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By the time Shen Xiling returned to Fenghe Garden, it was nearly the end of the chou hour. The Lantern Festival had passed, but the weather remained bitterly cold. Frost clung to the stone steps of Qingji Mountain, and the chill seeped into her bones.
Yet, in that desolate late-night hour, a lone figure stood silently by the gates of Fenghe Garden. His shadow stretched long under the faintly swaying lanterns, mingling with the frosty night air. There was an unmistakable air of solitude about him.
As Shen Xiling drew closer, she recognized the man as Han Feichi.
She was surprised and called out, “Lord Han.” She then asked why he was waiting outside Fenghe Garden so late at night, wondering if something had happened. She invited him inside.
But Han Feichi shook his head. At this moment, his expression as he looked at Shen Xiling was somewhat complex.
After a long silence, he finally clasped his hands together and said, “Thank you, Lady Shen. I’ll remain here.”
Shen Xiling was puzzled. He didn’t seem to be dealing with any pressing matter, so she guessed he might have come to visit Qi Yin. She invited him in again, but he steadfastly declined, only asking about Qi Yin’s injuries.
She sighed and replied, “It was a near miss—a matter of life and death.”
Han Feichi seemed to flinch, his expression momentarily freezing. After a pause, he asked, “…And Cheng? Is he alright?”
Shen Xiling answered, “Cheng is unharmed. His father shielded him from the blade.”
Han Feichi nodded, seemingly relieved, then fell silent again. After a while, he told Shen Xiling, “Lady Shen, please go inside. Don’t catch a chill.”
Shen Xiling realized he had no intention of entering tonight and decided not to press further. She nodded to him and turned to step into Fenghe Garden.
Just then, he called after her. Shen Xiling turned back to see his face partially obscured by the dim lantern light, appearing distant and indistinct.
He seemed hesitant, which was rare for someone like Han Feichi, known for his eloquence.
Shen Xiling waited in the increasingly biting cold until he finally spoke: “Cheng possesses remarkable talent, understanding ten things from hearing just one. Please, Lady Shen, ensure his education does not falter.”
After saying this, he bowed deeply to her.
The words themselves were innocuous, but they carried a tone of farewell. Shen Xiling furrowed her brow, unsure how to respond, an ominous feeling rising in her heart.
In the end, she said nothing, merely nodding again to Han Feichi. The gates closed behind her, and she could no longer see him.
Shen Xiling hurried back to Huaijin Courtyard to see Qi Yin.
The night was quiet, perfect for reflection. In those few short steps, Shen Xiling suddenly pieced together some truths.
The events of tonight… perhaps there was more to them than met the eye.
Han Feichi was a meticulous and efficient man. Under his governance, the Ministry of Justice had remained stable all these years. Today was the Lantern Festival, a critical time when it was impossible for the Ministry of Justice not to anticipate potential chaos. Now, both Empress Dowager Fu Rong and the young emperor were weak, and even with the support of old ministers, they couldn’t completely evade the watchful eyes of the Ministry of Military Affairs and the Ministry of Justice. How could they orchestrate such a large-scale assassination attempt using the lotus lantern?
There was someone behind them.
Was it Han Feichi? Had he deliberately facilitated the plot for Empress Dowager Fu Rong’s faction? Or… was he the mastermind himself?
Thinking back to Han Feichi’s earlier words, which carried the weight of a final goodbye, Shen Xiling felt a sudden wave of panic. She couldn’t help but run, wanting to reach Qi Yin immediately.
She had to protect him… whoever betrayed him, she would stand in their way.
She rushed into Huaijin Courtyard, only to find a scene of tranquil peace:
A single lamp burned in the room, neither too bright nor too dim. Qi Yin had already awakened and was sitting up against the headboard, wrapped in a robe. For some reason, Cheng had entered and was now asleep in his father’s arms. Qi Yin gently patted the child’s small shoulder, his expression particularly tender in the lamplight.
He heard her enter, raised his gaze to her, his eyes warm, and gestured for her to be quiet, prompting Shen Xiling to instinctively soften her footsteps.
Her heart suddenly grew calm, the earlier panic dissipating, leaving only a lingering warmth.
She tiptoed to the bedside and sat down. Through the slightly open collar of his robe, she saw his wound had been bandaged neatly, though his complexion remained pale, worrying her. She wanted to ask why he was sitting up, why he wasn’t resting properly. But as she looked down, she saw Cheng’s sleeping face still wet with tears, his eyes red.
The child must have been very frightened. Likely, he had come to check on his father out of concern, and upon seeing the boy cry, Qi Yin naturally comforted him.
Shen Xiling sighed inwardly, exchanged a glance with Qi Yin, and then went outside to call Shuipei in. As she left, Cheng stirred slightly, murmuring “Father” and “Mother” in his sleep, tugging at her heartstrings.
Good child… how much must he have worried about them?
Seeing this, Shen Xiling felt an inexplicable pang of sorrow and guilt. She gently kissed Cheng’s little face and finally let Shuipei carry him away.
She had something to discuss with Qi Yin—something the child couldn’t overhear.
Once Shuipei closed the door, only she and Qi Yin remained in the room. She sat by the bed, watching his pale face, tears welling up in her eyes. At that moment, she desperately wanted to throw herself into his arms, to have him comfort her as he did Cheng. But she had something heavy weighing on her mind, something so burdensome that she couldn’t bring herself to seek solace from him.
She feared that Han Feichi had truly betrayed him, and if he learned the truth…
…how much pain would it cause him?
Han Feichi was one of the few friends he had left.
She suddenly didn’t know how to begin.
But Qi Yin was always someone who wouldn’t let her struggle. It was as if he always knew what troubled her and found ways to ease her burden whenever she needed it most.
To her surprise, he was the one who spoke first: “Did you see Zhongheng outside?”
Shen Xiling was startled. Seeing his composed expression, as if he saw through everything, she felt a bit lost and dumbly nodded, asking, “…You knew?”
“Of course,” he coughed softly, his face still pale, but his gaze serene, exuding calmness. “After I woke, the servants informed me.”
Shen Xiling blinked and asked, “…You didn’t let him in?”
“It wasn’t that I refused to let him in,” he smiled faintly, then gently took Shen Xiling’s hand. “But he knew it wasn’t appropriate for him to enter.”
The meaning behind these words ran deep, causing Shen Xiling’s heart to skip a beat. She hesitated, almost unwilling to believe, and asked, “So he really… intended to kill you?”
Her hand trembled slightly.
It was partly due to the cruel truth behind it all, but also because… she sensed Qi Yin’s position in all of this.
Qi Yin felt her fear and gripped her hand tighter. However, having lost a lot of blood tonight, his hand was cool, unlike its usual warmth. Only his tenderness remained unchanged.
He gently smoothed her slightly disheveled hair, his voice low as he said, “He wasn’t aiming to kill me.”
Just those seven words fully enlightened Shen Xiling.
Han Feichi wasn’t targeting Qi Yin… but her and Cheng.
He must have known about Empress Dowager Fu Rong and the old ministers’ plans tonight and covertly allowed the Ministry of Justice to facilitate them. He might have even mediated to prevent the Ministry of Military Affairs from intervening. Shen Xiling recalled that before they went to view the grand lotus lantern, an official had approached Qi Yin and called him away. Perhaps that was Han Feichi’s arrangement—he deliberately ensured Qi Yin didn’t go to see the lantern, sparing him harm while ensuring she and Cheng would be the ones killed.
Her hand trembled more violently. As a mother, her greatest fear was losing her child. She couldn’t bear to imagine what would happen if Cheng had been harmed tonight. She…
She shakily asked him, “Why would he do this?”
What did Han Feichi gain by killing her and Cheng? If he sided with Empress Dowager Fu Rong and the old ministers, then he had no reason to protect Qi Yin—Qi Yin should have been their primary target. And if he stood by Qi Yin’s side, why would he harm her and Cheng?
She couldn’t understand.
Amidst her confusion, she heard Qi Yin’s sigh. She looked up at him and saw a profound weariness in his eyes—the kind that comes from seeing through the world.
“Wen,” he said gravely, “Some people may walk part of the road with you, but they cannot accompany you for a lifetime.”
He was referring to Han Feichi.
Had Han Feichi been loyal to him? Perhaps. After all, he had once betrayed his own elders to aid Qi Yin’s cause, willingly forsaking his family’s prestigious status and risking his life for him.
But he also had his own path—Qi Yin knew this. Han Feichi always hoped Qi Yin would kill Xiao Yizhao and eventually ascend the throne himself.
That wasn’t what Qi Yin wanted.
His life had been weighed down by political machinations. He viewed the glittering court as a killing swamp and an iron prison. He didn’t want to remain there or achieve any so-called great cause. His sole wish was for the nation to prosper, for the country to reform its ills, and for people to no longer suffer displacement… That was all.
But Han Feichi wanted him to achieve greater feats—to reclaim lost territories, unify the land, and personally create a golden age.
Their paths had diverged.
Han Feichi knew Qi Yin had no intention of killing Xiao Yizhao and was genuinely nurturing the boy, hoping he would grow into a wise ruler to whom power could eventually be restored. This was the last thing Han Feichi wanted. He hoped Qi Yin would harden his heart and kill the young emperor and empress dowager. What could provoke Qi Yin to take such drastic action?
Only if they touched his deepest vulnerabilities.
Think about it—if Empress Dowager Fu Rong had truly killed Shen Xiling and Qi Cheng, how would Qi Yin react? Even if he later learned Han Feichi orchestrated everything, he would still never forgive the empress dowager and young emperor. He would abandon the last remnants of his compassion and become a true demon.
Only then could he reach unparalleled heights.
Shen Xiling understood the logic behind it all but felt even more confused.
She couldn’t comprehend Han Feichi’s actions—so obsessive, so mad. And what would he gain? Even if Qi Yin ascended the throne and became the ruthless figure Han Feichi envisioned, what benefit would Han Feichi reap?
He would gain nothing…
What shook Shen Xiling even more was this—Qi Yin seemed to have known all along.
Shen Xiling trembled more violently, looking at Qi Yin in disbelief, her eyes wavering as she asked, “…You’ve known all along?”
You’ve known all along?
You’ve known what Han Feichi planned to do, what Empress Dowager Fu Rong and the young emperor were plotting, what would happen tonight?
Is that true?
Qi Yin had indeed known—from the day Xiao Zitang died five years ago.
He had been Xiao Zitang’s companion since childhood, familiar with his nature after years of friendship and enmity. He knew Xiao Zitang would never commit suicide, even if he lost everything. He would lie low like a venomous snake, biding his time, never ending his life easily.
He was murdered.
So, who killed him?
Qi Yin suspected Han Feichi at the time. But without evidence and curious about Han Feichi’s intentions, he pretended ignorance about the late emperor’s murder over the years, feigning trust in Han Feichi and even entrusting Cheng’s upbringing to him.
In reality, he had been secretly observing Han Feichi’s actions all along.
He knew Empress Dowager Fu Rong had never given up her ambitions and was quietly rallying old ministers to revolt—a significant threat to the Great Liang dynasty. He had to eliminate this malignant tumor.
And if he were to act, he needed a justified reason.
What better pretext than being ambushed during the Lantern Festival? He could use this opportunity to round up the conspiring old ministers, bringing temporary stability to the court and allowing the nation to improve.
Thus, he chose to play along: letting Empress Dowager Fu Rong believe he was unaware of her plans and letting Han Feichi think his diversion succeeded. In reality, he had planned to turn the tables, returning at the critical moment to save his wife and son while publicly appearing injured.
Two birds with one stone.
But this was something Shen Xiling couldn’t accept.
Heaven knows the anguish she endured tonight. She was so terrified, so heartbroken. When the assassins emerged from the lanterns, she thought Cheng would die. When Qi Yin was injured, his blood staining her clothes, she feared she would lose him.
She was driven nearly mad with grief, even contemplating killing Empress Dowager Fu Rong and the young emperor with her own hands to quell her sorrow and anger.
But now, she was told… he had known all along.
Shen Xiling completely collapsed. Her emotions surged even more intensely than before, anger consuming her. She wanted to grab a sword and slash at Qi Yin!
Furious, she confronted him, demanding, “How could you do this! How… how could you be so selfish! You only think about your grand schemes, but did you ever consider me, consider Cheng! What if something went wrong? What if the child got hurt? What if we all died? Even if no one was injured, do you know how heartbroken I was? When I saw you fall, I thought you were dead! I wanted to slit my throat and follow you! How could you deceive me like this, you…”
She couldn’t continue, as Qi Yin pulled her into a tight embrace.
He had suffered severe injuries and shouldn’t have made such a strenuous movement. But at that moment, he didn’t care, only focusing on holding his little girl close, even if it meant reopening his wound.
Blood flowed freely from his reopened wound, but he seemed oblivious, or perhaps the pain paled in comparison to the weight of Shen Xiling’s tears.
Only her sorrow could burn him.
He held her tightly, explaining, “There wouldn’t have been any accidents. I arranged for many people disguised as civilians to protect you and Cheng. They would never let harm come to you.”
“This wound I had to endure. There were too many underlying connections. Rather than dragging it out slowly, it was better to seize this opportunity to settle everything at once—I didn’t want you and Cheng to face more danger. Today was the perfect chance.”
He understood her so well, knowing exactly how to earn her forgiveness. He repeatedly berated himself in her ear, exaggerating his faults and mistakes, making her feel sorry for him.
He… he was so cunning.
He was clearly exploiting her—exploiting her deep love for him, exploiting her pity for his pain.
Rationally, Shen Xiling knew Qi Yin hadn’t done anything wrong. She knew he was thorough and prioritized her and Cheng’s safety above all else. Even if something happened to him, he would ensure they remained unharmed.
But that didn’t stop her from being angry!
Shen Xiling was consoled for a long time. Though her anger subsided slightly, resentment lingered. She still scolded him, accusing, “Even so, you should have at least told me everything beforehand, so I wouldn’t be left clueless like a fool!”
Her accusation was entirely reasonable. On the surface, Qi Yin humbly agreed and apologized repeatedly. In truth, however, he thought that even if given another chance, he still wouldn’t say a word.
It wasn’t that he didn’t trust her. Besides rooting out the remnants of the old ministers, his plan tonight had another, more important purpose—one he knew she would never agree with.
—He wanted their Cheng to grow up sooner.
Cheng’s life had been too smooth. Born with everything, showered with endless love, his view of the world was one of prosperity and beauty, devoid of deceit, slaughter, ruin, or sorrow.
But that wasn’t the truth of this world.
As a father, he could protect him, but what if he wasn’t around anymore?
Cheng would eventually face this brutal world alone, and as his child, he was destined to bear more storms than others.
He needed to experience trials and suffering early on, to realize that his father couldn’t protect him forever. He needed to see that the ground he stood on wasn’t covered in flowers but riddled with thorns.
—He had to first become someone wielding the knife before deciding whether to pick it up or lay it down.
This was the path Qi Yin himself had walked.
Qi Yin thought far ahead, farther than anyone else. He still believed Xiao Yizhao could be nurtured into a wise ruler and that power could eventually be restored to him. This way, he could be free, and so could his descendants. But he also prepared for the worst-case scenario: if conflict proved unavoidable, he wanted their Cheng to be invincible.
Let him become the most bitter, most ruthless person, and then… speak of compassion.
These thoughts were impossible to share with Shen Xiling. She loved their child so dearly—how could she bear for him to endure such hardships at such a young age?
But fate gave him no choice. He had to proceed regardless.
At this moment, after being gently consoled by Qi Yin for nearly half an hour, Shen Xiling’s mood had calmed somewhat. Though she still harbored resentment, she was willing to discuss practical matters with him again.
She expressed her concerns, asking Qi Yin, “What about Han Feichi? What will you do with him?”
Upon hearing this, Qi Yin raised an eyebrow and teasingly tapped her nose, asking, “Didn’t you call him ‘Lord Han’ earlier? Why are you addressing him by name now?”
Shen Xiling wrinkled her nose and frowned, indignantly replying, “He plotted against Cheng and tried to force you into doing what you didn’t want. Why should I still address him respectfully?”
Her words were impassioned and filled with righteous indignation.
Qi Yin was amused by her and couldn’t resist kissing her eyelashes lightly. He said, “Mm, you’re right.”
Hearing this, Shen Xiling couldn’t help but feel a bit satisfied and huffed smugly. Later, she pressed him again: “You still haven’t said what you plan to do with him.”
Qi Yin hugged her, sighed deeply, and said, “Lately, Yingzhou has been quite unstable. I’m considering sending him there to oversee matters. What do you think?”
Yingzhou?
It was a remote, southern wilderness. Sending Han Feichi there was essentially akin to exile.
He wasn’t taking his life, but he wouldn’t keep him close either.
Shen Xiling was at a loss for how to feel.
After learning the truth, she harbored immense hatred for Han Feichi for targeting her son, believing he deserved a thousand deaths. But upon hearing that Qi Yin intended to send him to Yingzhou… her feelings grew complicated.
It wasn’t pity for Han Feichi but rather… concern for Qi Yin.
She knew that Qi Yin valued Han Feichi deeply, regarding him as a friend. Cutting ties with him was akin to severing his own arm. Though he didn’t say it, his heart must ache terribly.
Around him… there weren’t many people left.
Qi Yin clearly saw the sympathy in Shen Xiling’s eyes at that moment. Without saying another word, he simply embraced her again.
Yes, he had lost many things. Walking this path, he was nearly alone.
The southern wilderness was harsh. Han Feichi’s journey there might cost him his life. Even if he survived, they would never meet again.
He felt the pain keenly—an unspoken sorrow. He thought no one would notice, but Shen Xiling saw through him as she always had—just like when they were children, she could easily glimpse his innermost thoughts.
No blame for his ruthlessness, no reproach for his cruelty.
Only pity for his pain.
Qi Yin wasn’t someone prone to self-pity, but occasionally, he felt life’s hardships acutely, especially when thinking about what he had lost. He couldn’t help but sigh.
But every time he felt this way, he thought of her.
That stubborn little girl who always gazed at him tenderly, who persistently ran to him, who loved him with such sorrow.
She was still by his side.
Despite the twists of fate, despite life’s adversities, despite his lifelong unfulfilled desires.
She hadn’t left.
And so, he gradually came to understand.
Truly, he had already gained.
…His heart’s longing.
(End of the Book)
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