S I X Writings 11
La Paz, 09/30/1996
I felt somewhat pressured by time. But more than that, the unpleasant experience I had yesterday in the middle of the journey, that made me cry, was very much on my mind. Doubt filled me about the realness of, and my sincerity in, engaging in these 'spiritual' adventures. The sounds I experienced seemed authentically other-worldly, but something about the 'trip' kept disturbing me on a deep level.
You were there. As always so friendly. You kept silent for a long time. Then, again, you put the choice before me. I don't have to do this visiting with You. It's completely up to me to continue or not. In all honesty I answered, "I want to continue because this direct involvement with You comes first in my life. I think I really mean this; as much as the entity I am can be sincere." You then let me know that the upcoming journey would be quite different and would cause me to wonder.
I waited patiently. An image of water came up, a vast body of it, like an ocean. I was in it and was sinking. Your voice came, "Yes, you are sinking but let yourself go. Do not worry about your breathing." I saw and felt myself going deeper into the water. Around me it got dark. In passing, I saw chunks of coral and sharp rock formations; they got bigger and bigger. It looked like what underwater films show. The thought of having to land on them scared me. Your voice seemed intended to calm me, "You have thick rubber soles; you won't get hurt."
I passed an area that glowed with some blue light. I thought I would go there. But instead, I sank deeper and deeper. The thought of inducing hypnosis crossed my mind; people being told to go deeper and deeper into trance. But in every respect, I was aware of what was happening and observed it fully 'awake'.
Then, again, there was some blue light. You said, "Let's go there." I felt Your presence going with me. The color of the water became lighter and I saw at the bottom white sand. The water around me turned into waves. Emerging from them, I noticed that they broke at the entrance of a cave. The air was clear and cool. There was a stream, an underground river. I wanted to let the current carry me, but you suggested to go in the other direction. I tried to swim against the tide, but couldn't. I felt that You got hold of me and pulled me up so that I, as it were, stood on the water. At that moment I realized I, indeed, could walk on it! The places I walked through on the stream all looked like caves. They had different colors. I noticed deep green, red, brown, yellow, violet. I worried about not remembering the colors because they seemed significant. You reacted with, "When you write this down, those readers who have insight will realize it when you make mistakes. Others won't notice."
It was a long walk. Then, the light became blue again. When I sat down, I realized that I was tired. You said, "This was your trip. You relied on Me. You accepted My presence as familiar. You didn't fear drowning. And you were free to walk on water, weren't you? Nothing negative disturbed you."
I started thinking about how to get out. You laughed and demonstratively turned around. Behind You, all that was in the range of my vision first looked as a solid huge wall; but then it started to split. Slowly, the two sides parted. "Now, this you recognize from the Moses story, do you?," You teased. "Look at it!" It was almost too majestic to watch. Two sky- high walls of water formed. I walked in between them. When I looked behind me, I saw that they seemed to come together again. Looking in front of me, I found myself on the beach I visit daily during my vacations here.