FYM - 111

The next day was a rest day, so there was no need for an early court session. Song Shuyan also slept in until late morning, which was rare for her.

She had indulged too much the previous night, drinking several cups of wine and becoming half-drunk by the time she left the waterside pavilion. In her hazy state, she leaned against his shadow, and he didn’t move. Only when the moonlight shifted and their shadows were about to part did he subtly sit closer to her, making her increasingly believe that none of this was coincidence.

…What did this mean?

Was he comforting her? Because she had lost control that night in Yangzhou, was he afraid she would collapse, so he came to console her?

Or…

She sighed, pulling the brocade quilt tighter around her under the cover of the heavy bed curtains. Memories from the previous night resurfaced—his deep purple sleeves appearing in her peripheral vision, his slightly bent waist as he personally poured wine for her, the subtle gaze he cast on her as she picked up a piece of fish jerky with her chopsticks… Every detail, every moment—it seemed he still remembered everything even though they were estranged. That person was like a dream of spring rivers and flowers under the moon, still leaving her yearning and restless at night.

She wasn’t a teenager anymore… How could she be so pathetic?

She silently scolded herself and, upon getting up, tried hard to discard these lingering thoughts. As she dressed and applied makeup, Xixiu entered the inner chamber to report that the Colonel had personally sent a hangover remedy before going off duty, instructing the Empress Dowager to take it early. The palace maids around her praised the deep bond between the Colonel and the Empress Dowager. However, Song Shuyan knew her second brother had been on duty last night and had no time to arrange these trivial matters. The hangover remedy wasn’t from him; it was just delivered under his name.

Fang Xianting…

She closed her eyes, the ripples in her heart stirred again after just calming down.

The affairs of the court were complex and did not give her much time to carefully consider the increasingly ambiguous relationship between her and that man. With the special examination approaching, she needed to focus on more important matters.

After the court session the next day, she summoned Grand Tutor Chen Meng alone and frankly asked him to take on the role of chief examiner. His gaze toward her was somewhat subtle, and then he bowed, saying: “I am greatly honored and humbled by Your Majesty’s trust, but I know my abilities are limited and may not satisfy everyone. Perhaps it would be better to ask Lord Song…”

Song Shuyan understood he was testing her intentions, but she had no intention of beating around the bush. She directly said: “The late emperor entrusted all of you with great responsibilities before his passing to pave the way for the young emperor. My request today is also to prepare for returning power in the future. Grand Tutor, please do not hesitate.”

The straightforwardness of her words was beyond Chen Meng’s expectations. Then, he heard the Empress Dowager soften her tone and continue: “You are well aware of the current situation in the court. For the prosperity and harmony of our nation, we cannot show favoritism. By selecting talents for the Emperor, you are serving Great Zhou loyally. I hope you will not decline.”

First mentioning “returning power” and then “fairness,” she indeed laid everything out before Chen Meng. This minister’s expression changed slightly, showing some emotion, and when he looked up at her again, his eyes were warmer.

“To select talents for the country is a weighty responsibility, and setting standards is the most difficult part,” he sighed deeply, his tone still profound. “There are many talented people across the land, each excelling in different areas. But whom does Your Majesty wish to select?”

Upon hearing this, Song Shuyan smiled faintly, feeling as if she were answering an essay question. Fortunately, she had already thought through this issue thoroughly and now replied calmly: “The revival of the nation must come through new policies. Only those who shun empty titles can be the pillars of the state. I need them to be independent individuals, yet overconfident.”

Hearing this, Chen Meng nodded approvingly, his eyes showing some admiration and relief. After a moment, he bowed deeply and respectfully said: “If that is the case, I understand how to proceed.”

The next day, the Empress Dowager issued a special decree appointing Grand Tutor Chen Meng as the chief examiner for the special examination. The court and the public were astonished, and discussions were rife among various families.

The Jinling faction was naturally dissatisfied, puzzled why the Empress Dowager chose an outsider instead of someone closer. The Luoyang faction was mixed with joy and worry. They felt Chen Meng was always neutral, and having him as the chief examiner would be fairer than anyone from the Song family. However, they worried he might have been bought by the Empress Dowager, appearing impartial on the surface but secretly working to benefit the Song clan. Thus, the situation became ambiguous, and all parties decided to wait and see rather than rush to judgment.

The Fang clan’s attitude towards this matter was relatively calm. Military families weren’t closely related to scholars or jinshi degree holders. Their concern was whether the current Empress Dowager could command respect. If the results caused unrest in the court after being announced, it would be problematic. Now, hearing she had chosen Chen Meng over Song Dan as the chief examiner, they indeed felt a slight relief.

“In the past, I always thought the current Empress Dowager was young and, being a woman, would inevitably rely on her maternal family. Now, it seems she understands the gravity of the situation and discerns right from wrong,” remarked former Minister of War Fang Lian, who had retired, while discussing with his younger relatives behind closed doors. His tone carried three parts praise and seven parts lamentation. “Changren has always been fair and reliable. He surely won’t disappoint her earnest efforts.”

The Fang clan’s descendants all agreed, except for Fang Xianting, who sat in the main seat without uttering a word. On closer inspection, his brows were slightly furrowed, clearly harboring hidden concerns.

—Of course, he knew she was intelligent and decisive. Despite the complex affairs of the court, she could surely analyze and resolve them clearly. Appointing the Grand Tutor as the chief examiner for this special examination was indeed prudent. However, alienating the Song family might not be a good thing. After all, they were her maternal family, and besides him, they were her strongest support.

He understood the deep rift between her and her father, and years of accumulated grievances couldn’t be resolved overnight. But compared to these rights and wrongs, he valued her safety more. He couldn’t always stay by her side; there would be times he had to leave the court for battles. The chaos of the palace coup at the beginning of the year must not be repeated. Every additional person willing to fight for her brought him peace of mind.

“Our family’s affairs, doesn’t Brother Three know?”

After her birthday celebration that night, Ziqiu accompanied him out of the palace and sighed while discussing with him along the way.

“The mistress has always treated her harshly, and because of Lady First’s matters, Father has a strained relationship with her. Not long after Brother Three left Jiangnan, she had a falling-out with the family… Later, entering the palace to become empress was also forced by the family. How could she still view them as kin?”

“Besides, she constantly reminisces about the past… I always fear she might hurt herself…”

The latter sentence was vague, its meaning complex—how could she hurt herself? Was it because cutting ties with the Song family would incur resentment from the entire clan? Or…

He closed his eyes, recalling the scene he saw that day in the plum grove pavilion. After the “family banquet” dispersed, dishes and cups were scattered everywhere. What should have been a lively day showed no trace of joy on her face. When she saw him and her brother coming, her expression remained numb. Perhaps at that moment, she didn’t expect any surprises from them.

It was those hometown delicacies that caught her attention. No one knew that when she picked up a thin slice of fish jerky with her chopsticks, his heart also tightened. Even though he pretended everything was normal and indifferent, his peripheral vision still carefully observed her reaction—her eyes were clearly red. Whether it was memories of her grandmother or their past in Qiantang, it was all filled with sorrow and regret, almost bringing her to tears.

He truly pitied her. At that moment, he couldn’t help but think of his sister, who was similarly trapped within the palace walls, unable to be free. Even reminiscing about the past required careful concealment. Yet she was stronger and endured more difficulty. For eight whole years, she continued to struggle alone amidst all kinds of hardships.

He had seen her cry, her emotions intense and flowing like water. Even someone as reserved as her had let down her guard before him. At that moment, he really wanted to wipe away her tears, but she tilted her head back to drink, suppressing all her vulnerability. Perhaps he had indeed hurt her heart in Yangzhou, so she refused to reveal her feelings to him anymore.

He didn’t want that. In fact, he needed her to expose her vulnerability more than she did. Neither of them had the fortune to speak the truth, but if it truly allowed one of them a moment of relief, he would unhesitatingly give that opportunity to her—he was relied upon by countless people in this world, but only her dependence brought him a sense of long-lost comfort and relief.

The transgression occurred at that moment: he couldn’t help but rise and sit closer to her. The late emperor’s body hadn’t yet cooled, and the young emperor and many palace attendants were watching clearly, yet he still recklessly let his shadow touch hers. Perhaps in his heart, he was using this meaningless action to apologize to her. She seemed to be momentarily stunned, then looked at him vaguely amidst the fragrant wine. A small grievance and a small sweetness pierced his heart more than anything else in the world.

He could certainly handle drinking skillfully and remain sober after countless cups, but in her glance, he distinctly felt overwhelmed. Not to mention afterward, she slightly turned her head and leaned on his shoulder. The covert secret didn’t feel thrilling, leaving only a hundredfold thirst and heartache.

—Next time?

How long would they have to wait… to get close like this again, meaninglessly?

His thoughts drifted further and further, finally causing the relatives sitting together to notice his absent-mindedness. Fang Xing gave him a slight bow and softly called out “Master.” When he came to, he lowered his head and asked: “Should our clan make any moves? The imperial examination is a significant matter, and the Empress Dowager has been in power for a short time. I’m afraid…”

This was questioning whether her handling would have flaws. He waved his hand, simply saying: “No need. Let’s follow the Empress Dowager’s arrangements.”

After a pause, he slightly closed his eyes: “If any disputes arise, we can deal with them on her behalf later.”