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Among the weaving shadows of cars stood a figure.
Lin Zhan held her milk cup and softly said: “He’s not my boyfriend yet.”
“Not?” The driver pressed the accelerator and chuckled, “Based on my past experience, I thought he definitely was.”
“He’s very kind to people,” Lin Zhan said. “He takes good care of me, even though I’m not his girlfriend.”
The student council members also spoke highly of him. They said that although he didn’t talk much and seemed aloof, he didn’t truly disrespect anyone.
Perhaps it was because of his competence and grace that he was so popular.
The car turned and entered the tunnel.
///
Lin Zhan arrived home at midnight. She thought Lin Zhengping had already gone to bed, but unexpectedly, he was still sitting on the sofa smoking.
The entire living room was shrouded in hazy smoke.
Teacups were neatly arranged on the table, as if there had been no heated argument in the household just hours ago, as if Lin Zhan hadn’t stormed out and made harsh remarks.
Without saying a word, Lin Zhan walked straight into her room.
Jiang Wan was waiting for her inside.
Lin Zhan was tired and asked: “Aren’t you going to sleep? Don’t you have work tomorrow?”
“I’m about to sleep,” Jiang Wan sat at the head of her bed. “Zhan Zhan, where did you go?”
Lin Zhan gathered her clothes for bathing and replied: “Nowhere. I went out for a walk, to clear my mind.”
Jiang Wan: “Don’t keep arguing with your father. He’s doing it for your own good.”
Lin Zhan didn’t want to discuss this: “Go to sleep soon.”
Jiang Wan worriedly said: “You can’t avoid competitions forever, and you can’t avoid pressure forever… Also, don’t always blame your father. The school also wants you to compete. Your ranking in the Golden Art Competition last time was excellent. Afterward, when they published the book, your painting was featured on the third page. The teachers all acknowledged you.”
Lin Zhan: “If you think I can handle it, then stop asking for my opinion. You guys already signed me up despite me clearly saying I didn’t want to. Was there any point in asking me? Is this respecting me?”
Before the Golden Art Competition, she had suffered from insomnia for two weeks, her condition was terrible, and her dark circles were deep.
She had simply mustered her strength during the exam and drawn randomly. Fortunately, luck was on her side, and the result turned out well.
Jiang Wan: “Winning awards can boost your college entrance exam scores. Why are you so resistant?”
Lin Zhan frowned: “Is the purpose of raising me solely to win awards? Even if winning an award shortens my life, it wouldn’t matter? I’ve already said every competition is torture for me; my body can’t handle it. Do you always think I’m joking or lying?”
Jiang Wan: “Mom won’t say more. Go to sleep early. I’ll talk to your father and ask him to stop arranging competitions for you.”
After steadying herself, Lin Zhan took her clothes and towel and went to the bathroom to shower.
She had tried to understand Lin Zhengping. Perhaps he genuinely wanted what was best for her, but his method of education was always confrontational.
— “I believe this is good for you, so you must do it.”
Over time, she truly couldn’t bear it anymore.
Whenever she mentioned her pre-exam insomnia, Lin Zhengping would ask her: “Why doesn’t everyone else suffer from insomnia except you? Find the issue within yourself.”
Insomnia wasn’t like hunger—you couldn’t just buy whatever food you craved.
Sometimes, even when you were exhausted, excessive nervousness would keep you tossing and turning all night.
Falling asleep wasn’t as simple as flipping a switch.
Moreover, they were busy with work. Every competition, Lin Zhan attended alone. Over time, solitary hotel rooms became the thing she dreaded most.
If only they could give her a little more encouragement, a little more tolerance, a little more verbal affection, she wouldn’t feel so tortured.
After finishing her shower, Lin Zhan started organizing the things she bought that evening.
Taking out the donut and cake, she noticed something else in the bag.
Pulling it out, she saw it was an eye mask.
At that time, she had been busy replying to messages and handed the bag to Shen Xi for a while.
Was this... something he added?
Initially, she felt nothing, but seeing the item Shen Xi had added for her, Lin Zhan inexplicably felt a bit wronged.
She knew that Shen Xi probably guessed three-tenths of what had happened today.
Sun Hong had told Zhang Ze about her situation, and Sun Hong had mentioned this to her.
She had considered telling Shen Xi herself, but after some thought, decided to remain silent.
She didn’t want to show him such a despondent side of herself.
She hoped to always appear positive in front of him. Even if she couldn’t be his sun, she could at least bring him endless energy.
///
That night, Lin Zhan fell asleep around 2 AM.
If it weren’t for Shen Xi’s eye mask, she probably would have stayed awake until 3 AM.
Some people had already arrived early at the art studio. In the morning, they were supposed to paint with colors, and those who arrived early were sitting at their spots sharpening pencils.
Lin Zhan yawned, covering her mouth, and walked to her seat, drawing back the curtain on a whole day of busyness.
First, she taped watercolor paper, then filled the water container, cleaned the palette, and returned to her seat to open the lid of her paint box.
During the painting process, it was inevitable to dip several colors at once, and some colors inevitably contained impurities.
She used a palette knife to pick them out.
Sun Hong arrived early as well. Seeing Lin Zhan sorting through her paints, he smiled: “Arrived so early?”
“Mm,” Lin Zhan struggled against her drowsiness. “Have you finished your homework?”
“Can we not talk about such heavy topics? I still have two sketches left!” Sun Hong complained. “I painted until 3 AM last night.”
Lin Zhan: “Take it slow. You’ll get faster.”
Seeing Lin Zhan’s poor state, Sun Hong asked: “What happened last night? Didn’t sleep well again?”
“Not really,” Lin Zhan cleaned her palette knife. “But last night was okay.”
Shen Xi had accompanied her last night.
///
Before the designated arrival time, all the students in Class One had already gathered.
Shen Xi was reading a magazine when Zhang Ze mysteriously leaned over.
“Eh, last night, your mom sent a WeChat message to my mom, asking where we went to hang out.”
Shen Xi: “...”
Zhang Ze snatched away his magazine and asked: “Where did you go gallivanting last night?”
Shen Xi lowered his head and began organizing his books, casually responding: “A friend had a bit of trouble.”
“A bit of trouble? What friend has such influence that a small issue could make our esteemed Shen Xueye patrol at night?” Zhang Ze smacked his lips. “Didn’t you say you’d never go out at night unless I got into an accident?”
Shen Xi looked at him: “I meant in the bustling downtown area.”
Zhang Ze: “So you weren’t in the bustling area last night?”
Shen Xi remained silent: “...”
Zhang Ze widened his eyes in astonishment: “You not only patrolled at night, but you also went to the bustling area?! Damn, who brainwashed you?”
Shen Xi ignored him and tapped the table: “Class is about to start. Can you hurry back to your seat to preview?”
Zhang Ze suddenly remembered that Shen Xi hated waiting for things. Usually, when they went out to eat lunch, they would send a message to the boss beforehand to order their food.
Therefore, the most frequent contacts in both Shen Xi and Zhang Ze’s phones weren’t girls’ numbers but rather various shop owners.
Zhang Ze sighed meaningfully: “Alright, I’ll go ahead. It’s just a nighttime patrol in the bustling area anyway. If one day you actually go queue to buy something… HAHAHA, I’d be utterly shocked!”
Shen Xi: “...”
After finally dealing with Zhang Ze, he took two steps forward before turning back.
He nudged Shen Xi’s desk, looking somewhat panicked: “Yu Qing is here, and she doesn’t look happy… Ah no, she looks like she’s here to complain.”
Zhang Ze: “She’s coming in, I’ll leave first. This woman is too terrifying. I can’t handle it.”
Shen Xi sat at his desk arranging books when Yu Qing approached his seat, pouting as she spoke: “Do you have time now?”
Shen Xi silently: “No.”
“Then I’ll make this quick,” even if Shen Xi didn’t acknowledge her, she still needed to finish speaking. “Um, are you close friends with Lin Zhan?”
Yu Qing’s voice was soft, deliberately spoken in a gentle tone.
She placed a beautifully wrapped cake on Shen Xi’s desk: “I think I upset Lin Zhan. I feel awkward approaching her directly, so I hope you can help me apologize. She might be really mad since she confronted me right outside the school gate last night. I believe she must be angry, otherwise she wouldn’t have shouted so loudly.”
Shen Xi flipped open his book without looking at her, yet his question was directed at her: “Last night?”
“Mm-hmm,” Yu Qing nodded. “Around six or seven o’clock. I was drawing until late, and when I exited the school gate, almost no one was around. It seems she waited for me for a long time at the entrance, even bringing along a few boys.”
Yu Qing pushed the cake closer: “Even though I apologized, she insisted that I personally buy her something from this store as an apology. I… I’m a bit scared. Could you please help me…”
Only then did Shen Xi raise his eyes to glance at her expression.
Yu Qing hurriedly covered her cheeks with her hands: “Th-this should be accidental. Maybe she applied too much force. I believe she didn’t mean to…”
The bell rang, and Yu Qing rushed off, covering her cheeks: “I’ll leave first!”
Shen Xi looked at the box of the cake—it was from the store Lin Zhan had been longing for last night.
When Lin Zhan messaged him, it was already eight o’clock.
///
After finishing her painting, three hours had passed.
During the break, she pulled Zheng Yi Mian to the corridor to get some fresh air.
After painting for so long, both of their eyes were fatigued.
Fortunately, the school had planted large trees, and during breaks, they could gaze at the lush green leaves to soothe their eyes.
Meanwhile, Lin Zhan nibbled on the small cake she bought last night.
Lin Zhan scooped a small bite and offered it to Zheng Yi Mian: “How is it? Does it taste good?”
“The flavor is so authentic,” Zheng Yi Mian pursed her lips. “When did you buy this?”
Lin Zhan smiled faintly: “…It’s a secret.”
After standing for two minutes, Zheng Yi Mian spoke: “After finishing your cake, I want to go downstairs to buy a tube of Oreo.”
Lin Zhan: “Go ahead. There’s still time.”
The convenience store was quite far from the art studio building.
No, to be precise, the art studio building was far from all other buildings.
It was such a hassle that Lin Zhan rarely visited Shen Xi due to the distance.
Lin Zhan: “Come to think of it, I haven’t seen Shen Xi often because the art studio is so far from the teaching building, and I always stayed in the studio… thus missing many opportunities.”
Zheng Yi Mian: “Is the art studio blaming me?”
Their class schedule as art students was different from others. Sometimes they spent the entire day in the studio.
When they reached the convenience store, it was packed to the brim.
Lin Zhan furrowed her brows at the scene: “Ask someone familiar to help you buy it. I feel like you won’t be able to squeeze in by yourself.”
Zheng Yi Mian peeked in: “I know I need to find someone familiar, but it’s not guaranteed I’ll find someone…”
Lin Zhan’s sharp eyes quickly spotted Zhang Ze walking towards them.
Lin Zhan: “Look by the water dispenser—isn’t that Zhang Ze?”
Zheng Yi Mian: “It seems so…”
Zhang Ze spotted them waving from afar and quickened his pace: “What’s up?”
Zheng Yi Mian: “Are you buying something?”
Zhang Ze: “Just grabbing a bottle of water and some snacks. Need me to grab something for you?”
Zheng Yi Mian was surprised that the top student from the advanced class had no airs and eagerly nodded: “Yes, yes! I want a tube of Oreo. Thank you so much!”
Zhang Ze: “No problem, I often help people buy stuff.”
After handing money to Zhang Ze, he squeezed into the crowd. Being slim and not tall, his figure disappeared among the throng in an instant.
Lin Zhan looked up: “Mian Mian, look at how efficient he is. A top student indeed—excellent grades and even excels in buying things with an unyielding spirit.”
As soon as she finished speaking, Zhang Ze emerged from the crowd.
Like he had rocketed in and out.
He handed the Oreo to Zheng Yi Mian.
Zheng Yi Mian: “Thank you so much.”
Zhang Ze smiled and glanced at Lin Zhan, then froze.
Lin Zhan thought there might be something on her box and examined it closely, finding nothing unusual.
“…What’s wrong?”
Zhang Ze exclaimed in surprise: “…Shen Xi gave it to you so quickly? So it’s true?”
Lin Zhan was baffled by his question and frowned: “What does Shen Xi giving me have to do with anything? Which event?”
Zhang Ze: “Isn’t this cake from Yu Qing apologizing to you?”
Lin Zhan: ??
Lin Zhan remained silent, but Zheng Yi Mian quickly answered: “Zhan Zhan, is this the secret behind the cake you told me about?”
“No,” Lin Zhan said, “There must be some misunderstanding. What’s this about Yu Qing apologizing to me? What did she do?”
Zhang Ze: “This morning, Yu Qing came to see Shen Xi. I didn’t hear everything from behind, just the gist of it. Yu Qing said that last night at six or seven, you blocked her at the school gate, shouting loudly and angrily, even bringing along a group of people.”
“She said you demanded she buy this cake to apologize to you.”
“Later, when class started, she ran off, covering her face, and told Shen Xi that you accidentally hurt her because you’re strong… She implied you hit her…”
“Did you slap Yu Qing?”
Lin Zhan: “…”
“This Yu Qing… is she a drama queen?”
///
That night, after returning home, Lin Zhan mulled over it and decided to clarify the matter with Shen Xi.
Slandering was easy, but explaining was not so simple.
…Why hadn’t Shen Xi mentioned this to her?
Did he believe Yu Qing’s words and feel disappointed in her?
Cradling her phone, unsure how to start, Lin Zhan simply called his name.
[Shen Xi.]
After ten minutes or so, Shen Xi’s reply came—a simple question mark.
Lin Zhan: [Um, I heard Yu Qing came to see you this morning.]
Shen Xi: [Mm.]
Lin Zhan: [She… also told you something about me, right? That I gathered people to beat her up and shouted at her.]
Shen Xi: [Mm.]
Lin Zhan grew a bit flustered: [You shouldn’t believe that. She’s lying. Last night at six or seven, I was at home. Though I don’t have solid evidence, I wouldn’t do something so trivial.]
Shen Xi read her lengthy message and succinctly replied: [I know.]
Such concise words…
Lin Zhan continued typing: [But why didn’t you ask me about it?]
Lin Zhan: [I think such matters require verification. If Zhang Ze hadn’t told me, I might have been blamed for this.]
Before she could type out “You might misunderstand me,” Shen Xi’s message arrived.
Shen Xi: [I trust you wouldn’t do it, so I didn’t ask you.]
Because he believed she wasn’t that kind of person, there was no need for verification.
Because he never doubted her, there was no need for clarification.
Even though the timeline overlapped so subtly, and the evidence wasn’t sufficient.
All of Lin Zhan’s words were blocked by his single sentence.
Her fingers paused over the keyboard.
…
…
Her mind blanked momentarily, as if all her thoughts had been sucked away, leaving behind a pure white expanse that was thought-provoking.
It was as if countless fireworks exploded simultaneously, shaking her heartbeat into chaos. Trembling, Lin Zhan slid out an emoji.
She didn’t know what she had sent.
She couldn’t think anymore.
Her whole being felt like a green-skinned train entering a tunnel—disoriented, darkness engulfing her, and at the same time, erupting with deafening roars—
Good heavens.
It was hard to imagine the person on the other end was Shen Xi.
Yet she couldn’t wait to know the expression on his face when he sent this message. Was he as calm as usual?
Had he been moved at all?
Lin Zhan burrowed into her blanket, burying her head into her pillow and breathing deeply.
Afterward, she rolled over, staring at the ceiling to catch her breath, though her lips unconsciously curved upwards.
Perhaps it was the shape of her eyes, but her gaze seemed to capture two crescent moons.
If she dreamt tonight, she wished all lovely people sweet dreams.
She closed her eyes contentedly.
///
Lin Zhan was in a great mood all day the next day.
Even when Qi Lijie plucked a hair from her expensive brush, when a jelly paint cracked, or when Sun Hong knocked over her water bucket, Lin Zhan responded with a smile.
“What is there to forgive?”
Receiving her smile, Sun Hong trembled and quickly returned the mop to its place, fleeing back to his seat.
Sun Hong’s features twisted as he asked Qi Lijie: “Is Lin Zhan… beyond help?”
Qi Lijie’s expression was complicated: “I think she’s fallen under some cult.”
Zheng Yi Mian quietly shifted her chair.
Lin Zhan took out her phone and typed a message to Shen Xi.
[Our art festival is coming up. Are you going?]
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