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Soohyun was about to subtly probe, wondering if his father had been caught in some kind of weakness.
“Father, did you perhaps... exchange something with the Chairman?”
“Exchange?”
“When you ask the Chairman for a favor, it’s not like she agrees without any conditions.”
“Ah. If it’s about that, don’t worry. It wasn’t about our business. I just pleaded a bit while talking about your mother.”
“Is that so.”
At Taehoon’s words, Soohyun’s tense face finally relaxed.
“...But what are you going to do with that child?”
Taehoon stopped Soohyun, who was turning away, once more.
“What do you mean, ‘what am I going to do’?”
“Your wife, I mean.”
“Once things are settled, she has to go back to her place.”
Hearing Soohyun’s words, a deep worry settled on Taehoon’s face.
“...Even if that child is pregnant?”
“I’ll have it removed.”
“What?”
Unable to imagine that Soohyun harbored such thoughts, Taehoon stared at Soohyun with a shocked expression.
“Re...remove?”
“Father.”
Soohyun straightened his posture and spoke to the stammering Taehoon.
“Taeseong will no longer have the tradition of succession passing to the eldest son of this Jung family.”
“Soohyun-ah.”
“It was you, wasn’t it, Father? The one who pushed Yoon Haein as my marriage partner.”
“That was...”
Taehoon couldn’t offer any particular reply to Soohyun’s questioning.
On the day he visited their alma mater with Haein, when he held her and suddenly recalled that he had supported her tuition in the past, Soohyun knew.
He knew that it was Secretary Seok who had handled that matter after receiving his call back then.
Since he had never made such personal requests before or after that, the assumption that Secretary Seok must have looked into Haein naturally followed.
Upon actually checking, the report came in that it was Secretary Seok who had strongly recommended Haein to Chairman Park, and it was Jung Taehoon who had lent weight to those words.
“I didn’t want you to live like me. So, I asked your mother. I begged her not to do it like she tormented Yeon-hee.”
“Did Chairman Park just listen and understand that?”
“Soohyun-ah. No matter how much you hate her, she’s your grandmother. She’s family.”
“Haa...”
Soohyun scowled, not wanting to hear any more of Taehoon’s words. But Taehoon didn’t stop talking.
“Soohyun-ah. I’m sorry. I was lost in my own grief and didn’t take care of you when you were young. I should have seen you, my young son, wandering after losing your mother and brother.”
Taehoon finished speaking and took a step towards Soohyun, reaching out his hand. But Soohyun stepped back, maintaining the distance between them.
“That’s in the past.”
“Soohyun-ah.”
“I’ll be going now.”
Soohyun cut off Taehoon, who seemed to be about to say something more, with a stern expression. Then, he bowed respectfully and turned away.
Thump, thump.
Soohyun’s footsteps filled the quiet room. He heard Taehoon muttering again behind him.
“Honey, why did you leave me behind? If I could go back, I would never... sob...”
Taehoon’s voice, mixed with sobs, stubbornly followed Soohyun’s back. Annoyed by the sound, Soohyun frowned deeply and hurried out of the columbarium.
***
Outside, Secretary Seok was standing in the same spot where he had greeted him earlier, smoking a cigarette.
“Secretary Seok. What did Father give to the Chairman?”
Soohyun asked, his face somewhat angry, but Secretary Seok replied calmly without changing his expression.
“There was nothing to worry about. Vice Chairman Jung persuaded her well.”
“That can’t be right.”
Seeing Soohyun’s persistent doubt, Secretary Seok lowered his voice and said,
“The Chairman’s health hasn’t been good recently.”
“Is that so. I should hurry things along then.”
Secretary Seok nodded, agreeing with Soohyun’s words.
Secretary Seok was also involved in the plan that Soohyun was carrying out, with Taehoon’s support.
If something happened to Chairman Park’s health, there was no telling what his uncle or aunt might do.
‘They’re devious people, they might already know.’
Soohyun considered questioning Secretary Seok about bringing Haein into Taeseong but stopped. Even if he questioned him now, nothing would change.
He didn’t know what means his father had used to buy time, but given the situation, it was the better choice to finish everything before Haein actually got pregnant.
The coexistence of conflicting desires: wanting to keep her by his side for a long time, yet also wanting to send her away as soon as possible.
His pathetic self, unable to take either side.
“Then I’ll be going now.”
Soohyun didn’t say anything more to Secretary Seok and walked towards his car. The warm May sunlight pierced through the light green leaves and poured down onto the road.
Looking at the bright sunlight, Haein naturally came to mind.
If he hadn’t called Secretary Seok back then, mentioning the scholarship, he would have never known about Yoon Haein.
Thinking about it, the actions he had taken for Haein had ultimately become the catalyst that drew her into Taeseong.
If he hadn’t lingered around her, hadn’t bothered giving her a scholarship, hadn’t interfered when that trashy senior bothered her...
No one would have connected Jung Soohyun and Yoon Haein.
If he had just watched her like a shadow without leaving any clues, would you have lived your life as beautifully as a flower? Would you have lived a better life than you are now?
“Haa...”
As his thoughts reached that point, a heavy pain, as if something was entangling his heart, struck his chest.
‘I’m sorry, Haein-ah.’
He repeated words he couldn’t bring himself to say to her, and when he reached the end of the road and was completely alone, he stopped walking. Then, standing on the sun-warmed road, he took out his phone. He wanted to hear Haein’s voice.
“Hello.”
Not long after he made the call, Haein’s voice came over the receiver.
“What are you doing?”
-I’m at the hospital. Is something wrong? I was surprised by your sudden call.
Since they didn’t usually call each other separately, Haein seemed quite taken aback. Soohyun, realizing how cold he had been all this time, couldn’t open his mouth easily.
“Just.”
-Just?
To Haein’s question, Soohyun finally uttered the words he had been hesitating over.
“I just wanted to hear your voice.”
Haein didn’t say anything for a moment after hearing Soohyun’s words.
“You sound busy, so I’ll see you later, then.”
The few seconds he waited for her reply felt like hours. Come to think of it, he didn’t think he had ever paid attention to Haein’s reactions before.
-Ah. Okay.
Soohyun felt awkward at her somewhat flustered voice. He felt embarrassed, wondering if he had done something unnecessary.
“I’ll hang up.”
-Wait, Sunbae!
Just as he was about to quickly hang up, Haein called out to him.
-Let’s meet at home later.
“Yeah. See you at home.”
Soohyun hung up and stood in the sunlight for a moment, savoring Haein’s last words.
Meet at home.
He quickly walked back to his car. He decided that he had to go home on time no matter what happened today.
***
Keeping his promise, Soohyun left work on time and hurried home.
He wanted to go home quickly and see Haein’s face. He wanted to confirm the existence of his wife, who always waited for him in the same place. He wanted to hold her hand and embrace her.
The road home was filled with excitement and anticipation, and his heart beat uncontrollably.
However, when he finally arrived home, Haein wasn’t there.
He sent her a message and received a reply that she had just left the hospital.
The feeling of his heart, which had been so excited and full of joy, sinking was instantaneous.
As Soohyun entered the darkened house as usual, he felt like he was walking into a cold and desolate cave.
And at the same time, he realized.
This was the feeling he had forgotten, the feeling he used to have every day before marrying Haein.
‘It was originally like this, I keep forgetting.’
Haein’s younger sibling’s health hadn’t been good lately, and Haein had also been coming home late occasionally. Conversely, Soohyun, who usually came home late at night, had come home early today.
Soohyun crossed the dark house with familiar steps and headed to the dressing room.
He was passing through the bedroom to change when the sight of the empty bed through the open door caught his eye. He stopped and sat down on the empty bed.
The sun had just set, and a red glow lingered between the distant buildings. Everywhere else was already dark, dyed by the night.
Darkness quickly enveloped all around.
Since he hadn’t turned on the lights, Soohyun was also sitting in the dark.
Sitting in the silence, his mood sank endlessly.
Only then did he suddenly remember that today was the day he had visited his mother’s columbarium. It was originally the most depressing day of the year, but he had completely forgotten about it, thinking only of seeing Haein.
Fifteen years ago today was the day Jung Soohyun had forgotten how to smile.
“Haa...”
As the forgotten gloom rose up, he was uncontrollably overcome by it.
A familiar feeling, as if someone was pressing down on his head and shoulders.
He felt like he could hear hallucinations from somewhere.
It felt like his brother was blaming him for still being alive, and he could hear his mother’s voice wailing that he shouldn’t forget their deaths.
Darkness always brought back things he usually forgot, tormenting him.
“Haaaa...”
Moisture clung to the end of his deep sigh. Soohyun bit his lip and closed his eyes, trying to quell the surging emotions in his chest.
***
In the car heading home, Haein kept recalling the image of her younger sibling she had seen before leaving the hospital room.
Jungin’s condition hadn’t been good lately. It felt like she was living with a time bomb that could go off at any moment.
She had always received emergency calls often, but not as frequently as recently.
Perhaps the time had really come to prepare her heart.
Her family hadn’t dared to say such things out loud, but whenever their eyes met, they exchanged resigned glances that seemed to say the inevitable was coming.
‘......Ever since she collapsed, I haven’t been able to have a proper conversation with her.’
Jungin’s time had stopped on that day seven years ago when she had collapsed.
Jungin, who had been a teenage girl, had greeted her twenties on the bed. On Jungin’s birthday when she became an adult, Haein had bought a single red artificial rose and placed it in her hand.
Whispering softly, “Congratulations on becoming an adult.”
Even then, she had thought that one day Jungin would wake up and walk again. But several more years had passed since then.
Now, Jungin spent more time with her eyes closed than open, and most of the time she was unconscious.
“Hmm...”
Letting out sigh after sigh, she suddenly looked out the window and realized she had already arrived home.
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