Hey Black sisters! My name is Danessy Auguste, I’m a senior at Norwood High and welcome to my first ever edition of Black Girl Talk! This is where I'm going to talk about the ups and downs of being the beautiful queens that we are no matter what shape, shade or size we are. I'm going to talk about all the different social aspects, issues and struggles we may go through being who we are. I hope you enjoy my column! 

When I was in preschool my mom picked me up one day and I remember asking her: “Mommy, why isn’t my hair like Jessica’s?” I was asking my mother why my hair wasn’t like the white girl with the straight blonde hair that I hung out with every day at recess. Which, hey, makes sense because I was one of three black people out of the whole private Christian preschool. It was only a matter of time until I starting asking questions. My mom answered back in Creole: “Sweetie because you’re not Jessica” which is still the most underrated thing my mom has ever said to me. 

At the time I didn’t understand or care that I was different. All I wanted was for my hair to be straight, down, and flowy just like the other girls. I didn’t even care if it was straight- it could be wavy or curly for all I cared. I was just in love with the idea of soft hair that could easily be put into a messy bun, or a ponytail. Or even how when you wash your hair it would just stay down and dry on its own and it’s still cute. 

My experience was much more time-consuming and expensive. You had to take the whole day to yourself to make sure you detangled your hair correctly, blow-dry, and twist, worry about shrinkage and buy many products to make sure that your hair was growing healthy. 

Also, it was honestly so annoying when my mom had to braid my hair every day for school every other night. She would try to be gentle cornrowing my hair, styling it and taking care of it but at the end of the day doing my hair was terrible for me because as a natural who had 4c hair that was coarser than usual I was tender-headed. It was annoying having to worry about what my hair looked like and I thought I had to make sure it looked as normal as possible so the other girls would talk to me.

I just knew from a young age that hair was a major part of someone's identity. I knew hair was just one of the very specific first things people noticed about you. So I was incredibly insecure about my hair all throughout my elementary and middle school career. 

I never accepted my hair until sophomore year of my high school career when I said to myself one night: “Danessy it's not that you don't like your hair it's that you don't know how to style it.” So that's immediately what I went out of my way to do. 

I immediately started YouTube-ing everything from cute puff styles to do with my type of hair to wash day routines that will ensure that my hair grew. I was so obsessed with my hair that I spent all my time going out of my way to use all my babysitting money to buy products to better take care of my hair. I browsed Pinterest all the time to look at hairstyles, hair hacks, and hair growth formulas. I learned a variety of new hairstyles that looked complicated but really only took 2 minutes. 

I took a part of myself that I couldn't control and put it in my control. Most importantly, even when there were days I didn't have time to style my hair and just showed up to school without it done I was still proud because I knew the value of my hair whether it was done or not.

Sophomore to Junior year I did my natural hair a lot and was very proud of the effort I put into my hair. Now as a senior I honestly just don't have 30 minutes to put aside every night as much to do my hair as much. However, I don't care.  I roll up to school in a messy poof every day, sometimes not even passing a brush through it because I know what my hair can do and I know that it is absolutely beautiful no matter what. 

If you don't feel comfortable with the hair you have as a natural then please experiment. Maybe if you just don't like your curls as much find a style that works for you. Say you don't want to do a puff anymore; OK, so learn different ways to spice up your puffs making them more curly at the end and having braids in the front for example.

If you don't feel like you have enough hair to do all this then go do your research to figure out styles for shorter hair, which I have done. I have 4c hair personally so every time I go on YouTube to search up cute new hairstyles or how to take care of your hair I make sure to type in the search bar “4c natural hair care….etc”. It's very important to know your personal hair type to make sure your hair is getting the right treatment. As we all know all black hair comes in all textures and lengths. I strongly suggest YouTube and Pinterest as resources. 

So, my natural haired Black ladies, I tell you this story to encourage you to remember that no one will respect and value what you don't even accept. At the end of the day if you can't accept what you have without others telling you they're OK, then you will never truly experience self-love which, in my opinion, is the best type of love. 

Another thing is, as Black women we have hair that not everybody will understand or care to understand and that's ok. No one needs a full explanation as to why you do what you do with your hair. We can't let people control what we think about our own hair. 

Having natural hair is a journey in itself, and a beauty not everyone on Earth will get to experience. It takes longer to do natural hair and it's harder to maintain but it's so unbelievably worth it. It's not a part of myself I would trade for anything in the world.

I hope you enjoyed my first column! If you’d like to share your own experiences with your hair or share an idea for my next column, please submit a letter to the editor.