Part 1



VISITS INTO TE REAL REALITY Writing 4

13. MYSELF

It took some time to place myself on the 'other side'. Once I was there, I saw that the air was clear. Ahead of me and to the left and right were small hills, not more than three feet high. Otherwise, nothing was in sight.

I felt an urge to check if it was the same behind me. Yet something in me seemed reluctant to do so. I suspected it was because I would feel embarrassed if the wall and door were still visible. But then I noticed that I could not turn my head or body around. They just did not obey me. I kept trying, even to the point that with my hands I forced my 'earthly' head to turn and stopped walking in order to face what was behind me. I knew something was going on. So I gathered all my willpower and finally managed to look behind me.

Evidently, I had felt intuitively that something was not right there, because what I saw was the same landscape with tiny hills, but peeking from behind those and from the open spaces in between were what I best can describe as 'Halloween' heads, round like the head of an octopus. They were covered with something white that had black holes in it. There was some movement and I got the distinct impression that through the holes eyes were looking at me.

(This, as such, did not so much scare me as that it threw me for a loop. How could something unpleasant or unsightly happen in this world? Was the truth finally coming out that all these visits were creations of my imagination which, of course, could not keep hiding my dark sides for too long?)

I didn't know what to do.

But soon, the hundreds of covered 'heads' raised themselves, the white covering was thrown off and there, again in a clearly leading position, stood the duo of my alter ego, laughing and obviously considering this a successful joke.

I didn't see it that way and demanded to hear what this was all about. Why did they try to scare me?

They said there were several reasons. One was that in their segment of the human society, people like to joke, pull pranks and tease. They knew that yesterday my 'son' had left it up in the air if I would meet them today so they used that to fool me.

But there was a reason other than just teasing me. Did I realize that I had not really gotten afraid or panicky? It was a good sign that even if something seemed wrong here, I could remain calm. They were not called to teach me anything, but by pulling this on me, they could show me I was capable of not reacting too quickly or overreacting when I was confronted by strange and incomprehensible things.

I remembered telling myself when I first saw those ghost-like humps, that I should stay calm because it sure must have a purpose I would understand later. I was glad that, indeed, I had handled my emotions well. Even though I did question again the 'realness' of this world.

A third reason for the prank was, they said, to set the tone for our reunion, the merger, when we will be one person. I knew already their 'warrior' aspect, so now they want to show their clowning and lighthearted side.

They asked me to look at how they were dressed. I saw they both looked like elegantly dressed pages. Their outfits were identical. My first association was that they represented some higher authority.

Wisdom was there. He said that I was correct.

My 'parallel' self said they looked forward to being with me in a way that I would understand and would not cause me so much mental confusion.

I brought up that I must have shamed them to no end over the years, by doing things and entertaining thoughts contradictory to the beautiful sphere in which they exist.

They dismissed this and informed me that when I do things on my physical or mental earthly level inspired by my innermost spirit, things that come from an honest desire to be positive, I am aligned with their reality. They are aware of it and applaud my choices in that direction.

When this is not the case, when I do not operate from within, but let the external world guide me, they do not relate to what I do. It does not register in them. And even if they would see me at my 'worst', there would be no judgment, fear or any unpleasant reaction in them. What is negative is outside their realm. They only know and relate to good.

They reminded me of an experience I had years ago, in which they sort of entered me. "You are us and we you. The separation will be no more when you leave your earthly existence."

I realized I am not one step closer in understanding this being also them than when I first 'met' them. But I ignored that for now.

I asked them about what kept them occupied.

Wisdom asked if it was all right that he explained that. Which was fine with me.

"They, you, belong to a segment of the human world that oversees things. Your society is specialized in thinking through the strategies of living together in the universe. It calculates consequences and monitors changes. You do it! Without knowing exactly or, actually, not knowing at all where it could lead to, you wanted insight into things normally beyond people's interest so that you would have some idea what existence entails.

Here is no lack of knowledge about structures and dynamics, yet changes go on all the time. It means adjustments have to be made, new directions prepared and movements coordinated. As such, this is not complicated like changes on earth are because the flow of love, openness and perfection is never compromised or threatened. The issue is to let life happen elegantly and efficiently for all affected areas and entities.

Well, your people's specialty is to guide the liveliness of life and monitor its implications; also technically. They don't promote changes as each particle and unit is capable of making their own choices. And the focus is not on details but on seeing to it that all moves contribute optimally to expressing the glory of I AM's nature in the change. All changing amounts to progression. Your society inspires and models it. You could say that they 'back up' the harmony in our human dimension of the universe.

By the way, this is the reason you see whole 'armies' of them. As nothing is ever the same, there is always work to do."

(I had to laugh to myself. All my life I have lacked interest in dealing with details, while overseeing things comes easy.)

"Well, that is not by accident," Wisdom said, evidently reading my thoughts. "It is some influx from your person here that is coming through." ('And what about genes? I thought.)

I completely forgot to ask about their personal lives, housing, family, relationships and the like. But I did ask if, as a group, they had a distinct lifestyle or a certain area where they lived, like the musicians and the 'sport' sections seemed to have.

They nodded, but warned me not to see this as a fixed situation. Everything can change and all distinctions are fluid.

I verbalized my idea that perhaps the different segments in the human society I started seeing, each related to one of the 'twelve elements of being' that figured in the 'Writings'.

Their answer was affirmative, but they added that I should be careful to not think in terms of isolated groupings. All distinctions and seeming separations are relative, as the core oneness of all supersedes every difference. This allows literally all that exists to be changeable, fluid, on the move, interactive and always of equal importance and beauty.

I did not share that this could mean I would perhaps visit nine more worlds. What I did say was that I was not pleased with the fact that this visit was much too much about me. What interest can it hold for people who might read this? My guess is it will rather irritate than enlighten.

Wisdom simply said that there is no other way. I am me, so I cannot offer or contribute any other story to life than the one that is mine; nor can I tell others how to react to this or how to find Reality. He said that by taking seriously the part of life I am, I fall in line with everything in the one reality. In it, even the tiniest particle is a world by itself as it is an expression of I Am. I should not go through these experiences with an eye on what others may think of them or what effect they will have. I can just live to the fullest with my particular abilities.

As if he could read my thoughts - which of course he can and does - he remarked that the puzzle of how to present all this to the world around me would become clear in due time. No need to worry about it or plan strategies.

My alter ego and their entourage became vague and were gone. Or perhaps my attention shifted?

I shared with Wisdom my frustration about not being able to speak so that people listen. Now I'm told I belong to a category of 'leaders', should that not improve my earthy performance? Especially since I have so much new information about real life?

Wisdom answered that I could make use of any opportunity given to me to give out that information. How I do it is also a matter of practice and getting used to being who I am. But it remains my decision which choices I make in my speaking and behavior.

I mentioned that when I am with I AM, everything is so clear, but when I have an opportunity to talk about it, so little of it I can put into words.

"What criteria do you use?" he asked. He gave the answer himself.

"Only when you make sure you speak from the presence and closeness of I AM, your words will have the value you desire. You will keep encountering resistances as long as you are on earth. But then, you also encounter that what is resisted, the remnants of the true reality. Moment by moment, it is your choice to side with either the pseudo-power of the Negative State and its manifestations or with the truth of the Positive State that comes through. Your freedom to choose is central in all your circumstances. Don't go by wishful thinking."