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Luan Nian saw a thoroughly disheveled Shang Zhitao.
The biting cold outside matched her weary state. For the first time, she didn’t stand upright before someone—her back slightly slouched.
Luke barked excitedly at the sight of him.
Luan Nian was furious, his eyes red as he scolded her:
“Are you insane? Did you drive here alone?”
“If you don’t want to live anymore, just tell me!”
“What’s wrong with you? How old are you?! You…”
Shang Zhitao walked over, grabbed the collar of his shirt, and pulled his head down to hers, kissing him fiercely. It took great effort for Luan Nian to push her away, but she clung to him again. He could only pinch her face: “I’m sick.”
“Then we’ll both get sick.” Shang Zhitao smiled, though there was a hint of tears in her voice. “On the way here, I thought about telling you in person—I love you just like I did before.”
Luan Nian thought this woman was utterly ridiculous, so ridiculous that his eyes began to glisten faintly. His lips brushed against her forehead, hiding his emotions from her as he softly asked: “How long have you been driving?”
“Over ten hours.”
“Do you realize how dangerous that was?”
“I do. But I wanted to bring Luke to see you.” Shang Zhitao held Luan Nian tightly and whispered: “Luan Nian, were you crying?”
“Nonsense.”
“Let me see.” Shang Zhitao suddenly lifted her head, catching a glimpse of Luan Nian’s reddened eyes. He turned away, embarrassed, avoiding her gaze. She jumped up, trying to see, while he kept dodging. She circled around him until he finally stopped. Shang Zhitao saw tears welling up in his eyes.
He probably didn’t know that when he cried, his eyes sparkled like stars.
In that moment, Shang Zhitao’s heart was completely filled by him. Luan Nian wiped his face and pulled her into his arms, hugging her tightly.
For a long time, Luan Nian had felt that there was some distance between him and Shang Zhitao—things like work, family, Luke, and friends seemed to matter more to her than he did. Luan Nian wasn’t a perfect partner; he had an intense possessiveness and needed Shang Zhitao to prioritize him in her heart.
She had done it now.
And he felt at ease.
Shang Zhitao tiptoed to kiss his chin. He was sick, holed up at home, with stubble darkening his face, prickling her skin. Luan Nian looked at her flushed face and suddenly remembered the early years, when she would often blush.
“Shang Zhitao.”
“Hmm?”
“Even though I’m angry, I’m glad you came.”
Luan Nian held her, and they lay together on the bed. Exhausted as they were, neither wanted to sleep. Shang Zhitao began to chatter: “I’ve met Zang Yao, you know. That night in Guangzhou, she came to see you at the hotel. Were you two dating then?”
“?” Luan Nian frowned: “Are you out of your mind, Shang Zhitao? Do I casually date people?”
“But she came to see you in the middle of the night, you traveled together, and you even sent her flowers…”
Luan Nian sat up and looked at her seriously: “How do you know we traveled together?”
“She posted a travel journal online, and I saw it. Back then, we had just… been intimate, and I was heartbroken.”
“But you never asked me about it?”
“No.”
“Why?”
“I didn’t have the right.”
Luan Nian suddenly felt a pang of sympathy. He suddenly understood all the silent grievances Shang Zhitao had endured from him over the years. Was that why her heart had gradually grown cold? Had she mistakenly believed he loved someone else, only to be rejected by him, slowly losing the courage to love him deeply?
“So, you think Sun Yuanzhu was the most special person to you, is that it?” Luan Nian asked her.
“Shang Zhitao, I’ve always been jealous of him. Whenever something happened, you always thought of him first. For a while, I even thought you loved him.”
“So… did you love him?”
At the mention of that distant yet familiar name, Shang Zhitao finally sat up and took Luan Nian’s hand: “Do you want the truth, Luan Nian?”
“I want you to tell me the truth.” Shang Zhitao’s eyes reddened slightly. “Back then, I was constantly terrified, feeling inadequate in every way, and one thing after another kept happening. He was always there to help me, to care for me. I trusted him like I trusted my own family. Sometimes, I even felt he was more important than you because you were always so distant, while family was right beside me.”
“So when he left, I was devastated.” Shang Zhitao wiped her tears. “At the time, I hated how you belittled us. Every word you said about me and him felt like slander.”
“He’s gone now, in that way. But there will always be a corner of my heart reserved for him because we shared so many years together.”
“Can you understand?”
Shang Zhitao held his hand. She could lie to him, say that Sun Yuanzhu was just an ordinary friend and that his departure no longer affected her. But Shang Zhitao didn’t want to do that. If she lied, it would be a betrayal of her friendship with Sun Yuanzhu—and of her feelings for Luan Nian.
She didn’t want that.
She wanted their relationship to be clean, free of suspicion and unease. She hoped they could start anew from this night.
“Do you believe me?” she asked again.
Luan Nian pressed his lips to her forehead: “I believe you, Miss Shang Zhitao.”
“I’m a little sleepy.” Shang Zhitao pulled him down to lie beside her. “Are you still running a fever? Are you feeling better?”
“Can we sleep in tomorrow?”
“What will we do tomorrow?”
“I’m not going back. I’m spending the New Year here…”
“Sleep.” Luan Nian turned off the light, reached out for her, but found empty space. The mattress shifted slightly, and then a searing, naked body pressed against him. Luan Nian caught his breath. Shang Zhitao’s body was hot, but her hands were cold. Her icy fingers trailed downward, and Luan Nian shuddered, grabbing her hand: “You’ll catch my cold.”
“It’s fine if we both get sick. If you still have the energy.” Shang Zhitao’s lips brushed against his ear: “You don’t even have to move.”
Her tone mimicked his perfectly, ruining the romantic mood.
But she quickly grew serious again, continuing her exploration.
She felt it was necessary to do this tonight, to use up the last bit of strength she had left with him. Luan Nian was stirred by her determination, flipping over and plunging into her fiercely. He didn’t let her make a sound, his lips and tongue silencing her completely.
When she finally caught her breath, she heard Luan Nian whisper in her ear: “Shang Zhitao, I love you.”
His breathing was uneven, his voice hoarse. Shang Zhitao closed her eyes and felt as if he had transported her to a fantastical realm. His murmured words of love filled her ears—words he had never spoken so sweetly before. Wherever his lips and hands touched, he praised her, occasionally whispering, “I love you.”
Just as Shang Zhitao thought he had become uncharacteristically gentle, he reverted to his usual self, pulling her out of that dreamlike state. He wouldn’t let her wander in thought, only allowing her to feel him.
Intense, explosive, trembling.
Foreheads pressed together, she tilted her head back to drink in his sweat, only to be pushed back into the pillows. He wouldn’t let her move, forcing her to endure.
Finally, exhaustion overtook them both.
Shang Zhitao slept soundly, her limbs entwined with his all night. No matter what position he was in, she would squeeze herself close to him. Even in her sleep, she needed him to hold her; if he tried to pull away, she would grow restless.
They had never been like this before—sleeping in the same bed, almost without a gap between them.
When Luan Nian woke up the next morning, he came to a strange conclusion: making love cures colds. He felt completely better—his mind clear, his body light. Shang Zhitao in his arms was like a small furnace, warming him until his body felt feverish.
He wanted to do something, but then he heard Luke scratching at the door—he was about to burst.
Luan Nian hastily threw on some clothes and opened the door. Luke barked angrily at him twice, then turned and ran off. Luan Nian grabbed the leash and chased after him, quickly taking him outside to relieve himself. Once Luke had finished, his agitation disappeared, and he walked proudly through the neighborhood like a victorious hunting dog.
Dr. Liang called, and Luan Nian answered, asking, “What is it?”
“What time will you come back to help us prepare for the New Year’s shopping?” she asked.
“I’ll go to the office to pick something up first, then head back.” Luan Nian said, “Also, I might bring someone with me.”
“Bring someone? Who?”
Luan Nian didn’t respond, waiting for Dr. Liang to figure it out. After a moment, she finally said, “Shang Zhitao?”
“Yes.”
Luan Nian heard her burst of laughter. She even turned to Mr. Luan and said, “Didn’t I tell you? This time, our son won’t mess things up!”
Mr. Luan snorted, but there was a hint of happiness in his tone.
“I need to get the girl a gift since it’s her first time visiting us. What should I get her? A bag?”
“No.” Luan Nian quickly stopped her. If Dr. Liang also gave Shang Zhitao a bag, she might think giving bags was a family tradition—and she didn’t like that.
“A bag won’t work… then how about a red envelope? I’ll go withdraw some cash later—five thousand? Ten thousand?”
“No need. Why are you so nervous?” Luan Nian asked her. “You’ve seen plenty of big occasions, haven’t you?”
“You shut up. I’m just afraid that if I don’t put in the effort, relying solely on you, you’ll end up driving my daughter-in-law away. If I treat her well now, maybe even if she wants to leave you someday, she’ll remember how kind I was…” Dr. Liang rambled on before hanging up.
Luan Nian glanced at Luke and raised an eyebrow: “Let’s take you along too. It’d be a pity to leave you home alone.”
Shang Zhitao didn’t refuse going home with Luan Nian, but she felt uneasy about arriving empty-handed. Yet, she didn’t have any gifts prepared.
She secretly asked Lumi, “I’m meeting his parents. What should I bring?”
“It’s not that complicated. Just buy some pastries and bring them—it’s polite, and there’s always room for more in the future.”
“Okay. I’ll go with him to the office to pick something up. Do you want to come down and meet me?”
“Damn! You’re here? Of course!” Lumi finally caught on.
It had been years since Shang Zhitao left Lingmei.
Luan Nian parked the car in the underground garage and went upstairs to retrieve something, while she headed to the surface. The café was still open, though it felt a bit desolate as the New Year approached.
Shang Zhitao pushed the door open and saw that the servers from back in the day were gone, replaced by younger faces. But the coffee still smelled rich and inviting.
She watched the hurried footsteps of passersby outside, thinking about the six years she had spent here.
She felt fortunate—she hadn’t wasted a single day of those six years. Now, looking back, they were filled with heavy, meaningful memories.
She felt a wave of nostalgia, so when Lumi saw her, the first thing she said was, “Well? Revisiting old places—does it make you feel sentimental?”
“Yes!” Shang Zhitao pushed the coffee toward her. “Your favorite.”
Neither of them spoke. Shang Zhitao mimicked Lumi, relaxing into the sofa as they both stared at the barren tree outside.
One year, one cycle of life and death.
Ten more rings had been added to its trunk.
Luan Nian called her: “Come up and help me find something—I can’t find it.”
“Is it appropriate?”
“What’s inappropriate? Hurry up.” He didn’t give her a chance to negotiate and hung up.
“Be brave, Shang Zhitao. What are you afraid of? Don’t you have me? If anyone dares to say anything, I’ll beat them up! Let’s go!” Lumi stood up, pulling Shang Zhitao along. “Head held high, with a bit of pride: That’s right! I slept with the Luke everyone dreams of—and for years!” Lumi strode forward confidently, and Shang Zhitao followed behind, unable to suppress a smile.
Everyone changes, but Lumi doesn’t. She was the same as ever—living freely and clearly.
But when she filled out the visitor information and stepped into Lingmei, her legs wobbled for a moment.
As the elevator doors opened, she immediately saw the familiar office area. Memories of the past flooded back. It was as if she could see her younger self rushing to meetings, always in a hurry. Those endless meetings, late nights of overtime, and repeated failures had all become badges of honor etched onto her.
Some colleagues recognized her and called out excitedly, “Flora!”
Shang Zhitao greeted them by name, hugging them. Others who heard the name stood up, seeing the earnest and courageous girl from back then. Lingmei had many stories about her. After she left, whenever colleagues talked about her, they would say, “That girl was amazing.”
Everyone was thrilled, gathering around her to catch up, asking where she was now, what she was doing, and why she suddenly came to the office.
Luan Nian stood at the office entrance for a while before finally calling out, “Shang Zhitao.”
Everyone turned their heads in surprise to look at Luan Nian.
“We’re running out of time. Help me find it.”
Luan Nian smiled at everyone. “Leave early today. Happy New Year in advance.” Then he said to Shang Zhitao, “Hurry up. We still need to go to the supermarket.”
Shang Zhitao’s face flushed red.
“Go on,” Lumi gave her a push. What’s there to fear? Let the whole world know you’re together!
Luan Nian’s gaze met Shang Zhitao’s, and he made no attempt to hide it. Rumors about him liking men had spread in the company—handsome men from his circle. Others speculated he had a new girlfriend every month. But no one had ever seen his girlfriend. He had never feared rumors, but today, he suddenly wanted to introduce Shang Zhitao to everyone—as his girlfriend.
Shang Zhitao stood at the entrance to his office, just as she had done years ago. His office was still cold and quiet, and the floor-to-ceiling window behind him remained spotless.
“What are we looking for?”
“I found it.”
Luan Nian smirked mischievously. “Sit there and wait for me. I need to send an email.”
“Oh.”
Shang Zhitao sank into his sofa, which let out a faint creak, reminiscent of countless ambiguous moments in the past.
The tips of Luan Nian’s ears and his neck reddened slightly, but he remained expressionless as he handled his emails.
As they were leaving, Shang Zhitao suddenly asked him, “Is Tracy here?”
“She should be in a meeting.”
“Can I go see her?”
“Go ahead.”
Shang Zhitao walked to Tracy’s office, took a deep breath, and finally knocked on the door.
“Come in.” Tracy’s voice was still as gentle as ever.
She gently pushed the door open and saw Tracy still on the phone. Tracy glanced up, then quickly looked down again, before raising her head once more and breaking into a smile. “I have a visitor. Let’s talk about this later.”
She hung up and stood to embrace Shang Zhitao, who hugged her back.
“Where have you been all these years?”
“I returned to Ice City. I’m doing well.” Shang Zhitao pointed toward Luan Nian’s office, her expression apologetic.
Tracy stopped her. “I know, Flora. There’s no need to apologize to me. Love—what can anyone say about it?”
“Tracy, I want to say a few words.” Shang Zhitao straightened herself. “I want to thank you for giving me the opportunity back then. I know I was very ordinary. If it weren’t for you, my life might have taken a different turn. Thank you for always believing in me, no matter what, and for helping me.”
“I’ll always be grateful.”
Grateful for having met so many wonderful people.
She was incredibly lucky.
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