APPEARANCES Writing 5
It is with strongly felt anticipation, or should I say, trepidation,
that I begin to write down what You're going to tell me about
Your first name. What will I notice, if anything at all? Why is
this name coming up last here while it's the first of the seven?
In the back of my mind is the wondering how I'll be confronted with
a side of You that simply escapes the range of our human brains, at
least for us on earth. For us, it's impossible to grasp the Reality fully
in our cut-off position. Perhaps 'One Holy' has hidden implications.
The word 'holy' seems to cover where the divine touches humans.
We call things or people that are receptacles for it 'sacred' or 'holy'.
We do agree, there's a side to life that's a mystery, not knowable, a
transcending one, beyond any theories we humans could develop.
I now must squarely face a name expressing what can't be named.
It's a wall I won't be able to see beyond. So, is it 'Stop', or still 'Go'?
You nod while I express these thoughts that kept nagging me during this writing.
'Yes,' You say, 'this name does point at what's just not 'name-able.' You explain that
if You'd come with this name first, before showing Your other six appearances,
my spiritual antennas could've self-destruct. But now I've seen You, I am ready.
I know that, evidently, I survive gaining first-hand insight in Who You are and
being exposed to the colors and sounds of Your being Love and Truth. It means,
You say, that now I am able to handle that what otherwise I could not yet.
Did I have to hear this? I see my place in life's totality. Why do I need more than
the abundance I've already got? By showing Yourself, You must have by-passed
my system's malfunctioning. You'll do it for all who honestly desire it. You love
to be seen, You love to be embraced. I see 'One Holy' as a warning that I am not
You. You are all life's I AM. One Holy says that life's only 'secret' is, not Who or
What You are, but that You are. Our fabricators, treating life as not emanating
from You, smeared Your first name with disrespect and dismiss Your nature's
not name-able part. The fallout of their doings is earth. Yet even here, nothing
is outside of Your I AM. You say that Your not see-able face, imperceptible for
any being or entity besides You Yourself is yet 'all over'and 'all in' life's Reality.
As Love and Truth, You show Your innermost Self. One Holy says, nothing can be projected
into You. It also says, You transcend all that we call 'all'. We mention sacredness, yet cannot
claim it. We shout 'Holy', 'Holy', but cannot reach it. Only You know that being You is hidden
as well is gloriously in all. And this is for all those in 'heaven' or other dimensions the same.
All process it differently, but for those also, Your oneness extends beyond all life's totality.
'In this sense,' You say, 'My first face only I Myself can see. No instrument can catch
'its form or content, neither do signs. Unlike as with Love and Truth I see you at a loss.
'Good! You should be! I can't explain or have you understand more than showing you
'My other six names. My One Holy 'illuminates' the other names as source and spirit.
'I am life's candles' light. It's the one source of existence. Because of it, I am the I AM.
'You saw me in six different ways. Those six add up to seven! Can you live with that?
'In what grand Reality you occur! My unknown has nothing that you can grasp. It's
'coming with life. From it, all flows. Also My not diminishing personal involvements.
'You wonder why I bother telling you, as it's beyond any reach. Yet trust Me. I'm My
'first face and see its impact is life itself. I tell you, as the 'oneness of all' includes it,
'you don't hit a wall when saying, One Holy. It says, 'I am all the horizons, beyond
'anyone's reach. It contains no threats. My first name, together with the other six
'herald My completeness and absoluteness. And yet, I am even 'more' than that!'
'Let me address your concern about using places of worship. The Negative State uses those
'to the hilt. Religion is an easy target. Yet, sensing sacred oneness, when humbly expressed,
'can provide comfort or joy. It points at substantial cracks in earth's isolation. But once My
'transcending all becomes ritualized, jailed as doctrine or is defended, it's hollow or worse.
'This applies also to what 'is' known of Me. 'Sacred' stories, myths, caring, art and justice,
'those the Negative State loathes, as they may reveal a truth inspired by closeness to Me.
'Your journey is such a story. Love and truth can be embraced, despite everything. So you
'can see as bottom line of earth and of all life its sacredness.'
'This, My first name, has as 'feature' - one of your terms - that it's not, even not
'by correspondence, similar to anything creation offers. When humans ponder
'life, they know there's an non-comprehensible aspect to it that can't even be
'guessed. Yet nobody is ever outside of it. How then can this, My first spirit or
'face, still have a name and glow so it can be seen and addressed? It can't! All
'about it is by approximation. Bringing it up with you, or with those in the full
'Reality, greatly differs. Only earth humans and their fabricators challenge Me.
'The universe knows that although this side is the safeguard in life, it can't be
'grasped. It fascinates, inspires, while majestically encircling them. The first
'humans entered life in order to explore whether life without Me is possible.
'Some challenged the value of My everywhere worshiped first name. Earth
'people also guess about the scope of the hidden side of life. You are free to
'do this. Yet remember, you yourself aren't outside its realm. Calling Me One
'Holy can serve as happy affirmation that even beyond the borders of life's
'Totality dwells My trustworthy 'more'. I'm at home in that open wideness. I
'honor My roots by being Love and Truth. Asking where eternal life starts is
'looking in a mirror, trying to see someone else than you are. Why question
'Reality? When awareness of existing arises, I'm in the picture, so to speak.
'Consider nothing of you as not you, or not your adventure. Writing about
'all life's elements with an awareness of My first face, allows you fully to
see your own person, who is portraying how life can be lived.'
I bring up an event still puzzling me. In meditation years ago, I 'saw' You in an ocean
of light, cosmic in size, looking truly holy! But I didn't trust the vision, as too perfect,
standard, predictable. Was it an impostor or a negative spirit cleverly tricking me?
On the other hand, the scene truly was so majestic. Celestial brilliance it radiated.
So I ask now, 'Was it You, allowing me to see You in
that splendor? Or was I fooled. (I drank some wine).
Did I invent this glory, inspired by some neediness?'
I see You smile, encouraging me to face the confusion.
Since it did happen then, why ignore it? So, I mention
it and ask You about it. I have to admit that still, both
explanations make sense. It was too pure to be false
and too right to be true. I look at You and We laugh.
Immediately I see why. When a negative presence
smells a chance to contort my idea of You, it'll do it.
It grants our wish! They know You better than we.
So they install in my brains the images, impressive,
yet clever imitations of reality. In other words, not
one image of You can I trust. unless it comes from a
placing myself unconditionally in In Your presence.
Again I look at You. The six faces I met seem all there.
I've an overwhelming sense that this truly is all of You,
despite my garbled vision. In the un-seen presence of
Your first face, I want to look at what I've been doing
as the life-form I am. It is not easy to be completely
honest and objective. I once feared this writing is a
final effort of an aging person to balance the books
in his favor by dressing up his fledgling spiritual side.
Well, if this is the case and I follow a known pattern,
so be it! I do say that for nothing in the world - I try
be honest! - I would miss this. I never swam freer in
life's currents, in my spirit, or when just being busy .
Your not-know-able side supersedes all I can think,
I want to revisit my reaction to Your being Love, its height and depth.
How involved in it am I, if at all? I realize that, in general, love was for
me not a force I relied on. To be nice and safe, that did dominate my
motives. Not that my personal story is valuable for readers. Some
recognize it as familiar to them. Others may testify they feel love as
greatest inspiration. Truth is that we all are in the midst of love: be
it fully aware of it or be it avoiding it and denying its importance.
Your presence now is strong, dense. I feel no threat or a being pushed.
Yet it seems I have to come clean with myself, as if I am facing a sharp,
unbending jury, set on judging only from love. You let me know it is
important that I am completely sincere. Your six faces provide all the
material for seeing where I am in the totality of existence. Inability to
know or sense the first is no excuse. You say that imagery, the vessel
by which I 'see' You, is based on a hardly-aware selection. There's no
guarantee against being fooled. I can always consciously turn to Your
frequency to become transparent. I can't say I'm very successful at it.
But I try hard. Now I re-enter the full Reality by free choice, I'm like
handing You the keys of closets I didn't know of. Or rather, I give You
the master key to all that I am and contain, conscious of that or not.
You do not react, but say, 'My first face isn't more important than the
'others. I am One. In all respects, I am the center and scope of all existing
'My seven-fold spirit is the light by which being exists. Denying it is lying.
'Your self-examination is quite flawed. You know this comes from being
'fabricated as you are. Yet, you can step on the roads to liberation and
'resurrection when you question all your motives critically and sincerely.'
I realize I always was exposed to rays of love, genuine as human love
can be. I don't recall as a child responding in kind. Seldom did I give.
I took receiving for granted. My goal was to not get in trouble. Later
I understood I set myself up for being dishonest and aloof. I did not
doubt the truth of goodness or sharing. Holding back caused pain.
Yet I hardly tried change. I had my idea of 'God', but it didn't inspire.
It may seem that I use this writing as a way of sharing about myself.
Being close to You makes it hard to not be honest with others. Still,
what is in my heart comes not out easily. Habits are tenacious. By
my standards, I do not show a noble picture. Many see me as nice
but rather distant. I am used to that. Yet now, I am grateful that an
honest, a caring part seems to surface spontaneously more often.
Do I truly love You? I never thought I will be able to answer with
a heartfelt, 'Yes!' Now, amidst still many clouds, saying 'yes' truly
connects me with what I firmly stand for. It is for real: I love You!
You are still a personal presence, presenting Yourself as the One
un-knowable. I do not wonder about it any more; it confirms I do
know You! It amazingly cleanses Me from speculations. So here I
am, physically and mentally enjoying my fortunes, while at times
some tears of sorrow flow for having missed out on sharing and
loving; above all, for keeping You at a distance. But that'll join
my joy. You said that nothing in the universe corresponds with
Your first side. Must I wonder whether I am, as do all on earth,
an illustration of the opposite of what is You as the One Holy?
I see You smile. I take the smile as a hint to not theorize or form certain concepts.
All right! I do know now nothing negative has roots in You. I do disown darkness
as much as possible here. Just seeing and feeling Your smile is worth everything!
This is my story, my responding to love. While I do my best, You'll see me falling
over and over again. I, indeed, don't come close to what is 'holy'. Yet I'm so right
that I love You and I do trust You.
You invite me to see how comforting it is that all the light and warmth,
the fire in life, the spirit of it, comes from You. Nothing, nothing, we as
life-forms contribute to the source of life. Our glory is in just function
as expression of Who You are. The first name One Holy tells no story
about You, except that You're so much more than the force by which
all life exists. The universes never get tired praising and celebrating
the marvelous order of things. You'll be always abundantly honored.
'Yes!', You say, 'only on earth is confusion about relating to Me.
'The 'hell's' do know who I am. They chose to fight Me violently.
'The human race did come into being to explore and pursue the
'crucial question if the fire of life can also elsewhere be ignited.
'As product of this, you cannot grasp that other beings have no
desire to grasp the Me, Unknown in origin, yet Known in all else.
'You really think this limits a full understanding? No, this 'limit'
'is inspiring when you're feeling Me close by. It throbs with life.
'Calling Me One Holy points at My all-transcending. My 'flame'
'sets afire anything that desires to transmit the liveliness of life.
'You can say that My choice to have light bursting forth from
'My fiery passion in all directions is the finest joy I like sharing.
'You, too, will find that your joy increases when not expecting
'My first name to cause special sensations. It is in everything.
'The name says: you are O.K.. It says: the glow or vibrancy of
'My other faces is complete. So live, talk, laugh un-restricted.
'Like fire, I always give of Myself. Like fire, I'll never decrease.
'As the All Who 'Is', I provide safety. I'm protected by Myself.
'I don't recognize 'holy' place or rituals. Everything is sacred
'in My presence. The linking worship to externals falsifies it.
'Think of what keeps you going. It's My energy, My passion.
'Are your mind and spirit close enough to Me to be inspired?'
I take it that You say that I, as it were, can jump into the
'Unknown' of You. Doing it, Your other faces will shine
brighter and I will align with true Reality. You, as One
Holy, are where to start our life's unfolding totality. In
it, all will add to the fullness from where it originates.
It is moving, to see an open door to eternity's field of
energy. I can now dismiss questions about You; You
are already with, in and through me. I treasure Your
fire in me; it has me humming, sing. It's like cooking
up a tasty meal from the ingredients I am. If others
also feel the same, we may happily dine together.
Like others, I did speculate 'about' You. What a fiasco! It kept me away from Your warm-
blooded presence and inspiration. When hearing about violent clashes in solar systems,
I wonder how those fiery cosmic forces relate to You. Your talk so calmly to me. You say:
'Do not worry! In conceptualizing and responding to My being all-fire, your intelligence is too
'restricted to grasp much. Science can keep looking for 'facts', but My spirit precedes them all.'
You bring up the 'controversial' vision I once had of Your total splendor.
'Do not think so of Me. It'll prevents stumbling upon My true splendor in you.
'I know many paint 'heaven' as a golden city in which I and My throne shine.
'But I appeared to you as colors and sounds. Though without My fire they're
'all dull. I don't ask you to describe or grasp Me. I invite you and everyone to
'be ablaze with the spirit, light and passion I am. Then all of you people will
start to 'sparkle with an non-measurable radiance.'
Pleasantly, You offer that this element of life, space,
provides human beings on earth with a very direct
appreciation for what Your being One Holy means.
Sooner or later, at one point in our development as
individual, we're impressed by the 'idiocy' of being
minuscule in the ferociousness of nature's forces.
Yet we do cope with our insignificance in the total
of existence that we only can approach from our
personal human position - as if that's life's center.
You nod and remind me that most tend to ignore
serious wondering and stick to others' opinions.
However, all life's totality is unavoidable. Space
'is'. Everything has its place as unique occurrence',
You explain. 'All in life presents a certain volume,
'appearing in the flow and scope of My one space.
'So all face the enormity of 'outside' and 'around'.
'My name One Holy covers its not-searchables'.
'It glows with a not comparable splendid shine.
'Know that for all My emanations it is the same
situation. All are relative to Me, being the I AM.
'Boundless space offers a direct sense of 'more'.
'I've told you that 'heaven's' reaction differs from yours.
'The privilege to participate in life's infinite adventure
'is by all experienced as an inexhaustible source of joy.
'The universe greets splendid additions, directly from
'Me or indirectly, all happily adding their uniqueness.
'A part of the human race wrote their negative story.
'Initially liking their mission as explorers of freedom,
'they became obsessed with being free to ignore Me.
'Eventually, isolated in their pseudo or 'alternative'
'dimension called the Negative State, they created
'the offspring, confined by time, place and volume.
'Till today those born in their zone are conditioned
'to deny My presence. Also cosmic powers turned
'destructive; some serve as shields to keep Me out.'
'You humans on earth have no concept of My volume.
'You're faulty products of forces beyond your control.
'Eternity is taken as without any daily practical value.
'It's imperative for the Negative State to be accepted
'as legitimate, so their alternative world can show to
'be a success. They boast, 'Isn't that our true calling?'
'Yet all earth life is abnormal, from its conception to
'to dying. 'Millions' of eons experimenting produced
'fragile humans, imprisoned in fear and dependency.
'It's why you feel so lost in space's violent vastness.
''Where do I fit in?', is a grim thought in human life.
'All fear comes from lack of knowing the true facts.'
'You experience the absence of human limitations by
'My visiting you. You do then realize Who I am. Evil's
'routines don't work whenever I am honestly sought.
'On this positive note, yes, do hold up My first name.
'Even if beyond your grasp, do marvel at the fullness
'of the Real Reality as guaranteed by My One Holy.
'You then join the Positive State in its universality.
'Already now you may be at home in eternal space.
'You can invite dark forces to convert and join you.
'No space poses any threats with Me as One Holy.
'Consider yourself to be My partner and lover. Do
'ask, 'Am I desiring any other destiny or position?'
'In this component of life, you may hit the biggest obstacle in understanding Me.'
'Clearly, You want me to see this right at the beginning. Connecting means
'that all somehow is related, is part of a whole, even if some segments may be in
'a darkness like your moon's backside. Now, the name of My first realm, or as I
'call it, My face, says, 'No, there's no direct or logical link between this side and
'My emanations. This is very hard to figure out for you, because nothing similar
'exists in life. Any occurrence is a touch from Me, yet I transcend it. Living with
'this contradiction is a factual reality. In this sense, 'hell' and 'heaven' are in the
'same boat. All existence 'is'. So, why bother? Let Me tell you that the sense of
'safely belonging to the wholesome and truly meaningful life depends on this.
'In the realm of the Positive State, 'heavens', it is inconceivable to turn one's
'back to it. My first aspect is praised loudly. Praising Me as One Holy shows a
'total unselfishness. What's praised is unknowable, alien and out of reach. Yet,
'all embrace it wholeheartedly. For you, to live with that 'enigma' is not easy.
'But It turns your fabricators against Me in frustration. They are still fuming.'
I see You smiling as You tease, 'It's very smart to not worry about Me. I can live
'with this secret! So why don't you try? There is more than this enigma. The issue
'is that nothing identifies with this name. Take this 'nothing' as completely literal.
'Speaking My first name is an invitation for a direct, joyful dedication of all your
'faculties to My Totality. It has been said that to live, one first has to die. There's
'logic in that. By first accepting to not grasp, you know! If you struggle with this
'strange concept, keep in mind My other six faces. You can somehow represent
'those. My One Holy allows you, and all that is, to truly trust and fully love Me.
'Throughout earth's history people managed to break the captivity of a being
'conditioned and much malfunctioning, by contacting Me. I warmly welcome
'all who listen to their longing to belong to a life of harmony, oneness and love.
'It is My world. Not knowing My first face means not it is not there, or dwells
'in a vacuum. It defies being projected, so in this sense it eludes you. By your
'standards, My being One Holy doesn't connect. 'All's a contact' seems false,
'as it's not applicable to 'everything'. Yet it is! Here, again, you must choose:
'you cannot grasp My origin and absoluteness, but do you still love Me? You
still trust Me? I will not change, Reality will not. And what about yourself?'
That all expands eternally and isn't going backward or halts at stop signs
is an exhilarating thought, at least for me. It is something I grasp as really
happening in the big total scheme of things. It is like a rousing crescendo,
the thought You're 'on the move' or that life is on the move. With me in it.
I learned Your One Holy was and is the stamp on all that occurs. Everywhere, new
creations and life-forms are marked by the 'more' You are. You named this aspect
as Your first face and yet You don't show it. For You it indicates a being, a moving
and travelling in all directions. Thus proving Your being the 'I AM' in and as all.
Your all-transcending light can also on earth be seen as core secret. Numerous names
warn, as 'Holy' does: 'Hands off!, no further!' In other words, always on all our journeys
through life is our position relative to what escapes our thinking. So we don't have to
address it. I ask, 'Am I correct?'
You nod and You say, 'Yes, there are people correctly recognizing that this 'side' of Me
'is not accessible for human thinking. Some, for this reason, abstain from even using a
'name for Me. For the Negative State this is extremely threatening. They always attack
'this true sense of Me and cunningly flood it with false information or ridicule. Always,
'when progress is made on earth in the understanding of Me, negative forces will see
'to it that it becomes side-tracked, confusing, mixed with destructive concepts, power
'issues and what have you, so the truth cannot become too central and a real threat
'for their pursuit. Your human history still illustrates how progress is getting reversed.'
'My becoming 'more' applies to all areas of life. What it means for My One Holy, what
'light this candle sheds, can't be figured out by you. The word 'more' is meaningless in
'this context. Still, 'Progression' explains the universe. It clears people's paths if they
'move on despite what is 'hidden' and they let go of speculation. You should see all
'heavens' intrigued by My not-name-able side. You would see that it marks spiritual
'and mental progress, not as something problematic but as a chance to shine more.
'They marvel at this part of Reality, without having to grasp it or to be it themselves.
'It causes lovemaking to be increasingly sensuous, deep. It affects their desire for Me
'and Mine for them. It affects all contacts. Even in humans' crummy way of loving,
'the more genuine trust is involved, the more partners are baffled by the depth and
'unspoken glory of coupling. Wise people don't wait for grasping the eternal move
'towards more glory. They experience it and accept it as a gift. It'll always impress
'and fascinate them. The closest you can come to know the scope of My first face, is
'by all the time realizing that all life's origin is not you, but is Me.'
Then You remarked, 'You seem somewhat tense about all this. You wonder if your
reporting this makes any sense, because it seems to say nothing substantial or new.
'Well, from day one, creatures notice that their limitations can't stop life. Religions
'addressed this obvious, yet also maddening situation. You realize, do you, that the
'living of life is always personal?'
I nod as answer. It's so true: I feel far removed from theories or opinions 'about' You
Some, in the past, did kindle some curiosity. All made me critical. I know this writing
is just the package and not the content of arriving. Life's 'secret' is in You being You.
'Including My not-being grasped,' You laugh.
'Your creators hoped they could eliminate both. Their initial fight was against My
'first name. Well, they still try to duplicate Me, minus My hidden side as One Holy.
'They, foolishly, believe that if they copy My external side, My transcending it will
'become irrelevant. Yet for all in existence, My One Holy just 'is'. Wondering does
'allow for 'tasting' My sphere and walking with Me as I am. It'll bring you mighty
'further. All that is around you, you can invite to join you. For what in 'heaven' is
''full speed ahead' you're not yet equipped. But be assured, your 'little' progress
'covers spiritual light-years.'
I am indeed sure that something is happening with me. It's almost as if, for some
time already, my 'guts' tell me. It's a lightness, a void of worries or neediness to
'know'. It's peaceful and unrelated to things. My daily doings go more smoothly.
I see myself getting there. I am so happy for that. Thank You!
'You, and all else in life, are a result, an effect of My being life's I AM.
'I say this to underline that literally all life-forms are, to Me, equally
'important. I am My seven faces, candles , spirits. My nature contains
'all twelve components. You function by these ingredients. Life lives
'because it's the way I like and love it. Only because of Me existence
'exists. See its magnitude! It isn't an abstract idea, but a realness of
'your hand writing and air being breathed. All participate in it. Why
'I exist? You know it, when you take your person as an object of My
'love and as one I love to be loved by. If you dare to let this sink in
'everything will make good sense. You've the freedom to deny your
'status as originating in Me. I do not judge you. Yet realize, you are
'born to be active, not as passive fluke but as factor in My nature.
'Your ancestors started creating an externals-focused life, using
'the creative power available to all. With it, they made a 'pseudo'
'world. The original idea was noble. They liked to be useful, but
'became obsessed with total freedom's power to effect. They
'bypassed Me, reveling when it surpassed their wildest dreams.
'Afflicting mutations became a passion. Replacing My One Holy as
'obsolete: it fascinated them. Causing forced deaths, they indeed
'became 'not as Me'. A full cessation of one particle would mean
'the end of Me, as it invalidates My All-ness. Yet, by trying it, they
'tested the all-freedom by not acting as I do. The randomness of
'evil is a result of their choices to focus on the outside of life. You
'are in their world. You, too, chose negative options. Yet it's your
'choice to amidst all ugliness hold on to My love-nature in you.'
'Universally, nothing of the dark doings of humanity is liked,
'It demonstrates the results of 'being effect' not being used
'for the good of all.' You stop and wait till I face You. You
'say: 'I'm not involved in anything the slightest destructive.
'Don't think that this potential could hide in My One Holy.
'My first face never produces effects that will differ from
'those of My other six spirits. I just transcend everything.
'I transcend all that is, yet in that is nothing threatening'
'There's a sneaky sense in people that seeing Me is lethal. In a way,
'it's true! Before Me, lies aren't just totally unmasked,but instantly
'evaporate. Cleverly, the fear of Me is promoted by the evil State.
'I'm painted as punisher of sins that must sacrificially redeemed
'and followed by obeying strict laws. Quite an effective lie!'
I feel Your warmth. I sense an urgency in the way You look. 'Yes,'
'You say,'this is crucial. How do you see Me? You like to forego lies?
'You're not obliged to! I do not employ angels of death. Nothing I
'do affects negatively. Myths or religious lore saying I do, are clear
'projections of humans' fears or 'guilt, even if they're piously told.
'You conclude, 'I see You listen; you feel My closeness. You found
peace and strength in representing Me in all your causing things.'
The complexity of acting right remains a challenge. Yet I warmly welcome
all this. I know of pain and worry but what really counts is that Your spirit
touches me. All my personal doings have consequences. I'm manipulated
and used by many forces. We here are influenced all over. But Your being
the One Holy anchors us un-unshakably in the full Reality.
I'm fully aware that I'm still in the dark as to with what name to address You
when we meet or when talking about You. I can use the 'generic' term 'God',
but I see Your seven-fold face. Most religions push certain names for You.
But is there a name that is right for everybody?
Good-humoredly You say, 'Do I call you by a name? I may use your first name,
'but not your 'heavenly' one. I refrain from it to avoid complicating Our contact.
'Names carry associations. I like fresh- and newness. You are loved like the one
'you are in 'heaven'. Names there state what unites; variety requires no labels.'
A thought crossed my mind. Perhaps triggered by You. I said, 'Being close
'inspires me to put dots on the 'I' of me. 'You grin and nod, 'Isn't it about time
'with all this writing you do that you come 'to sensible personal conclusions?'
I venture, 'So I am free to determine the manner of addressing You? Perhaps
'at the spur of the moment? Yet is every life-form entitled to a specific name?'
You mention that You shared Your seven names yet never asked you to
'address You by any of them specifically.
'That wasn't My purpose. They reveal My fullness. They do identify Me,
including the first. One Holy is a human term. It implies that you can't
know what it covers. Yet, it fits into My being's unique absoluteness.'
You smile. 'Confused? Please, go on! You are very close to the truth of
'how We can relate. Yes, focus on your freedom.'
I do. I like to say with words what's dawning on me. It is that only when
my heart chooses a name, You hear it. Our words and mouth must never
detach from our total self. A name for You will then truly represent me.
Fixed or prescribed names for You are invalid. Only from our particular
spot can we say how we see You. Name or no name.
You nod, so I want to ask, again, if there's no need for one name all people
share or can use when talking about You. Yet I don't ask it, as I realize that
our inside-out position here that needs shared words, marks un-freedom
and dependency. You keep nodding, so I go on, 'Yet, not adopting childhood
'cultural teachings leaves us in a vacuum! And what a danger creates that for
'getting caught in a wishful thinking and projecting some personal needs from
'our cross-wired and polluted minds! Or, since we're all unique, may that lead
'to use names that become too exclusively personal for addressing You? What
'names do 'angels' use or those in the other realms? Do they name You on the
'basis of their position before You? Or must always come through in a name
'for You the absoluteness of Your three-layered self? The name used in the
'book, 'The New Revelation', 'The Lord Jesus Christ', does that, but it sounds
'dated and therefore limiting, not globally useful. Plus that negative forces
easily obliterate its universality by waving the 'literalist' flag. They're doing
that with everything coming from any 'religion, faith or approach.'
Well, here I go again, wondering about others while the issue is, what are
my intentions? It's the intention You hear in whichever name that I'll use!
'Yes,' You say, 'free choosing and personal intention always directly empower
'and color the names used for Me. It's experiencing My closeness that creates
'all he time new names for Me. Talking 'about' Me is futile. Talking with Me is
the choice that all in the whole universe are using for contact.'
I do not feel put down, yet I'd hoped for a more precise answer to settle for
me once and for all the issue of how to address You. Yet I realize how truly
fortunate and rich I am now, having seen Your faces, sides, names, candles,
spirits, appearances. What a document, this Writing! I'll treasure over and
over again my now knowing the twelve components of life and my having
seen Your seven-fold Self. What more could I wish?
You ask to come close, so You can embrace me. 'Do not mention a name,'
You say. 'If you truly desire to address Me, then coming close is speaking it.'
Reality is joy. The sound of it is laughter. The color is sparkling silver,
fresh and stark. You are that! Your presence is lightness. Most of us
suffer at some time; disasters hit; pain debilitates and worries drain.
I look at You. Nothing cheap is in Your glow. I wished all who suffer
could see this, so that some heaviness is lifted. You keep affirming
all is right. Reality is joy. Life is; will be; for all. Your One Holy seals
life's happiness. It stays the central theme in my thinking that only
in Your presence I discern the scope of the Real Reality. Who I am
and how I relate cannot be figured out away from Your closeness.
Deep inside I feel the tickling of laughter wanting to come out of a
closet. I hesitate to give in too much. Coping with life's demands is
for me, as for many people, nothing to deal with lightly. Still, Your
presence has it written all over You wish to dwell in our spirit and
mind, since our mission entails more than the daily obligations or
chores. Your light x-rays our sphere. Life's content can mirror You.
Our earth is not exempted. Your smile I often see says You're not
a promise or an idea but a real presence liking to be seen, so we
can rejoice. I know an 'happy' is not gracing the commonly used
names for You. And an One Holy 'bans' You to being outside our
realm. It keeps You at a distance, prevents intimacy or gladness.
I ask You if it means it is unimportant, the combination of letters
or words from religious traditions we use for You. Can they be a
vessel, important as long as its cargo is our joy to see You? Your
react with a loud laugh brightening my whole room and say: 'Of
'course, My friend, lover, My hopelessly confused self-centered piece
'of human deformity. Intention speaks, not the outer package. So ask
'yourself: `Is it not about time for me to just join Me in being happy?'
'Realize what you stir up making My name a problem while you've
'access to Me directly, personally and always. Joyfully, you and all
'creation can transcend particulars of your position or activities as
'My emanation. Joy helps to detach from your so often blown-up
'human ego. I laugh because I feel like it. I express My joy in living
'through you and all in life. It's therefore I do reveal My first name
'One Holy. It covers no dark heaviness. You can tease Me with it!'
I see more and more I do not need to give You a name like humans do, as long
as addressing You is in line with the closeness We share and the lightness You
radiate. You say that in 'heaven' no disharmony happens in form and content
of speaking and hat words never get stale or false, as minds and mouth keep
communicating in perfect unity and in always enjoyed new love experiences.
'You are discouraged by the earthly conflicts in acknowledging Me.
'You know the source. The quarrels won't stop. Only as individual
'can you laugh with Me. When I meet with you, I do reveal Myself,
'but not in the role of a teacher. It is up to you, to decide whether
'you join Me. So drop any hesitation and treasure talking with Me.
'I have shown all My colors; you heard sounds; you saw structure
'and process. You met yourself in My Manifestation and Energy.
'Did words ever presented a problem? The 'words' I speak to any
'presence in My creation trigger music of glad gratitude. Yet all
'people's hearing on earth is thoroughly interfered with. You do
'not use the names revealed in 'The New Revelation' any more.
'Your arrival in Reality has you walk on air, so to speak. I never
'laugh at you or at anybody. I will gladly join you when you see
'humor in the twists, turns or tumbles your personal life takes.
'So, accept My closeness and treasure My smile.'
I realize, thinking of this, that my wish to share insights I received often
is riddled with unholy or self-serving motives. It causes more tightness
than carefree hopping. Still, even in view of my reluctance, the hopping
is proper in dealing with myself or with You in awe and friendship and
with others who feel the same. Joy 'is' You. Also as the One Holy.
What seldom happened in all my writing, I had to interrupt myself, stop and
take a second look at it, because something was not right. I talked with You
about it and resumed writing, thinking that I had cleared my mind and was
focused only on what You let me know. But when I started to transfer the
notes to the computer, I again hit a roadblock. I read and read the notes,
and started feeling more and more something essential must be missing.
During my walks,when I talk with You, I struggled with it. It became clear
I had to observe how I deal with differentness, my own, to start with. So I
told You I'd like You to confirm that I'm on the right track in exploring my
practice of integrating this element of all being not alike, being different.
Just as I was ready to continue writing about differences regarding Your
first name, I got an unexpected letter, telling me that I am responsible for
something. I took it to heart, took action, trusting the obstacles are gone.
You say my negative parts love to see me tumble off the road, now I am
almost finished. I have a problem with differentness. Not in theory, but
the Negative State's wiring is effective in me. Deep down, I want to be
validated by others. Can I rise above the lie I need approval or support
or some like-minded group to belong to? Can I stop looking for places
that are safe? Am I too concerned if my writing will find acceptance by
others? You have been telling me that shouldn't be one of my worries.
You point out that although insecurity about values hangs over me as
a wet cloud, I was never tempted to follow or submit to others' ideas.
'You can dismiss it, but intuitively you searched for a spot where you
'could meet Me without relying on people's prescriptions. Yes, you're
'not brave in stating ideas, even right ones. You decide that can wait.
'Yet I say, I'm glad you got this far, not by looking over your shoulder
'or comparing with others' qualities. You flirted with this but didn't
'follow up on it. It's still not easy for you to see unmasking needs for
'conformity as evil and as a firm step to overall sanity. What I say
'you wondered about before. Yes, this component can give inklings
'of what My no-name-able stands for, as it embraces differentness
'while no workable correspondence or symbol for this 'face' exists.
'If there was, yes!, it would tell differentness is a condition for life.
'Respecting this when using My first name, you will honor the all-
'variety. It affirms that being different is eternally a splendid fact,
'though it can be life-threatening like in the case of the negative
'forces. Yet even those couldn't foresee that choosing differently
'would lead to their world eventually being 'phased out'; leave
alone that their choice-making will be universally flatly rejected.'
'What on any level is still negative, does reflect 'hells' isolation.
'It's the one occurrence that could lead to losing on'e's identity.
'Your 'obstacles' relate to you not trusting who you are to Me.
'Nothing can really get lost because of its earthly appearance.
'As being All Life, I can see Myself in you and in all, regardless!'
I feel pressured. Could this last part end in a climax?
'Holy' and harmony seem so related. On my mind is,
'Are You going to enlighten me in some special way?
Now You appear, there's this radiance. Your faces
are all there and seem to blend in that word Holy,
indicating Your fullness: consisting of everything.
Oh, I realize, what for me is mind-blowing,
is actually how You want it. It's urging me
to go overboard in portraying Your image.
You stress that on earth Our intimacy is
not in contrast with honestly wondering.
This duality is in happy healthy harmony.
In 'heaven' this's the same. You being All
radiates an attraction all in life treasure.
It's as love having a complete free hand.
'In their 'hell' humans fifth generation
'won't take My hidden side as beyond
'grasping. They keep trying to erase it.
'Your poor sense of time has you wish
'for some climax. Yet now, right here,
'is your day of triumph, a full climax:
'you sharing My fullness. No more
'loose ends in life. Your suffering the
'bad is like heaving after a birthing.
'Watch the cracks or pains, hidden
'or obvious. Harmony says, what's
'trying to disturb it will never last.
'Know that you and all are healed!'
It's so clear that closeness to You is first. Then follows
our reaction with naming You and saying Who You are
and who we are. Shall I again bring up how in 'heaven'
You are addressed? You laugh:
'Isn't it hard to ignore the isolation? You forget you
'are already here! Speaking is not, using words. It's
'exchanging messages of mind and heart. There is
'no use for confining vocal cords. All of you 'talks'.
'Harmony is not a sameness. It is love's visibility in
'all and everywhere; is one show of happy relating
'to Me and to each other. My first name One Holy
'guarantees that all is in place. Since My divine is
'purifying humanity, all in life is adding to being
''sacred'. You may dream of the heavenly beauty
'as golden, a priceless jewel, as overflowing with
'sounds and sights leading to deep contentment.
'The one Real Reality knows no opposite sides. All that is
'pulsates happily an aliveness and excitement. You are a
'part of it. And even while you are still isolated, you saw
'and see with your spiritual eyes My complete fullness.
'Your physical eyes can today see and enjoy signs of it.'
'At the moment, you're off-key in rhythms that carry the
'cosmos. All is distorted. Yet your mission is to illustrate
'how you cope and connect. I don't force Myself on you
'as you well know. You wanted to meet Me. If you want
'a word to call Me, use one that includes you yourself.
'Heaven' will join you. I seldom mention your name. I
'am in you as much as you are before and through Me.
'I know where and who you are. Believe Me, you fit in!
'It was given you to see Reality. Your effort to remove
'debris is paying off. So keep moving on. All horizons
'beckon you with their perfectly balanced welcome.'