#14: I Love You More Than You Love Me

1

In the morning, after getting up, I opened my favorite playlist, and soothing melodies drifted out of the speakers. I pulled back the curtains and glanced at the autumn sunlight, letting the music and warm sunshine flow through my heart. Suddenly remembering something, I said to Lin Zhiyi, “I really like the golden valleys of Cappadocia bathed in sunlight; those colors feel so warm.” “Still thinking about poetry and distant places?” he asked. “No, I just remembered that I bought a piece of clothing in the same color as the valley last night. Can you pay for it for me?” “...” Lin Zhiyi’s expression froze for a moment. But I couldn’t hide my smile because it was rare for him not to anticipate my next words. “I thought you were being poetic, but instead, you’re all about shopping,” he laughed.

“How do you want to respond to me?” I smiled at him.

“One word—buy!” he said without hesitation.

2

When I got home from work and wanted to kiss Lin Zhiyi, he turned his face away. “Why are you dodging?” I asked. “My mouth feels bitter today; I drank too much at the class reunion last night,” he said. “It’s okay, I just ate some candy.” As I spoke, I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. After kissing him, I asked, “How does it feel now?” He looked blissful and said, “So sweet!”

3

I usually wear skirts to work and rarely wear pants... uh, long pants.

But recently, after watching Misty , I became fascinated by Gao Huilan and felt that women look particularly dashing and cool in pantsuits! So, I bought a few pairs of trousers. After trying on a pair of wide-leg pants and checking myself in the mirror, I felt pretty good about them. I told Lin Zhiyi, “Wide-leg pants are my new favorite this year.” He looked at me and said, “Since it’s hard to make your legs thinner, it’s easier to make the pant legs wider, making your legs appear slimmer.” Then he added, “‘Mom doesn’t have to worry about my elephant legs anymore.’” “….” Ouch, that hit hard.

4

I was reviewing manuscripts at my desk when Lin Zhiyi brought over a plate of sliced apples. “Here, take a break and get some vitamin C,” he said. “Thank you, honey.” “You’re such a cutie here!” he said, poking me with his finger. Unfortunately, his finger landed right on the cat pattern on my sweater. Feeling that the atmosphere wasn’t suitable for serious work, I said, “If you want to praise me, don’t touch me.” “Where did I touch you? I’m playing with the kitty.” He said seriously. “...” Is it my fault for wearing a sweater with a cat pattern?

5

I was washing my face in the bathroom when my phone rang in the bedroom. Lin Zhiyi handed it to me. My face was full of foam from the facial cleanser, but when I swiped my finger across the screen, the Face ID unlocked surprisingly. After handling the phone matters, I said, “I didn’t expect the phone to recognize me even with foam on my face.” “This shows that ‘your beauty runs deep into your bones,’” Lin Zhiyi said. In front of the mirror, even the foam from the facial cleanser couldn’t hide the smile on my face. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, isn’t it? Whether plump or slim, beauty comes in many forms.

6

Whenever I wear a necklace and Lin Zhiyi is around, I always ask him to help put it on for me. Especially with Chokers, which need to fit snugly around the neck. This time, when I asked Lin Zhiyi to help me put on a Choker, he said, “Are you going to wear a dog collar again?” “This is called a Choker; it’s fashionable!” I explained. “All I know is that when you wear this, I become your master.” “Who’s whose master?” I asked. “You’re my master,” he quickly corrected himself. “That’s more like it.” I smiled contentedly. Similarly, before bed, I needed Lin Zhiyi to help remove the Choker. He came over and said, “You need to tilt your head back so I can take it off.” So I tilted my head back. Unexpectedly, his kiss suddenly landed on my lips. “...” I was caught off guard once again.

7

When taking ancient costume photos for Xinbao, Lin Zhiyi and I also took a few shots. Surprisingly, Lin Zhiyi looked very good in ancient costumes.

When I showed the photos to my friends—

A said, “Brother-in-law looks so handsome! He reminds me of Huang Xuan!” B said, “I think ancient costumes suit Brother-in-law well; he looks like Chen Xiao!” C said, “Regardless of who he looks like, he’s very handsome!” I suddenly felt puzzled. When I was in college, Yu Qiao said Lin Zhiyi’s smile resembled Ho Run Dong because it was so sunny; Sister Shishi said Lin Zhiyi looked like Bae Yong-joon because he was gentle and had a neat set of white teeth when he smiled. Lin Zhiyi himself didn’t care about these comments and continued to be happy being himself. One night, I stared at his face for a long time. He said, “We’re old married folks now. Why are you staring at me for so long?” I said, “I’m trying to figure out who you look like.” He replied, “Who else could I look like? I look most like your husband!”

8

Before going to bed, I asked Lin Zhiyi, “Honey, do you know what I love most about you?” “Interesting?” he asked. “No, what I love most is that you only love me.” From recent news, I found that there aren’t many men who devote themselves to loving one woman, while there are plenty of men with many ‘good sisters.’ This made me feel that Lin Zhiyi is a rare gem. “I love two things about you.” He hugged me, wrapping his arms around my chest. “...” My face turned red. “You’re making me blush.”

“What’s there to be shy about? I love you more than you love me.”

“Huh? Are you referring to these two points?”

“What else?”

“...” I won’t tell you, otherwise it’d seem improper.

9

Occasionally, I flip through the books I’ve written. One day, while reading You Are My Ideal , vivid scenes of Lin Zhiyi and me walking through countless mountains and rivers came flooding back. Seeing detailed descriptions of the scenery, it felt like revisiting those places; and reading our dialogues, I couldn’t help but smile. Lin Zhiyi asked why I still smiled while reading my own book. I said, “Because you can never hide your essence as a jokester! By the way, I realized that when I write our stories, I handle the elegance, and you handle the humor. Does this mean we achieve a balance between highbrow and lowbrow?” “I don’t know whether to cry or laugh,” he said helplessly. “What I mean is, I handle refined descriptions, and you handle mundane jokes.” I explained. “Anyway, your high culture can’t do without my low culture.” Now it was my turn to not know whether to cry or laugh.

10

One evening after leaving the gym, on the way home, we passed a mobile snack stall.

Under the warm yellow light, the vendor was making pancakes, and the aroma wafted over, making me suddenly feel hungry.

But thinking about my efforts at the gym, I managed to suppress my appetite.

When I got home, I said to Lin Zhiyi, “Just now, on the way, I saw someone making pancakes. They smelled so good, and I really wanted to eat them. But fearing that my efforts at the gym would go to waste, I restrained myself. Honey, how’s my self-control? Praise me!”

Lin Zhiyi said, “I’ll give you a thumbs-up.” The next morning, while brushing my teeth and washing my face in the bathroom, Lin Zhiyi returned after sending Xinbao to school. “I bought you a jianbing guozi (Chinese crepe). Hurry up and finish your business so you can eat it before it gets cold.”

He said this from the doorway. “Was it from that mobile shop in the neighborhood?” I asked. “No. That place wasn’t open yet this morning, so I went to the specialty jianbing store across the street from Xinbao’s school.” Just like that, involuntarily, a feeling of happiness enveloped me like the warm winter sun. Life is full of unexpected events, but the man I chose always exceeds my expectations with his kindness.