androgynous person.

When we arrived where the musicians were, I could clearly distinguish them as individuals. They were not playing anymore but walked around and talked to each other. We were greeted warmly by a petite lady who seemed to know Wisdom personally. She was not pretty in our earthly sense but had a very expressive face and an agile body. She walked on his other side.

Earlier, I had once mentioned to Wisdom that I wouldn't mind meeting people of the other human generations. He now told me that this lady was of the second generation. If I was curious about it, she could tell me what that meant.

I first I asked him if there were physical distinctions between the generations. She didn't look any different than the other musicians. Of course I stood out, and somehow Wisdom, too, as he had something in his appearance that seemed to put him 'above' the rest.

He told me that there was not much difference between the generations but that I should not forget that the outer, physical appearance was integrally linked to the internal status and to the momentary task they were involved in. In other words, there was no fixed model or standard for the human 'look'.

The most dramatic distinction in appearance, he said, was within the fifth generation: between the returned members of the fifth generation (now occupied with documenting and teaching the facts of their involvement in the Negative State) and those of that generation still engaged in pushing that state to its ultimate negative potential. The difference was caused by their spirit, not by their generation as such.

The lady said, "Our second generation, in general, is busy with the running of the human society. We operate on the managerial level, you could say. We see to it that life flows smoothly. Here, for instance, we coach those who want to join this music-making society. We discuss with them how to fit in and the consequences of their choice."

Wisdom took over. "The fourth generation, you could say, has a scientific bent. It includes analyzing all that has to do with the Negative State. They are in a sort of in between position. They can evaluate the mutually exclusive directions in this cycle of 'time' from an insider perspective. They operated from closeness to I AM Who desired to have the impossible explored. But in the process of doing that, they paved the way for the violation of I AM's nature and the emergence of the, to you familiar, evil of not-love. They came close to being contaminated by that falsity themselves."

He continued, "The third generation is involved in contacts with the other realms of the universe. They are experts in what you would call space travel, inter planetary and multi-dimensional communication. Again, keep in mind that depending on their focus, activity, interest, contribution, etc., any person can change appearance. It makes it easy to recognize immediately what the other is 'up to'. Yet that is of no importance whatsoever in terms of feeling well-connected and respected."

Then he added, "By the way, did anybody tell you that you originate in the second generation? It is the reason you see your 'alter egos' at the head of what looks like troops. They clearly seem to be leaders, don't you think? Yet be aware that there is no hierarchy in terms of importance, contribution or performance. Because of I AM within us and our being before and with Him/Her, we all are equally important, special and in charge."

It fell on deaf ears. I decided to deal later with this information about my origin. It was too heavy for now. I returned to a safer subject.

"Is everyone who wants to join the music world accepted?"

"Oh yes," he said, "but compared with the 'regulars', the newcomers may sound somewhat primitive."

"Don't say that," the lady interrupted. All efforts fit in. We don't have to polish them. They find their place by themselves. Positive intentions always come through as fresh and beautiful. Any sound is music in the making."

She turned to me, with a twinkle in her eye. "You were nicely growling!"

"You heard me?" I said, alarmed.

"Oh, yes. You came across beautifully."

I argued with her. "Yes, I did join the singing. Or rather, I made sounds. But I kept my mouth shut and just thought the sounds. Wisdom told me to do it that way. The sounds came out by themselves, spontaneously. I only sort of guided the flow."

"Precisely," she said. "They bypassed your earthly features, your lungs and vocal cords. Look at what you are doing now. You still think you use them, don't you? But you don't. Those would be in the way. We heard you happily responding to your desire to join us. It was all improvisation from your side, yet your wish to participate provided you with a perfect tone."

I asked whether they were just practicing or if it was a performance.

She said there really is no difference between the two. All the time they try out new combinations and modulations and when they find an 'ultimate' expression, they move on to integrate it with old or still newer elements. In that sense, they never repeat anything and their entire music making is performing their way of being alive. This does not exclude singing at special occasions that challenge them to out-perform themselves. "Very stimulating," she said, "and great fun."

I then asked what she did after a performance or rehearsal.

"Well, we socialize," she said, "we eat, do chores, merge with someone special, we have a good time. You want to see?"

She guided us through the crowd to an open place at the back of the group. A lush array of fruit was displayed. Well, calling it fruit was by association. None of it I recognized as such but the assortment and display gave the impression it was fruit.

I asked about her need for food and if she ever got hungry and "What about ripping off fruit, or whatever it is, from trees or bushes?"

She shook her head. "Wrong, wrong and wrong. We are not hungry in your sense. We want to connect with the life-form food is, as much as it does with us. We do not chew, swallow, spit out some, process some and eliminate the rest. What we eat merges with our inner energy system. It is happily in existence for just that purpose. We do not have to eat; it is like making love: you don't have to do it but it is so wonderfully invigorating and pleasurable. We eat, we climax together. As simple as that. You know what I am talking about. Think of the times you drank liquids here. And forget about the earthly way of picking vegetables. The place where the food 'ripens' is as a school to them. Wisdom and love are exchanged between the 'soil' and what grows on it."

"And after a meal," I suggested, "you take a nap!"

"No," she laughed, "or rather, yes! We can, what you would call, retreat within ourselves or play our personal music creations. Sometimes we share with others our ideas. Life is exciting and completely open-ended for us. I'm afraid an eternity is not enough to fill the universe with the beauty we can offer. I AM sings through us."

She laughed again and said that, of course, people in the other societies were going to say the same about their lives, as I would hear when I visit them.

She said, "Keep in mind that anyone is completely free to leave this segment of the human society. Not many do it, because it is such an intensely beautiful form of existing, being able to give sounds to the vibrations of life, of I AM, and to do that with literally everything we consist of, our body, mind and spirit. It is making total love."

I thought of the multitudes I had seen earlier, behind me and to the left. What an unfathomable world the universe is!

I had no desire to learn more about anything. This would do for me. If after I die I can join this group, I will be perfectly happy. What can be more fulfilling than 'being' music and being able to un-restrictedly express it?

She made a few more comments about the 'instruments'. Saying they do not consist of matter or fabric is not entirely correct. Vibrations from inside and outside the human body can condense into a particular force or form, which then, like our instruments, produces sounds, even if they are not visible in our earthly sense.

She also referred to my impression of someone holding a trumpet. She explained, as Wisdom did before, that it was energy coming together for a sound so dense that I 'saw' it shining as a form that on earth is associated with that sound.

She said, "It is a bit like, for you, the wind becoming 'visible' because of the powerful effect it creates."

She also mentioned drums. I should know that their sound is not produced by hitting percussion instruments but by channeling and modulating the rhythms of life's heartbeat into a 'hearable' harmony that under-girds and often leads the sounds of the other 'instruments'. In other words, making and being music is as much a spiritual as an external activity.

I heard what she said but didn't even try to translate it into my earthly reality. It would come out as something completely unreal.

My time was up; the walk over. I am afraid I didn't say good bye and thank you.

But I did learn a lot.