(This chapter reports the remarks he made about his personal return to the Positive State. He did not ask attention for it as such. Information about it came in a wider context and was related to different subjects.)
Only once Gamaliel said he wanted to tell me about himself as the person who belonged to the generation that fabricated us. It turned out he wanted me to be aware that his speaking to me used his three personal perspectives: his helping to establish the pseudo-creation of the Negative State, his participation in that world, and his present situation, having broken away from it.
My comment was that evidently he did not finish the task that faced his generation, however distasteful it might have become to him.
He agreed. He indeed gave up on pursuing their challenge to come up with an existence that without a shadow of doubt could serve as an alternative world. The final proof isn't there yet that love for I AM is a real choice and not an automatic reaction by lack of another option. Although, his own choice to change points at this.
He mentioned a nagging doubt deep within his soul about the way his generation created a novel environment in their isolated space. The more he observed the results of life's core connection being disregarded, the more his sense of logic told him it was not going to work. It became a main motive for his breaking ranks. He realized that whatever they would do differently or invent as superior to what existed, there was no lasting power in it if they could not find another source for life's energy itself.
He had felt a desire to know more of the 'old' world and began to follow up on it. His generation does not have the interpersonal transparency their ancestors have; they can hide things from each other. He could only guess he was not the only one questioning things. He did notice that some of his group disappeared. Yet he remained dedicated to their joint endeavor and worked feverishly with them to further a new world in spite of enormous obstacles and barriers. There was little room for personal concerns.
He pointed out that a fundamental difference between our two generations is that their lives were not threatened as are ours, at least not directly. They did notice that the further they moved away from mirroring the original world, the deeper strange feelings of un-settledness and emptiness penetrated their souls. They don't know what it means or where it will end; whether it will increase or is just a phase. On a superficial level, they joke about it. They react to this discomfort by doubling their efforts to set up conditions that may speed up the final show-down. They expect the ultimate outcome to boost their pride and glory to an eternal high. Who could stop them?
On the other hand, we, the present humans on earth, are a threatened race, at all times affected by their machinations. On all levels is our world, being a displaced one, a threat to itself. The inherent brokenness and imperfection act up everywhere. People are aware of it and live in fear of it. And to top it off, we have no power whatsoever to change the structure of our vulnerable situation. It is a problem they do not have.
He knew of the promise given to the original humans that whatever the outcome of their pursuit, I AM would not disown them or hold it against them. He said that perhaps more than anything else, wondering why this was said has helped him to turn his life around. When reflecting on the part of his life that was absorbed by changing the face of reality, he realizes now that not only was there doubt whether the way they performed was really productive, but he sensed something was wrong because he felt a deep seated unhappiness for which he had no words. Satisfaction when successful was superficial and short-lived. What kept him going was holding on to a firm belief that he was chosen to achieve something monumental.
He sort of mused that it is also through his personal exploration of what went on in 'the depth of his soul' that the real reality shows it has no viable alternative. And even more importantly, his desertion demonstrated that the choice to opt for the truth is presented to everyone in the universe. He does not consider himself 'special' in that sense.
Embracing reality was not forced on him, and it was for sure not because he had nothing 'better' to do. He said, "Freedom has no restrictions," and added, "Neither has the realness of I AM, as my story proves."
He shared that thinking it through that the scope of all that exists might indeed be an expression of love, gave him back his 'sanity'. He experienced the transforming power of love as very personal. He reminded me that so did I, on my level. It will be so for other humans when they discover reality. Realizing being loved unconditionally is a mighty force.
He said that all people can reject the premise of the Negative State - doing away with the I AM - and can find the connection with I AM and with eternity within themselves. It has happened during all of human history on earth. And he was not referring to those who are publicly considered to be holy people or saintly.
He expressed as his deepest conviction, on the basis of what he just said about his personal experience, that his whole generation will come to the insight that the freedom they have to enslave themselves and their products to life's externals, leads into dead-end streets. Even if eventually they would win the vote of all humans on earth, they still lose.
He now sees that replacing goodness and openness - love and truth - automatically means regression. They voted themselves into nothingness, in other words. And there, I AM still wants to embrace them, he said. But to publicly entertain that idea was anathema for them.
He hit on something that seems to be a recurring theme, although I have a hard time grasping its importance. He said that when he broke ranks with his generation, he consciously became one again with the family of the human species of which he was never really separated. The oneness with them he had disowned, denied and ridiculed.
He looked directly at me when he said that the rest of the fifth generation and all of us of the sixth one are, despite everything, still one as humans. Before I AM, we are as one person.
On a light note he once asked, "Don't you think I am your guardian angel minus the wings? I speak like your good karma, don't I?" He said he liked to repeat the reason why he came to me. It primarily is to show me, in his person, the purpose of the Negative State. His person and my generation are marked by something the earlier humans show not. Indirectly, they are connected with the evil of non-love as they laid the foundation for it so it could materialize. But they do not personally experience it. My generation is the only one of the six not responsible for bringing it into being. (Wow! I thought). Yet we are the ones suffering most because of it. His coming to me I can take as encouragement to not back off from wanting to know the true facts of life and to keep trusting the importance of being of the human race.
I asked if there had been a particular incident that triggered his decision to change. He said there was and that he was going to be vague about it in order to avoid that I or someone who reads this would not focus on their own situation but compare it with his. He spoke about a person living on earth as a human to whose mind his generation had no access. This fact seemed to validate his doubt about the ultimate success of their efforts. If they failed with one, they failed, period. It told him that the image of I AM they thought was effectively eliminated in people on earth, could still manifest itself as untouchable. This event increased his restlessness substantially. He took conscious steps to explore his deepest sense of and longing for something else. It eventually led to meeting with I AM personally.
Actually, he said, it was not too unlike what I went through in my quest for knowing the truth. Yet, his transition into the Positive State was quite different than mine. For me and others in my world our mutilated external and thoroughly conditioned mental parts cannot fully harmonize with our awakened spirit.
He said that his main activity is still related to the situation on earth. There is no open communication with his 'siblings'. He is 'boycotted'. He is considered by the rest of his generation a degenerate, traitor, quitter, and is therefore despised. Yet on their deepest inner level where doubts linger, they do not let go of him, he feels. He is not the only one who defected. Several segments of their society distance themselves from the rest and are seeking reconciliation with I AM. This somewhat diminishes their generation's overall hold on planet earth. But it intensifies their focus on trends they believe will hasten the arrival of the final showdown. Symptoms of it are, indeed, globalization and specifically the communication expansion, as he said before. We, on earth, are not aware that the astonishing developments in that field are not caused by increased human ingenuity but by having their generation seeping into human thinking knowledge about it. For us, it seems a process of discovering new possibilities. For them, it is a matter of feeding us carefully monitored technical insights. Which, by the way, remain far inferior to theirs. He added that the fourth generation does the same, for other reasons.
He said that as far as I am concerned, he is in my space as a positive presence and influence. The way I see him while we are speaking illustrates that situation. Our conversation happens on my spiritual level. It has to be, otherwise I would be completely unable to participate in this kind of communication.
I already reported that he told me that the hint of sadness I perceived in him was not a reminder of particular things he had done while pursuing the Negative State but was the result of the shocking experience of having been away from I AM's closeness. He considers it to be a scar of happiness, telling him the 'wound' is healed.
He asked me to never forget that I, too, am part of the oneness with I Am. Whatever my concerns, personal ones or about what to do with all this information, the oneness is there. I can always invoke the presence of I AM.
He told me that when I encounter negative forces, I can tell them that I AM cares about them and lives within them. He knows from his own experience that when they are confronted with this kind of truth, they back off. He said that every thinking person who reads this and now knows that negative forces can appear on their spiritual level, undisguised or as impostors, can put them to the test. Anyone can turn off listening to messages, voices, intuitions or urges that tell them to do things, even if it is nicely put and sounds right. He said that my generation could do that, telling the negative forces that we make decisions and want to walk only by the light of I AM's presence. With invoking that presence nobody or nothing in the universe can argue. So in spite of all their show of might, his generation cannot handle the 'daylight' of our honesty and our choosing I AM's sphere. (This was not new to me as already in Peter Francuch's writings this is made very clear.)
He said that the universal oneness has nothing confining to it. It provides perfect vision wherever we want to look, clear insight in what we want to know and freedom to go where we wish. Well, for us on earth there still are many inaccessible areas. We miss, for instance, the instant transport features humans of the other generations have. It is a reason he does not give me details about his personal activities in the negative realm. It would sound like science fiction and my mind would not be able to grasp it. As far as understanding evil goes, what I see and know in my world as misery, horrors, deceit, non-love and imperfection represents quite well the sphere of the Negative State.
For others in the universe, the realm of the fifth human generation is like a dark, not understandable and for that reason a completely uninteresting space. Yet anyone who would desire so could enter the darkness. He said that nobody does or even considers it, and that the alternative 'reality' his generation presents is alien for those here who have some awareness of it. Actually, that realization is far overshadowed by the awe for seeing there I AM's nature surviving nevertheless.
He reminded me that I have seen during my visits spontaneous celebrations inspired by this. Not to mention that all humans have a deep compassion with those living in the darkness and with his generation that created the illusion of an alternative world.