Chapter 77: Sweet Confinement

It was after falling in love that she gradually sensed Zheng Zeyan’s interesting side. Before, he was dangerous and sexually attractive, maintaining an impeccable facade as a complete bad boy. But now, seemingly reformed, he himself didn’t know if he was good or bad. Occasionally wanting a little love, he was both arrogant and impatient, inadvertently revealing a hint of childishness. The way he was now, all he wanted was a... status.

The second battle in the civil court hadn’t begun, and Gao Yuan requested a postponement of the hearing due to physical discomfort. Not only that, but he also revealed the divorce to both sets of parents and relatives. WeChat messages flooded in like an explosion, asking Ou Jinghe why she was being so irrational. The rumors about Ou Jinghe’s inability to have children had been circulating for years, and every friend secretly mocked her for being a freeloader who didn’t work and just ran a dessert shop. Gao Yuan had torn up his own diagnosis of azoospermia as soon as he got it. Knowing that Ou Jinghe had a copy from the last court hearing, his current delay was simply to collect evidence of her marital misconduct.

And she, at this time, had unexpectedly started dating. When Zheng Zeyan appeared before her again, he was already her boyfriend, and he immediately gifted her a red diamond necklace. He was worried that Ou Jinghe would feel too burdened, yet he was also eager to give her proof of his feelings. His fingers trembled with nervousness as he opened the necklace box. But Ou Jinghe only placed the box on the bedside table at Zheng Zeyan’s place and didn’t bring it back to her rented apartment, which puzzled and angered him. Ou Jinghe’s reason was that the apartment building was too old and dilapidated, unsafe and unworthy of such a diamond.

Ou Jinghe was trapped in a sweet confinement. To avoid losing to Gao Yuan, she had to maintain evidence of her current “intactness” and avoid any glimmer of light that might seem like prying eyes. Zheng Zeyan, on the other hand, was truly in love and couldn’t wait to bring her into the daylight. He would cover her mouth and nose as she came out of the dessert shop, pretending to kidnap her, or suddenly hug her by the window, startling her with unease—never before had she been so afraid of being discovered; this time, it truly felt like an affair.

“What are you afraid of? This is the window on the fifty-second floor. Besides, you’re fully dressed, you straightened yourself up the second I came out,” Zheng Zeyan said, leaning against the bed. “I really didn’t expect that dating you would involve this clandestine act.”

Wearing only a silk nightgown, Ou Jinghe leaned against the bay window with one leg hooked up. Outside, it was People’s Park and Daimaru Department Store, and in the distance, someone was waiting on the helipad atop a tall building. She clutched her chest and bent down to reach for Zheng Zeyan’s shirt, draping it over her shoulders. “I sincerely want to be with you, but I can’t just leave with nothing without thinking—if I really had no money, would you still want me?”

“Do you know you have a huge flaw in your personality?”

“What?”

“You change your mind very easily. Last time you sang for me and the next day you wanted me to forget it. You agreed to date me but now you’re unwilling to show our IDs together, insisting on checking in first before coming up. This is a hotel, there are security cameras. If you’re really afraid of leaving evidence, why not just go to my place?”

It was Ou Jinghe’s turn to laugh. It was after falling in love that she gradually sensed Zheng Zeyan’s interesting side. Before, he was dangerous and sexually attractive, maintaining an impeccable facade as a complete bad boy. But now, seemingly reformed, he himself didn’t know if he was good or bad. Occasionally wanting a little love, he was both arrogant and impatient, inadvertently revealing a hint of childishness. The way he was now, all he wanted was a... status. She tossed the shirt onto the bed, covering Zheng Zeyan’s face. By the time he pulled it down, revealing his face, she had already hiked up her skirt halfway, the straps slipped off her shoulders. As night approached, the light and shadows cast by the downtown buildings shifted on her like flowing clouds. The blue light made her limbs appear snow-white. When Zheng Zeyan leaned closer, she could already sense a primal stirring in him.

Before meeting Zheng Zeyan, she had deliberately styled her hair in an old-fashioned way, curling it and then blowing it back, creating high volume at the crown, with the rest cascading down her neck and shoulders, revealing her beautiful neck and hairline, a part of her she had always been proud of. During their first meeting, Zheng Zeyan had liked to peck at her chest, but wanting to appear disdainful, he would suckle a few times and then pull her hair, turning her face towards him, his gaze full of playful manipulation. She had once tasted a constant craving that she was unwilling to voice, so she had thought of this method. Teasing him by the window, the cold marble pressing against her, she was about to flee to the bed when Zheng Zeyan grabbed one of her legs and pulled her back, pressing her against the icy windowpane. She cried out in panic. Before she could regain her senses, something in Zheng Zeyan’s hand had already slipped inside her. He smiled and said, “Indeed, when you wrote in Day Mode that you went from a dry lake to a tide, you meant this.”

She wouldn’t ask him what tricks he had played inside her body. Even though she now wanted to be held tightly, kissed, and then fiercely crushed, she wouldn’t say a word, only silently resentful in her heart. How many women had honed these masterful techniques? How many stories did he have that she didn’t know?

“If you want it, say so. I’ll take it out and put in what you want.”

Ou Jinghe didn’t speak. Zheng Zeyan tilted her face to the right with a mocking smile. “Look at yourself now.”

Why was there a long mirror by the bedside? Ou Jinghe saw her flushed face and lips and forcefully turned her head away. Zheng Zeyan wasn’t in a hurry either. He hoisted one of her legs onto his shoulder and reached for the glass of foreign wine by the window with his other hand. His wet tongue slid over her shoulder and chest, the wine tracing a curve down to her belly, where his hand intercepted it—he knew what she liked.

So, what exactly was inside her body?

Zheng Zeyan licked her lips, his hand supporting her head. “It’s not like I can’t live without you. If you really want me to leave now, it’s not impossible. Going back and forth is the most annoying. I’m not a toy for you to find amusement.”

She leaned weakly against the bay window, waiting for his favor was the most agonizing. But perhaps a small plea wouldn’t hurt. Zheng Zeyan was soft-hearted but not easily pushed around; maybe acting coquettish would work. She pressed her cold hand, which was gripping the marble, against his chest, deliberately losing her balance and trembling. “I’m cold.”

He finally agreed to lift her up and carry her to the bed. But the sum of her expectations was different from her imagination. He didn’t reach for a condom like last time, but instead took the round object from inside her body and put it in his mouth. He rolled it around with his tongue and smiled. He had thought it was some kind of toy from a dark corner, but the moment he kissed her, he bit it open and fed it to her. It was a grape, a round, seedless, sweet grape from the welcome platter, looking like a ruby bead under the light. The juice made her scalp tingle, and she bit down hard on his outstretched tongue. Yes, if the man in front of her was truly Ximen Qing, then she was that lustful woman who couldn’t bear loneliness and yet sought freedom.

And yet, she was无比快乐. The moment she saw him at the driving center, she had decided to go crazy. Hiding and dodging was simply to have a bit more dignity during the divorce. Since he had already made up his mind, why should she worry unnecessarily? When room service arrived, Ou Jinghe heard someone outside the door say, “Mr. and Mrs. Zheng, this is your ordered dinner, specially prepared scallops, pork ribs, and champagne by our chef. This is a complimentary special cocktail. Please enjoy your meal and have a good night.”

She saw the glimmer in Zheng Zeyan’s eyes, all because of that “Mr. and Mrs. Zheng.” Zheng Zeyan called her to get up for dinner, but she stubbornly refused, playfully asking him to come back to bed and keep her company. Wrapped in the quilt, she heard Zheng Zeyan say, “It’s like showering with a raincoat on and scratching an itch with boots on, the deepest feeling is always skin-deep.” She pretended not to understand, deliberately asking, “What do you mean?” Zheng Zeyan sighed and didn’t look at her, suddenly speaking to himself, “It’s not that I really want to force you into a difficult position, but you have to let me feel at ease. I’m not someone who can easily feel at ease.”

His face had gradually softened, no longer cold and condescending. Hearing these words made her heart ache. The longer the divorce dragged on, the less love she would receive, and she was such a greedy person. Ou Jinghe’s cold body pressed against his, feeling herself slowly warming up, only muffledly saying into the quilt, “If I really get pregnant one day, I’ll blame you.”

Just as she was scolding him, the phone rang. Sure enough, her parents, whom she rarely saw once a year, called to ask her to come for dinner. They had already received the news from Gao Yuan, and she knew how hysterical the scene would be in a while.

The car arrived downstairs, just as she ran into her parents doing Tai Chi downstairs. Her mother was a well-known Tai Chi instructor in the neighborhood, with a WeChat group of five hundred followers—the prestige that came with having nothing to do. She went upstairs with her parents, and her mother put on an apron. “There’s not much good food for lunch. How about some stinky tofu stir-fried with edamame?”

Once a year she saw her parents, and the meeting always involved stinky tofu stir-fried with edamame. Ou Jinghe sighed inwardly. “I want braised eel noodles, sweet and sour spare ribs, and fish ball vermicelli soup. Is that okay?”

“Then I’ll have to go downstairs to buy groceries.”

“I only come back once a year, is it that hard to ask you to make a few dishes? You knew I was coming back when I called, yet you didn’t bother to prepare. Do you really see me as a daughter who’s been married off and is now like spilled water?”

“Your dad will make the braised noodles.”

“I can wait. I’ll buy the ingredients, you don’t need to go downstairs.” Ou Jinghe lay lazily on the sofa and took out her phone, only to realize that even grocery delivery wasn’t available in this remote place. She sent a WeChat message to Yu Zhimei: “Are there any other apps that deliver groceries?”

Dating Zheng Zeyan was like fighting with bayonets; every time they parted, she was so exhausted she could fall asleep for a long time. She decided to lie on the sofa and close her eyes to rest, waiting for the groceries to arrive before she had to cook and boil noodles, giving her perhaps an hour or two of leisure time. Even with her eyes closed, she knew her parents would grill her about her current marital situation. Actually saying the word “divorce” now felt like having a good meal before dying.

Her father was very good at cooking. Her childhood hero was the father who used long chopsticks to pick up noodles in the storefront in his early years. The braised eel required her father to select thin eels, use a spoon to debone and scrape out the internal organs, then slice them into thin strips. One fish was cut into four sections, marinated until flavorful, then stir-fried and doused with hot oil. Eels were fierce with sharp teeth, and one had once bitten her father’s thumb. But because she liked it, her father would bring eels home every few days. Moreover, her father seemed to have endless patience with the braised eel, willing to wait ten minutes for it to marinate thoroughly. When she ate out, she could no longer taste that carefully marinated flavor.

When Ou Jinghe woke up again, she had her wish and ate the braised eel noodles. After mixing them, she hurriedly put them in her mouth. They weren’t very flavorful—indeed, the marinating step was missing, and her father wasn’t as meticulous with her as he used to be. Ou Jinghe felt a bit resentful and directly said, “I’m getting a divorce from Gao Yuan, why haven’t any of you reacted?”

“Because we thought you were joking. You can’t joke about something like this. Gao Yuan was almost crying on the phone.”

“Of course I’m serious about something like this.”

“What went wrong between you two? Let’s all sit down and talk seriously. Is it because you can’t have children? Let’s go to the hospital again, there might still be a chance.”

“A chance? Don’t you think Gao Yuan was joking when he said he’d take it to court?”

“You’ll be at a disadvantage in a lawsuit! Not being able to have children is your problem in the first place, plus you don’t work, so you won’t get much!”

Ou Jinghe laughed. Her parents thought the divorce was because Gao Yuan’s parents disliked her. Bringing up her past abdominal adhesions was pointless; her parents would think it was her bad luck and poor health, all her fault. Not mentioning the azoospermia was a final courtesy to Gao Yuan. She calmly finished her noodles. “He doesn’t love me anymore, and I don’t love him. What’s the point of forcing us to stay together?”

“Who has real feelings in the end? Even if you don’t have love, you have affection. You’ve been together for so long, you’re practically family.”

“Who taught you this? A TV drama?”

“Marriage is when two families come together, and divorce is when two families need to communicate well and make sure there are no disputes before divorcing.” Her father suddenly became serious. “Our family has what it has today because you married him, don’t forget that.”

“I know, and I’m going to take back what belongs to me.”

“Have you forgotten? We bought our house outright, and Gao Yuan not only helped us with the relocation compensation but also contributed two million. If you really divorce, don’t let him ask us for that money.” Her mother’s hand holding the chopsticks trembled slightly. “All my life I wanted to live in my own house, and I only achieved that at sixty. That two million can be considered a dowry in any case.”

Ou Jinghe almost burst out laughing. “That’s terrible. Gao Yuan directly transferred the money to the account back then, and the note clearly said ‘house payment,’ there’s no evidence it was a dowry.”

This startled her mother. “That’s awful! That’s why I told you not to divorce! How can a Shanghai girl be so clueless? If you really can’t live together, just live your own lives. Your father also had affairs before, love might be gone but affection remains. You were junior high classmates, you know each other inside out, why do you have to go as far as divorce?”

“Shanghai parents also dote on their daughters, so why is it that with you, I’m not as important as this house?”

Her father’s face flushed slightly. “Since your mother has already said it, there’s no point in hiding anything. Husband and wife need to understand each other. It’s normal to have some ups and downs in decades of marriage, but divorce means a complete break. Or should I say, have you also had an affair?”

Of course, Ou Jinghe wouldn’t be foolish enough to directly bring up Zheng Zeyan as a scapegoat. “Does divorce necessarily mean finding someone else? What kind of theory is that?” Speaking of this, she remembered something her mother had once said at a relative’s house—bare feet will get pricked, no matter what kind of shoes, put on a pair first—which apparently referred to marriage.

“Jingjing,” her mother used her childhood name, “This house wasn’t easy to come by. From birth until I married your father, I lived in a dilapidated house. Do you remember your grandmother’s house? The roof collapsed and the windows fell out before the relocation. I couldn’t sleep a full night. Now that I’m old, even if I die, I want to die in this house. You think divorce is freedom now, but once you’re divorced and have nowhere to live and no job, you’ll know how good your current life is.”

“It won’t happen, I’m still young.”

“You’re almost forty, can’t you be sensible!”

“Mom, it’s not that hard to admit you don’t love me. You’ve only loved yourself your whole life, just say it. Don’t always pretend to love me, it sounds so hypocritical when you worry about me. I’m your daughter, how can your first reaction when I’m in pain be to worry about your house? Is the house that important? I can buy you one, I have money.”

“Your money is Gao Yuan’s, are you stupid? Anyway, I don’t agree, you absolutely cannot divorce. If I had known you were this clueless when I gave birth to you, I wouldn’t have.”

“Okay, I understand. Sensible, considering the big picture, you’ve said it a hundred times.” Tears choked Ou Jinghe’s throat. “Everyone says Shanghai parents dote on their daughters, why can’t I ever feel you doting on me? You’re always dragging me down?”

Just as she finished speaking, her father reached out and slapped her across the face. “You’re really out of your mind!”

Ou Jinghe fled out of the apartment building, just as she received a text message from Yu Zhimei. Seeing the invitation, she suddenly smiled, mustered her courage, and called Zheng Zeyan. “Hey, boyfriend, Yu Zhimei invited us to Day and Night’s celebratory banquet, wanna go together?”