Series: My 2021 Senior Year 

I'm going to write this stream-of-consciousness style because I think it really encapsulates my feelings of “senioritis” and the all-around lack of motivation that I have to complete this or any other assignment in my final two days of high school. 

Obviously, my senior year was a bit unconventional, being removed from the school entirely and attending fully remote, it's not unexpected that I don't really feel a connection to my class or the school in general. It almost feels like my last day of high school was last year, when the pandemic first began. 

It wasn't a bad senior year though, just a boring one. And boring often means peace and relaxation. That is how I would describe the majority of my senior year. However, sometimes boring means disappointment, and there are two prominent disappointments that stick out to me as I reflect now. 

The first major disappointment I experienced was the college application process. When I began applying for college I did not feel prepared. How could I have been when my junior year had gone unfinished, and through the summer I neglected any opportunity to visit any college campus. So, it's understandable that when the application point came around I did not feel the weight or excitement of the process. 

Throughout the application period I was being told by every media outlet and professional how strange this application process would be compared to years past, yet was given very little direction on how to navigate the changes. “Where should I apply?” “Should I submit my SAT scores?” “Should I write about how the pandemic has affected me?” 

This left me with a disconnect from the idea of college in general let alone any specific college. My application pool felt random and generic — hollow. 

Only after I had made my final college decision was I able to begin to feel the reality and excitement of it all. 

The second disappointment I experienced was the senior events. All the cool privileges I saw the seniors parade through the school in past years I obviously was not able to experience myself. Senior Assassin probably hurt the most to lose, because I had so much fun helping my older sister play in her senior year. 

The prom was also an event that I felt was an unfortunate loss. We did have an “alternative prom” but that pretty much came out to be a gym class in fancy clothes.  

But all that being said I did really enjoy my senior year. We got out of midterms and finals. School, in general, became a lot more manageable in an online format and I really appreciated not getting up at seven every morning to walk out in the bitter winter cold. 

And while I did lose a connection with my class, I still hung out with and talked to my friends. So it was a give and take but if I could do it over again without a pandemic I don’t think I would.